A few weeks ago John and I thought we'd found the most high-class Valentine plush one could ever ask for at one's local Big Lots:
A pole dancing pink leopard.
("Beware Of The Leopard" comes to mind...)
BUT THEN....
We found this:
My favorite part is the dead-eyed stare.
And I think I sprained something holding in my laughter for the entire 30 seconds it took to film this. Do I get some kind of wounded-in-action medal for that? (Or would it be, "wounded in the line of.... DOODY?" Heyooooo)
In the end [snerk] we skipped Sir-Twerks-A-Lot and instead bought this robot for my mom:
It's no bear butt, of course, but c'mon. SO CUTE.
Happy Valentines Day, everyone!
*****
P.S. - Wait, wait, WAIT. YOU GUYS. I just realized the leopard has a push button, AND I DIDN'T PUSH IT. So if any of you get her as a gift today, PLEASE, upload a video of her in action. I have to know how much better/worse this gets. Kthxbai.)
******
REALLY IMPORTANT UPDATE:
we now have video:
******
REALLY IMPORTANT UPDATE:
we now have video:
"You had me at "twerking bear butt."" I think tom cruise said that. Just think. An engineer designed that, got it through several corporate boards, manufactured probably somewhere where its meaning is completely lost, and then delivered for display and purchase. If that's not a Valentine's day miracle, then I don't know what is. Thank you, Jen. Just knowing it exists makes life a little brighter.
ReplyDeleteA Valentine's Day miracle indeed. All we need now is a Hallmark movie to preserve it so we can watch every year.
DeleteI'm almost tempted to go to Big Lots myself.
I'd call it being wounded in the line of BOOTY! :)
ReplyDeleteHappy VD!
-Zippy
Dang it! That's the joke that I wanted to make, but I was too darned late! *kicks at rug, pouts*
DeleteJen, I'm currently trying to get rid of a lot of our Stuff, so we absolutely do not need a silly twerking bear, but I am fascinated by it and trying so hard to come up with a valid reason for getting one. Nope, not working. But it's so ... so ... twerky!
I'm very tempted to hit up the local Big Lots and see if they have pole-dancing pink leopards in stock, because now I'm immensely curious.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone else think it looks like the robot keeps trying to hide behind the leopard? It's a shy love-bot! So cute.
That is what I thought. Or else he was just trying to get a better look from another angle.
DeleteNo, no, no. He's shy, trying to hide.
You had my curiosity piqued so I searched for a video and, lo and behold, found a video of the leopard:
ReplyDeletehttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EVFJEz6Cac4
Twerky the Bear still wins the ridiculousness award (and the bot for cuteness), but her little shimmy toward the end of the routine is pretty hilarious!
How did you find this? I did a google search and just came up with a lot of naughty stuff. And of course the ads on my laptop will be questionable for awhile. (Yay.) Not worth it for me. Wish I would have read the comments first.
DeleteYou sir, are a true hero!
ReplyDeleteApparently though tweaking isn't just for Valentine's Day. Santa and his friends like to tweak too. href=https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=C_EkZFB1sxU
ReplyDeleteThe Easter Bunny should be tweaking soon at a store near you!
Coming soon tweaking Easter Bunny and sterling Leprechaun for St Patrick's Day!
I'm sorry, I have to reply - it's tweRking. Tweaking is something entirely different.
Deletemy Valentine's day is complete, and it's not even 10am ! bahahaha
ReplyDeleteI was showing the video of the bear to my husband and I swear it looks like the tag is a piece of toilet paper hanging off the Bear's butt. Give a whole new level of eeeewwww to the experience!
ReplyDeleteYeah I also thought the tag looked like toilet paper hanging off it's butt...eeeeewwww indeed!
ReplyDeleteWe actually dance to that song in my Zumba class! I also agree that the tag toilet paper was one of the first things I thought of when I saw it. Poor placement there.
ReplyDeleteYou tube saves the day! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sKLmSkTiDUk
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you. As soon as I saw the pole dancer I knew she had to dance and when Jen and John didn't have a video of it...well, lets just say my life would be incomplete without knowing what sort of dance and music she had. Thank you for finding and posting it.
DeleteDoes the robot remind anyone else of Dr. Zoidberg?
ReplyDeleteDo you mean Bender? Dr. Zoidberg is the crab-kinda-guy.
DeleteIt's a sign of how far the economy has fallen when the illicit love child of Chester Cheetah and The Pink Panther has to dance her way through med school just like the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteAs mentioned in the Mandrake post, I have a relatively high tolerance for creepy stuffed things. But Twerky the Bear just took it too far. Now, I'm sort of disturbed (more disturbed that I already am).
ReplyDeleteJen,
ReplyDeleteI just LOVE reading your blog. You lighten my day constantly! Happy Valentine's Day!
Maureen
P.S. It was great to see you in Pittsburgh!
Oh, Big Lots! Years ago I had a dog food emergency and ended up buying a few cans of dog food there that had exactly one ingredient: beaver meat. It made my dog violently ill and I will always think of them as The Beaver Meat Place (well, that and Pick n'Save). Your videos do nothing to disprove this opinion. >:D
ReplyDeleteThe dancing bear and the pink leopard give Miley Cyrus a run for her money. Kinda makes you wonder what else corporate America will come up with to sell for the next holiday?
ReplyDeleteWow, those are all kinds of wrong, except the robot - he's pretty fabulous =)
ReplyDeleteWhat the... what... WHAT. I have no other words.
ReplyDeleteDude, gross! And I think that robot is kind of terrifying.
ReplyDeleteThe robot wasn't bad but the bear and leopard.....truly horrifying! I really wonder what possesses people to make such things.
ReplyDeleteO...M...G... I'm dying! I thought the bear was bad but that leopard is just pure gold. Solid Gold! *jazz hands*
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I'm somewhat jealous. We don't have tweaking Bears, or stripper leopards here. You Americans get all the best stuff
ReplyDelete*twerking, not tweaking. Stupid autocorrect
DeleteOh Jen, you find such funny stuff. However, I had finally purged my brain of twerking images, and now you've firmly planted them once again - sigh. It's all good, though.
ReplyDelete@Toad White: You win the internet for your comment about the pole-dancing leopard! Love child, indeed...
My "new" New Years Resolution - Start every day by watching the dancing robot.
ReplyDeleteOh god. I'm dying. Why did you do this to me Jen? I need to live to get to work! I have a lunch date with a friend. I'm too young to die...
ReplyDeleteHow have I watched this bear 5 times already...with no sign of stopping??
ReplyDeleteI didn't see any of these at my Big Lots! I feel cheated!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh god. I'm dying. Why did you do this to me Jen? I need to live to get to work! I have a lunch date with a friend. I'm too young to die...
ReplyDeleteOh!! I want the twerking bear!! I don't care how creepy that sounds.
ReplyDeleteYou have the best commenters. I knew if I checked back someone would send you a vid of that bizzarro pink pole-dancing valentine... thingummy.
ReplyDeletePretty sure that song it's playing is "The Stripper." Why do I know that song? Because my high school marching band played it, obviously. Nothing to keep high schoolers in line like playing a song called "The Stripper."
ReplyDelete