John and I live near Renninger's, host of one of the nation's largest antique fairs 3 times a year, and lemme tell ya: Best. Yard sale. EVAH.
The view last weekend.
There are over 100 acres of tables and tents, much of it is under these gorgeous trees, which makes for a nice hike.
See all the chandeliers hanging from the branches?
We mostly go to browse, and occasionally buy cheap steampunky things that catch my eye, but invariably there are a few items so creepy, so hilarious, or so bizarre, that I'm forced to document them.
You know, for posterity.
♫ Veggie veggie fruit fruit! Veggie WE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL ♪
Kinda fell in love with this poster:
If you follow me on Instagram then you already saw this snuggly sleep aid:
John let out a (manly) yelp and backed away so fast I was seriously temped to buy it... but then I remembered I love my husband. ;) John also speculated - once he'd reached a safe distance - that the cottony stuff in the doll's mouth was a massive spider's nest. So, yeah.
Sleep sweet, y'all.
Oh, but wait!
This is where it actually gets DISTURBING:
Her shell lid is in the back, so Turtle Lady is kind of like a trinket box, except instead of trinkets, it holds her butt in crotchless bloomers.
Also she has no feet; just pointy black stumps. For some reason that part weirds me out the most.
Ahh, the good ol' days, am I right? Back when people had MORALITY and VALUES and TURTLE LADY SEX BOXES.
But there's still one more bit of nightmare-fuel-fodder to go - and believe it or not, John wanted to buy this one.
Behold, MR. FACE FEET!
He's very happy to see you.
He had holes in the tops of all his toes, and all over the back side of his head. The dealer told us it's a "smoker," - either for incense or for putting out your cigarettes in.
Cigarettes. Yeah. THAT'S what they were smoking.
Anyway, turns out Mr. Smokey Silent-Screaming Happy Face Feet is rare (THANK GOODNESS) and therefore kind of expensive (SRSLY?), so we didn't buy it (THANK GOODNESS).
Now, as a palate cleanser, here's another thing we didn't buy but would have if it'd been, like, fifty bucks or less:
He's cast metal! Gorgeous, right?
And two more things we DID buy:
An enormous $8 ceramic owl with a hideous paint job...
...and this $3 toy car:
It looks so much like Ron's flying car from Harry Potter that we're going to spruce it up for next year's Potter Christmas tree.
Now, whatever you do, don't think about that doll's head full of spiders.
And have a great day!