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Packing Heat

Friday, June 18, 2010

John's been making me pack for the tour today, since apparently my usual stay-up-'til-4AM-the-night-before method is somehow "bad."

Packing does weird things to us girls, though. (C'mon, ladies, back me up on this.) I mean, one minute you're counting out the socks and underwear, and the next you're sitting slack-jawed on the bed wearing black leggings with shorts over them, one sock, and a yellow push-up bra. And maybe a cape.

John: "Sooo, whatcha doin'?"

Me: "Ummm...."

John: "Have you figured out what you're wearing to the signings yet?"

Me: "Yes."

John: "Really?"

Me: "Socks. I've decided on socks."

John: [patiently] "Do you think maybe you should focus on your actual outfits? There's only four this time, you know. Last time you planned out twice that many."

Me: [now laying on my back and addressing the ceiling fan]: "Mmph. Blurg."

So that's about how my day has gone.

John, of course, hasn't bothered to pack anything for himself yet because he is a guy, and guys only require about seven seconds to pack. Give him a pair of jeans and his toothbrush and he could survive for weeks in the wild. Weeks, I say.

I, on the other hand, require approximately seventeen "travel-size" jars of various potions, creams, primers, moisturizers, pore spackle, joint compound, masks, cleansers, toners, and concealers. And that's before the make-up.

Blurg.

I did, however, get some footwear sorted out:

Now, for the record, and before you mock them, I LOVE those yellow boots. Love, love, LOVE them. Since it's about 100 degrees here, and still in the 60's in California, I'm excited about wearing them a few more times.

They also go great with a cape.

Not that I have one.

[clearing throat] SO...have you heard it's going to be 106 degrees in Tempe on Monday?

Yeah, Tempe's getting flip-flops.

True Story: John just poked his head in the office and asked me - with dripping sarcasm, I might add - how the packing was going. Grumble. Well, I guess I'll see some of you Monday night. Make sure you wear flip-flops so I feel at home, k?

Posted by Jen at 9:29 PM Labels:

89 comments:

  1. Im supposed to be packing right now too... I thought checking up on your blogs would be a *much* better use of my time...

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  2. LOL

    Y'all be careful and have some fun for me. :) I'll be here, tending my spider bite in North Mississippi.



    Feel guilty yet ?



    Hmph...

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  3. For the record, those yellow boots look awesome. I totally love them!

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  4. Uh . . . yeah . . . it's not in the 60s in CA . . . well maybe somewhere in CA it's in the 60s . . . but definitely not in Anaheim or Pasadena. It's more like 80s, 90s there. Sorry. But I do like the boots. I think you should definitely wear them!

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  5. PS: I need those boots. Bad.

    (Please see my profile pic on FB:
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1190580345)

    Now, you understand. LOL

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  6. Thank you for making me laugh!! Your conversation could so be my husband and I. He requires a bit more than John, from your description, but even so, they just don't get how much stuff we require. And how long it takes to figure out just the right outfit.

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  7. @ Anony - I think John said it was San Diego that's still that cool - although during the days I'm sure it's more like the low to mid seventies. Still, I'll take it!

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  8. Ha. In OUR house, the smalls and I are packed 3 days in advance. It's Mr. Himself who is running around 5 minutes before we're supposed to be on the road, dumping the entire contents of his underwear drawer in his oversize duffle, on top of 46 shirts. Because, God forbid, what if he got hot, or wet, or dirty or something and had to CHANGE. Apparently there are no washers out in The World, only at our house.

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  9. No worries! Us Tempeans (not even sure if that's right - whatev) don't actually own real shoes. Flip-flops all around! Hopefully I will see you there ;)

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  10. Are you *sure* you don't want to come to Syracuse? It was in the 60 degree range this week . . . Maybe next time? Pretty please with a patina-ed cherry on top?

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  11. you rock those flip flops Jen! Enjoy your tour, eat cake! :)

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  12. omg, i was almost crying because i was laughing so hard while reading your post!!! yellow push-up bra and a cape? that sounds AWESOME! i'm so wearing that to work tomorrow!

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  13. I will be there with flip flops!! Easy, since I have like 10 pairs...

    They are my weakness in the foot dept.

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  14. haha I always start packing two weeks in advance... we actually go on so many trips to see relatives that we have "trip" clothes and regualar clothes :)

    Jen- those boots are SUPERFAB i have the same ones in black and brown!! I wear them all the time (when not raining)

    www.lifeinacrazyhouse.blogspot.com

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  15. Jen...I can't help but notice how ridiculously clean your shoes are...I mean the white parts are actually *white*! Either a) you need to get out and play in the dirt way more or (and perhaps more likely) b) you're using the tour as an excuse to buy new shoes ;) Either way, I love the selection!

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  16. I live in Phoenix and can tell you that, unless I'm moving or working out at the gym, I'm in flip flops year-round. I generally even wear them when we actually get rain...mainly because it rains so infrequently tha I forget I don't like to get my feet wet, lol. I wore my flip-flops to the Iron Maiden concert last night where I was on my feet basically for 4 hours straight! Wear those flip flops with PRIDE!

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  17. We have a strict dress code in southern AZ: you must not cover any skin below the knees or the shoulders. Hence, tank tops, shorts, and flip flops. Also, drink lots of water b/c it's so dry here you don't notice the gallons evaporating from your body, and wear lots of sunblock: I think we invented skin cancer. On the plus side, with our dress code, you can pack for a month in a medium size handbag.

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  18. Those yellow boots are awesome - Tom Bombadil would LOVE them! :) Now all you need is a bright blue jacket. ;)

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  19. I would just like to agree and say that packing is one of the absolute worst experiences a woman must endure. You never know what you'll need on the trip one day!

    But, the only thing worse than packing, IMO, is UNpacking after the trip....yuck, the suitcase sits on the floor for a few days. Always.

    Safe travels!

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  20. Guys can always get ready/pack so quickly. It's not fair! I feel your pain! Enjoy once you hit the road!

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  21. You ever going to come to North Carolina?

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  22. You are awesome. And I really DO like the yellow boots :)

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  23. Jen,
    I know you will not believe me
    but you need very little.
    {I can hear you whining,"But I waant the cape, or chastity belt,wand or whatever."}
    My SIL saves her ratty underwear for trips. Wears them a day, and throws them away.
    Hope you enjoy the trip.
    Mocking

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  24. The boots ROCK Jen! They would be awesome with a cape!

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  25. I laughed out loud so much that my husband kept asking me "what?".

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  26. My question is, do those 17 travel sized jars contain things you actually USE? My travel sized jars of stuff I "need" usually end up in the bottom of my bag. Why I think I'll use stuff on vacation that I don't use at home is beyond me.

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  27. So, um, I shouldn't mention that to go visit my boyfriend for a week I packed 1 backpack of clothes, 1 knitting bag of projects, 1 small bathroom bag, and 1 laptop bag? I'm a very abnormal girl apparently.

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  28. Lol why is it men always check to see if we are packed but then wait til the last minute and make the mad dash around the place to pack? Silly but rather amusing.

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  29. I had people shoot me funny looks at my burst of laughter when you described sitting on the bed in your "outfit". I must have missed some girly gene because I pack light. It takes me slightly longer than a guy to pack (more like a minute than 5 seconds) but I can go three or four days in a small bag that most people use for a bathroom kit.
    I wear whatever shoes I need (unless I'm going to need an extra pair) and pack just three shirts (because I wear whatever jeans I'm going to), PJs, a toothbrush, a comb, and a book. Then I'm good to go. But I have to pack for a month soon which I think is infinitely harder.

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  30. Flip flops are really THE only way to go in Tempe! I'll be there with mine on, can't wait!!!

    Also, how are your shoes so very clean? Impressive....

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  31. I got up early this morning to pack for a trip. This is what I"m doing instead. Now that I've finished reading blogs the next thing I will do is show this to my husband. Who will be packed in about 2 more minutes. Sigh.

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  32. Wow Tempe gets everything that I want - firs the Wolverine premiere, now your awesome tour. C'mon, Australia needs some love too!

    Oh and those boots are totally awesome.

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  33. Oddly enough I'm packing my daughter's stuff to spend the night at Grandma's. I have to be very specific about what to pack for her. Grandma apparently can't tell the difference between pj's and a play outfit. *ahem* I guess that was venting a little...

    I FREAKIN LOVE LOVE LOVE those boots!!!!!!
    That is all.

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  34. Ohmygosh. I love those boots. I have been searching, and I mean SEARCHING for yellow boots for the past five years. Please, tell where you got them.
    P.S. I love your blog!!

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  35. So funny because it's so true. I hate packing and hate that my husband can pack much quicker and with much less thought than me.

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  36. I love the Liz Lemon "blurgs" all over this post. Excellent. And good luck with packing, I never understand how I need more things in my suitcase than I actually have in my closet.

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  37. Haahahhahaha..This post had me ROLLIN'!!! So true about packing...getting all nostalgic about your hot pink leg warmers you saved since 5th grade...oh *ahermmm* that was just me...but I get like that organizing my sock drawer too. Have a fantastical tour...and think about ABQ in the future! :)

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  38. Have fun... can't wait for your booksigning in PHILA ( hint hint hint... i know there isn't any i'm just dropping big hintsand high hopes). The boots are indeed lovely and if it helps; hubby is packed for our trip to WDW.... we're going in October....sigh

    Hope you two have a great fun and awesome cake!

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  39. Haha. So true! Men can certainly survive with just jeans for "Weeks, I say!" in the wild (and also, maybe a backpack full of wild potatoes and a swiss army knife. Which is, by the way, why men and women are often noted to be substantially different. Heh.)

    Also, final note: You should totally wear a cape *notlikeyouhaveone* with the boots. And take pix. And show them to us. Because if you leave those cute, lonely boots without a cape, I think that should be a crime against humanity! :)

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  40. So, I'm supposed to be packing right now as well....my entire apartment. We're moving next weekend. I HATE packing to move!

    Packing for the weekend I have down pretty well since I do it fairly often. Personally, it takes me much longer to pack my toiletry kit than to pack clothes & shoes. Of course, it takes my fiance only about 10-15 minutes to pack everything.

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  41. What, only 106 in Tempe? That's nothing! :-D And yeah, unless I'm at work, where I need to wear actual shoes, I'm in flip-flops or sandals.

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  42. That reminds me that I should get started on my packing check list. Yeah, I'm one of those anal types that plans out my packing ahead of time with a spreadsheet. It's sad, but effective. I've never not had enough clothing to wear...even when I thought that I hadn't packed enough for our last trip I realized later that I did have another entire outfit...but the place we were staying would have happily have washed my clothes for me also. LOL!

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  43. CONVERSES! 8D I knew you were that awesome. ;D

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  44. Holy smokes ... this is damn funny! I love reading and laughing about cakes, but this is almost better!
    Good luck with the packing ... and yes, I have my own "outfit" ... Lord help the person who comes to the door or pops in my bed room while I pack -- I think I'd sent my hubby out screaming some days. :)

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  45. A week from today I leave for San Diego for a conference. I'm dreading packing. DREADING.

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  46. I have 2 capes (a long black one with purple satin lining and hood, and a purple one with high collar... drooling yet?), you could borrow one of mine if I wasn't in the UK whilst you're in the US! :-S

    Packing usually drives me to alcohol and tears so you're one ahead of me! Enjoy the tour :-D

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  47. I am still young enough for my mother to pack my clothes (which results in odd things, like "but Mooooom! I don't LIKE that shirt" "I know, honey, but it's important." "Mom? Can I take my bumblebee outfit?" "What???" "IT's for a play...."). I'm 16. And yes, I need a bumblebee outfit for a play.

    The fact that she packs my clothes, though, is probably a good thing, because I am an overpacker. Let's just say if we get lost in the woods, I won't have a problem. "Hmmm, how many books? 5? No, that's too little...."

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  48. feel like lacking in grammar :DJune 19, 2010 at 3:46 PM

    THE BOOTSES ARE AMAZINGNESS!!!!!!!!!!

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  49. Have a great time, you crazy kids. And please have a less exciting tour this time around!

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  50. The only footwear I own is a pair of brown faux leather-looking-but-really-plastic flip flops I paid $2.00 for several years ago. Otherwise, I'm barefooted. I keep requesting slippers for birthday/Xmas/Mumsday, but so far, no luck.
    Hope the Tour is fabulous, without the 'medical excitement' of the last one.

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  51. That's how I pack too!

    ...except, I actually do have a cape. And I do usually end up wearing it. And maybe parading around our bedroom with my tiara on my head, too. And my sword in hand.

    Heh.

    No geekiness here. Nope. None at all. Nothin' to see. Move along, people.

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  52. Oh, Jen, I was trying to escape my reality of needing to pack by blog surfing for a bit -- fail! Thanks a lot! haha..

    I hope you have a lovely tour. I'll be in the woods with 32 6/7th graders. Wanna trade? :)

    By the way, I realized last night that i now more obsessively follow EPBOT then Cake Wrecks. whoa. I've decided we'd be real life friends. :)

    Gwen

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  53. Sounds like those boots would go well with your yellow push-up bra. I say go for it.

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  54. You'll fit right in with flip flops in Tempe...in fact, you might get weird looks if you are wearing anything MORE than flip flops on your feet.

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  55. I wear my red Cons around Tempe all the time - my daughter calls them my "Doctor shoes." Of course, for authenticity's sake, I should get a pair of tan Chucks, too.

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  56. Cryin with laughter... WHY do I feel it necessary to pack 20 necklaces, a dozen rings, anklets, bracelets, scores of earrings, hair accesories,3 bags of make-up and of course SHOES GALORE just for a few days of a beach holiday!!! Damn that estrogen!!!!! ;)

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  57. Only 106? You must be visiting us during a cold front or something. Yeah for seeing you in the AZ!

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  58. aliceinwonderland14June 20, 2010 at 2:28 PM

    Jen! I think we have almost the exact same salmon-pink converse! Yay! They are so cute and comfy.

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  59. LOVE, love, love, the boots! I couldn't ever wear them due to terminal klutziness, but they are frelling awesome. You MUST at least wear the matching bra under something so that you feel like a superhero in disguise.

    Oh, and did you clean your flips with a Mr. Clean eraser (or just buy new for the trip)? A quick scrub keeps them looking brand spankin' new.

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  60. omg! I just got home from a weekend trip and I so totally stayed up till 4am packing the night before I left!!!!! (4:10 to be exact!) glad to know I am not alone. (first thing I did was check out your blogs that I missed over the weekend! thanks to you and John (CW) for the laughs!

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  61. I see I'm not the only one who gets distracted part-way through packing. I don't usually end up dressed in a superhero outfit though...

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  62. I have the *exact same* pair of pink Converse sneakers! Also, those boots are rad. You are clearly a woman of impeccable taste :D

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  63. I'm one of those rare girls that only takes forever to get packed because I'm sitting on my arse in front of the computer instead of shoving clothes in a bag. I also hate makeup so I don't have any of that pore spackle stuff you packed.

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  64. I looove all of your shoes!!!!!! And they would so go with a cape.

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  65. I love your yellow boots, they're so cute! I hope you guys have a great time!

    C.

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  66. Tempe resident here! SO SAD I'll be missing your book signing at Changing Hands! Cake Wrecks has brightened many boring/frustrating/sad/otherwise no good days. I'm leaving town tomorrow morning...and your entry on packing hit way too close to home.
    -Liz

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  67. @ Bella - I got the boots on ebay. So far, they're they ONLY boots I've purchased on ebay that fit perfectly - I wish they came in every color! Anyway, search for "yellow boots" - you'll find 'em.

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  68. I maaaaaaaay have just fallen on the floor from laughing so hard. This is SOO true! I love all the looks from the guys who come with a little travel kit and I show up at the hotel with 6 massive suitcases :)

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  69. I love the yellow boots!! and must admit I have had a the same overwhelming packing episode, except ther might have been some form of nightgown involved rather than a cape! You're absolutely right about guys, jeans, a toothbrush and they're good to go for ages. It's not fair!

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  70. I agree with the yellow boots. I love them!!! hey and depending on how you feel if your up to wearing them when it's 100 degrees outside be my guest!! good luck on that. anyway, hope everything turns out well with the packing up things; I for one never am able to figure out what to take or wear!!!! ever!!!! hope you have better luck!

    hugs, kisses.... take care

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  71. The yellow boots are completely AWESOME. I want a pair, too!

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  72. Its completely not fair that men take only 7 seconds to pack. I start packing 3 weeks....YES, I DID say THREE WEEKS!!!...before a trip because I have to pack, re-pack (did I really mean to pack that? does that outfit really go together? Wait, do I really want to wear those pants with that shirt? Should I take an extra sweater just in case?) My husband always makes fun of me. I say I am well-prepared. That's the Girl Scout way, right?

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  73. I'm quite certain I have been found (more than once) in a bizarre outfit, sitting in a near-trance, next to a mostly empty suitcase.

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  74. I laugh because I pack for ALL of us( my 37 yr old husband, a 2yr old and a fetus) and still end up sitting on my bed wearing nothing...because I HATE every piece of clothing I own at that point. The crosses we bear as the female of the species...{sigh} :)

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  75. I've been doing the awesome mismatching clothes thing before I had any use for a bra and my mom has come to call them cleaning outfits. I like to think that cleaning outfits are a good way of organizing because you putting on stuff you need to remember to do something with. They serve a very good, but often very convoluted process.

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  76. Jen, gotta go with what everyone else has said about the boots - LOVE them! Now I need a pair to go with my red plaid boots.

    I am a list queen. I make lists for everything, including what I am taking when we go on a trip. I start a few weeks before, one list for clothes, one for toiletries, one for shoes and jackets, and one for other random stuff (books, camera, etc.). I keep them on hand until a few days before I need to pack, and then they stay home as I start laying stuff out on the dresser that I want to take. So much to consider: what will the weather be? What activities will we be doing? If I'm going on a retreat, do I need a special outfit for one day?

    One thing I do (well used to do, as I don't travel nearly as much these days) is to have two sets of my toiletries - one for home, one for travel. The travel one may have smaller sizes of toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, but then I also have all my creams, makeup, nail polish, etc., so that I always have my favorites along.

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  77. You. Are. Hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for starting this blog! I love every post. You're awesome.

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  78. I love LOVE LOVE the yellow boots too!

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  79. Here's where you can order your custom superhero cape. Alyssa is a friend. :)
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/pipandbean

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  80. Colorful boots always remind me of How I Met Your Mother and Ted's Red boots! "Pulling... them... off!"

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  81. Whenever I travel I am always up until 4 AM at least - especially when I know a taxi is picking me up at 5 to get to the airport in time for a 7 am flight. It's the best way. I find I work well under a certain amount of pressure.
    It might be one of the many reasons I am now separated - the spousal unit didn't share my sense of lack of urgency, or no need for sleep. LOl
    I could use a good cape.

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  82. "I mean, one minute you're counting out the socks and underwear, and the next you're sitting slack-jawed on the bed wearing black leggings with shorts over them, one sock, and a yellow push-up bra. And maybe a cape."

    lmfao yes, that is literally how i pack!!!

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  83. I love capes--have 5 of them. But no yellow boots.

    As for packing--I went to Australia for 5 weeks with a carryon and a smallish backpack. Although I will admit I acquired another backpack and a tote while there to carry the books I bought, so that I looked like a bag lady coming home.

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  84. That's funny cause whenever I'm packing I always forget socks.

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  85. i'm a bit behind posting here, but i just got back from a little trip to Guatemala... where i met up with a friend who's been back backing across central america since may 1st. this entry of yours reminded me of her last day before heading out on her excursion. to say the least, that evening, she asked me to take over selecting and fitting her things into one hiker pack. and we did finish with time to spare for dinner. heh!
    there are times (such as while packing) when i am reminded that i do not and will not understand women, as much as i try to keep a patient and open mind ;)
    i have found this entry most enlightening... as well as entertaining, of course. :) thank you!

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  86. At least it's not as bad as my dad...he has to have driving clothes. A 45 minute drive requires a complete change of clothes. On a 3 day trip, I packed one backpack. my dad packed 2 suitcases.

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  87. O my gosh.. you are now my very favorite person!!!! I've loved cake wrecks for quite some time and have been hit & miss a bit on EPBOT but I totally relate to this post!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one that packs this way!!!

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  88. I am with the guys; packing takes 0.0001 seconds. How could you need all that stuff? I think the best part of traveling is the gum, as my Mom won't let me chew it otherwise. Some people travel all the time, but I think that you should spend some time at home.

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