Saturday, May 7, 2011
Who missed me? Huh? C'mon, ya big lugs, I know it was you!
Before I detail the many, many adventures I suffered during my four-night Caribbean cruise (I was attacked by a flamingo. I kid thee not.), I want to share some quick and easy, down and dirty suit mods that I came up with before said cruise.
Now, as anyone with a uterus knows, shopping for a bathing suit sucks. S-U-C-K-S. Suh-Ux. Sucks. And, as anyone blessed with moderately large-ish metaphorical tracts of lands knows, finding an inexpensive suit that won't have you metaphorically hangin' ten (two?) is nearly impossible.
Cute, right? The problem, however, lay with that circular cut-out. If you've ever worn a tube top or bandeau, you know how the middle tends to, um, hover a bit. Well, this one hovered a lot, becoming a veritable port-hole into the infamous land of the dreaded side boob.
See? Ridiculously easy. The removable strap was the perfect length for a halter strap through the circle. I attached the two ends together like this:
...but for a permanent fix you could also break off one plastic clip and hook the remaining one through the fabric loop left behind. This was fine on my neck, though, so I left both on.
And the best part? No more porthole! The strap kept the circle down and provided much better support.
I thought that was the end of my suit-shopping, but the day before we left I spotted an ok-looking halter design at Wal-Mart - and at only $10, I couldn't pass it up:
However, it had a similar problem: the cut was just too low for comfort. So, I whipped out my Crop-A-Dile (a grommet-setting tool one of you readers told me about) and...
The cord was the handle off an old gift bag, and I already had the copper grommets (although silver would have looked much better), so the fix didn't cost me a penny. The grommets held fast, too; after a day at the beach there wasn't a single pucker or pull. Success!
Well, I hope this helps inspire some of my fellow land owners out there to go ahead and modify a cheaper suit to save a little money - and also to have a little fun in the process. :)
Now, stay tuned for...[dun dun DUUUUMM] "When Flamingos...ATTACK."
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