Thursday, April 6, 2017

Too Far? DIY Wonder Woman Plush Uterus

Hang on. 

I CAN EXPLAIN.

You know those times when you're sitting around, brainstorming craft ideas for Mother's day, and nothing's happening so you're exasperated and a little punchy and you start complaining to your hubby, who is NO help at all, and then you both try to outdo each other with increasingly ridiculous ideas?

That's how this happened.

So without further ado...

I give you...


WONDER WOMB.


Now, I realize Mother's Day is still a ways off (at least here in the U.S.), but I figure you need time to make a cool dozen each of these, because CLEARLY every mom  - heck, every woman - you know will appreciate a plush uterine superhero. In fact, motherhood and/or lady bits aren't even required: superhero uteri for everybody! 

Now, I'll be honest: I vetoed this idea for a solid 15 minutes because I couldn't think up a decent pun for the name. The best I could come up with was Super Ova - which I love - but technically ovum are eggs, so it doesn't quite work?

Then I realized the whole thing was too funny to NOT do, and here we are.


And THEN a reader named Ellie suggested "Wonder Womb" in the very first comment and I was like "YES HOW DID I MISS THAT??" and was equal parts delighted and ashamed. So thank you, Ellie. You've done the world and uteri everywhere a great service. :D

Also, at the risk of erring on the schmaltzy side, I have to say that after the initial giggles I started to see this as a kind of kickass statement piece. I mean, my uterus is definitely a jerk sometimes, but it's also part of who I am and does incredibly powerful things. So, yeah. Whether you see this as pure silliness or a tribute to someone great or a general feminist statement -  or a little of all three - LET'S MAKE ONE.

First I'mma show you my initial sketch, 'cuz I think it's adorable:

The end result is pretty close, right?

So.

You Will Need: 


- Felt, 1 sheet of pink and 1 sheet of blue
- pink thread
- Star Sequins (I found these at JoAnn's for $1 per pack)
- Gold Liquid Lame Fabric (that's 1/8 of a yard, which they WILL cut for you, yay!)
- Black Fabric Paint (not shown)
- Tacky Glue (not shown) 
- Fiber Fill (not shown)

Everything in that photo up there cost me a total of $6, so this is another cheap craft!


First, download & print this template:



Lookit me, making y'all a template and everything.

Cut out the main shape and trace it onto your felt:

If you're lazy like me, fold the felt in half, pin, then cut both pieces at the same time. 

Make sure you cut INSIDE the marker lines, since the edges will be visible.

Next start blanket-stitching around the edges:

Blanket-stitching is dead simple; here's a great explanation if you're not familiar with it.

For the "hands" stitch across at the "wrist" like this:

Then cut the end pieces into 3 "fingers" each:

That was "way" too many quotation marks. Sorry.

Leave the top of the uterus open for stuffing, so you can get the fiber fill all the way into the arms:


Then sew 'er up!

Now comes the fun part: decorating.

Trace & cut out the template pieces for the crown and W belt from the gold fabric, plus two additional strips for the gauntlets/bracelets.

To make the cape set your uterus on some blue felt (hands down the weirdest sentence I've ever typed), and sketch out a triangular shape to fit:


Then glue a bunch of sparkly sequin stars on it:
Use more tacky glue to attach all the gold pieces, stick a red or fuchsia star on the tiara, and now you're ready for the hard part:

Painting the face. 0.o

I did a bunch of practice pieces first, even cutting some felt into strips so I could see how each one would look on the plush:


I decided I wanted it a little more fierce, so I added the eyebrows and left off the rosy cheeks.


Even with practice my final one isn't perfect:


...but I still kinda like her. 

After the face is dried (give a few hours to be safe) go ahead and glue on the cape:


And you're done!

Here she is watching over my desk:

I'm currently making another one in a darker pink with a different shade of blue for the cape - and I think I might make the face a little different next time, too.


So there you have it! WONDER WOMB. Or Super Ova, if you're not too technical. Or Shirley. Or Fred. Hey, I'm not here to judge OR name. ;)


I hope she made you smile.

:D

As always, if you make your own, please share pics on the Epbot Facebook page so I can see!

And if you'd like to see ALL of my projects and tutorials, head over to the Craft Page for lots more goodness.

54 comments:

  1. Storm the KlingonApril 6, 2017 at 3:06 AM

    SWEET MOTHER OF BOWIE THIS CRAFT IS GIVING ME *LIFE*!!

    Cheers!

    Storm the Klingon

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  2. Joann's will cut as small as 4 inches, if you ask nicely :) This is an adorable project!

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  3. Wonderus? Plusherus? Superus? Uterplush? I think I like yours best, though (Super Ova).

    But, this has to be the best plush ever!!

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  4. I'd be laughing hard, if my uterus wasn't currently compressing my lungs all the time. Yay, end of pregnancy. So you'll have to settle for a half-hearted wheeze. ;)

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  5. It's Wonder Womb!! I love this so much.

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  6. This project is so cute, but that's not why I'm commenting.

    I'm commenting because my in-laws are named Fred and Shirley.

    Thanks for the really random laugh. :D

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  7. Oh dear my pregnant uterus laughed so hard I peed a little! This would be a hilarious gift for a Mom after a baby is born. Talk about feeling like a superwoman! And thanks for the blanket stitching tutorial, I am a pathetic hand stitcher so that was really helpful! Ps. You guys really should sell your stuff on Etsy too.... :) There is definitely a market for cute geeky stuff that is also affordable and not everyone is as crafty as you guys or has the time to make stuff (especially when we have little ones in the picture now!). Just sayin'... ;)

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  8. This would be great for those times when your period cramps are killing you. Just grab Wonder Womb and take out your pain on it; squish the cramps away!

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    Replies
    1. Or stuff only the arms/tubes and leave the top open to put a hot water bottle in!

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  9. damn skippy this made me smile!! fantastic!
    (thank you for the fantastic template. xo)

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  10. Looks hilariously great!

    You might want to specify that you're using what some fabric stores call "Liquid Lame" fabric. Lame fabric is much thinner, looks like it's woven out of plastic tinsel (which I guess it kind of is), and it would be fraying TERRIBLY if you don't 'finish' (e.g., hem) all raw edges in some way. (former Color Guard girl here; I used to make lots of flags out of the regular lame.)

    I hope this doesn't come across as a criticism, because that's not what I'm going for! But this can be confusing for some, which may be why some fabric stores call one fabric "lame" and the other "liquid lame;" both are sparkly metallic, but they're very different fabrics. (And now I'm wishing for an accent mark for my 'e's, because I keep typing about "lame.")

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  11. Fun fact: Despite all the drawings I've ever seen your ovaries are actually attached to your uterus, not just the fallopian tubes. I only learned this at 26, my mother at 54, while in Emergency for what turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy. They told me I would lose the fallopian tube but they would try and save my ovary. I then asked if my ovary would just be floating around in my abdomen, and the doctor said, No it's attached to you uterus and would still function normally. I then looked up a legit diagram and obviously she was right.

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  12. The following is not my blog or pattern - but.... for those looking one could also crochet a wonder womb: https://lovelyenigma.wordpress.com/2009/04/07/my-first-pattern/

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  13. I love this! You could make a whole series of caped uteri based on your favourite super ladies.

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  14. Thank you! I'm having tests to rule out uterine cancer right now... so if all turns out to be fine, I'm making this!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Make it anyways. You may want a dammit doll.

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  15. I love this so so much, and if I had the time over the next month I would so make one for my friend Heather, who is a new mom, and who looks and acts like Wonder Woman. I shared it with her though, in the hopes that she'll make one for herself... Thanks Jen, you are the absolute best. THE BEST.

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  16. HAH! This is hilariously adorable.

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  17. So cute! But FYI, cutting out both pieces at once isn't lazy; it's actually the best way to make sure the pieces are going to match when you sew them together. :-) Otherwise you might have small flaws that will make it more difficult. And like previous commenter said - liquid lame! Regular lame is the devil's fabric (along with confetti dot and heavy duty spandex).

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  18. Fred was the name of my Wonder Wombs nemesis (a uterine fibroid)

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  19. Another idea is to make it out of flannel and fill it with rice or deer corn and then you have a WONDER WOMB heating pad for those not so wonderful days. I like using deer corn for my heating pads, but it only comes in humongous bags, so if you know a hunter ask for a ziploc full. Or do what I did and buy flannel remants and make heating/cold packs of all sizes. Skinny long rectangles for neck, wide long rectangles for shoulders, skinny short for forehead/eyes, wide short for abdomen or whatever shape you want to sew. I like rectangles over anything with a curve to sew lol. They make great gifts! And this comment veered into the random but hey more crafting!

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    Replies
    1. As there is no like button - heating pad was what I was thinking and I'm glad you already suggested it :)

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    2. I had a friend who would do something similar with feed corn, but then she got a boll weevil infestation, so STRONGLY SUGGEST that you briefly microwave bulk corn to kill any eggs.

      It was bad. VERY BAD.

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    3. "Here's a heating uterus for your bleeding uterus"

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  20. Totally making this as a Christmas Tree ornament to go with my flaming dumpster from 2016.

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    Replies
    1. I need to know more about this flaming dumpster ornament.
      Don't want to. NEED TO.

      Delete
  21. My son is laughing so hard. He is literally on the ground in hysterics.

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  22. This is great timing. My mother is currently going through chemo treatments for Uterine Cancer.

    3 months ago, while my mom was having her hysterectomy, my father and I found a stuffed uterus in the gift shop (along with many other stuffed body parts), and I thought, "Hilarious. $25? Not so hilarious". So I didn't get my mother a stuffed version of her removed "womb".

    But, looking at this...I'm cracking up. Everyone needs a wonder womb! Especially a homemade one!
    And for $6? I just need to learn to sew. I shall put her on a shelf and name her Laverne.

    Thanks for the great crafting ideas, Jen!

    --Piper P from Washington State

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  23. I think I would want to make it two sided so you could have an angry menstrual monster on one side for those times of the month and a happy wonder womb for the other side.

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    Replies
    1. "Angry Menstrual Monster" should be the name of your band.
      You could have hits like "Release the eggs!", "Bleed for days", and (my personal favorite) "Cramp On".

      --Piper P from Washington State

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  24. Thank-you for inspiring my next Hallowe'en and/or comic con costume!

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  25. This is amazeballs. I want to make one!

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  26. This made me laugh out loud!

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  27. Absolutely glorious, and definitely not too far - everyone should have a Wonder Womb!

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  28. This is amazing! (Imagine that in Sweetie Belle's voice, that's how it sounded in my head) My three year old thought it was a Shopkins, ha ha. And I have all the materials! (Except a printer but I can trace in my screen) I have lots of other projects pending but it is so tempting to make this for my best mom friend who is about to have her baby!

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  29. This is FANTASTIC! I'm totally going to have to make one for myself.

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  30. This is great and I love it. Not quiiiite sure how my female friends would feel about this as a gift from me (a man who has no idea what owning a womb is like) but it gets my hearty support all the same.

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  31. That is awesome! Also, I'm periodically saying, "Wonder Womb" because it is fantastic to say out loud. :D

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  32. "Wonder Womb-an" maybe? I love this. Super hilarious commentary too.

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  33. When I got "fixed" nine years ago a friend of mine knitted me a uterus with RIP '07 embroidered on it. This deeply confused the sweet doctor who did the job (very well). She did knit, and had seen them in knitting magazines but ... I guess she'd had patients who were upset about loosing their 'lady bits'. Me? Overjoyed. But then, I'm allergic to kids and always have been.

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    Replies
    1. My ex-husband got a vasectomy as my Christmas gift the year our youngest was born. I got him an anatomically correct Santa ornament with his surgery date written on the hat and a sash that said "Great Balls 'o Fire." I believe our children still insist that he put it on the tree every year. Best gift anyone ever got me :-)

      Delete
  34. This is amazing, but don't forget trans people exist! Not all women have a uterus, not everybody with a uterus is a woman and uteri aren't inherently "lady bits" any more than long hair or a small waist are.

    (edit: CAPTCHA wants me to prove I'm not a robot, probably because I'm talking about women not forgetting out transsisters :U)

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    Replies
    1. I didn't forget, honest! Sorry if "lady bits" came across as exclusionary; especially since the context where I used it was trying to be as INclusive as possible (ie, not everyone needs a uterus to want a uterus plush.) Guess I need some new euphemisms!

      Delete
  35. This popped up on my FB feed the same day I was released from the hospital after a Hysterectomy (along with other -ectomy and -opsy procedures). It really brightened my day. Thank you Jen.

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  36. I mentioned wanting to whip up a few of these because I had the materials handy - and a friend from college asked me to make her one because she just had her right ovary removed last month and she wanted something to remind her that she is a fully badass woman even if she's lacking in the ovary department. We decided to make a robot right tube ala C3-PO for her. I'll post pictures when its done, but thank you THANK YOU for sharing this pattern so I can offer some comfort as she recovers from this!!

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  37. These would be great gifts to have on hand to give your daughters for their First Blood ceremonies (or however you want to commemorate a sense of empowerment and celebration when they start their periods). Or help them make one at that time...
    DBC

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  38. you can actually get "Period Panties" with Wonder Womban on them. I have a pair and love love love them
    https://www.harebraineddesign.com/collections/briefs/products/wonder-womban-period-panties-boyshorts?variant=11942776065

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  39. OMG if only I knew how to sew XD XD XD

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