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If You Have Coulrophobia Go Ahead And Skip This One

Friday, May 18, 2012

First, let me apologize:

I'm very, very sorry.

Now let me to explain the thing I'm apologizing for:

It's...well, it's what we found in an old arcade on my birthday last weekend. More specifically, it's the fact that I'm about to show you PICTURES of the thing we found in an old arcade on my birthday last weekend.

[deep breath]

Ok, here goes.

Meet Stinky:

...the Clown.

(Oh. Maybe I should have said something about not scrolling down here if you have a fear of clowns. Heh. Whoopsie!)

Stinky was way in the back of the arcade, past all the kiddie games and claw machines, and from a distance I honestly couldn't tell if he was a real person or not.

When we got closer, we were treated to this nightmare-fueling view:
Oh, but wait: it gets worse.

(You, uh, may want to scroll quickly past this next one:)


This photo is blurry because:

A) I couldn't look directly at him
B) my hands were shaking from laughing (that's my story and I'm sticking to it), and
C) Stinky chose this exact moment TO START MOVING.

You know, I'm not sure these photos truly capture the full "Stinky experience."

So let's try a little video!



You can hear his high pitched laugh around the five second mark. I'm honestly not sure if this is *supposed* to be scary or not...but it is. It really, really is. And speaking as someone who used to be a clown - yes, with the face paint and everything - I'd like to go on record as saying THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE CLOWNS. 

Well, this and Stephen King.

Posted by Jen at 10:12 AM Labels: ,

66 comments:

  1. Horrific. They all float down here!

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  2. wow, the face is so lifelife, rotten teeth and all

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  3. Those eyes... those TEETH! That is not a happy grin, that is a terrifying grimace of pure evil!! AAAAAAACCCCKKKKK!! I'd go hide under hte covers, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't save me.
    Can't sleep; clowns will eat me!

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    1. Oh, I have a pillow case with "Can't sleep clowns will eat me" printed allllll over it.

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  4. I was not afraid of clowns... till today.... so yeah. Thanks for that ;)

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  5. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I'm not scared of clowns, but that one is CREEPY!!!! You sure he's not real? Or a dead body preserved by the arcade owner and painted up as a clown to hide his murderous act?

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    1. Glad I'm not the only one that thought of that!!

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  6. WHAT. THE. HEY?!?!
    that thing is just wrong...and so life like and freaky and *shudders* nightmarish.

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  7. Yuppers -- that is a scary clown, all right! What kind of demented designer came up with those movements? Not to mention the truly demented designer who came up with that face! **SHUDDER** No wonder they stuck it wwwaaaaayyyyy in the back.

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  8. At least I'm not along in the "I used to be a clown" category. I am still admired for my balloon animals. But I never did the whole face paint thing. I used to work in the lobby of the movie theater. The one time I did face paint, the manager told me to never. do. that. again.

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  9. This SO reminds me of Dr. Rockso, from Metalocolypse!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaQHKQbXal0

    Gaze in horror...

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  10. So wait... was he a real person? i still can't tell! The photos make him look real but the movements in the video are so anamatronic... which is it?!

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  11. If anyone didn't have coulrophobia before, they totally do now. Creeptastic job, Mr. Creepy McCreeperson!

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  12. And now I'll have awful nightmares!

    The only time I've gone through a haunted house I was chased the whole way by a similar looking clown, only it was a mask ((shudders)).

    E

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  13. AHHHH. His face looks so real from the photos. That is terrifying.

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  14. That is hilarious and creepy! Please tell me where this is so I can avoid at all costs! I live in Orlando too.

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  15. I took a chance and watched your video, and my 3-year-old son ran away yelling, "turn off that video! I don't like that video!" Apparently he is not a fan of clowns. Gee, I wonder why.

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  16. I am so freakin' glad I read this in the morning with sun and birds chirping outside my window. *shudder*

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  17. Holy crap. He looks so real in the pictures. I had to watch the video just to see if he was real.

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  18. Oh dear. That is one creepy clown. I was trying to read the post and kept having to cover the pictures with my hands to read. *shudders* I'm not even really bothered by them, but yeesh.

    We have a statue here in town that is called the Laughing Lady that was once a part of a local amusement park/kids area. She now resides at one of the best little restaurants in town and is still right up front for everyone who walks in to see. She's creepy, but this clown is wayyy more of a creeper than her!

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  19. LeighAnnApanitesMay 18, 2012 at 1:07 PM

    Oh my goodness! It wasn't until I watched the video that I could tell it wasn't a real person. I'm not generally afraid of clowns, but that thing is TERRIFYING!

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  20. Why did I watch the video? I'm scared enough of them already (yup, thanks Mr.King) now I have that to contend with! Is it a person? The mouth freaks me out more than anything else....we all float down here.....

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  21. I'm both horrified (the aforementioned coulrophobia) and intrigued. It STILL looks like a real person the closer you get. Are you sure it wasn't really a creepy guy waiting for you to get closer so he could snatch you??

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  22. As someone who is not afraid of clowns in the slightest, let me just say "Ahhhh!!!!!!! Get it away!" That is horrifying!

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  23. What the what?? So, are you paying to throw balls at him, or just to see him move and terrify the townspeople?

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  24. That face looks so real. It reminds me of a Pretender episode where they are in a warehouse full of clowns and in the last moment you see Jarod dressed up to look just like the other dolls.

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  25. Yeah, that thing's definitely demon possessed.

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  26. Well, if I wasn't afraid of clowns before, I am now...

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  27. the rat still scares me more!

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  28. WTF, Jen! I thought we were friends. Now I have to sleep with the bathroom light on.

    Sheesh.

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  29. OMG! Are you sure that wasn't a real person strapped to the seat and sedated? Crap. That scared the daylights out of me. And I still think he's alive even after seeing him move. *shudders violently*

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  30. And so WHAT is the point of that arcade attraction. You put in quarters and he scares you? Is there some kind of game you play here? Do you just give him quarters so he won't kill you???

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  31. This has got to be meant to be scary. Seriously. Otherwise it would look more like Ronald McDonald, which is one of the few clowns that don't terrify me. And it wouldn't have creepy dirty looking teeth.

    Ugh... I hate clowns so much. My mom blames me watching Killer Klowns from Outer Space as a kid, but I really think it was IT.

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  32. They certainly built a very elaborate cage in which to restrain him. Are you sure that's all he does?

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  33. OMG I thought it was going to be a real guy cause of the eyebrow...I bet he used to be a real guy and someone he knew is a taxidermist.

    I am not usually afraid of clowns, but I agree with Jill, They all float down here!

    EEEK

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  34. Jen. I hate you for this. This... this.... MONSTER will give me nightmares for the REST OF THE WEEK/MONTH/MY LIFE

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  35. Yes, please tell where this is so I can avoid at all costs as I too live in Orlando area! I was never particularly fond of clowns but that one is terrifying. My husband wouldn't even look at it after hearing my gasp of horror (he thought I was dying or something, lol!). He's uber creeped out by clowns already. Not adding to the nightmare fuel!

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  36. Ha ha! Wow! That clown arcade game looks like something out of the fantastic Nickelodeon show "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

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  37. Yeeeeeeesh.
    That reminds me. This one night I was going to the art store in a strip mall and had to pass a store that was almost empty and dark. Almost because a couple lights were on... highlighting a single rolled up old carpet and the top half of a creepy clown (on a stand). I think the store was previously a real estate place or travel agency.

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  38. Ekio, I wonder if you have one of the same animatronic amusement park figures like we have at the Santa Cruz, CA Boardwalk--Laffing Sal.

    She totally gives me the willies.

    one more

    Although the one thing I like about her is the laugh. There is a sign talking about it at the display, about how there was this real woman and that was her real laugh--if you close your eyes and listen, it's a great laugh. But with your eyes open, and Sal flailing at you, it's a terrible laugh.

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  39. I still can't tell whether or not he's real! And that's only half because I really can't look at him for longer than half a second. Eep!

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  40. Gosh. I'm not even scared of clowns and that creeped me out.

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  41. ....I'm not going to watch that video because I really don't need to be afraid of clowns. *shiver* just that picture makes me creeped out

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  42. Wait... so he's not real? From the pictures, I definitely would have said REAL PERSON. Regardless, you've provided nightmare fuel for the foreseeable future. Thanks!

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  43. Oh my. That's a very lifelike looking clown. O_O I want to say "kudos" to whoever crafted it, but with how terrifying it is, I'm not sure that's appropriate.

    And now I remember why I loathe animatronics.

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  44. Stinky is located in Old Town, a little tourist shop area down here in Kissimmee. It's about 10 minutes away from Disney, in case any of you would like to visit him on your next family vacation. :D

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  45. wow, that is incredibly life-like.

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  46. Holy crap. I love Stephen King and Dean Koontz, but that clown would have me running in horror. I wouldn't say that I'm afraid of clowns, exactly, but I do have a deep aversion to them, especially those with thick facepaint. And rotten teeth. And high-pitched, evil-sounding laughter. And whose clown name is "Stinky"--I don't want to know the origins of that, really.

    Whatever you do, Jen and John, don't get stuck in that arcade after closing, because I'm certain that Stinky comes to life, crawls out of his cage, and wanders the aisles looking for victims who are unlucky enough to get locked in. I think I need to go dig out a nightlight for my room now.

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  47. What the What? OMG! That's horrid!

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  48. OH MY GOD That was HILARIOUS!!

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  49. Holy F that's terrifying. I have my back indented into the couch as far as possible right now. Ps if you really want scar the s#!t out of someone find an old wind up block clown and tangle some thread in its winding gear. It's head will do 360's while playing its song freakishly fast. I may or may not have peed myself the day I came across One of those

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  50. Kill it KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!! Oh that is horrible. That is totally why we can't have nice clowns.

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  51. AHHHHHHHHHHH! *breath* AHHHHHHH!

    Okay, thanks Jen for reaffirming my Coulrophobia! And people wonder why I have it? LOOK AT HIS FACE! *shudder* Great, now THAT will be in my nightmares now...

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  52. We also have a clown named Laughing Sal near me. She's at the Lifesaving Museum in Ocean City, MD. She apparently used to be part of an attraction on the old boardwalk. I don't even like going up to the second floor of the museum where she is. Luckily it's easy to avoid the room she's in, however you can hear her laughing throughout a lot of the place.

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  53. I have this painting of a clown that my grandfather painted. It's got this creepy property to it that makes the eyes follow you where ever you go. When I was a kid, it would terrify me. I thought that it would leap out of the painting to get me. Since my grandfather passed away, though, it has morphed into an object of great sentimental value. My wife, however, has forbidden me from hanging it up anywhere in the house.

    Maybe if I show her this, the clown painting won't seem as scary by comparison? Nah, probably not.

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  54. I so want to send this to my brother, he hates clowns with a passion even friendly looking ones, but if I do, I will be disowned, but the temptation to send it is almost overwhelming, but I will lose him as a brother, he won't talk to me ever again.
    Ohhhh dear, am fighting myself not to send, yes send, no don't, yes do, ohhhh noooooooo, quick straightjacket needed, Now!!!!!!!

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  55. Weeeeellllllll, crap. I have read ALL the comments saying that it's scary, but the little tiny voice in the back of my head is calling out, "Watch the video. Nightmares? Naahh! You won't have nightmares. Waa-aatch it. WAA-AAATCH!"

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  56. But... I like it. I don't care what everyone else says.

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  57. sendingtheclowns=^-.-^=August 7, 2013 at 11:09 AM

    WHAT a bunch of...((BE nice!!))

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  58. sendingtheclowns=^-.-^=August 7, 2013 at 12:07 PM

    Clowns don't scare me a whit; they never have. I just can't stand the things! Most of them are downright ugly/stupid-looking. Especially Ronnie MacICK! However, I wore a clown suit to my best friend's wedding, because I told her I was going to, and she bet me that I wouldn't dare. It's one piece, baggy, lightweight cotton(spring green w/tiny white polka dots),ruffles at wrists and ankles and an orange collar/necktie" thingy. I love it and wish that I had more occasions for it...sort of.
    =^~.~^=

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  59. "Stinky was way in the back of the arcade, past all the kiddie games and claw machines..."

    Yes, all by himself. Just like Zoltar. AAAAGHHHHHH!!!!!

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