Supernatural Scares

I have to preface this by stating, for the record and with no equivocation, that when it comes to scary stuff, John and I are wimps. Wusses. 'Fraidy-cat namby-pambies. We don't like being scared, and each year when the commercials for Halloween Horror Nights come on we both dive for the remote to change the channel, because those things are REALLY STINKING SCARY.

So, naturally, we recently started watching Supernatural.



I blame Netflix.

See, John and I get addicted to shows, and then watch nothing but that show from start to finish. Which usually doesn't take too long. So I'm always on the look out for new obsessions series to start.

But here's the clincher: we don't have cable.

Which is fine, because most stuff can be found online or through Netflix streaming. Streaming is the easiest, although Netflix's selection still leaves much to be desired. So, while I was listlessly clicking through the "recommended" options a few weeks ago, I perked up when Supernatural came up. I knew nothing about it except it sounded familiar, and - what's this? Over 150 episodes available on live streaming?! SOLD.

I actually started the pilot while John was in the other room, and within two minutes I was pausing and inching the show forward frame-by-frame while peering through my fingers to see when the scary stuff jumped out.

At the fifteen minute mark, John wandered in.

"What are you watching?"

[speaking through a pillow I was holding over my face] "Supernatural. But it's really scary."

"You're watching something scary? What are you thinking?!"

[wailing] "I don't know!! It looked kind of cool!"

"You know we can't watch scary stuff!"

"I know!!"

There was a pause as the creepy music reached a crescendo and we both contemplated the screen with eyes the size of dinner plates.

"Hang on, I wanna watch, too."

And so began our abusive relationship with a scary TV show. Abusive because it lulls us into a false sense of security with one or two episodes with relatively tame scares, and then, POW! We're screaming like little girls behind the couch and sleeping with the lights on.

It doesn't help that our prime TV-watching hours start around 1AM. And you know what *else* doesn't help? When you're watching a creepy suspenseful show about some demon with tree branch fingers scratching at bedroom windows and THEN YOU START HEARING SCRATCHING AT THE WINDOW because there's either a squirrel scaling your window screens OR POSSIBLY A DEMON COMING TO EAT YOUR SOUL and have I mentioned we haven't slept in a few days?

During the squirrel scratching incident - and let's go ahead and assume it's a squirrel since we're still alive. SO FAR. - John and I actually got so freaked out that we did what any sensible, fully grown adults would do: we shut off the TV, left every light in the house on, locked ourselves in the bedroom, and finished watching the show on his laptop in bed.

We kept promising ourselves and each other that as soon as one of us started having nightmares, we'd stop. Having already reached the third season, though, now we're rationalizing:

"Well, yes, it was a nightmare, but I didn't dream anything specifically from last night's episode, so I'm sure it's not related."

"If you think about it, this show is probably toughening up our psyche, so in the long run we'll actually have LESS nightmares."

And so on.

Usually Supernatural gives you a nice lead-in to the scares with lots of ominous music and suspense, thereby enabling us more cautious-minded individuals to "assume the position." (This involves peering with one eye through our cupped hands while yelling, "I can't look! Are you looking? Is it over? Did you see it? AAAUGGH!! I LOOKED! OH MY GOSH THAT'S SO FREAKING SCARY! Don't look! It's RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!" And so on.)

Last night, though, we had our biggest scare from the show yet. It even managed to dethrone that scene in "Crossroad Blues" where the wife is saying goodbye to her hubby and then suddenly cranks her head sideways and goes all demon-faced on him. [shudder]

This one involved children, who I never realized could be so bone-chillingly creepy even without makeup or special effects, and can I just say I am so, SO glad we're not having any, because after that episode I could never sleep with a kid in the house for fear I might see their reflection in a mirror and realize they're really some leech-faced monster and holy crap I'm scaring myself just writing this and what have you done to me, Supernatural?!

[panting]

So, yeah. It's a good show.

And for the uninitiated out there who are thinking of giving it a try, you should know that the pilot is a bit scarier and more intense than a lot of the subsequent episodes. Until you get to "Bloody Mary." And the clown one. [shiver] And when you get to "Heart," the werewolf one in season two? Yeah. Just skip that one. Not because it's scary, but because the ending is dumb and needlessly dramatic - like punching a kitten just to make us cry. That was really out of character for the show, though, and the only bad episode I've seen yet. Fortunately it doesn't have anything to do with the over-arching storyline, though, and a few shows after that is "What is And What Should Never Be," which we *thought* was going to be really cheesy, but ended up being one of the best yet. So that makes up for it.

Just watch out for "The Kids Are Alright," alright? Especially the car scene. Trust me.