Last week I got some new lab results in, and my doctor informed me I have the testosterone levels of a severely testosterone-deficient (or possibly dead) 85-year-old woman.
A few things.
1) There are so many joke potentials here I may actually explode. But apparently in a demure, non-manly, let's-talk-this-out-like-sensible-adults sort of way? I'm a little fuzzy on the details.
2) Speaking of fuzzy, it turns out severely testosterone-deficient (or possibly dead) 85-year-old women still get chin hairs.
3) Which just goes to show there is no justice in the world. I mean, if I have near-zero manliness juju, then why's I still gots to pluck so much, universe? WHY?
(Sorry, guess I have some deep-seated, chin-hair related issues lurking beneath the surface. Really, I'm as surprised as you are. I guess these things just work their way out sometimes. Like chin hairs. Like DAMN FILTHY CHIN HAIRS.)
So now I have to start taking prescription testosterone supplements, which I can only imagine will help SOOO MUCH with my chin-hair-anger issues, not to mention with my sarcasm issues.
On the plus side, I'm told eventually the drugs will make it so I'm not drooling-on-the-couch exhausted for 3 days after every con, and that I'll recover faster and last longer in my meager attempts at exercise. Plus there's some sexy-time benefits, so kids, be sure to ask your folks about those next time there's a lull at the grocery store.
All in all I'm feeling pretty positive, since the labs also revealed some slightly less entertaining - but potentially more beneficial - things we'll be working on, too. It's all part of the plodding, tedious, rarely-rewarding journey toward better health, but every tiny improvement does make it a little easier to take the next step. Which is why you - yes, you right there! - should go see your doctor about that test for that thing this week. Go. Do it. Make the appointment. Take a step.
After all, look at me: I did it, and now in another 6 months or so I could TOTALLY arm-wrestle your 85-year-old grandma. I think. Maybe. That's how this works, right?
Tell you what, let's put a pin in that, while I go pluck this chin hair.
Add the Epbot Button to Your Blog!
Right-click this image to save it, and then hyperlink it to www.Epbot.com on your blog sidebar. Voila! The world becomes a better place.
- ► 2018 (124)
- ► 2017 (139)
- The Knights Who Say Ni - Free Helmet Templates!
- STAND BACK, I'm About To Say Something *Nice* Abou...
- Amazing Mom Gives Her Son The Princess Party He Wa...
- Stranger Things Happened... And Now I'm In Love
- Craftin' Makes Me Feel Good: DIY Holtzmann Necklac...
- July Art Roundup: Dinosaur Swings, "Wicked" Witche...
- The "I Only Hate It Because It's A Reboot" Argumen...
- 'Cuz I'm Feeling Chatty: Post-Con Con Post Thought...
- The Best Cosplay of Florida Supercon 2016, Pt 2!
- BRING IT, GRANDMAS
- The Best Cosplay of Florida SuperCon 2016!
- Awesome Crafts & A New Place To Meet Fellow Epbot ...
- Note To Self: To Remember When You Are Sad
- ▼ July (13)
- ► 2015 (155)
- ► 2014 (150)
- ► 2013 (159)
- ► 2012 (232)
- ► 2011 (187)