Friday, May 31, 2019

IT'S TOO DARN HOT. Also We Saw The Doubleclicks!

They say pets all start to resemble their owners, and I'm definitely seeing a resemblance to Suki this week:


Yep, two fluffy lumps, that's us. :p 

(She was midway through chasing her ball when she just... flopped.)

I'd like to blame the heat... so yeah, let's do that.

 John's been dealing with A/C repair on all fronts this week: the car A/C went out, our house A/C is gasping along, and then we discovered our rental's A/C has a giant hole chewed through it from the local wildlife. (Which was actually a happy discovery, since we thought the whole unit was kaput. A hole we can fix! A hole can be filled! YAY HOLES!)



It's been nearly 100 degrees for over a week now, so every time I set foot outside I start wailing like a rusty siren and demanding smoothies and a moving truck, in that order. "WE ARE MOVING TO MAINE RIGHT NOW.  Right after a Blimey Limey."

(Also me, when contemplating moving.)

John managed to stem my grousing the other day with some goodies from the P.O. box:

My friend and FOE Carrie sent me this awesome metal Stay Puft as a belated birthday gift. I didn't even know this guy existed!

I immediately ran to rearrange my shelf to make room for him. LOOK AT MAH BEAUTIFUL BABIES.

(John took issue with Zero being in there. "That's Stay Puft's dog. Obviously.")

Then Brooke - the master who made my rainbow skirt - sent along a whole box of goodies. This was the stand-out, though:

WHAAAAAT. Amazing.

I also got some sweet cards and hand drawn fan art and things, because y'all are amazing and somehow always know just when I need a boost. I don't show everything here, but I keep and treasure every one of your cards and letters - so thank you.

I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but John and I painted the outside of our rental house a few weeks ago, along with a few siding repairs and new fencing. We ordered new shutters, too, which arrived this week:

I realize this photo is awful, but I wasn't willing to stand outside for more than 30 seconds to take it. Ha!

My other highlight of late (besides editing MegaCon photos, which I'm still loving), was seeing The Doubleclicks at Orlando's awesomest geek pub, The Cloak & Blaster!


The idea of ANY live concert makes me want to back away in terror, but The Doubleclicks are different. Their music is simple and sweet and absolutely must - MUST - be experienced in person. Their records and videos don't do them justice!

Plus they sing about everything you can relate to: Geek stuff and awkward stuff and feeling like you don't belong and preferring cats to people and also how to be OK with yourself and know you're still a badass. They made me cry twice and laugh with sheer joy most of the rest of the time.

Here's a few snippets I posted to my Story from the concert:

And here's the song they opened with, which had a "dance move" of putting your hands on your head like cat ears and flapping them around:

Again, this is SO MUCH BETTER LIVE. So if you get a chance to see Laser and Aubrey in person, drive any distance, cross any river, just go. And bring all your friends. (I brought two friends who'd never heard of the group before, and by the end of the night they'd bought every album and half the merch booth. Bahaha!)

Did I mention they're on tour again later this month?

If you do go tell them Jen sent you. They won't know who that is, but you and I will know, and that's enough. :D

Also shout-out to The Cloak & Blaster for hosting them:

This is the menu. It's hilarious. (Hit the link up there to see what the pub itself looks like!)

If you're down this way on vacation and have a day to spare, definitely check this place out. It's pretty far from Disney, but they have something like 300 different board games you can play during your meal, and the staff is lovely. Oh! AND TRY THE DARK MARK. I rarely drink, but that thing is amaaaaaazing. (It's a milk stout mixed with root beer. Nomz.)

In Kitty News, Eva is keeping a close watch on all the squirrels outside:

Mad Eye would be proud.

And both girls are still loving their Quidditch Tower:

They stay up there when I'm in the room on my treadmill desk, then later we all move to the office, where Eva has decided my fragile plastic inbox is THE place to be:

She also gives Suki her afternoon bath here. It's both adorable and distracting as the aforementioned inbox cracks and pops under her weight, sigh.


Every month, if I'm very lucky, I only get one Dementor day. That's the day when all the joy in everything I love is sucked away, and all I feel is a kind of gray fog.

If I'm not so lucky, I get a few of those days. That's when I start to get scared. When I start to question if they'll ever end, if I'll ever feel joy again. I've often said that depression is more terrifying than anxiety for me, because at least anxiety leaves me with my drive, with my will to live and fight for a better day. But depression? Depression takes everything. I'm in awe of the people, the warriors, who fight this fog every day.

All that to say, today was my Dementor day - I can only hope my only one this month. I've found it sometimes helps to "reset" by binging a show or taking an extra long nap. Just something to let my brain zone out for a bit, and hopefully snap out of the fog. Amazingly that worked today, and after a long snooze on the couch I woke up and - as if a switch had flipped somewhere - I wanted to write this post. I wanted to go play a video game. I wanted to eat something and wash my face and go give John a hug. I wanted things again. 

Just that realization made me a little teary with gratitude. I never want to take these wants for granted. I never want to brush aside someone's feelings when they get trapped in the fog, too.

I don't really have a point beyond this: be gentle with yourselves today. If you're in the fog, know that the sun is still out here, and someday you will - you WILL - want things again. Take it on faith. Hang on to these words, even if you can't believe them right now. 

And if possible, go binge a show, take a nap, and maybe play a video game.

Hey, shooting Splicers with electro bolts can be cathartic.

Just watch out for the bathrooms. And any basement with flickering lights, ha.

Have a great weekend, gang. (Would you kindly?) I love you all 3,000!


  1. Ick, dementors! I wish you could "expecto patronum" them away once and for all.

    1. Oof, thank you - if only we all could!

  2. If you want a green lawn, and don't care that much if it's actually grass, plant clover. It doesn't turn yellow in the heat.

    Plus, if you have my personal stupid human trick, you can give someone a four-leaf clover every day.

  3. I love The DoubleClicks. They started here in Portland, OR so I've seen them live a bunch and I always enjoy it. I also picked up Bioshock and am playing it for the first time. But I have to wait until my 6 year old isn't awake or is playing with her friend next door and have my husband there... I don't think I can play alone.

    1. Same on the playing alone thing! I've actually paused while John was out getting a soda before, because I was too scared to go into the basement by myself. XD

    2. They're from my hometown and I have been dear friends with Laser since highschool -- we've seen them live a bunch, of course, and it's always a delight, even for my shy introvert of a spouse :D very welcoming shows!

  4. Omg, we may need to pencil in that pub for one of our ~dates next year.

    Also, I love you and I feel you. We're sisters in dementor fighting - I've got your back. <3

  5. I've fought depression off and on most of my life, and now, in my 60s, I've finally had a period of several years feeling mostly 'normal'. I don't really know why, but I don't take it for granted, either! I thank the mental health gods every day for just letting me enjoy being alive. :-)

  6. Fog is a good way to say it. it's like the Neverending Story. Sometimes the Nothing gets you and you have to fight your way out. Sometimes you wander there for days. Glad your nap helped.

    1. Oh, yes, what a perfect way to describe it! I grew up on this movie, and The Nothing describes that feeling perfectly.

    2. The Nothing - yes, that's it exactly! Some months it's the classic Sad feelings, but these times it's just an absence of feelings, the big numb Nothing.

  7. If you guys ever move up to Maine (or even just visit for a bit!), that would be awesome. It's been in the 70s on the coast up here most of this week, with multiple forays down below 60. I've been living in my leggings and layered tops most of May, and I'm not really looking forward to June. It's great project-weather, though, and between binge-ing Bernadette Banner videos on YouTube and reading/writing, I've found it to be a great time for cocoa and crochet.

    On a more serious note, it sucks that your Gray Days stack sometimes. That's a crummy debuff I've dealt with on & off, too, and it's awful to see all these wonderful things you could be doing and think "meh" or "... no. Just no." when you see them.

    To better days and breaks in the heat!

  8. We had a couple of almost 100 degree afternoons over here Tampa way this past week. Sakura is like her daddy, she LOVES the heat, but even she gave up being on the porch every day about 2:30. And then she'd look at me like it was MY FAULT that it's hotter than being on the face of the sun out there! Even though Imma Double-Fifth Generation Native Floridian, the heat and I have never really had a great relationship and it gets worse the older I get. It literally hurts for me to breathe outside when it's this hot. And while Maine is not calling my name, the Smoky Mountains ARE. Hopefully in 5-8 years when hubby retires we can move there permanently.

  9. Well hey, these guys are going to be in my home town this month! A random Tuesday evening concert it is!

    You may have already done this, but have you tracked your day(s) of fog compared to your lady cycle? I used to get a singular day of nihilism, but once I realized it came exactly 2 days before my period, it gave me a little ray of hope on the day.

    1. It's definitely hormones, though some months are fine and others are World Ending, ha. My biggest struggle is that I have extremely short cycles - sometimes as little as 19 days - so PMS is almost my default state of being. ;P

  10. Blimey Limey is the best! I get acai added and it is the only thing that gets me through some summer days.

  11. Loved the TheDoubleckicks video. Here is someone you should try to see live, Vance Gilbert.
    Supremely talented singer/songwriter who tells FAB stories.

  12. thank you so much!!! your cats are adorable!!!

  13. Thank you for this post! Need to hear these words today. :)

  14. Holy chips, I relate so much to this song. And to that feeling of being trapped in the fog. I had a Dementor episode that lasted for one month once (after an especially difficult year beginning) and it was like being trapped behind a screen that makes everything look dull, uncanny and vaguely threatening. I've read that oat can help with depression and decided to give it a try. I don't know if it's the fact I ate oatmeal everyday or if the fog decided to dissipate by itself, but things started to regain their usual colors again.
    And speaking of colors : who's this lovely gal on the right of the Stay Puft shelf ? ( ♥ ♥)

    1. The cut-out cutie was the mascot from a paper doll book by a local artist... and I've had her so long I don't remember the artist's name! I need to look that up - I'll update when I do.


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