Saturday, September 16, 2017

John's Losing His Mind Over Here, And It's Freaking Hilarious

I know it's wrong of me, but I am thoroughly enjoying John's sweat-soaked descent into madness post-Irma over here. Turns out all you have to do to tap the depths of this man's literary creativity is deprive him of air conditioning, cold drinks, and Overwatch for a few days. Observe:

It started with Weird Thoughts about spiders:

Then this happened on Tuesday:

Which really brought out his inner poet:

John composed this with literal tears of silent laughter running down his face, while I watched from across the room wondering if he was having some kind of fit.

That night it hit over 80 degrees inside, so John went to sleep in his man cave where there are more windows to open. I woke up to the following update:

 Which got SO MUCH BETTER thanks to our friend Chris:

 Admit it, you sang along. I know I did.

The next day John started to come around on cold showers:

And after a chat with our local power repairmen, who pointed out the multiple downed lines in our neighborhood and gave even more dire predictions on when they'll be repaired:


Asbestos Cookies would be a great title for John's book. You know, the one I'm putting together without his knowledge, comprised entirely of his Facebook updates?

You'll be happy to know John's been getting the utmost support through all this from friends:

But I think our saga will end there, sadly, because the *next* night it stayed over 84 degrees in the  house, and the still humidity was so thick we were taking breaks in the car just to breathe. So we've officially abandoned ship - er, house - and are bouncing between friends' homes now like modern day vagabonds. Three cheers for warm showers, cool air, and dry sheets!

But I will miss John's power-less updates. :)

PS - Weirdly the cats are fine at home in the heat, and are STILL sleeping in sunbeams all day. I'm starting to think they're part lizard under all that fur.  Don't worry, though, we're still visiting them every day.


  1. You're taking me back to Hurricane Ike, when we were without power for 10 days. We had the baby gate up in the front door to provide a breeze. When the mail carrier came by, the dogs decided it was a capital idea to jump over and chase her. All three (deservedly) got pepper sprayed AND a bath. No mail carriers were harmed in the making of this story. Hope your power is back on soon!

  2. John is such a crack up! Love it! Glad to see you guys escaped to Disney for the food and wine festival! Hope you get power back soon! And cats are impressively resilient, aren't they? Our two Lola and Nanners went through 2 separate 10+ hour drives during our evac from Miami and they still manage to get out of the car and nonchalantly saunter around a room like they own the place!

  3. I've been a follower of your blogs for ages and have never actually commented but being up in Gainesville, I feel your pain and my cats seem to love the heat, fur coats and all. What's with that??? Hope you get the power back very soon!
    I do believe we dodged a major bullet this time... Thank goodness!

  4. See you soon! I've got all the ac ready for you guys.
    ❤ bianca

  5. Oh dear. At least John has found an outlet of sorts for his frustrations. Glad to know you have found some refuge with friends and the cats are okay.

  6. We lived at my mother-in-law's during the infamous ice storm here in Arkansas for a little over 2 weeks...I feel your pain when it comes to "we don't know *when* we'll have the power back on"!

  7. I feel the same way as John about spider webs!! We had one building beautiful webs just outside our back door for a few days. Every time I let the dog out, his tail would snap one of the web's anchor strands and the whole thing would collapse. I felt so guilty... and I think the spider cussed me out in Spider language every night.
    Eventually it gave up and moved further away from the door. :)

  8. We were very fortunate that our power was only out for 2ish days. We only got internet back this afternoon, though. Thank goodness, too, because my husband was going berserk without access to Destiny 2.

    By the way, my dad is just as confused as John as to why the powerlines here are on flimsy poles.

  9. John's spiderweb comment made me think of this video: (WARNING: I thought my comment would go through moderation first. It didn't so ADULT HUMOUR IN THIS VIDEO. Jen, I completely understand if you choose to delete this comment.)

    For a bit of background, Hinterland Who's Who was a series of educational ads on Canadian TV about all sorts of wildlife in Canada's forests.

  10. Dear Jen and John: Posting for the first time ever, to say I sent you a PM on the Epbot contact email, offering AC/Pool/Electricity at our resort hotel, starting Friday. Please check your messages if you can! Signed, A Constant Reader

  11. Well, domestic cats did evolve from cats in Africa and the Middle East so the heat is more acceptable to them :) . Either way, I am glad you guys have AC now, but I snorted Diet A&W while reading this - the burn!!

  12. Not sure which is scarier -- "Power Outage Figgie" or "Moist-ku." :)

    Glad you guys are OK and are able to find humor in the situation.


  13. One of my 2 sisters is still without power in Pinellas County. When she called Duke on Friday to find out the status, she was told this was the first they had heard of outages in her area. Riiiiiiiiiigt! You stick with that story! Especially since SHE herself has called numerous times.
    My Savannah girl could not wait to get back to "her" chair on the back porch to sleep in "her" sunbeam, so I get it with Lily and Tonks.
    Just think of the stories and poems John (thoj) will have to tell after bunking with so many friends!
    Sure do hope yours and my sisters power comes back on soon. Maybe they should think about moving hurricane season to a cooler time of year!! ;)

  14. I remember being semi thankful the only major power outage we went through being in the winter. We had a fireplace, and my husband hoards blankets. Our front room had big windows (sadly old and seeped heat, but thankfully wrapped in shrink wrap for the winter) so we could let the sun help warm the room during the day. We could bundle up and bear through the chill. In the heat we would likely have been aggravated rather than sipping cocoa (thank you fireplace) and playing card games. I'm so glad you guys can find humor in all of this and that you have safe cool places to go take a break!

  15. Good wishes for you
    Hope the power returns soon
    Miss Jen; Mr. John.


    Pinkie Welborne, 16

  16. I feel for you. Here in Michigan, we encounter similar power problems during winter storms. Only difference is we're shivering rather than sweating. LOL

    Glad to hear you've got a means of getting out of the heat. :)

  17. Florida without air conditioning is brutal. I was without power for 6 days after Hurricane Irma, hope your power and internet is restored very soon.

  18. Cats are absolutely lizards. Have you see their eyes?

  19. Dealing with no power in the summer after any hurricane sucks. Sorry John is having such a funny meltdown. As for the cats, lizards in cat suits that turn into liquid seems accurate. Hoping your skinny pole get restrung soon.

  20. I am dying due to all the moist hilarity. But I totally sympathize as I get literally inconsolable when I am hot and damp. Whatever the version of Hangry is for that, that's what I am. Hampry? Here's hoping to power and sweet sweet AC as soon as possible!

  21. Now I really want to follow him so I can have his wisdom imparted to me.

  22. Cats' body temp is five degrees higher than ours, plus they like it warmer than we do, so on average a cat will be comfortable at an air temp about 10 degrees higher than what we consider comfortable. And they won't be uncomfortable at 90 or so as long as the air is moving.

  23. Went through Hugo in '89. I'll never take another cold shower again. I'm glad you are ok. Our area just got some flooding and short term power outage from Irma.


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