Saturday, May 26, 2018

MegaCon First Looks & An Unexpected Battle

John and I are here at MegaCon Orlando this weekend, and we've already got two quick videos up of all the fun. They're only 2 or 3 minutes each, so here, take a look:


The Friday one is even better:


Freddy Krueger trying on sunglasses is my favorite. Watch allll the way to the end to see John's favorite; he still cracks up at it every. time. (If you're curious what the heck that is, it's a 3D printing booth where they scan you on a giant turntable.)

There wasn't too much cosplay Thursday and Friday, so it was nice to play with video a bit more. Those are almost entirely John's work, but I did enjoy pointing things out and suggesting a bunch of shots for him. (Like the sunglasses scene, bahahahaa.) I'm tempted to try a little myself sometime, although my first love is still traditional photography.



PANICKY PERSONAL STUFF AHEAD:


Behind the scenes I had a terrible start to the con, going into it already a bit ill with a bunch of health stuff I won't bore you with. Needless to say I chose... poorly... when it came to self-care, and then I had a terrible panic episode Thursday afternoon. John and I plopped down on the floor at the nearest wall, where I sat and shook like a twitchy marionette for about 20 minutes.
 

When I could finally stand again, I clutched John's arm and prayed I'd reach the car (which of course was a million miles away) without dying or otherwise embarrassing myself in front of everyone.


It sucked.



That night I considered canceling the rest of the weekend, I was so stinking scared. My mind went wild concocting every awful scenario - what if I was dying? What if I collapsed in front of everyone? What if my legs stopped working again when we were miles from the car? -  and I felt tiny and weak and incapable of trying anything ever again.

At the same time I'd managed to hurt my shoulder while hang-gliding in Belize,* and the pain, coupled with the fact that I couldn't do simple things like get dressed on my own, quickly turned me into a big ol' whiny baby. (John will back me up on this.) I just wanted to give up and hide at home with my ice packs and my Frasier reruns.



[*"hang gliding in Belize" = "sleeping on it wrong"]

I'd put all of this on my Instagram Story, though, and the messages were pouring in. Messages of support, of love, of permission to hide, permission to try, permission to do whatever the heck I needed to. There were stories from folks who needed to hear that someone else was struggling just then, that they weren't alone. Then there were people who were just impressed I was talking about it at all, like it was OK to talk about - which it IS, dangit.

Anyway, I'm not saying that fixed me. Not alone. Fixing also required time, rest, and proper medication. But by the next morning I felt strong enough to at least pack. Then I felt strong enough for the hour ride to the hotel. Then check-in. And finally, I thought maybe I could walk to the convention floor - you know, just for a bit.

John, meanwhile, had transformed into the perfect mix of loving husband and nagging mother, requiring me to sit and "at least eat SOMETHING" every two hours. He even had an alarm on his phone, for goodness' sake. Between that and my Xanax, we got through Friday and Saturday panic-free, and by Saturday afternoon I was even having fun again.

 


Tomorrow is the last day of MegaCon, so I'm hoping to finish strong. But even if I don't, even if the panic monster breaks free again, at least I know the way there and back again.

Anyhoo, stay tuned for more fun photos, gang. I'm off to to take my meds and get some sleep.

Love you guys.

25 comments:

  1. Sending you a bolstering hug or eleventy gozillion. They are free. Take as many as you need.

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  2. More virtual cheer-leading here...GO JEN! You can do it! Woo hoo John! You are awesome!

    Together you are strong enough to accomplish whatever you set your minds to. Have fun at the Con today!

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  3. You are the awesome, Jen & John. You make such an amazing team, it just blows my mind.

    BTW, I can never ever EVER attend Megacon. I would want to buy all! the! things!!! Those TRUFFLES!!! =:-O

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  4. So proud of you! You got up and got right back in there. I'm telling you, it's more than I can do and I'm so happy that you have a life you're able to live! Love you!!

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  5. Ugh, that mean ole panic monster just ruins all the fun. Kudos for kicking it in the shins and not letting it win. Hope the monster is vanquished and that you have an awesome time today.

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  6. I don't have any sort of panic condition, and I find the concept of these conventions utterly overwhelming and terrifying. So the fact that you have the strength to even contemplate it, let alone actually go out there and do them speaks volumes. Love and hugs.

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    1. I was going to say the SAME thing! I just flat out hate crowds: they make me impatient and whiny and I have no excuse at all. I don't even like Christmas shopping any more because of all those merry people. At any rate, good for you for trying and good for you for succeeding at what you hoped to do. And we love you, too!

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  7. The littles dancing with R2-D2 at the end of the 2nd video! *melts*

    Thank you for continuing to include us on your journey. I can't tell you how helpful and reassuring it is to know I'm not alone in this. *hugs*

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    1. That was my favorite too! Too much cute!

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  8. Sending you my hugs as well. I hope you have fun today, too.

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  9. You made it! Seriously, you're like an athlete. There are many different types of endurance, and you might not run marathons, but I think this is pretty equivalent! You're one of my heroes! (Insert "never give up, never surrender" Galaxy Quest gif here)
    Hugs!!!

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    1. "By Grabthar's Hammer,... what a savings."

      You go, go, go, Jen! It doesn't necessarily matter if you do well or not while you're there (though "well" would be preferable); what matters is that you had the strength to go in the first place, keep going back again and again, face your fears, and endure. No matter what happens, you've won, and we're all here cheering you on.

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  10. Your resilience always amazes me. You go girl! And I'm sorry you too have reached the age of "sleep injuries." That's what I call them. A crik in my neck, my knee aches from sleeping at an odd angle, my wrist hurts from being bent up all night. It stinks. And I'm doubly sorry that hit hit you on top of other things. But, as always you push through, & I greatly admire that. Please take good care of yourself, & give John a big hug from all of us for taking such good care of you!

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  11. Bless your heart! I'm sitting here doing NOTHING, so I'm sending you all my extra spoons through mental telepathy.
    Do you follow the work of Ashley Cope of Unsounded? Is she at the Con, or is anybody cosplaying one of her characters

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  12. Well done you! And I luuuurrved the steampunk ladies in the middle!

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  13. Hugs! Proud of you for trying again.

    Maybe you need to train Evangeline as a therapy kitty? She can wear a cute little vest and be oh, so important! (Of course, she IS oh, so important, but then she'd had a vest too!)

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  14. I’m very sorry to hear that you had a such stressful weekend. I’m very glad that John is able to be there for you in the ways that you need. I hope you were able to get through Sunday okay. Your perseverance is amazing. I hope you are able to take some time to recover from this weekend. *hugs* to you and John.

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  15. I've met blog celebreties!!! Woot, what a thrill seeing you on Friday. Sorry I scared you with my overabundance of enthusiasm after my shocked brain realized who I was seeing in front of me. 1:21 on Friday's video is our little section. We also loved David Pancake and his incredible dragons. The blinking eyes in the wall grate was tooo stinkin' cool. You have inspired me to start working on costumes. Thank you for all the incredible things you share with us. :)

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  16. I was one of those people who sent love (and was wondering if cosplaying as Lady Vadore would help), and this made me cry in a good way reading it. I'm recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and we can't get the meds right, and I'm stuck on my couch under my overprotective and loving kitty. If you can get through feeling like you're dying (I don't suffer from anxiety, but I've seen it and I know in the moment you can't convince the primal part of the brain that you won't and there's no way you can!) I can get through swollen feet.

    Have you ever decorated an assistive device, like a cane or walker? Anyway to make them more fun or geeky? So far all I've managed is to wrap it in white duct tape, then wind appropriately themed ribbons around it (red sparkly at Christmas, zebra stripe due to my EDS, and currently a fun My Neighbour Totoro). I'd love something really unique, or even a way to make a wand cane like Lucius Malfoy's!

    Sending good, happy thoughts, and I hope the con is/was totally amazing. Someday.....it's just so far from Winnipeg!

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  17. Hey - I think it all comes down to "you do you" even if it's not a terribly fun you at the time. Yay to having the perfect yin to your yang who has the perfect timing and combination of all the things you need when you need them. It is perfectly fine to talk about what you're going through and it's perfectly human to go through it. Here's hoping the anxiety monster stays at bay and there are good days ahead. ::sprays monster spray liberally all through the interwebs:: Can't hurt, right?

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  18. Love you too, and glad you made it!

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  19. What great videos! I've never been to a con' and seeing it through your videos was fun. I loved the name of one of the vendors "Geek Orthodox" - clever! When I see Princess Leia, I always think of Liz Lemon from 30 Rock.

    Lisa

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  20. So glad you made it through! The con is crazy enough as it is without having to deal with panic attacks. And I'm glad you and John also made it to the Saturday meetup, you guys were super nice and so was everyone else (I was the awkward gremlin D.Va). <3

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  21. I want to go to a con with you. I've got anxiety just thinking about DragonCon. I didn't used to be like this. I used to have fun. I don't understand what happened. So many people. So many costumes. It used to be fun.

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  22. Obviously I'm late to the party, but I'm so happy you were able to stay through the con. I've only been to the one in Salt Lake, and that is intimidating to me without having anxiety issues. Thank you for sharing the photos and video.
    On another note... Did you get to try The Truffle Cottages' chocolate?! I discovered them at Salt Lake Comic Con, and they have the best fan chocolate around! They just opened a new store front here in Utah, and I've put their chocolate in my friends' Christmas stockings ever since.

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