Friday, July 5, 2019

I Tried The New Ghostbusters Candy Bars So You Don't Have To

It's a holiday weekend here in the U.S., so of course most of us are busy offline binging Stranger Things. (AW YEAH.) ("Grumpy Dad Hopper" is my new patronus, btw.) 

Don't worry, though, I still have some HIGH QUALITY CONTENT to share in the meantime.

Namely, my step-by-step experience of tasting the FYE-Exclusive Ghostbusters chocolate bars. 

 
The flavors are "Stay Puft Marshmallow" and "Ectoplasmic Residue."

These debuted last month in honor of the movie's 35th anniversary, so don't worry, they're not THAT old. You can still buy them at FYE (check your local mall) for about $3 each.

 But before you go spending your hard-earned cash, let's review these bad boys.

 
Green white chocolate. Slime filling. Yup. Scared.


 
My bar was already cracked open from the ride home, but surprisingly there was no spillage.

As you can see, it's a nice shade of green - definitely more of an avocado-countertop-from the-70s vibe than Slimer's radioactive green glow.

 

I'll be honest, I was really hoping for some runny ectoplasmic texture here. Something that spilled out like liquid candy. Instead this is more like a Jell-o Jiggler. (If you're reading a review of Ghostbusters chocolate bars then you ALSO remember Jell-o Jigglers, right?)

Now here comes the moment you've been waiting a whole 10 seconds for:



I believe my first words to John were, "This tastes like if Windex was candy" - but that's a lie, because I've never actually tasted Windex. Suffice to say this has a very artificial, chemical-like flavor (I know, SHOCKING) that's somehow worse in smaller bites. 

If you take one big bite (DO IT FOR THE 'GRAM, JEN) then it tastes more like low-quality white chocolate with a tiny, TINY hint of lime in the jiggler bits*.  In fact, the lime hint was so tiny I may have only imagined it thanks to the color. The ingredients do list "blood orange flavoring," though, so I guess there's something citrus in there.

[*"Jiggler Bits" is the name of my Jareth The Goblin King cover band.]

[This post is for a very specific audience, and if you're still here for it we should be friends.]

One final caveat: I'll admit I don't usually like white chocolate, so I'm already biased.

But this thing is still gross. 

After my two bites I threw the rest away.


Now, onward and upward with my favorite marshmallow boi!

 
Marshmallow and chocolate! Woot woot!

I mean, it'd be impossible to mess this up... right?

Let's find out.

Ohhh, good start!

Ironically the marshmallow has more of the "slime" texture I was hoping for in the other bar. Runny, sticky - a perfect melted 'mallow feel.


The chocolate isn't great quality - definitely no Dove or Ghirardelli, not even Hershey level - but with the burst of liquidy marshmallow in the middle it's pretty darn tasty! I'm tempted to go buy another bar and make Smores with it, for obvious and delicious reasons.

NOMZ.


So there you have it, anyone still online during the 4th of July weekend! I hope this made you smile, and maybe want to eat some chocolate and go watch Ghostbusters again, because really, you can never see that movie too many times. 

But maybe AFTER you finish Stranger Things.


*****

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18 comments:

  1. Oh I'm down for the mallow, but keep that green stuff away. Which is sad, because a green tinted gooey caramel could have been amazing. Ah well. Thank you for taking the dive! I know I'll be unlikely to get a hold of either as we live nowhere near an FYE, but I'll toast a Smore with dreams of it. lol PS I'd totally follow that band.

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  2. Jiggler Bits! I love that...clearly, I am in your target audience!

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  3. If I had been drinking water, I would have spit when I read about your Jareth coverband. I am still giggling over it.

    I am not surprised the slimer candy bar wasn't good. They made Reptar bars a few years back (I believe you reviewed them!) And they weren't good either. How hard is it to make a yummy chocolate dinosaur with oozy yummy green filling that turns your tongue green? I mean really!

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  4. Won't be able to buy those here in Canada but I would love to share this –– I showed my kids the original GB this week. The usually-chicken shit almost 8 year old LOVED it, and the more bold 12 year old kept whining how stupid it was. Verdict summary? Great movie mama! Yay for sharing a classic with the next generation!

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  5. Get the Chuao "Oh My Smores" bar ASAP. You're welcome!

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  6. Here in Southern California, everyone's online, due to all the "Rocking & Rolling" happening here. You made me laugh & want to go make s'mores myself. Hopefully your post will brighten up the evening for all those wondering when the next Aftershock/Foreshock is coming.

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  7. C'mon, man, it should just not be that hard to make a green (white chocolate) bar with a tasty green filling. Hell, I could probably do it myself. And the Staypuft bar sounds okay, but why didn't they make that from WC and marshmallow? All white and gooey--that would have been fun.

    Or, here's an idea--why not white chocolate with a KEY LIME filling? Oooooh, baby...

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  8. THIS type of post is one of the best things about following you! <3

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    1. Also the more I think about it the more I think they should have just taken the Hi-C that was ectoplasmic cooler or whatever they called that delicious flavor and just thickened it a little and put that inside the candy bar.

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  9. Jiggler Bits is an AWESOME band name. I'm not overly surprised the slime was, well, nasty. It had that look about it. Thank god for marshmallow. It's really, really hard to go wrong there.

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  10. What's an FYE? In my world, that means "Fiscal Year End." I'm off to Google...

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    1. I did link the store's website in the post - clickity click and I saved you the Google. ;)

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  11. Welp, now I'm convinced that we're candy soul mates. I can't stand green candy because to me, it always tastes like Windex - exactly as you described. Nobody else seems to understand, but I'm so glad you do! Thanks for taking one for the team in this ectoplasmic experiment. <3

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  12. JEN! I just laughed loud enough that I started choking. At my desk. AT WORK! "Jiggler Bits is the name of my Jareth the Goblin King cover band!" This is the best thing you could have put in an EPBOT post to me. <3

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  13. Have you seen the chocolate filled marshmallows? They are called stuffed puffs...

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  14. For the green - it does say "residue" so what you got is what is left after the main goo has been cleaned up?

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