Thursday, May 12, 2016

My Scruffy Guardian Angel

Today I had a treadmill stress test at the cardiologist's, and at the last second the technician (a rather gruff ex-parole officer) banned John from the room.

Thing is, John is ALWAYS in the room. Every doctor's visit, every exam, no matter how benign. (There's a traumatic back story for this, but let's not dwell.) Anyway, the exchange happened too fast for me to really assure John I was OK with it, so when I emerged 17 minutes later I found him directly behind the waiting room door - like, I nearly banged into him - positively vibrating with nervous rage.

It took me the whole drive home to convince John I really was fine, since I'm famous for saying I am when I'm not - especially at doctors' offices. Plus the tech had promised we'd only be 10 or 12 minutes, so us going long hadn't helped. "Three more minutes," John said, "And I was going in there."

Believe it or not, John's not inclined to be the over-protective sort at all. It's just something he's learned since the night my panic began 8 years ago, since I've clung to him so many times for strength and for sanity.

Sometimes I see a certain look cross a nurse's faces; a look that wonders if John is really some kind of a brute, and if my dependency hints at something darker. It's a variation of the store clerk's look when John asks questions for me, with me standing right there. The look that says, "Geez, dude, let her talk for herself." 

I want to tell them I don't *want* to talk, that John is my everything who does anything to spare me pain. That this is the gentle giant who moves the stars for me. That I am not weak for stepping back sometimes, and letting him lead me through.

I don't say anything, though; I just smile, and remember how grateful I am that John doesn't care what others see or think. He's my scruffy guardian angel, here to ask how I'm doing during the exam, here to fight and laugh and create with me, here to blame his toots on the cats. ;)

Aha, and now it's tomorrow, my mumble-dy mumth birthday, so check out my birthday card that turns into a robot:

:squee!:

It's from friends I met through Epbot (thanks again, Jen, Jeff, & Emily!), and when I think about how I've met almost all of my closest friends today because of this blog, well, heck, you just don't get a better birthday present than that.

Although John tells me we're going to visit some sloths today, so WE SHALL SEE. 


69 comments:

  1. Ah, Jen, it's wonderful that you have a man who cares so deeply for you that he wants to protect you. However, I'm on the other side of the situation, that of a healthcare worker. While I love to see the devotion of a loved one, it is very important that the patient try to answer the questions themselves, as it helps us to help you. I know it can be frightening, especially if you have social anxiety, but we actually get as much information from HOW you answer questions as we do from what you actually say.

    John, after having protected Jen for so long, it can be hard to set aside some control of a situation like that. The fact that you were fuming when the door opened, is troubling. What kind of message is that sending to Jen?

    Sometimes we want to give the patient our undivided attention, not worry about someone else in the room. Did you ask why you had to leave? It doesn't say in the post. When I ask a spouse to leave the room, there's usually a pretty good reason for it. :)

    Jen, if you found someone who rubbed you the wrong way (a rather gruff ex-parole officer), a simple "I'm finding you rather intimidating" is all that's needed to put someone in their place. I know, hard to do when you're already nervous, but the sooner you learn how to speak for yourself in a medical situation, the better, because the patients who always depend on others for support are often the patients who do the worst when the **** hits the fan. You know I've hung around your blogs for a while now, and I'm usually not one for controversy myself, but I'm asking you to please continue to take some baby steps when in a medical office. It's great that you were able to be in there by yourself for those 17 minutes, and I'm very proud of you for it! Keep it up!

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    1. You make good points. I wouldn't say I was fuming, just very concerned. We were sitting in the waiting room chatting and laughing, the nurse called her name and, like always in this office, I got up to go with her. Then, as we got to the door, she led Jen through and told me that "it was against regulations" for me to go with her. And then she closed the door. Now I know Jen is a very strong person and honestly, I know she can handle herself. She certainly doesn't need me sitting in a chair in an office. But if she wants me there, it's the very least I can do. And especially with her anxiety, it's become my responsibility to make sure she's comfortable and calm. I think we both would have liked a few moments to pause, look at the situation, and move forward. Again, I have no doubt Jen can do a test by herself. What I didn't know was if Jen was comfortable with the situation. It's just about communication and there was very little of it.

      Jen is the strongest, most determined person I have ever met when it comes to her health. Where others would have given up years ago, she fights on. And I like that she chooses to include me so that I can understand what she's going through and help if and when I'm needed.

      It's funny, when I read this post tonight, I told Jen that people were going to think I was an ogre. And here I am at 3:45 am on Jen's birthday answering a comment when I have to wake up in 4 hours to wrap presents. I don't know. All I can do is be Jen's support when she needs me and encourage her every day. Have a nice night.

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    2. I also work in health care, and family members are NOT allowed in. Which is why we stop, say this is as far as you can go, say your good luck, kiss(high five whatever) and the waiting room is over there. Acknowledging the split up is important to both the patient heading into the scary unknown, and the family sitting out there waiting!

      I've been on the other side, my husband was deathly ill last year, and I had to let go many times. But once, I was brought back into radiology with him, the techs in that area were trying to send me out, his nurse from the floor ,said that I was there to keep him calm enough to go into the cat scan, to keep him still long enough for the scans. They brought me an extra lead and didn't make me let go, as sick as he was, he would have been too agitated even with more strong meds, and he was well medicated.
      Exceptions are made, but that moment that you were separated should have been smoother.
      And yay Jen for handling it so well! I've been reading here long enough to know that's HUGE

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    3. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, let me just say this to wildmaven, with all respect for your profession: Mememe is right, the transition could've been smoother, so that John was reassured that Jen was good. And for Jen to be good with going into the test alone, with such a quick transition in an office that had previously welcomed John into visits, is HUGE. I know you're not intending to be patronizing, but your advice to "continue to take baby steps" reads that way to me. And it's incredibly difficult for an anxious person to respond to that rationally and appropriately.
      We all get locked into our routines and expectations, and I suspect that's what happened in the doctor's office: most people don't have a family member accompany them, so the nurse wasn't expecting it, and wasn't prepared to give John & Jen a chance to check in with one another. It's understandable, but it could have had some unpleasant consequences. I'm so happy for Jen and John that it didn't.
      Way to go, Jen! And way to go, John! You guys handled this one with grace under pressure. Waiting nervously outside the door is an entirely appropriate response when you don't know how Jen is feeling, John. You guys are awesome, and amazingly strong, and so generous to share all this with us.

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    4. I seriously doubt any of us would view John as an ogre. We know the story and see him as loving and protective. Of course it will look weird to strangers, but what are you gonna do?

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    5. Open note to health-care professionals: for those of us who are anxious, you need to realize that if you don't see us under whatever circumstances will help us to be comfortable, you may not see us at all. Yeah, I probably should have said something to my gynecologist when he got a new nurse who was as comforting and reassuring as a prison matron, but it was easier just not to go back there for several years. And it's very, very hard to speak up when the problem is that someone is intimidating. (I mean, it's right there in the word -- they make you timid!)

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    6. RevAnne, that was perfect! I wanted to address wildmaven's comment, but I didn't think I could do it diplomatically, so I just didn't do it at all. You did an amazing job. I doubt she knows the whole backstory, and I doubt she suffers from crippling anxiety. I know there are rules and regulations, but there are also exceptions and compassion.

      I also loved what StephanieJ added. Great point!

      KW

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    7. So glad that it worked out okay! My hubby, who has anxiety and usually prefers I talk for him, never wants me to come along to medical appointments. So I am left worrying. I have gone along with my mother, however, when she went to get news about her cancer surgery. Yes, sometimes patients need to see the doctor alone. Sometimes, however, patients are so anxious that they are reassured knowing someone else heard what had been said, could ask questions they didn't think of. My mother had done that for her mother, and it was my turn.

      Also, after seeing a few stories in Canada about doctors who were abusing patients or not giving them proper medical treatment, even if you can't have a non-medical person, you have every right to request other medical personnel be present. I've never done that but a friend of a friend apparently ALWAYS does and she makes a good point, that sometimes it is just about protecting yourself if the medical person you are seeing makes you uncomfortable. So in that transition, perhaps Jen should have been offered someone else being in that room even if Jon wasn't allowed. Many medical personnel are there to help but some are lacking in bedside manner and others abuse their position.

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    8. I developed epilepsy in undergrad. Luckily, I went to the same university as my sister. She was utterly devoted to me, and went with me to any appointments I needed her at. It was a total blessing, since a side effect of many non-convulsants is depression and anxiety. She came to every appointment I ever needed her at, and helped me answer all the questions I nervously forgot the answers to. It was probably easier for me, since my sister is tiny, but she was a HUGE part of my treatment. My dad always called it "kicking the doors in" because of a similar situation he had once with his brother. No one ever told us no (barring the MRIs and CAT scans, which luckily never bothered me) and that was the biggest blessing ever.

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    9. I developed epilepsy in undergrad. Luckily, I went to the same university as my sister. She was utterly devoted to me, and went with me to any appointments I needed her at. It was a total blessing, since a side effect of many non-convulsants is depression and anxiety. She came to every appointment I ever needed her at, and helped me answer all the questions I nervously forgot the answers to. It was probably easier for me, since my sister is tiny, but she was a HUGE part of my treatment. My dad always called it "kicking the doors in" because of a similar situation he had once with his brother. No one ever told us no (barring the MRIs and CAT scans, which luckily never bothered me) and that was the biggest blessing ever.

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    10. John, can I clone you? We need more of you in the world!

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  2. Dangit...who let those onion-cutting ninjas in the room again?!

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  3. John sounds like the best birthday present you can ever get. Happy Birthday and bless you John.

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  4. Jen,

    So sorry the technologist doing your stress test was so so gruff. That isn't how things should have been handled. But as an x-ray tech/interventional radiology tech, I can tell you we rarely let family in our room during procedures. Partly because, as wildmaven noted, we are trying to take care of you as our patient. It isn't always easy to do with extra people in the room and it isn't always easy to work around extra people, even if they are trying to stay out of the way. Also, in my field of IR, we are doing sterile procedures involving needles and catheters. So we don't want to risk our procedures being contaminated, and we don't want family members who might get queasy or lightheaded while we are working.

    That being said, your tech should have been more understanding. Sometimes things are so "normal" to us, we forget how they frighten other people. A good tech should have explained why John wasn't allowed in the room and listened to your concerns. If he really couldn't be in the room they should have talked to you and helped you through it. I can tell you I've spent many procedures just holding someones hand and asking questions to keep their mind off of things.

    I hope if you have to go through that again your experience is better. Its good that you have someone who loves you so much!

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  5. Happy (mumbeldy number) Birthday, Jen!

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  6. Being a feminist and an anxiety sufferer is hard! I wish for a better world when we are more willing to recognize that relying on other people can be healthy. We don't have to do everything ourselves, even when it's hard (I consistently try to tell this to my husband, who, while not very "macho," still has a hard time accepting help when his anxiety makes things hard for him). I'm so glad you have John to rely on!

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  7. Great that he s will to support you in any way you need.
    As for the card, how cool is that. Last year my OH bought me a wall calendar when each month you could cut out the shapes which pieced make the animal in the picture. Now I am going to have to look to see if there is a robot version!

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  8. I think it's great how supportive of you John is! We all need husbands who stand by us like that and can take care of us and support us in the way we need. You are blessed!

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  9. Awww, your story reminded me of my own scruffy guardian. Have a lovely birthday!

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  10. Happy (fill in the blank) of your 21st Birthday! You and John have an awesome relationship.

    Please thank your parents for raising such a great daughter. Your mom has inspired me (and I'm old enough to be your mother) to do an all out Missy Mash-up cos-play for the CONsole Room convention in MN next month.

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  11. And this is why the two of you are my favorite people ever, and maybe one day I'll actually make it to Florida so I can meet you. And introduce my awesome, geeky daughters to you.

    And Happy Birthday! Today is my mumble-dy mumth birthday, too! I'm super jealous that you might be visiting sloths, since all I get to do for my birthday is go to work and clean my house in preparation for weekend visitors. If it happens, you'll share pictures, right? Because then I can have the best birthday ever vicariously through you!

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    1. Happy birthday, Allison! Your birthday has already passed here, but in Portland, it's still the 12th right now. Yay, Portland!

      We need to do a home-exchange. My family would love to see Portland, and you want to come to FL, so let's swap! Of course, I'm super far away from all the Orlando excitement and Jen and John, but, hey, it's still FL.

      KW

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  12. Happy Birthday Jen! ... and many moooore ... (she sang badly)

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  13. You are definitely blessed to have John, and he you! :)

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  14. Shame on the Medical Tech for being gruff as if you KNOW all their rules! Too bad for them if they HAVE to explain them to each and every patient - that is their job. Good for you to have John at your back. Great that you were able to handle this situation. But back to the tech = SHAME on them for not reading your chart which I assume would have a notation about anxiety.

    And have a lovely birthday! Can't wait to see what John has planned for you.
    My two Maine Coons send birthday purrs. Reilly was 12 yesterday and Sprite will be 9ish in June.

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  15. Happy birthday!

    Your post really struck a chord, as my caring partner of 18+ years accompanies me to nearly all medical appointments and we've had a few of these incidents. I find that I can't win on provider assumptions - I've been asked if I really want him there (i.e., he's forcing his presence on me and they're giving me a chance to escape his bullying), and he's been asked if he really wants to be there (because who would actually want to see my pap smear?). In reality, we're in agreement that his presence is reassuring for me and an extra set of eyes, ears, and note-taking hands. But I've had to push to get providers and staff to understand. I understand that there are procedures where it wouldn't be appropriate for him to be with me, but I've mostly had trouble on stupid things (like an OB/Gyn who would let him back if I were pregnant, but not for a routine exam).

    I'm glad you did okay, but I'd suggest sending an email to the Office Manager about the attitude of the staff and the unexpected change in how you were treated.

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  16. Happy birthday Jen! May your day be as wonderful as you are!

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  17. This made me smile (and maybe tear up a bit). Happy birthday, Jen!

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  18. My husband and I have been married 20 years. We were married young, he was 19 and I had just turned 21. We've grown up together and know each other extremely well. I'm shy and I have social anxiety. The other day, he expressed a worry that people think he is controlling or overbearing. I hadn't even realized it but when we are in public and I get uncomfortable, I look at him and he steps up and asks questions or answers for me. It's not about control, he's just trying to help. People who don't understand this stress we feel may take it the wrong way. But our husbands knows us and only want to help any way they can. This is an act of love and shows how close we are. Thank you for sharing this Jen. And thank you John for taking such good care of Jen.

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  19. Happy birthday, Jen! Thank you for always brightening my day with your posts. You are a treasure, and the best is yet to come for you!

    John, you are the example of how great love can be!

    And will that adorable robot card ever be for sale? My guy would LOVE it!

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  20. Happy birthday, Jen! Thank you for always brightening my day with your posts. You are a treasure, and the best is yet to come for you!

    John, you are the example of how great love can be!

    And will that adorable robot card ever be for sale? My guy would LOVE it!

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  21. Happy birthday! Enjoy your sloths!

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  22. We all love John for loving you SO MUCH!

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  23. The two of you are what I aspire to in a relationship someday. The way you always have each other's backs, the way you love each other and relate to each other, etc. You are an inspiration.

    Best wishes to you on your birthday, Jen! Enjoy your sloths! :D

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  24. Happy Birthday Jen!! I am so happy that you have John by your side! (Enjoy the sloths!)

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  25. Wishing you a truly happy birthday, Jen! Glad you've got a scruffy guardian angel!

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  26. Forgive any tear that I spray all over this comment. I'm trying to unwind my own anxiety and your post kind of nailed it for me. Two weeks ago, I had a mammogram and less than 24 hours later, they called and said I needed to be rescreened ASAP. They didn't say "routine" or "don't worry". They said "didn't look right" and "reschedule immediately." I was at work and tried to keep my freak out to a level which is not noticeable in public. When the rescreen happened, I had asked my husband to accompany me because I was scared. When they called me back, he stood up to accompany me and we were curtly informed he couldn't because it was a "women's center and women are in robes." If we had been there for a fetal ultrasound he could have joined me. I turned out to be fine but wanted to vomit when I realized that if they did have to tell me a potential cancer diagnosis that he wouldn't be there to hold my hand. Seriously, the thought of hearing it alone was more frightening then hearing IT. Today, I had to go in for a dental procedure and I had told him I was fine. I never even considered asking him to accompany me. I've avoided the dentist for WAY too long because of anxiety and bad experiences. The dentist today was gentle and understanding but I was in the chair with tears streaming out of my eyes the entire time. They gave me a break halfway through and I did complete the procedure which took 3 hours. I've been home a few hours and writing this is making me cry again. I feel like such a big baby. All I want is for him to get home from work and hug me for a minute. Normally, I'm the one to take the lead socially and he's the quiet one. He's my rock and my stability when I feel things askew. Anyway, know that you're understood not just by John but also by many of us in the wide world. Thank you for writing and sharing. It does help others.

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    1. Hugs, Onhazier! Hope your hubby cuddled the doubts right out of you when he got home. You did great, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

      I'm glad that your mammogram rescreen didn't find anything concerning, and I'm proud of you for making it through a three-hour dental procedure. I would've been crying the whole time, too. Hopefully, you're done with medical appointments for awhile now!

      KW

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    2. Aww, thanks KW! Today is better. Still sore and facing 2 more dental procedures in the coming weeks. They assure me I'm through the worst of it. I may silently spill tears during the next two visits but I'll make it through. And my husband was right there with the love and support I needed.

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    3. Big hugs to you!

      My hubby also hates dentists. In fact, I forced him to go to the dentist finally, my dentist. We explained that he has anxiety. We now always schedule our appointments at the same time. We joke that it's so I can make sure he comes but... it sort of is. And he knows I'm there. I can hear him talking to the dentist from my chair. Also, the dentist and techs know he has anxiety and are super awesome about dealing with him accordingly. It can be hard to admit, but it's totally good to tell healthcare professionals about it. Because sometimes there are things they can do. :) (oddly, I'm not invited to any other medical appointments, even if I ask.)

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  27. Jen, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

    I'm sorry your experience wasn't entirely a positive one, and that John's wasn't either. I do know that there are often good reasons for seeing a patient alone, but it should have been handled better and exceptions can and should be made for people who need them.

    I hope you and your rainbow shoes have an excellent birthday. Happy Birthday, Jen!

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  28. Happy birthday, Jen! I just love you and your relationship with John. Warms my crabby old heart <3 Thanks for giving us these little glimpses into your life and your relationship.

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  29. Happy Birthday, Jen! John is awesome and so are you and I hope you have a wonderful time with the sloths.

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  30. I live in Canada and here if you go to emergency they will not let your partner back with you until they have had a moment alone to ask "are you being abused at home". While I appreciate this and think it is a great service they are offering to allow someone a chance to get out of a sticky situation it makes my life hell.

    I go to emerge a lot. I am also usually at my limit when I do, I have fought this battle for most of my life and I never go for help until I really need it but this means I am really needing my rock there by that point.

    So my husband and I have become clever, I leave a list of all my medical information and medications in my purse which I then leave with my husband, since I can't get around them insisting that I go back alone while they do intake I FORCE them to call the hubby in so he can answer questions and present the list. It has worked every time since they started this new system.

    When I am not well I don't have the energy to expend on answering questions and have often let my husband do it for me. I've told doctors to always visit me at the END of their rounds so we can be sure my husband is there with me. It is easy to get turned around and confused and ask or not ask the right questions that it is vital to have someone at your side who is ON your side.

    I love that I can relate so easily to your situation even though we have no similarities in medical issues, but in the end we both handle things in the same way. I am glad you have your rock. I would be lost without mine.

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    1. That's a brilliant work-around! Glad you guys thought of that, and glad it has worked out so well for you. I'll keep it in mind for any time I need it. Thanks for sharing your solution with us!

      KW

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  31. Happy birthday Jen! Sloths?? Squeeee! Love them. And I love how wonderful you and John are. Have a great special day.

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  32. Happy birthday, Jen! Thank you for making my world brighter -- and thanks to John for taking good care of you so you can do that!

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  33. Happy Birthday, fellow Taurus!

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  34. Happy Falker S-irthday, Jen! :-D

    And John, most of us here have read the blog. You are not an ogre, unless it's the loveable kind like Shrek. We listen to Jen, we know you're super cool. Keep up the good work!

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  35. Sooooooo glad I didn't go into the medical field. When I evaluate kids it's standard procedure to make them feel comfortable. If that means they need a family member with them, or someone's lap to sit in (sometimes MY lap) I can go with the flow. Having really excellent toys helps too. I bet you wouldn't have been nervous if you'd been able to play with my fairy princess sticker book, Jen! No sloths, but it has a giant snail and mushroom houses.

    Happy Birthday!

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  36. Happy birthday, Jen! (I'm a long-time reader and sporadic commenter.)

    In regards to your medical experience; I know my male partner sometimes gets upsetted when he thinks that my doctors might suspect him or hurting me. A little backstory here: I have a blood clotting disorder and take daily blood thinner, PLUS I am chronically clumsy, which is a bad combo! Three years ago I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs and shattered my wrist. My male partner was *sure* that my doctors thought he had done it. A couple weeks ago I stupidly gave myself a black eye by falling asleep while leaning against one of the railings/poles at the end of the row of seats (google NYC subway cars for an example of what I mean). The subway car jerked and stopped suddenly and I *really* whacked the heck out of my face! My male partner has been kind-of-not joking since then that my doctors and all my co-workers must think that he is hitting me, which I don't even have to say has NEVER been the case. In brief, I can empathize with John's distress because my guy feels it as well.

    However, I'd say that, even given the rules regarding medical professionals and treatment, I think any good doctor can tell the difference between abuse and other kinds of injury or the simple need to have someone present to support you. While my male partner was convinced that everyone thought he broke my wrist a few years ago, I could tell that none of my doctors entertained that idea for even a second. While he couldn't be in the operating room during the operation to fix my wrist (for obvious reasons), the hospital let my guy be with me until pretty much the moment I went in and he was waiting for me in recovery when I woke up. I agree with everyone else who has said that you might want to report this technician for unprofessional behaviour. Neither you nor John should have to deal with someone being oppositional.

    PS: post about the sloths soon, plz? ;)

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  37. Happy, happy Birthday, Jen!!!!!!

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  38. Happy 29th Birthday Jen!! :) I told my mom she was 29.95 plus shipping and handling and she thought that was perfect.

    SLOTHS!! I want to come with!! I got to see one up close, 2 feet away, when his handler was bringing him out for a talk. Coolest thing ever. Not sure why, but they are just so darned cute.

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  39. Yes! I definitely bring my husband to all of my DR appointments. For one thing, he helps me remember what the doc said, and for another, he helps me remember to tell things to the doc! A lot of times those appointments go so fast, with so much information, and (sometimes) earth-shaking news, that it really helps to have a buddy.

    And happy birthday!!

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  40. Happy Belated, Jen.

    I understand where you are coming from with the doctors, as with everyone here. But I honestly prefer to go alone. I've always gone alone. Dentists, doctors, psychiatrists, stitches, surgeries, always alone.

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  41. Darn it! I missed it.
    Happy Belated Birthday, Jen!
    That John is a pretty great guy. I'm so glad that you have someone in your life that you can lean on when you feel unsteady. It sucks that he couldn't be there with you, but I'm happy that you didn't "need" him to be. You did just fine!! As nerve-wrecking as it is to be suddenly told something you've always done is changing, and the possibilities of 'what-ifs' are endless, you got through it. One more milestone.
    I'm kind of glad (glad isn't the correct word) John wasn't allowed back. 'Cuz if he had been, this blog post would've been different. Your day would've been different. The reactions would've been different, and you would've had yet another "what-if".

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    1. I forgot to sign off. :)
      --Piper P from Washington State

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  42. Nappy BLOB BLOB!!! I hope you have the BEST of days!!!!

    Hugs and Love!!
    -Alyssa

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  43. Happiest of happy birthdays! I hope sloths happened. They are happy making.
    - Angie

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  44. That is beautiful. My husband would do that for me too. We are so lucky.

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  45. Happy birthday, Jen! I wish you the best - including sloths, of course, because sloths are awesome - this year and all the years to come. You and John make a wonderful team, and each time you write, I'm glad to be able to share in your experiences vicariously.

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  46. Hope you had a wonderful birthday, Jen.

    I can't imagine anyone seeing anything other than "awesome husband" in John, but I guess it helps I've been reading about your lives together for years here. I certainly appreciated when he went to track down my misplaced husband at Epcot when actually I was starting to panic myself! You both rock!

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  47. Nappy belated blob blob, Jen!

    I speak through my husband often. Since he is such a sweet guy (and it is a huge comfort to me), it never really crossed my mind that other people might get the wrong idea about him talking for me. It is so rare when I voluntarily talk to strangers, that it was cause for celebration once when I took it upon myself to point out where the sloth (yay, sloth!) was to a stranger at our zoo. I had the biggest smile on my face after that.

    I do often wonder if people think that my husband isn't a gentleman because most of the time I have him enter a building before me. He will always open a door for me, then check to see how I'm feeling at the time and enter first if needed. Of course, I think this makes him more of a gentleman.

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  48. Congrats on your birthday and for getting through the test by yourself! All the posters above have already said all the wonderful things I wanted to say.


    BTW, where did your friends get that incredible birthday card? I found a similar 'thank you' card at angry robot, but they don't seem to have the matching birthday card.
    http://www.giantrobot.com/products/play-deco-3d-robot-greeting-card-thank-you

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