Tuesday, July 9, 2019

The Thought Process Of Everyone Walking On A Treadmill For The First Time In A Long Time


OK, just gotta set a nice brisk pace... there we go.

Ahh, see, this isn't so bad!

Yep, it's good to stretch the ol' legs. Mmm.

Really, I don't see why I don't do this every day.

Heck, I should get one of those treadmill desks! I could do that.

I mean, I don't even notice I'm walking here! This is easy! I could go for hours!

Oooh, imagine if I walked my entire work day. They say sitting is the new cigarettes.

Man, if I walked all day I would lose so much weight. I bet I could even fit into those jeans again.

Look at me! I already feel healthier!

That's it, I'm gonna research a treadmill desk. Then I'm gonna walk on it ALL DAY. Every time I'm at the computer, or watching TV: all walking. It'll be the new me! I can do this!

[.....]

See, here I've been walking at least an hour, and it's like nothing. I'm barely tired!

Well, maybe a little tired.

But that's normal, this is a workout, after all. I'll build up to the all-day thing. Maybe start with just 6 hours a day. Yeah.

Humm. Yep. Six hours a day. Cool cool cool.

Oof, it's getting a little warm. Better turn up the fan...

That's better.

So maybe I'll have a few breaks during the all-day walking thing, just to cool off. Gotta work towards a goal, right? So like, two hours at a time, a little break, then back on again. Easy peasy.

FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE, baby! Right here!

I can't wait to wear those jeans again. Oooh, and I should buy those shoes I saw last week to go with them. Yaaasss. Just a little reward, you know, for taking all these healthy steps.

"Healthy steps." Aheheheh snerk.

[......]

Do I like kale?

[.....]

Eh, with all this walking, probably not necessary.

[.....]

I bet I could run a marathon. You know, eventually.

Not that I'd want to. But I could.

[....]

Whoa, my leg just went a little wobbly. Yikes.

I guess I am kind of tired. I'll keep going just a few more minutes.

[...]

Ug.

I really want to sit down now.

Why is it so hot in here?

Are my calves cramping? Is this what a blood clot feels like?

Screw it, that's enough physical activity for one day.

But hey, this was a good start! I did the thing! Yeah!

I'm so proud of me.

In fact, I'm gonna take a picture of the display. Gotta show Mom how long I walked! She'll never believe it! Hee!

Let's see... I think the timer display is this button...

::beep beep beep::




WAIT WHAT


*****


Written by the gal who does own a treadmill desk, but still has this inner dialogue every. single. time.


*****

Hey, need anything at Amazon? Like maybe that pair of shoes to go with those jeans? 'Cuz if you use my links to shop, it helps support the site: USAUK, Canada 

Thanks, gang!

16 comments:

  1. HA-HA-HA! I have the same inner dialogue every time I go to the gym, which is several times a week.

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  2. The struggle is real... My treadmill reaches out to your treadmill in solidarity.

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  3. We finally put our treadmill-turned-cat-playground on the curb with a sign that said: "Free! It still works - but we do not."

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  4. This is more or less me on the elliptical at the gym... I could do this for an hour! Well, maybe 30 minutes. Man, this is pretty hard work, good thing I’ve been at it for... 15 minutes??

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  5. Omgosh I know that inner dialogue. I worked last semester at the desk for our colleges gym, I got to where I knew the schedule of the regulars enough that I could work out in peace. Thankfully the treadmill I liked had the hill settings and so I got to watch my progress on a specific track. Otherwise I'd have given up like on the elliptical where the only screen for progress was an oval my dot tracked around. XD I can't imagine it being my desk though, I'd die. You rock.

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  6. Bahahahaha we've all been there. :P

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  7. I tried to convince my husband once that I need a treadmill desk. Besides just not having enough space, he knows my track record with things that are going to revolutionize my life . . .

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  8. I ordered from Amazon thru your link last week! -SMT

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  9. Bwah ha ha ha ha! (From the woman who gets almost zero exercise. Zero. And who's never been on a treadmill in her life.) I take it that display means 22 minutes, not 22 hours?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, lol. I'm not sure if my display even registers over 2 hours. :P

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  10. Pretty much that every time I go to the gym. At least when I walk around the neighborhood, I know that if I stop half-way through, I won't be where the food is. The gym? Mmmm notsomuch.

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  11. A group of women from my neighborhood started getting together for walks. It was fun...until the temperature started getting over 75 degrees. I went yesterday and nearly died. Today I went to the mall, now trying to convince my neighbors to go with me.

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