Friday, August 6, 2021

I Beat Up Salacious Crumb And I'M NOT SORRY

Note: this post contains photos of fake blood/wounds on a fantasy creature who totally deserves it.



Oh, and click here if you missed Part 1 of our latest Cosplay build!


This next part of John's "Boba Vet" cosplay is a little twisted, and absolutely hysterical if you are, too. It's also kind of creepy, and given how much I enjoy funny creepy things, it's really no surprise this is my favorite part. I'm inordinately proud of it considering all I did was repaint a Star Wars toy and add some medical props, but I'll let you judge for yourself.

 I started with this "Kowakian Monkey Lizard" toy sold at Galaxy's Edge in Disney:

Most folks know this creature as Salacious Crumb, so I've dubbed ours Sally.

These toys are made to sit on your shoulder, and you can puppet their heads & mouths with the attached controller. They're expensive, I think around $75. To give you an idea of how long John's wanted to do this cosplay, we had a CM friend buy us one when Galaxy's Edge first opened over two years ago. I can't find them on Shop Disney, so they may be out of stock or discontinued by now.

Here's our Sally, clean, mean, and pristine:

That's about to change.

::evil grin::

Well, not the mean part. If you've seen Star Wars you know Salacious is a nasty piece of work, so rest assured he has all of this coming. 

Official GIF Reminder That Sally Is A Jerk:


That's right, monkey lizard, you're going down.


First I mixed some craft paint into a muddy brownish gray color, diluted it with water, and painted it all over Sally, quickly wiping it off again with a rag:

I also scrubbed some paint into the hair, so he's good and grungy.

Next I used a dark red paint to make scratches and gouges, lightly edging them in black to give them depth:

It's amazing how realistic that belly wound got with just a hint of black outline on one side.

For the final disgusting touch, I coated all the bloody areas with glossy Mod Podge, so they'd look wet and seeping. (Oh dang, "seeping" is just the worst word ever, isn't it?)

With Sally finally looking like the end of an MMA fight, I grudgingly turned to bandaging him up. After all, Boba Vet doesn't care if his patients are a jerk. (Boba Vet is nicer than I am.)

I used Dollar Tree medical tape to make the bandages and arm cast, then these Dollar Tree chopping mats to make a tiny Cone of Shame:

This lighting in my process shots is terrible, so lets skip straight to the beauty shots to show all this off:

Ta-daaa! Smile for the camera, Sally!

You're... not going to smile, are you.

I guess I deserve that.

The lighting blew out the bandage a bit, but you can really see Sally's bloody knuckles and scrapes here. I also dulled the plastic shine of the nails by coating them in flat paint.

The arm brace is made from a thick paper straw covered in medical tape, hot-glued in place:

His belly band shifted a bit; the stain should line up with the belly gash.

Listen, y'all know I love sunshine and rainbows and dressing like a six year old, but this next picture makes me laugh SO HARD:

It's the grumpy "you will pay for this" expression for me.

(While I was aging Sally I accidentally dripped paint in one of his eyes, and I liked the look so much I added a bunch more to white it out.)

Now let's take a moment to appreciate the finished porg cart:

The control cable for Sally is draped behind the porg and attached to the cart handle with zip ties, so John can puppet him at just the right moment to make people jump.

The cart started its life as this gorgeous FB Marketplace find:

Look at that beautiful weathering. LOOK AT IT. And only $20!

John used the handle, wheels, and some of the bracing to make this smaller dolly cart. He added wood side pieces & a metal brace on the bottom, which I painted to match the existing red metal finish:

The handle is the original finish, the side pieces and bottom trim are my painted sections.

I don't usually toot my own horn, but look how well this aging turned out! The gray chipped areas are craft paint, edged here and there with silver Rub n' Buff. Aw yeah. TOOT TOOT.

In my last post one a reader named Meg suggested we add a tag saying the porg was too "bitey," which delighted me so much I took that idea and ran with it:

My sticker isn't sticking very well; I guess I need something stronger than glue stick.

Oh, and I've added some bloody slashes to John's lab coat; my back story is they're from this Porg. Nyah-ha-haaaa.

We haven't found the right sound effects yet to play from inside the carbonite, any of you have suggestions/links to good sounds? I want something comical but also angry and kinda shrill, closest thing I've found so far is an angry tribble. Maybe if we pitched that down? Then we can intersperse the yelling with comical snores, which we already have from our Drowsy Goblin painting. I really want to bring the funny with this one, so hit me with any more ridiculous ideas you have.

Next time I'll introduce you to our dianoga, which John made from scratch, and show you how John will be carrying it around and making it move to freak people out.

Which reminds me:

There's a peek at Sally looking around.

In fact I'm holding out on you, because we actually debuted this costume last weekend for a quick trial run at Tampa Comic-Con. We quickly discovered a few key things to improve/change, though, so the work continues!

I'll have a full report and some fun photos from Tampa Comic-Con for you next week. 'Til then have a cozy weekend with plenty of rest, chats with friends, and all the fun stuff that fills you up.

If no one's told you today, I want you to know that shirt is bangin'. Also I love you, and I'd take it as a personal favor if you'd be good to yourself today, and remember how much we need you here. Kthx.


P.S. I have a completely random Amazon purchase I need to rave to someone about:

Y'all. I got myself a TP holder with a phone shelf last month, and it's the best $17 I've spent in ages. How sad is that. But listen, I'm forever paranoid I'm going to drop my phone in the toilet, so I always take it out of my pocket and set it on the sink or the edge of the shower - but now, no more! Because HANDY SHELF! It even has a lip so the phone won't slide off. My only regret is not getting the larger size, since John switched to jumbo TP rolls which don't fit at first. So get the bigger size if you use the bigger TP rolls.

Plus - PLUS - no installation screws needed, because this comes with a big adhesive pad on the back that sticks suuuuper strong. It's literally peel and stick, and holding rock solid a month later. HIGHLY recommend for my fellow paranoid phone peers.  (Heyooooo) (See what I did there?)


  1. Farting noise? Then disgruntled/disgusted Porg noise at being trapped in carbonite with his own fart? (I wish I could take credit for this idea, when we were kids my brother thought the funniest joke ever was the idea of Han Solo farting in carbonite.)

  2. Zoidberg noises.

  3. Phone peers. ***snort*** Good one! Looking forward to thw big reveal!

  4. Still thinking about that Porg sound but other costume add ons:

    Vet/Vet Tech bag and/or backpack
    Scrubs (at least scrub pants maybe) - it's basically an excuse to wear pajamas.
    They also have pens out there that look like full syringes.

    The more I think about this its the perfect cosplay: comfy scrub bottoms, cup holders and an excuse to incorporate a backpack. And you can also get away with wearing a mask and safety goggles (if you want to go that far) . Ahhh, sounds nice.

    1. Oooh, you could get one of those clear face shields and add a couple of "blood splatter" lines. If they ran from a lower corner to the opposite upper corner then that should avoid being a visual hazard.

  5. Can't wait to see it all together! It looks great so far!

  6. that TP phone shelf - I wish they made a travel version. So many hotel bathrooms have the sink outside, and no flat surfaces at all in with the toilet and shower, except the floor.

    1. You could turn it into a travel version if you used 3M Command strips to stick it to the hotel vanity! I used Command strips all the time when I travel!

  7. 100% if you're looking for weird animal noises, track down a pug. Not only primo snoring, but everything from swamp monster to strangled howls to 'singing'. You won't regret it!

    1. THIS PERSON SPEAKS TRUTH! Especially snores, but also pig-like grunts and shnurfling! And if you get the sound of a Pug being all worked up, like the one who goes bananas when they realize they're at Petco, or the one that HOWLS in AG-OOO-NYYY when his person so much as touches his feet to do his nails.

      We lost our boy Mr. Fred T. Lucas last December, from a sudden stroke; the Vulcan and I missed him something awful (still do), but within about three weeks it was just too damn quiet around here, so we called our friends at Pug Rescue, and got our 13 year old lady, Miss Chee Chee LaRoooo (Appearing twice nightly in the Va Va Voom Room!)

      Your Pal,

      Storm the Klingon

  8. I was grinning like an idiot reading this entire post. Absolutely brilliant!! I love everything about this, and you guys did a great job on Sally!

  9. BRILLANT! The Cone of Shame reminds me of pissed off cats...snicker, snicker...
    You two are wonderfully creative and twisted!

  10. What about angry The Cheat sound effects from Homestar Runner?

  11. OMG, that's fantastic!! Great job, he really looks like he's been in a fight.

  12. The cone of shame is just BRILLIANT


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