THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SHOES IN THE WORLD

Last night I went to Walmart with John for flip-flops, because that's what you we do at 11:30 on a Thursday night.

All the women's flip-flops were either ugly or rock hard, though, so I wandered into the kids' section. My wee hobbit feet can fit both boys' and girls' sizes, though I find little boys' shoes are wider and generally more comfy. That's when I saw them. Waaay down on the bottom rack, gleaming in the heavenly light of the shuttered layaway counter: the most beautiful shoes in the world.

"JOHN." I hissed. "JOHN. LOOK AT THOSE SHOES."

John looked, and immediately said, "Oh, you have to buy those."

"Right?" I was already clutching them to my chest. "Arg, they're a size too small. And they're the last pair! Noooo!"


"It's OK, I'm sure another store will have them. We can go check after this, if you like. Jen. Jen, it's fine. We can...  are you OK?"

My yelp of pain became a hoot of triumph. "IT FITS!!"

"That... looks too small."

"It's so beautiful."

"Babe, I'm sure another store will have the next size. Just take that off and... now what are you doing? Are you even listening?"

I had my phone out, and was twisting my leg around in front of me. "How do people take good pictures of their feet, anyway?"

At this point John sighed and wandered off, but many cellphone pictures later he made me take off THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SHOE IN THE WORLD so we could go home. And since it was late, we didn't check another store. So I still don't own a pair... yet. But I will. Oh yes.... I WILL.

PICTURE TIME!!

BEHOLD THE GLITTERY GLORY.

(And see? It totally fit. Just not, um, comfortably.)

Trying to get both shoes in frame:

They're different colors!

(How DO people take good pictures of their feet?)

After John made me take the shoe off I did another photo sesh - accompanied by lots of cooing.

"Who's the prettiest widdle shoe in the whole wide world? IT'S YOU."

"Jen, please..."

"JUST A FEW MORE PICTURES."

"..."

"And maybe a hug."

 Now I'm off to find these in a size 4.

Btw, it looks like the OP girls' sneakers go up to a girls' size 6, which should easily fit those of you who wear a women's 7 or even 7.5, considering I wear a women's size 6 and fit a girls' 4. (These were a size 3.)

Now, who wants to raid the kids' shoe section with me?!

****

UPDATE: We found my size. I repeat, we found my size.

GLITTERY RAINBOWS FOR EVERYONE!!
  

 *****

PS - Thanks again for being awesome, guys. A few days ago I shared on FB that I'd been struggling with inexplicable dizzy spells - which of course sparked ALL the anxiety attacks - and once again this community stepped up and offered suggestions and encouragement and just generally made me feel sane again. So thank you. 

It's looking like my sinuses were/are the culprit after all, since I started getting some ear pain the very next day. I've been taking the appropriate meds, drinking lots of water, etc, and the world is gradually getting less wibbly-wobbly, so no need to worry. Clearly all I need now is some magic glitter shoes.

Undertale: The 8-Bit RPG To Make You Laugh, Think, Feel

About a month ago one of you suggested I play Undertale, an 8-bit indie game billing itself as "The RPG where you don't have to destroy anyone." I was immediately intrigued. And once I logged on to Steam and saw the overwhelmingly positive reviews - plus the low $10 price tag - I was sold.

You may have seen some Undertale fan art or cosplay around the web, since this little game has already taken parts of the geek community by storm. So even if you don't plan on playing, here are a few non-spoilery reasons I've learned it's so great:

- It's funny.

This is my #1 reason for why you *should* play Undertale, and my chief take-away from my time with it. Most video games suffer from clunky, over-long dialog and convoluted storylines. By contrast, Undertale keeps it relatively short, weird, and laugh-out-loud funny.

I'm a humor writer, so it takes a LOT to pry a laugh out of me, but Undertale's unexpected twists, groan-worthy puns, and gleeful sense of humor kept me chuckling through much of the journey.

 - It's short.

I finished the whole game in 3 nights (at maybe 3 hours each), so Undertale doesn't require a huge time commitment. There's a lot of exploring, though, so you could easily spend more (or less) time in the game.

- It's almost completely non-violent

Almost every battle can be won without fighting, and let me tell you, the non-fighting options are the best part. You can flirt, pet, mimic, or compliment your opponents - often with hilarious results - and those options change with every new baddie you encounter.

This aspect can be a *little* frustrating, since the bad guys are still attacking you, and it takes trial-and-error to figure out which non-violent approach will work for each enemy. But hey, just because the game doesn't require killing doesn't mean it should be easy, right?

On the few occasions when you do have to fight, from what I can tell there is always a "mercy" option after you've knocked their HP down a ways. Be careful, though; I accidentally killed a character very early on, and that messes up the whole storyline and the "pacifist" ending. So try not to kill anyone.

Which reminds me: the mini-games inside the "fights" get surprisingly hard. On some of the boss encounters John and I took turns playing (and losing) over and over. So prepare to die a LOT. Heh.

- It's different.

And in the world of video games, that's huge. It's refreshing to see something this creative, and completely gratifying to watch so many fans embracing it.

 via

The gaming industry as a whole WILL take note of these successes, so remember to vote for what you want to see in gaming with your wallets.


I'll end by saying if you don't choose the pacifist route through Undertale (even by accident, like me), then you're guaranteed to feel like crap by the ending. (If I'd known this at the time, I would have re-started the game immediately after I killed that character.) I won't go into details, suffice to say Undertale is a lovely, heart-felt game that makes you want to solve things peacefully, so by the time you get to the end, you really don't want to fight!

I have to believe this is intentional on the creators' part, and it's admirable, but that doesn't make the non-pacifist ending(s) any easier to swallow as a player. I FELT things, you guys. Unpleasant, singing Behind Blue Eyes to myself feelings.

So next time - since I strongly suspect there will BE a next time - I'll be sure to play much more carefully, and not kill anyone. :D


OK, guys, your turn: have you played Undertale? What'd you think? Share in the comments, but do try to keep it spoiler-free for everyone else, k?