Sunday, February 25, 2018

Let's All Facebook Stalk My New Best Friend Who Doesn't Know I Exist

Fair warning: I'm about to cross the streams by showing you a funny cake. Or rather, something hilarious ABOUT a cake. Something that made my whole weekend, so you MUST SEE.

It all started with this Instagram post:


...which started a veritable firestorm of "OMG LOOK A VAGINA" comments.

Now, speaking as someone who's seen more than her fair share of unintentional pastry p...er... hoo-haws, I think this one's a stretch. (HEYOOOO.) However, I've also learned the internet thinks EVERY geode cake is vag-tastic, so I'm not too surprised.

What did surprise me was the way the baker, Nadia's Cakes, responded:

 

And just like that, I knew I was in for a good comment thread.  

(Quick shout-out to Marcella Gossen for sharing these screenshots!)

Only 50%? Dang, she should hang out with the Cake Wrecks crowd sometime. 


At this point I figured the baker was done. Maybe a little irked, but mostly resigned to her cake's fate and ready to move on to other posts.

BUT NO. 

Instead, she proceeded to have way too much fun with people:

 







Sweet Stay Puft, turning an internet pile-on [snerk] into solid-gold advertising? THIS WOMAN IS A GENIUS.


Tell me some of you wouldn't pay up.



At this point I'm ready to hand over my CW crown, you guys. That or propose.


NEW LIFE PHILOSOPHY.





Nadia Cakes later clarified there WAS no cute mushroom cake - and no plans to make one - which I know was a huge let-down for her followers, but hey, it happens to everyone, it's not a big deal, and maybe the bakery was really cold... or tired.

Anyway, since I happen to have this handy archive of 20,000 cake photos right here in front of me, LET ME HELP:

 I hear they're really fun guys.

(Again, that is NOT a Nadia Cake. It's a CW submission from years ago. I know how these internet rumors can mushroom.)

Is there such a thing as exasperated advertising? Exaspertising?

Again referencing my nearly decade-long experience with far-too realistic fondant pubic hair... she's not wrong.

And finally, while you'd fully expect this cake to have a happy ending (YES I WENT THERE), it does not. No, somehow, incredibly, it didn't sell:



Alas, poor vag-geode cake, we barely knew you.


Right, while we're all regaining our composure, let me introduce you to the literary genius behind Nadia Cakes - and also my new best friend - Abby Jimenez. You should go follow her on Facebook, because it turns out, yes indeedy, she is always that funny:




My love for this women is true.

Abby, I think I speak for all 25,000 of us here when I say:


******

IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS UPDATE:

Abby knows I exist! We're totally new besties now, AND we're forming a gang of awkward introverts who wear (labia) pink on Wednesdays. Also she's in the process of making that mushroom cake after all, and will be sending out unsolicited photos of it very soon. YESSSS.

 

Follow the ongoing saga over on Facebook - and be sure to follow Abby, too, for mildly obscene 'shroom pics. [eyebrow waggle]

39 comments:

  1. Whether she knows it or not, she is, in fact:

    ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

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  2. Welcome her into the fold!! She is amongst her people!!

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  3. She is just too awesome!!! I couldn’t control my outbursts of laughing!!!

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  4. Hahahaha! That’s awesome ­čśé

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  5. Nadia Cakes is awesome. I live in Palmdale, CA (home of the original ;P). If you haven’t, you should check out their Facebook post from Feb 11. They were broken into and handled it with aplomb.

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  6. How was I not aware of this? I *LIVE* in Minneapolis! I may just have to get myself down there and bring up that Epbot brought me! That is way cool, and way too funny! Maybe she’ll be my friend! ;D

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  7. Oh my goodness - this was way too much fun to read! lol Thanks for sharing!

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  8. Did this ever make it to Ellen Degeneres? Hysterical!

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  9. We all want this kind of devotion, may this wonderful woman know she is one of the good ones. Unless she’s selling cake to my husband, and then she’s a Home/Cake wrecker.

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  10. I desperately needed this laugh. I think I've borrowed my spoons for the next three days just to get through today.

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  11. You'll get through this. Your spoons will replenish. Do what you can to take care of yourself. Sending extremely gentle hugs!

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  12. Hee... 'Vageode'

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  13. Am I the only one who is hearing "vageode" in the voice of Sheldon drunk-calling Stephen Hawking?

    Totally needed this one today!
    -Zippy

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  14. I saw one or two of the comments, but I had no idea it went on for that long! Gold. <3

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  15. omg, I had seen this going around on facebook, but didn't realize there had been SO MANY replies from the bakery! Thanks for compiling!

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  16. I saw this on Facebook a few weeks ago and laughed so hard. They certainly win at social media! But you missed the best one, from early on in the saga, where Abby posted: "Just had a routine OBGYN visit. Everything looked good. Zero geodes."

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  17. Vageode- Please tell me this will make it into the Webster's Dictionary!!

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  18. You'd think I'd have learned over the years not to read these things at work.

    Snort.

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  19. OMG Erin, I'm dying here, ROTFLMBO

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  20. I attended one of their cake decorating classes with Abby a year ago, and she is every bit as funny and lively in person! As they say, 10/10 would recommend!

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  21. Omg I just laughed so hard I woke the baby! It’s like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters when EPBOT and Cakewrecks meet!!!! I do have to admit when I saw the photo my first thought was actually ‘if they made that in blue and gluten-free it would be the perfect cake for C’s birthday next month!’ - then I read the article snorting with laughter and said maaaaybe not the right cake for a four year old... (in my defense she does loves rocks and particularly geodes)

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  22. thank you from the bottom of my heart...

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  23. I live 10 minutes from here and they have the best cupcakes! I went after reading this and to my delight they had another pink geode cake on display!

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  24. Oh snap. The moment I saw this post I inwardly squealed with delight. I drive past that store every so often on my way to work and now I want to shake that woman's hand (and buy a non-obscene cake from her at some point :)

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  25. Abby Jimenez just joined Friends of Epbot! The rest of the commenters should join us if you haven't yet. 4500+ cool kids (well actually we're mostly nerdy and crafty) have already.

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  26. Jen,

    Thank you for posting this! I laughed so hard that it got me out of my "poor is me" mindset. Long story - marital issues. Glad you and Abby hit it off. Can't wait to read more of your adventures. She could maybe be a guest judge/commentator for Cake Wrecks?
    Also, you posted about the movie "Mune" last week and I was intrigued. Found a copy and bought it. I think I watched it nine times between Friday night and Sunday afternoon. What a movie! One of the best story lines ever; not to mention the creativity!
    Glad to hear you are doing better this month around. Do you still use the corset and does it still help?

    Maureen

    P.S. It was great to see you in Pittsburgh!

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    1. Hey Maureen! Sorry about the bad stuff, glad you loved Mune! And yes, I still use the corset every month, sometimes only for a day, sometimes for a week - just depends how I'm feeling.

      P.S. It was great seeing YOU in Pittsburgh. <3

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  27. Aww! She's from my hometown! Always go into her shop when I go home. You should see how she handled when someone stole the tires off her delivery truck; she's the best!

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  28. Ha! This is great--although, I did also think immediately "that cake looks like a huge vagina" the first time I saw the picture. I guess I'm one of the pervs!

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  29. Laughter truly is the best medicine. Instead of crying in sadness over the recent passing of my husband, I spent a few minutes crying in laughter over this hysterical post!

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  30. You went there about the Happy Ending. While the cake didn’t sell, I’d say it certainly looks like there was a... oh, never mind. I can’t say that in mixed company.

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  31. Nadia is local for me, so we get her cupcakes all the time. They are amazing. And I had no idea there was so much wit behind the cake. What an amazing woman. Truly, take all my money!

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  32. Thanks for giving my inner immature 12 year old something to giggle about at work XD

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  33. This whole thing had me laughing so hard!
    Can we discuss another serious problem with geode cakes, though? The cake gets carved to make room for the sparkly interior. They take away cake, people! This is a real issue. (Although, my husband would be embarrassed to be seen at the same table with this cake.)

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