Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Wait. What Day Is It, Again?

I've been sick in bed all week with some kind of sinus yuckiness, so my head is splitting queasy and I don't know what day it is and I'm behind on everything: posts, housework, shaving my legs, etc.


This morning afternoon I staggered out of my pillow nest and haze of humidifier mist to find a quiet house, because John had thoughtfully locked the beasts in my office to keep them from yowling at my door while I slept.

I checked Facebook, and found a feed full to brimming with all my friends' silly Valentine puns to each other, cute puppy photos, funny geek memes, art, declarations of love for their SOs or their fellow singles, hearts and sappiness, defiance and silliness.

As I sat there swaying in front of the computer, wondering which massively overdue task I should tackle first, I heard the car door slam in the driveway, then John whistling some tuneless snippet as he walked up. He always whistles. And sings. And generally makes noise, I think to let me know he's here, he's coming, this silence and stillness aren't forever.

"Hello?" he calls, coming in with the force of a happy hurricane. "I bought new cat food, since Tonks threw up the new stuff three times this morning. SUPER gross."

He breezes into the office, making no mention of my two-day-old t-shirt or hair sticking out a foot in every direction. "How are you feeling?" A quick hug and kiss on my mat of giant hair. "Happy Valentines day, love, sorry I only brought you cat food." Breezes out again.

I putter around on the computer a few more minutes. More swaying. More eye-rubbing.

"Oh!" it's John again, big smile. "Look at this!"

It's a homemade card from an Epbot reader named Meg. It has donut stickers all over it with tiny googly eyes, and it says, "Donut be anything but you." And there are more: a whole stack of cards from the P.O. Box, plus a sweet plush Figment for John that someone's had since their childhood.

My stabby head stabs again - is it normal to have your cheekbones hurt? - and the room keeps pitching around, but I don't have to look far to find a smile. Flowers and chocolates and sinus infections are temporary. Friendships and thoughtfulness and the kind of love that overlooks grossness and brings home cat food is the stuff that matters, the stuff worth celebrating.

So yeah, as Valentines Days go?

I'd say this one's pretty great.

Hope yours is, too.

Oh! And just to clinch the deal, there's also these:

A post shared by Caley Hicks (@thechicks914) on

Sweet Stay Puft! Best Valentines art EVER.

(via Proton Charging, which has a ton more)

And finally, this last one I CANNOT UNSEE, and therefore must inflict on all of you:

There's a "shake & bake" joke in here somewhere, I just know it.

Sorry/Not sorry.

Happy Wednesday, y'all.


  1. Yeah, totally not sorry on that last one, lol.

  2. I just teared up a little. You're totally right, true love is cat food. And that came out wrong. oh well.

    1. No, the REAL True Love is cleaning up the cat barf.

  3. Happy belated Valentine's Day, Jen, John, and FoE everywhere!

  4. I spend my Valentines Day single, solo and alone, eating burger from Five Guys and watching Black Panther. It was the best Valentines Day of my life.

  5. Sorry to be a downer, but this year's Valentines Day is better than last year's. Because nobody died. Last year my oldest friend and my father both died, in totally unrealted ways and places, and it knocked me for a loop. I kept waiting for the next bit of bad news.
    So yes, this year this day was better.

  6. Epbot readers are some of the best at cheering you up when they have no idea you need it. <3

  7. John is awesome and I LOVE when people brag on their significant other. As a very frequent sinus infection sufferer, it's totes normal to have your cheekbones hurt when there's an active sinus infection. Like, the diagnostic test for sinus infection is for the doc to press on your cheekbones and ask if it hurts/feels bruised, or to have you lean forward and ask if that makes your cheekbones hurt.

  8. Damn, this year's flu is the suck that just keeps right on sucking, ain't it? It trips me out to think that 100 years ago, both of my maternal great-grandparents lost loved ones to the epidemic, and how grateful I am for anti-biotics.

    After having lived through the Captain Trip's Superflu last month (which turned into pneumonia! woo hoo! And on the third anniversary of quitting cigarettes!), I was doing OK, except my right ear was all blocked up. It likes to do that sometimes if I'm sick enough. Told my doctor, she had a look at it, pronounced that it was just wax, and that I should get a Debrox kit from the drug store to use at home.

    So, I did... a bunch of times... for like a week. Then I started getting jabby pains in my ear; infrequent at first, but then soon advancing to TAKE ME TO URGENT CARE! levels with a day or two, pretty much all of Valentine's Day. Went in at 8:30 AM, and the doctor says yes, I most likely do have an ear infection, but she can't be sure because she can't see my eardrum for all the wax. They proceed to use every substance and technique available to them for over TWO HOURS, only to discover that there was a carapace of ancient earwax completely affixed to my eardrum. She says it looks like it's been there a long time, too, and she's amazed it hasn't hurt me before. I get sent home with anti-biotics and a referral for an EMT (who I see next week).

    Here's the thing; I haven't heard correctly out of that ear since I was a kid, at least 30 years. My hearing on that side was just kinda muffled, maybe 30-35% loss, and every so often and totally random, I'd get a weird stabby pain where my jaw/cheekbone/ear assembly meets that went away if I rubbed it. I just thought it was damage from too much youthful headbanging, and that was my life, what can you do?

    Now, I find out that it really was messed up this whole time, and that it could/can/will be fixed soon? The first thing I thought was "Dude, is this how Jen's John felt when he found out he could get his ear fixed...?" SO MANY FEELS! Happy to not be in pain, angry that it's taken so long, sad to think of what could've been, and delighted not to have to yell "MUMBLER!!" at my Vulcan every time he tries to speak to me on my right!

    Give the big lug a hug for me, Toots, and tell him a Klingon is feelin' him all over. ;)

    Your Pal,

    Storm the Klingon

    1. P.S. Sorry, but the Vulcan says that I left out his favourite part:

      When the doctor was using her scopey-thingy to see the afflicted area, I told her "Doc, I'm warning you right now-- if you pull out a goddamn bug covered in my own ear amber, I'm gonna freak the hell out Daffy Duck-style all the way to the nut-hatch. Just so we're clear."

      So far, no bug.

      Your Pal,

      Storm the Klingon


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