The Ultimate Hocus Pocus Party Menu: With Extra Puns!

Happy Hocus Pocus Fri-yay, y'all!

This has been... quite a week.

So, once John and I realized hurricane Ian was going to blow away our Hocus Pocus watch party tonight, we did something a little drastic:

We set up the entire party spread the night before Ian hit, just so we could photograph everything for y'all before we lost power. That included a late night trip to buy candy eyeballs while everyone ELSE in Orlando was stockpiling water and bread. It was actually a fun project, though, and a nice distraction to keep the storm anxiety at bay.

Anyhoo, we finished taking the last of these photos around 5AM, and the power started to flicker by 9. JUST MADE IT. I'm also happy to report our house survived undamaged, and John & I are safe staying with friends who do still have power.

So without further ado, please enjoy the post that almost didn't happen, and that I'm SO glad came together, because I had a blast and a half coming up with these ridiculous puns.

The Ultimate Hocus Pocus Party Menu:



First a quick moment to appreciate my tablescape, which I cobbled together from things we already had and a few last-minute Dollar Tree items.


Remember this 3D skull DIY? The lights still work!




I hand-cut the letters from card stock that we spray-painted gold, then taped to pieces of twine. Those are my awesome plastic wall bats on each end of the twine.

Now to the treats!


First some easy ones: licorice strips for Sarah's Lucky Rat Tails.


The Dollar Tree rat skeleton was too cute to pass up.


It'd be fun to add a little tombstone in the peanut bowl, if you have one.

Not gonna lie, this is the worst pun, and also my favorite:

This Is For Posterity, So, I'll Be Honest

You may have noticed I'm on a project kick lately: all I want to do is build stuff and browse the internet for more stuff to build, ha. If you have anxiety or depression, ADHD, or any other flavor of mental health struggle, then you probably know the power of a new obsession. It's new! It's distracting! And it's something better to focus on than all... ::gestures vaguely:: ... this!

Plus, in my case, it involves FUN HALLOWEEN STUFF:

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Oooh, I want to make these. So cute! Plus fake candy apples are an appropriate segue to my next topic, Complaining About Food.

I've had a series of unfortunate food events the last few weeks, and spent too many nights - including last night - pacing the house because it hurt too much to sit down. I pace and pace, often 'til 8am or later, only to collapse and sleep through most of the next day, then wake up to migraines, anxiety, and allergy attacks. If you'd told me ten years ago that something as harmless as cherries could destroy my physical and mental health for 3-5 days, I'd've scoffed. SCOFFED, I say. ... Yet here we are.

I've been eating Low FODMAP for 3 years now, so you'd think I'd have it down, but I keep messing up, dangit. It's so frustrating! I forget I can't have peaches and try a new jelly, or I don't check the ketchup label for onion powder, or sometimes I'll eat something that SHOULD be safe, but still hits me like a semi. Those are the worst; why did this tofu fried rice John's made a dozen times suddenly puff me up like Violet Beauregarde? What did I miss? Is there something else I can't eat now? Whyyyyyy.

Anyhoo, when I finally come out of the pain & insomnia haze, I'm 3 days behind and utterly exhausted. All I want to do is sleep and make cute Halloween crafts.

Exhibit A:

I can stop going to Dollar Tree any time, y'all. My craft supply hoard is completely under control. Yep, yep, yep.

Worse, I keep accidentally starting the cycle over again, and each time I feel a little more stupid. When I get that first ache and realize in a panic that I've messed up again, and have at least 8 hours of pain and pacing ahead - but can't take pain meds, because they cause constipation which makes everything worse - I crumple. How do y'all with chronic pain do it? I want to be nonchalent and stoic and write witty jokes about how life is pain and anyone who says differently is selling something, but truth is when my gut is full of bowling balls and knives I shut down. I have a strict regiment of isolation, pacing, Will & Grace re-runs, and rocking in place in front of a jigsaw puzzle. John remarked the other day that I rock in place all the time now, so hey, at least I picked up a new habit that'll make people steer clear in public.

When the pain does finally stop, next I feel awful for losing all that time. Whole days, poof, gone. With nothing to show for it! And I need things to show for it, y'all. I base an unhealthy amount of my self-worth on productivity. So I swap a physical health crisis for a mental health one. 

Any of this sound familiar? Because this can't be just me, right? I know some of you deal with all this and more. So tell me, how do you cope? What do you tell yourself, what do you do, to make it better?

Better question: What's something you treat yourself to on your worst days? Bonus points if it's Low FODMAP. :D

And to share a little more sweet with all this sour, here are a few more Halloween goodies making me smile:

A Speakeasy Tiki Bar, Our First Reader Meetup In Ages, & Becoming THAT Couple

The other week we did SO MANY things - like, out of the house! - and I'm back with a full report.
By which I mean random cellphone pics and rambling commentary. ;)

First we had our first reader meetup in nearly 2 years(!), and it went... something like this:

Ahhh, it's good to see things getting back to normal. ;)

Yep, 'twas a night of laughter and hugs and comfortable, meandering conversations.

In fact, remember my tribute post last year for Torii? Well this is Gina, Valinda, and Cissie from that post! It was my first time meeting Valinda and Cissie in real life, but we immediately hit it off like old friends. I couldn't have picked a better group to start meetups again.

We met for a meal at one of our favorite restaurants:

Gimmie all that chocolate almond bread. NOMZ.

Although the star of our meal was this avocado bruschetta:

Crispy creamy goodness, HIGHLY recommend.

We ate on the patio at Toothsome's for the first time, and there was a cool breeze and the sound of happy people all around. Food for my soul AND my belly.

Next we all wandered the CityWalk shops together, and I think it's important you know that these double-sided monster bags exist:

Movie Night's New Groove: Poison Potions & Tasty Pill Bugs

I've been scheduling weekly craft nights with a few friends lately, which has done straight-up wonders for my mental health. Our little group has been individually isolated all year, so it's good for them, too - and of course we're being smart about it, with masks and distancing.

Anyhoo, I was so excited for Emperor's New Groove movie night this weekend that I combined it with craft night. That way John and I had an excuse to make themed foods and drinks AND we could all make teeny potion bottles, like this:

Now with that all-important Llama label:

Oh, I can feel it.

Amazingly I already had everything in my craft stash: mini glass bottles, nail shimmer powders, epoxy to glue the corks in - plus I found a bunch of charm options in my jewelry stash, so we could get even more creative with it:

Grocery Shopping, But Make It ADVENTURE

John thought of a way to get us out of the house that didn't involve crowds of people OR being outside, so we made a whole afternoon of it:

WE HAVE FUN HERE

The International Food Club is one of those hidden gems you treasure; it's always empty in the late afternoons when we visit, the prices are reasonable, and it has foods, snacks, and drinks from all over the world. It's like a theme park for your mouth, y'all.

 

Also the front door is made of heavy plastic flaps you have to push through like you're in an action movie chasing after the baddies in an abandoned warehouse. BONUS.
 

 I mentioned our grocery haul in my Stories a while back, but now I'm back with REVIEWS. Awww yeeeeeah. Buckle up, gourmands. We may not be able to travel, but at least our taste buds can.

Starting off with my most fascinating find:

Doganay is apparently a popular drink in Turkey. I had one or two people on IG tell me they drank it daily when they lived or visited there.

I expected this to be carbonated, mildly sweet, and sort of kombucha-like.

This... was none of those things.

This 1980s Themed "My Little Pony" Party Is Going To Make You Smile SO HARD

 

Epbot reader Meghan turns 40 this week, and her sister-in-law Paula - another one of us - threw her the surprise party to end all surprise parties. Buckle up, you're gonna love this.

Just to introduce you, here's Paula and Meghan at 2018's Dapper Day:

John and I actually got to meet them last year! Though now I wish we'd hung out more, ha. (Ladies? Future date?)
 

They both very sweetly gave me permission to share the following photos & some of Meghan's captions, so get ready to grin.

  Meghan writes, "I turn 40 this week. I didn’t expect anything for my birthday except my family watching Hamilton with me in a couple weeks. No big. Nice, quiet occasion. But inside, I’m 5. I’m remodeling one of the rooms in my house to display all my vintage 80’s toys. Everyone is different, this is me. 

"My mother and SIL conspired to throw me a surprise birthday party for my 40th. It was all ponies, all 80’s, all glorious retro-ness."

Ready to see?
 

 

ERMERGERSH

 

EEEEE

 

Paula made all the big pony cut-outs. Each one is a pony she knew Meghan had as a kid. D'awwwww.

 

 Meghan says this Pony Surprise will live in her office now. Love it.

They even found vintage party decorations from the 80s!

 

(They found a lot of this on Etsy, surprisingly enough.)

  

 This was Meghan's view when she walked in: 

Heaving Breaths, Thrifted Colors, & A Tale Of Two Sinks

The last few weeks have had John spending way too much time in doctor's offices, calling doctor's offices, fighting with insurance, making appointments, filling prescriptions, going back to the doctor because they wrote the WRONG prescription, and so on.

The good news is John's lungs are perfectly fine. The bad news is when we went to a new general practitioner to get John a physical, she claimed his lungs were akin to a "80-year-old emphysemic." Then she put him on a $300 inhaler that made him feel terrible and sound like a pack-a-day smoker.

After two weeks of misery we decided to get a second opinion from an actual lung specialist. Many exams and x-rays later, (see above), we were told John's lungs are the picture of health, and that the first doctor is an idiot. Ha! Our American medical system at work, everybody. ::headdesk::

I think the moral here is: don't go in for a physical?

 Suki questions my conclusions. 

John's also been dealing with new medication stuff for me (no worries, I'm also fine) and I'm grateful every day that I have the world's most charming Brute Squad going to bat for me. I tell ya, getting good health care is a full time job even when you're NOT sick.

Oh! There IS some really good stuff that came from the expensive lung debacle, but I'll tell you about that next time. Right now I have more important things to show you:

 Like my latest thrift store haul!

I convinced John to hem my new shorts (the middle ones are Men's sizes, so they're pretty long) and I was ridiculously pleased to find we already had matching thread for all of them. Look at those color matches! SO SATISFYING.

I wore two of those this week:

I Tried The New Ghostbusters Candy Bars So You Don't Have To

It's a holiday weekend here in the U.S., so of course most of us are busy offline binging Stranger Things. (AW YEAH.) ("Grumpy Dad Hopper" is my new patronus, btw.) 

Don't worry, though, I still have some HIGH QUALITY CONTENT to share in the meantime.

Namely, my step-by-step experience of tasting the FYE-Exclusive Ghostbusters chocolate bars. 

 

The flavors are "Stay Puft Marshmallow" and "Ectoplasmic Residue."

These debuted last month in honor of the movie's 35th anniversary, so don't worry, they're not THAT old. You can still buy them at FYE (check your local mall) for about $3 each.

 But before you go spending your hard-earned cash, let's review these bad boys.

 

Green white chocolate. Slime filling. Yup. Scared.

 

My bar was already cracked open from the ride home, but surprisingly there was no spillage.

As you can see, it's a nice shade of green - definitely more of an avocado-countertop-from the-70s vibe than Slimer's radioactive green glow.

 

I'll be honest, I was really hoping for some runny ectoplasmic texture here. Something that spilled out like liquid candy. Instead this is more like a Jell-o Jiggler. (If you're reading a review of Ghostbusters chocolate bars then you ALSO remember Jell-o Jigglers, right?)

Now here comes the moment you've been waiting a whole 10 seconds for:

My Favorite Low FODMAP Meals & A One Year Update

I'm getting close to my one year anniversary with the Low FODMAP diet, so I thought I'd share an update! This will be massively uninteresting unless your stomach hurts all the time, so apologies in advance. :D

Of course I'm not a doctor or expert, so here's the usual disclaimer: never trust anything I say without doing your own research. (Monash University invented the diet, so start there. Then download the $8 Monash app for your phone, because it's worth it.) Most of what I've learned is pretty standard stuff, though, so I'm not going to throw anything crazy at you.

I'm feeling even better since my first (and only?) mention of Low FODMAP here last July. I can still say Low FODMAP has saved me from a life of constant stomach pain, plus a whole battery of invasive GI tests. It's also fairly easy to try and a low financial commitment, so I *highly* recommend it if you're hurting. I still have setbacks when I slip up and eat something I shouldn't - and I'll be honest, those setbacks hurt more than they did before I started LF - but overall I feel pretty great, and I can eat a lot more now than you'd think. I can even eat at a lot of restaurants!

In case you're not familiar with it, Low FODMAP is an elimination diet meant to treat all forms of IBS and GI discomfort, like reflux. It is NOT a weight loss diet. It helps you ID what types of foods cause you pain, and then avoid them. Boom bada boom.

On paper you're only supposed to be strictly LF for about 6 weeks, then you start re-introducing problem foods one at a time. I stayed in the elimination phase for 6 months, which is NOT recommended, but I was both lazy & hit a lot of setbacks. In fact I'm *still* in the re-introduction phase, so I haven't tested some foods like honey or garlic yet. I'll get to them eventually, but for now I've cleared my highest priority foods, wheat and avocado, so I'm pretty content.

 (John says this post needs more pictures. How'd I do?)

One important thing you should know is that FODMAPs are not allergens. I'm not allergic to my trigger foods, I'm simply intolerant of them. There's a big difference. It means a tiny bit of your trigger food usually won't cause a bad reaction. (Contrast that with a gluten allergy, where even cross-contamination is a danger.) FODMAPs are more about the level of exposure and how much you eat. That's not true for everyone, of course, but overall it helps to remember this when you're feeling overwhelmed: This is not an allergy. It's OK if you miss a little something sometimes. Just do your best and odds are you'll still find relief.

I mention this because I've seen too many people get overwhelmed by all the restrictions and quit before they even start. Research and preparation is great, but you can get stuck there, and the more you read about all the stuff you CAN'T eat, the more intimidated you'll get. So my advice? Just start. You don't need a month of meal plans; you only need today's.

 

I have one friend in particular who keeps telling me she wants to try Low FODMAP, so I thought I'd take you through what I typically eat each day. These are my "safety meals," and the menu I go back to anytime I've had a bad reaction to something. I'm eating these right now because two days ago I rather cavalierly threw a bunch of mushrooms on my salad at a restaurant buffet, along with a bunch of other stuff I didn't look too closely at, and I've been in pain ever since. Oops.

I don't think I ever really believed a little food could cripple a person, but I spent most of yesterday afternoon in the fetal position. Trust me, once you understand which foods do that to you, there is ZERO temptation to cheat.

Everything I'm about to show you is Low FODMAP, and - to my knowledge - safe to eat during the elimination phase. I'll also include my favorite take-out options and some of our easy at-home dinners. Hopefully these will make getting started seem a little less scary. :)

Breakfast:

I eat this breakfast bowl from Aldi every. single. morning.

Is it soul-crushing to eat the same breakfast every day? Yes. Is it worth it? SO MUCH YES. Before I found these bowls I had to make my own breakfast every day, which often just didn't happen. When I had the energy I'd make this, though:

A little more tasty, but 1000% more effort.

In addition to eggs, cheese, potatoes, and (onion-free) sausage or bacon, you can also eat wheat-free toast with certain types of jelly or peanutbutter, and even some kinds of oatmeal. (Always consult the Monash app; a lot of oatmeal is not Low FODMAP.) So there are plenty of breakfast options.

Lunch:

We Went To An Epic Game of Thrones Dinner Party! ...But We Don't Watch The Show, So Please, EXPLAIN

John and I just had the most AMAZING Game of Thrones dinner experience, but it's not fair because we don't watch Game of Thrones, so I'm going to share all the goodness here and trust you guys will appreciate it even more than we did.

First, a little background:

Our friends John and Anna love to host big dinner parties, and every Christmas, Easter, & Thanksgiving they throw open their home to all of us without family in town. They're basically our adopted local parents. In reality they're our friend Christie's parents, but now we lay claim and she has to share. 

Now, trust me, with Anna's cooking, you do NOT miss one of their dinners. Even if the theme is for a show you've never seen, like Game of Thrones.

And let's get this out of the way real quick: John and I (that's my John, not host John) aren't GoT people. I'm squeamish and easily traumatized, and John won't watch anything with sexual violence, so GoT is a non-starter. Which is cool, just like it's cool if you like the show. Different death strokes for different folks, eh?

That does mean we were clueless over pretty much everything at the party, though, so bear with me as I explain stuff I know NOTHING about.

Oh, but I did find what I think is a pretty sweet hostess gift:

There are versions of this on Etsy where they'll add in a custom name if you have more time, but since I only had a week I ordered this one from Amazon. And it's so pretty!

This wasn't a costume party, but that's never stopped me and John before. He brought & distributed all our fur cowls from our Knights Who Say Ni cosplays:

(Goes great with a polo, right?)

(The sword belongs to our hosts, and is SUPER heavy.)

Meanwhile I did my best with what I had in my closet:

I wore my Hufflepuff cup necklace, because of course I did.

Now, let's set the stage at John and Anna's place:

Their house is lovely, for starters, and their decor is already kind of Thronesy, from what I can tell. (Anna is originally from Estonia, and they've traveled all over.) John even has furs and big swords mounted on the wall in his game room, ha.

 The plates and cups were especially in theme:

 

And the table was set with candles, dragons, coins...

... and fun miniatures:

You'll see the bread in a minute. It's worth the wait, I promise!

We got there early that day to play Borderlands together (told you they're awesome), but here's the table later with everything lit up:

Epcot's Flower & Garden Fest 2019: And Of Course, The FOOD!

Last week John and I got to visit Epcot's latest Festival (because there's always one going on these days, right?): Flower & Garden!

The topiaries are the big draw for this fest, plus the food, of course. As with all the big Epcot events, there are stands selling pretty drinks and special edibles throughout the park. There's also a butterfly tent, special music, and of course, MERCH.

The new Minnie art on this year's stuff is super cute! I'll show you a few more things as we go along.

Afternoon photos in the glaring Florida sun are a challenge; you pretty much have to point your phone and just start clicking blindly, ha.

Eat your heart out,  JJ Abrams.

(Lens flare joke. Heyooo.)

I took that with a cheap fish-eye lens on my phone. I've also applied so many filters that if you listen closely, you can actually hear the pixels screaming.

Bo Peep is new this year to advertise Toy Story 4, which will no doubt find new and exciting ways to grind our hearts into a sobby pulp. (Am I bitter, Pixar? Noooooo.)

My favorite is the 3-headed sheep! Although I wish it only had 2 heads, so I could name it W. 

(Give it a second.)

(Now say it out loud.)

("DOUBLE EWE.")

(Eh? EHHH?)

My face right now.

Believe it or not, this is the same photo taken at different heights: