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THE BLOGGESS MADE ME DO IT

Monday, September 30, 2013

For those of you with "lives" or whatever that prevented you from stalking following me on Twitter over the weekend:





Naturally, this got all the right kinds of attention:


Which led to:




So as you can see, this is all the Bloggess' fault.

And I'd like to point out that it's a pleasant tinkling, John.



So what's with all the screaming?


Posted by Jen at 5:19 PM Labels: , ,

118 comments:

  1. THIS IS THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES. Beautiful, antiquated, old-timey nightmares.

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  2. I hope this gets followed up with a how to post.

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    Replies
    1. AMEN! (Aaaaahhhhhhggghhhh.....?)

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    2. I (*counting on fingers* 1, 2,... 3, ..... ah) fourth the motion.

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  3. My cat appears unmoved by my pleas for her protection. Thank you in advance for the nightmares.

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  4. you're evil. that is my personal hell. lol. SO NOT OKAY!

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  5. *blink*blink*blink* What the....AAAAHHHH!!!
    Oh the nightmares!

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  6. Why am I not surprised that you made the mobile? Heh.

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  7. Could only be worse if it was CLOWNS!

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    Replies
    1. Ah, but did you notice the doll on the left IS a clown? :D

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    2. Oh, geez, the one with the cold dead stare IS a clown. Yeah, not cool knowing that is in the world. NOT COOL. (I will admit, tho, I snorted with glee quite loudly when I first looked.)

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  8. Jen, Sweety; Artfully done though it is, it's time to put the Dremel down and take a walk around the block. :-)



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    Replies
    1. Brilliant comment, Maggie, absolutely brilliant!

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  9. {weeping profusely} Why Jen?
    WWHHHHHHYYYYYYY?
    I thought you loved us...

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  10. You two just make my day. Wait - 3, including John. 4, including Victor.

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  11. My husband just told me he's leaving me. He hates clowns. This is quite inspiring ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Anon, it could be fun in that circumstance. :)

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    2. I might have to leave a little surprise in one (or many) of his boxes. And why is there not an emoticon with an evil grin?

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    3. There is ---
      >:-} (I think officially that's devil, but the devil is the epitome of evil)

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    4. Duly noted >:-}

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  12. Love this so much. Thank you for sharing with the stalking-impaired (no smart phone) ~kaz

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  13. bahahahaha!
    I have 4 lacy antique dolls that are meant to hang on a Christmas tree. similar look.
    will take a picture this Christmas. I usually put them in a sleigh. a creepy sleigh full of dolls

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  14. Am I correct in assuming John is sleeping in another room (or possibly another house entirely) tonight?

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    Replies
    1. No joke: he made me store it in the garage over night. THE GARAGE. Ha!

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    2. Does that mean he's going to scare himself when he walks into the garage in the morning?

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  15. OMG - this is awesome TIMES awesome! Bwahahaha!

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  16. :) I love you and Jenny for this. This says a lot about me but I think it is hysterical. Twisted, but hysterical.

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  17. This is from that lesser-known Greek Myth, "The Mobile of Damacles."

    I'm getting John Kevlar for Christmas.

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    Replies
    1. "Mobile of Damacles" that's hilarious!

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    2. LOL!! "Mobile of Damacles!" Trust you, Sharyn. :D (though it made me think Sword of Damacles and I went to the song where Rocky sings that in The Rocky Horror Picture Show so, yeah...singing the whole soundtrack in my head.)

      -Barbara Anne

      P.S. Kevlar's expensive- can we just get him a surplus army helmet instead? it's really his head we need to worry about

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  18. OMG This is amazing!!!! The Bloggess can be quite compelling.

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  19. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTSkWnKs9rM watch this, you will love it!
    The Song "Creepy Doll" from Jonathan Coulton (done with WOW animation)

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    Replies
    1. And I'm started off thinking Coulton from the line "what's with all the screaming" Jen used up there. (It's in this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_ryNJVreiY) I'd forgotten all about the doll song!

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  20. You are scaring me. The fact that you actually made it... poor John. He should grab those cats and head for a hotel tonight 'cause I'm not sure he's safe even with that thing in the garage.
    Now you just need to create a sing-along video to go with it. Every mobile needs music.
    Why am I even encouraging this?

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    Replies
    1. The one porcelain doll i had as a kid had a wind up music box that played Fur Elise. It wasn't creepy at the time...but if the doll was missing an eye and hung from a noose...and if the music box were rigged somehow so that it always played reeeeeaaal slow...

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  21. ahhh, nightmare fuel mobiles. it could be a brand!

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  22. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! How did I miss this on Twitter?! Two of my favorite internet people making nightmares come true ;) I've been sick all day, so thanks for making me smile again.

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  23. omg....I have to learn how to twitter.....

    You are the best, Jen!!!

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  24. I'm thinking this thing needs to be front and center Halloween décor! Maybe back lit in a front window to terrify all the trick or treaters. (evil grin)

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    Replies
    1. That's EXACTLY what *I* was thinking!!

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  25. My mom's guest room looks like the original photo, only she has LOTS more dolls like that. A whole wall on one side, plus tables full around the room. When you walk out there is a four foot tall ceramic doll wearing a wedding gown in the hallway. I've never slept in that room. I don't know if I could sleep in that room.

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    Replies
    1. Forget sleep, I don't know that I could ENTER that room.

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  26. I'm looking at the picture and below it is cover picture and book review for "Mrs. Peregrine's..." The cover of that book looks so much less creepy now.

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  27. Oh my word! You + The Bloggess = Dangerous in all the best ways!

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  28. Is this what happens when good bloggers turn to the dark side?

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  29. The clown is soooo creepy! It's eyes are haunting! SO FUNNY though!

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  30. That.... is the coolest thing ever :D and I want to make one, now. Just to terrorize halloween guests.

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  32. This is an epic win. Two of my favorite bloggers conspiring to create mayhem. LOVE.

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  33. Says me, "I know how I'll relax after a long day of work! I'll just check my favorite bloAAAAAAH!" *pant pant wheeze gasp pant*

    Terrifying. Utterly terrifying... and exactly in time for Halloween too. *evil laughter*

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  34. I may have laughed entirely too hard at that mobile. Please note that I would NOT be laughing if it was in my home. I'd be peeing my pants in horror. But in someone else's home? HILARIOUS. I love that you did that. Poor John.

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  35. See kids, THIS is what happens when Sid from 'Toy Story' grows up and starts making crafts.
    Knives, dolls, clowns... the only thing missing here is a dolly with a raptor head, amirite?

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    Replies
    1. like, like, a million times like!!!

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  36. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *gasp* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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  37. Total non-commenting lurker here, and I'm not sure that this is the right kind of comment to delurk with, but if you ever come to Mexico City let me take you to the island of the dolls....
    Google image search

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    Replies
    1. Eloise, that place is very, very, VERY disturbing! I don't creep out that easily, but the island of the dolls would totally freak me out.

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    2. Ok, now I HAVE to look it up. [runs off to google]

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    3. It *is* totally creepy, but AMAZING to take pictures. I find it both disturbing/sad and oddly peaceful, and it's one of my favouritest, weirdest places to take people. A lovely boat ride, a picnic, floating musicians, food, drink, everyone happy, sunshine... and SUDDENLY TERRIFYING DOLLS :)

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  38. If anyone ever asks me why I follow Epbot, I need only point at the awesomeness of this.

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  39. Eeeek! Where did you get those dolls? Did you have to make them creepier, or were they already that creepy? And what's the rabbit from? Are his ears broken off? Poor widdle bunny! Him jus' needs cuddles an' he'll put down his knife!

    Excellently horrifying lighting on the mobile.

    We need to see it from other angles, please.

    KW

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    Replies
    1. Hee, no problem; I have even more horrifying angles... Think I might make up a quick tutorial, since it was surprisingly fun to make. I'll have more pics there!

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  40. PERFECT for Halloween! Maybe you should hang it on the front porch while handing out candy, to the horror/delight of all the trick-or-treaters? ;)

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    Replies
    1. Make sure the knives are VERY secure in that case. Can't be too careful in such a litigious society. :)

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  41. tiny purple elephantOctober 1, 2013 at 12:04 AM

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
    Add some clowns and you would have to call the men with the butterfly nets to come get me..

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  42. Oddly enough, this doesn't really scare me, but I'm glad you're a generally sane adult who's aware of the fact that this is kind of disturbing. Also, from an anthropological standpoint, dolls freak us out because our brain tells us they're sort of human and sort of not (we have a natural part of our brain that recognizes other human beings). Our brain just has a hard time with this. It's also why we don't really like clowns. But it might be a fun Halloween decoration. I would welcome a tutorial.

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    Replies
    1. You had me at "generally sane."

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    2. I've never been afraid of clowns or dolls... what does that say about me? *sigh*

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    3. I would love to see the look on the face of the archaeologist that finds that in the future.

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  43. tiny purple elephantOctober 1, 2013 at 12:11 AM

    AHHHHH!!!!! I'm home alone and its after midnight and I just googled Island of the Dolls.......

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    Replies
    1. LOL
      I read that the origin of the island was under sad circumstances, so no disrespect intended, but can you imagine if the tour guides were dressed in clown outfits? I will never, ever visit Mexico. I'm surprised that no movies have been made about this. I LOVE this blog

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  44. Oh wow! I totally almost just died this to my wife, who would love it, and prolly have to make her own, and we don't have a garage, which would be even worse in my opinion (will be checking Twitter in the am to see about reports of garage noises!), so we would actually both be freaked out and unable to sleep, until we had a bonfire... But then I saw the bunny, and that would just make her cry/really freak her out...
    But aside from all that - amazing!!!!!

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  45. Dear God, have you never read Stephen King? I am so glad I am not John, those sort of dolls freak me out big time...I may never trust you again!

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  46. Absolutely Brilliant. Now i know what to do with those mass produced in china ugly porcelain dolls.

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  47. That's really creepy. Brilliant, but creepy. I've had to warn my husband not to read this post for fear of traumatising him, never thought I'd see the day. . .

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  48. UM ... wtf? I love it! Think it's a great chandelier to have for Halloween - specially walking into the front of a house - oohh I wih that was easy to get parts of up here. But really cool looking!

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  49. This made me choke on the water I was drinking. I love it. It's dark, twisted, and absolutely hilarious.

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  50. Perfect for Halloween, but I'd probably leave it out all year long like I do my ceramic skull (His name is Harold).

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  51. oh so very creepy.. almost pretty... any little psychopath would love to have that as a mobile LOL

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  52. Incredibly mean to those poor little dolls.
    But hilarious.
    Still laughing minutes later. Not quite what i expected to see on Epbot this morning but soooo glad I did.

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  53. Where did that image come from? Did you create that in Photoshop, or does that monstrosity actually exist somewhere in the real world?

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    Replies
    1. If only I had those Photoshop skills! No, this exists - currently in my garage, since John won't sleep with it in the house. :D

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    2. *Shudders* I don't blame him. I wouldn't want it in my house (or garage for that matter) either.

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  54. I rarely follow blogs these days, but I have to say that yours is worth it. And, for what it's worth, that mobile is about the best thing ever to do with old dolls. I particularly like that missing eye and artfully smudged cheek... Now did you make it for reals or did you find the picture somewhere? I am inclined, knowing the sorts of creative projects you've done, to think you whipped it up (or is that filleted it up?) for the photo.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes, I made it! I think I'll post a quick tutorial soon, which will have more angles & closeups: the dolls are SUPER filthy and destroyed. Heh.

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  55. Aiiieeeee! Actually, I'm surprised that you didn't make a special Toy Story version with all of the misfit toys. :D

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  56. What does it say about me that my favorite one is the small one on the right where you can see the noose tied... Clearly, something is wrong with me... *shrugs* oh well.

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  57. Ahhhhh! That is the stuff of bride of chucky and many nightmares!

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  58. 'tis the season......

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  59. You know, I would TOTALLY hang that over my (non-existent) child's crib!

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    Replies
    1. You could totally go ahead and set up a creepy nursery and hang this over the creepy crib. And then refuse to discuss why you have that setup when you don't have children.

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  60. This is awesome. But would totally backfire on me. I'd have nightmares, and my husband is unflappable.

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  61. OF COURSE it's the Bloggess' fault. A fantastic creepy mobile.

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  62. Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She is a bad example and will have no cakes today.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Drusilla would totally own this mobile!

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  63. Oh my gosh! If I didn't have a 4 yr old I would seriously do this.

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  64. Perfection! That mobile pic is now the background on my phone :-)

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  65. I love it when my two favorite blogs collide.

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  66. My strapping 16-year-old son who has been freaked out by dolls his whole life just sprinted from the room........

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  67. Thanks for new something breathing on my neck creepy night terrors!

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  68. if i have one of these hanging in the patio at halloween.... i wonder how much candy we'd get to keep?! :D

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  69. I need to make this a thing in my life! Thanks for the inspiration Jen!! ~insert evil laugh here~

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  70. And I thought it was bad that my creepy neighbor has a bunch of dolls sitting in and around the bushes & flowers in her front yard. Very creepy.

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  71. ... you know, I know a woman with an antique doll collection. And my sister collects knives. No one would notice should a few items go missing...

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  72. that is amazing, I love it

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  73. I have to have this! Not for myself, but for a friend who is straight up terrified of dolls. I lynched a my size Barbie doll once and hung it in her closet. She freaked out. Then I dismembered it and mailed it to her piece by piece. She was also unable to eat dinner at a restaurant once because a kid had a doll and the doll was staring at her. I haven't scared the dickens out of her in a long time and this would be perfect. Perfect, I tell you! I can get her roommate to let me in and I can hang it over her bed. What better way to say I miss hanging out with you than with the creepiest thing I have ever seen?

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  74. I was torn over wanting the mobile but not living in the continental US but then I noticed what I think is a drywall knife in the middle there. And I know you said you weren't going to send the knives but my brand new amazing drywall knife did a runner. And I was super construction-nerd-girl excited because I knew* what it was. That's all.

    *If I was wrong please never tell me.

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  75. I would love to have this it would be awesome. Halloween is my favorite time of the year and this would be prefect for hanging right where our dead plant is currently hanging or I would possibly even hang it inside. heh heh would love to scare my cat.

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  76. I don't know why I want this, but I do!!

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  77. You like dolls, you like knives,
    Isn't it enough to know that I ruined your
    dreams while making a gift for you?
    Maybe I used too many knives
    Or maybe it was the dolls
    But really, who doesn't like dolls with knives?

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