Tuesday, September 17, 2013

6 Things I Learned On My Internet Sabbatical



 
I know I hit the ground running here with my Dragon Con coverage, but I wanted to mention some of the things I learned/discovered while I was away from Epbot and most of the internet for those two months. So here goes!

As a reader:

- Internet Outrage is Exhausting, so Choose Your Clicks Wisely

There have been plenty of articles on this already, so suffice to say that it's easy to get "outrage fatigue" online. We can only be angry for so long; at some point you have to choose NOT to click that latest article on why people are awful and who you should hate today. Even when the cause is just, your well-being and sanity have to come first. Plus - and this is key - it's ok to be happy. I promise.

- Be The Anti-Troll

If even 10% of readers left positive feedback on every post they read, we could drown out the trolls with an avalanche of encouragement - and how cool would that be? It doesn't take much; just click that "like" every time, or fire off a quick compliment in the comments. I've learned the value of a kind word over and over these past five years, so I'm trying to be a little less of a lurker and spread a little more love on sites I follow - particularly the smaller ones that get very few FB likes or interaction. Even if I didn't think that particular post was particularly brilliant, I default to a state of praise, and I've found I'm that much cheerier for it. (And as a bonus, I get more of a relationship with artists & bloggers I admire as a result!)




As a blogger:

- Comment moderation isn't worth it

99% of my comments here on Epbot are positive, but living in fear of that 1% can take its toll. I never realized how much I dreaded moderating comments until I didn't have to, and with moderation off, I don't have to battle any guilt over letting unmoderated comments pile up in the queue.

That's not to say I won't read and respond to comments, of course, because those interactions are a key part of what I cherish about this community - but the fact that I don't *have* to is a lifted weight.


- I need to accomplish physical, tangible goals to be happy.

I've had the itch to create ever since I was old enough to glue googly eyes on a pom-pom ball, and that need to Make is as integral to me as my need to write. When I stopped crafting and making things with my hands in order to crank out more writing online, everything went out of whack. I lost focus. I lost my drive. The work was paying off, because Epbot was the most successful it had ever been when I hit that wall, but I reached a point where I couldn't remember what I was working so hard for anymore.

During my Sabbatical John and I did both a major home remodel (which you'll see soon) and our costume projects, so every morning I got up with a physical goal in mind. THAT was what got me out of bed. Once I accomplished something tangible - from painting a room to carving a leather bracer - it was so much easier to sit at the laptop and dive back into my virtual head space.


- Write What You Love, Not What You Think Other People Will Love

This is my top guideline for anyone who asks for blogging advice, so it's particularly embarrassing that I started to lose sight of it. Don't get me wrong; I've loved just about everything I've ever posted here, but I was neglecting the kind of posts I really cherish in order to write more.

I made it my goal to post five days a week here on Epbot, in addition to the six posts a week I'm already committed to on CW - and I even managed it for the entire month of June! - but to do so I had to skip things like craft tutorials and funny life anecdotes and whatnot, because I just didn't have time. I also burned myself out without realizing it; I sailed through June happy as a clam... and then promptly imploded the first week of July.

I started Epbot to celebrate the things I love and to connect with people who love those same things. My goal was never to amass a huge following like on CW, or to make gads of money, or even to make a name for myself. And funnily enough, I think most of you prefer my original content posts, too, so really it's a win-win if I just slow down and focus on my best joys.


- E-mail is a Perpetual Time Suck of Doom

I routinely take half an hour to answer a single fan e-mail, both because I am a painfully slow writer, and because I obsess over accidentally saying the wrong thing. Longer e-mails can take me 2 hours, easy. Tweets can be equally torturous, as I write and re-write (and re-write!) the same pithy sentiment over and over until I just delete it because who really cares what my cat's doing, anyway?

E-mail is the worst, though, because it's a continuous cycle of guilt and procrastination. I've managed to outsource the vast majority of CW e-mail to John and my helper Julianne, but Epbot is too personal. I can't outsource it - and what's more, I don't want to. I actually really love all your e-mails; it's just the expectation of a reply that wears me down.

My solution so far has been making it clear on my contact page that I probably won't be able to reply, and also asking everyone to direct simple questions or links to either my Facebook or Twitter, which are much easier for me to check and therefore get the most attention. It's still not perfect, and someday I may have to remove my e-mail address from the contact page all together, but for now, this helps.

I've also determined to devote less effort overall into e-mail, since it robs me of post-writing mojo big time. I need that creative juice for posts, and overall I think most of you readers would prefer more posts to more e-mail replies. (At least I hope so!)


So there you have it - the stuff I learned while I was away. Well, that and it's impossible to get 3 stars on level 65 of Candy Crush without spending any money. IMPOSSIBLE, I SAY. But I guess I'll keep trying.


What about you guys? Any tips for avoiding internet burn-out in general, or blog-managing in particular? After five years I obviously still don't have this down, so drop some wisdom on me, peeps!

153 comments:

  1. I read Epbot partly because of your crafts & tutorials. You have a detailed eye for all of your projects. Mostly I read it because your personality shines through - and it's a beautiful one! You're funny & easy to follow.

    Do what you have to do to be yourself. You'd be missed if you weren't here.

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  2. My biggest BIGGEST bit of advice is to write your posts ahead of time. I write posts up to a half month in advance sometimes. So when you are in the mood to crank out a post, do two, then save the second one for when you can't blog for whatever reason and slap one on up.

    This takes pressure off of me, allows me to write when it's fun and most important keeps my content updated on a regular basis.

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  3. I deal with anxiety and depression every day...but I don't do nearly as many things as you and John tend to crank out!

    My tips for avoiding problems on the internet is to recognize ahead of time what is going to be negative and avoid it. I don't watch TV except online, and I generally avoid the news. If something pops out that interests me (I'm morbid when it comes to natural disasters!), I go for it. But politics, shootings, and general junk on the news, whether televised or internet, is too much for me.

    I do, however, have an argument about video games preventing violence in the world...at least for me. You seem to have found it too. There are great advantages to taking out anger or frustration on something that can't hurt anyone, though I imagine its much better when its a craft project that can turn into something even better.

    I love reading your blog, mostly because you show me things I can never do, whether its crafting, or my big thing, crowds.

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  4. Just wanted to come out of lurkerdom to tell you that you rock and I am so glad you've continued on with both of your blogs. You make me smile every single day. Thank you for being you. You make a difference! :)

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  5. Valuable lessons indeed :) And you are absolutely right: quality and devotion are much more important measures than the number of posts - for you as the blogger, but also for the followers. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to read the 5+6 posts you put up every week? We need a break once in a while too ;)

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  6. This is brilliant and I love it. You're very right, especially about writing about what you love. So many bloggers have started writing for "their audience." No. Write for you. Your audience will find you because they like the same things you do.

    Also, now I want to go glue googly eyes on pom-poms.

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  7. Thank you for this. The post, your sites, your attitude; it's so refreshing to see someone OK with being happy. Hooray for you!

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  8. Thank you for your honesty. As you know so many people are not honest on this interweb these days. It is very reassuring to hear you being so honest.
    Keep being yourself!

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  9. It's like this post was written for me! I took a few weeks off and what I learned that I was so much more creative not being tied to the computer thinking about what to post etc... And to be honest I do find it exhausting being back in the cyber world seeing what blog is ripping me off today. I just have to think in the scheme of things, in this big wide wonderful world, what do I really want to focus on? The negativity or doing something that makes me truly happy. Thanks for writing this post and putting things in perspective for me.

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  10. I just wanted to drop in and share my love for both Epbot and CW!

    Through Epbot I have found so many new things to enjoy, and your posts have definitely helped me to become the person that I am today. I'm slowly coming out of my shell, and I have you to thank for that.

    Thank you for sharing so much of your time with us, but don't forget to make time for yourself. We will still be here if your posts are random and not on a set schedule.

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  11. Up to level 260 of candy crush and haven't spent a cent! I love Epbot but would much rather you post less and do more of what you love. Thank you for creating this great page :-)

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  12. I don't have any tips for you, but I'm taking what you said here to heart. (Yup. I'm a taker, not a giver. Sorry!) I'm also sharing this. In my personal life, things have gotten so crazy that I am actually going to take what you say as advise for not only the internet, but for life in general. I need a sabbatical from life (not gonna happen!), and hopefully by listening to what you say will help me ease up on myself a bit and make things easier so I won't feel like doing anything drastic.

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  13. It's not directly blogging related, but I realized a lot of my issues got worse late at night, so I made myself get off the internet. I'm inherently a night owl, but you can retrain yourself. Normal hours makes a difference!

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  14. I'm also coming out of the 'Lurker Closet' to tell you just how much I love both your blogs Jen. Cakewrecks is always my first stop every morning, and I love to check out Epbot and watch with envy how you turn the ordinary into extraordinary. Do whatever you have to do to keep moving forward on your path. And heartfelt thanks for all you, John and the Cakewrecks crew do to keep your fandom entertained.

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  15. Jen, this is your blog. Feel free to post as much or as little about whatever content you choose. I love everything you do, but maybe love the tutorials most since I am a happiest when I am making things too.

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  16. The internet is friggin' weird. There are like 3% of the global population that are like us (totally just made that up cause I can on the internet), and when you do the math of the population of the planet and the people with internet access, and you figure out that most of those people don't get that they could actually have something to say that helps other people (the way you, Jen, and Jon, have helped us), and that they have more money than they know what to do with...

    Well, let's just say we're left with a REALLY big pile of money just tempting away at us all the friggin' time...

    So much respect to your superego or whatever it is that keeps you human.

    And much love, and gratitude. Your goodness is a constant reminder not to turn to the dark side, no matter how awesome their cookies might be.

    If you ever sell out to Nike though, fuck yeah, I am too.

    SWOOSH.

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  17. I especially liked your "anti-troll" section and totally agree with you on that! (BTW - I'm on level 91 in Candy Crush without spending any money. You can do it!)

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  18. My favorite part of blogging is the relationship with other bloggers. If you have a small tribe of like-minded people who "get" blogging (so many people don't), it makes all the difference in the world. It's awesome that you have a live-in blog buddy with Jon, but do you have another group who can help you celebrate victories and will listen to your vents? It's a life saver.

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  19. I'm so glad to have you back. I've read Epbot since day one and though I tend to be a lurker and stay out of the comments, I truely missed having one of my fav invisible internet friends around.

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  20. It is awesome that you learned so much from your sabbatical and that you are adjusting your priorities to better match up with how you actually want to live/write/be. :)

    The comment moderation thing is, I think, a mixed bag. I don't think you have to turn on comment moderation so all comments must be approved before they are posted, and it sounds like that was the big issue. I do, however, strongly believe in moderating crap comments that should not be allowed to live. I see nothing wrong with deleting a comment that is inappropriate, unacceptable, unrelated, etc and I avoid reading comments on sites where I know they post controversial content and don't really do much moderation. I don't need that crap.

    So one tip I have, that goes with the internet rage, is to selectively read comments. If you don't know what the comment policy is, proceed with caution. A lot of sites are happy to have lots of outrage, lots of shitty behaviour and back biting in their comments. That is not worth my time. Thoughtful comments, however, are. :) As are the posts that proceed them.

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    1. I agree completely, and I'll still be going through comments and removing anything nasty - just after the fact, though, so I can do larger batches at once. It's only because I know 99% of comments here are "safe" that I feel comfortable turning moderation off! (If any of you ever see something really inappropriate in the comments, btw, feel free to let me know via Twitter, so I can get to it faster.)

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  21. So much great stuff in this post! I always marveled at how you could possibly have the time to moderate all of those comments - I think it makes a lot of sense to let go of that stress. And the part about accomplishing physical, tangible goals has struck a chord with me. I'm a stay at home mom and I've been sliding into a general feeling of utter blah this past year, and I think it's because I can't point to anything in my day and say "I did that." Like I started something and completed it and look there it is isn't it wonderful? I need more of that, for sure.

    I missed you/EPBOT while you were gone but I'm so glad that you too that time to recharge and get back in the fighting spirit. :)

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  22. I'm glad you got to clear your head a bit. I often wonder if I need to do the same thing. I may do so during November since I really want to try and accomplish Nano this year.

    Thank you for all that you do with Epbot and CakeWrecks. They both make me happy! :)

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  23. Thank you for all that you do on both Epbot and CakeWrecks. Epbot is the first blog I look for in my Feedly reader every day, and I will be just as pleased if it doesn't have a 1 next to it quite so often so long as you're writing about what you love and are enjoying it as much as you can. Welcome back, Jen!

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  24. I'm so glad you're back! And feeling happy again. I don't have any blog management wisdom but here's my two cents on dealing with difficult people. I used to work with a woman who made everyone crazy with all her power plays and cruelty. She had a lot of power in the organization and just tortured people with it. She'd send nasty scathing emails to people for perceived slights or errors and copy it to like fifty people just to make sure everyone knew you'd transgressed. But all it did was make everybody hate her for being a bully. I finally stopped letting her upset me when I thought about what it must be like to live in her head 24 hours a day, how awful and lonely it must be. There's nothing anybody can say to her or do to her that's worse than what she's doing to herself. What an awful way to live. Your way of living is infinitely better. I always find something on this site (even if I don't have a clue about some of the newer shows and the games and can't do crafty stuff to save my life) to make me smile. Thank you.

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  25. Ugh, I am stuck on level 131 of Candy Crush. STUCK! I was stuck on level 30 & 65 for weeks. SO stuck I almost gave up on the game. I cannot get past level 131 right now. I'm irritated because my husband started playing after me and he is like a hundred levels past me. Yeah.

    I promise to try and come out of Lurk mode to comment more. Mostly I figure that Everyone else already said what I would say. But just so you know when I talk about your cool craft projects particularly your penny desktop, I say my friend did this really cool thing. I really want to make one like it.

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  26. I'm sure you've already thought of this, but would it be possible to combine email replys with posts? Content creation and responses in one fell swoop! Granted, some of the emails you get (I'm sure) are very personal and wouldn't be appropriate for public consumption, but for those who are game, can you have Q&A posts once in a while that allow you to answer emails and create awesome blog posts at the same time?

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    1. That's a brilliant solution, and I really should try to do more "mailbag" posts in the future. I've done a couple in the past, but then I always forget it's an option! In fact, I have one that John wrote to one of you flagged for just such a post... I should go dig that up! Thanks!

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  27. Never say no to a nap. That helps with burnout.
    Go on vacation from electronics - I know you just did a version of this, what I mean for me is that when I go on vacation, no electronics come with me. I don't check anything or watch the news or read newspapers. When I go on vacation (usually to Disneyworld) I leave my 'world' behind.

    Go for walks. Upright and mobile and outside, a great reliever of stress. Or as they said in the olden days "Stop and smell the roses.".

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  28. You've said from the beginning that Epbot was for you, to share what you love, so keep doing Epbot the way that it makes you happy. I love reading your posts, because it just seems like, well, you (not that I know you or anything... although my daughter Lily and I did meet you and John at a CW signing during a snowstorm in Boston and you both seem like people I'd like to hang out with... but I digress). Your enthusiasm for your projects and for the things you love shines through in your writing, which is why I come back when I've stopped reading some other blogs.
    Oh, and feel free to tweet, post, etc. about Lily and Tonks. I'm owned by two cats myself, so I like to know that I'm not alone!

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    1. Mary Anne! I was at that snowstorm on Boston too! I drove down from Maine and was excited to meet Jen and John and his family. I sat right next to the "before and after" cake and from where I was, I could only the the "after" side and could not figure out why anyone would bring such an awful cake for Jen! I was excited to meet you Jen, I even told you I was in love with John, (but not in a stalker kind of way). I always think you guys are my real friends, I love the relationship you two have.

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  29. It's always great to see you here, with your fun pictures, creative mind, and kind words.

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  30. Candy Crush is E-vil, but you rock hard core. Glad you are back in Blogerville!

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  31. You rock, Jen! I think you should do what you love and share what you want - when you love it and want to share it. Don't let anyone else dictate your fun. We're here to share in the joy you spread, and if people don't like it they can go to one of the other billion blog sites out there. We come for you and your unabashed joy in the things you create and love. By the way, I love the images you chose. They are so "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey". ♥

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    1. I was thinking the exact same thing! I was reading this post...at least the bold part...in a half whispered voice.

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  32. So glad you're back and you've learned some things to keep you around! I look forward to your posts, but I won't be pissed if there's time in between them. :-) Okimdonegoes backintoanonscreen

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  33. You are brilliant & caring & generous.

    Level 65 of Candy Crush sucks donkey butt.

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  34. Regarding email, one thing I've found that helps (and I don't know how feasible this is for you) is printing out the emails that give me the most trouble. I feel free to mark specific parts of it, decide what I want to reply, and then turn it into a cohesive email back on the computer. I've found that I can think and respond more clearly when I have the words in physical form, rather than having to scroll up and down on the computer.

    Maybe, depending on the emails, you could also decides that ones with certain characteristics/content can be answered by John or another helper (and either forwarded, or pushed to a specific folder if they have access to your email), and/or sorting emails into folders for yourself based on what they contain/what kind of response you want to give, so when you tackle them, you can tackle several of the same type at the same time rather than having to shift gears.

    (Obviously, this works easier when it's impersonal job stuff--I devote way too much time on single emails at work--and I don't know what kind of emails you routinely get.)

    Also, while the frequency of your posts on Epbot is amazing, I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I'd much rather you cut back and be sane/healthy!

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  35. Jen, I, too, am glad you've returned to Epbot. I totally understand your need for a sabbatical (sometimes I wish I could take one, but most employers wouldn't understand a month off work without a valid reason...). Anyway, I've enjoyed Epbot from the beginning, in spite of not having one single crafty bone in my body - all the more to admire your AMAZING talent! And CW has been my morning go-to, as so many others do. Not sure what I'd do without my morning fix of Jen, John, Sharyn, Haiku Joy, and the rest of the gang.

    I'm not a blogger, but I LOVE your suggestion to leave positive feedback for bloggers, small websites, Facebook pages, and the like. Who doesn't appreciate positive reinforcement, after all? I don't comment on every one of your posts, but I'll make an attempt to participate more fully here and on CW, as well as other sites.

    @Nagzilla: I love your idea of a Q&A by Jen!

    In closing, keep on writing and creating and posting and all the other things you love to do. The world is a better place because of you and your fabulous work!

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  36. I feel like I should say something insightful about this post, but I got distracted by the candy crush saga comment. Level 65 is a nightmare I was on that level for nearly six months!

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  37. I'm so glad you've come back, and really enjoyed your sentiments on this point. I've been learning that reading comments on on-line articles is a trigger for me, because there's so much hate out there. I like your idea about posting more positive things. I was raised in the Roman Catholic faith, and there's a whole thing about giving up something for Lent, and people like to give up things like chocolate, but even though I'm not a practicing RC anymore, I like the idea of giving up something more meaningful like non-constructive criticism or gossip and so forth. Things which might make you a better person or the world a slightly better place. Spreading more positive comments would be a wonderful New Year's resolution or way to observe Lent. Thanks!

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  38. I love the internet and all its lovely weird wonderfulness, but there are times I just have to walk away. Which is really hard for me because I want to read everything, including hundreds of comments. It gets particularly bad when the comments devolve into a hive of nasty negativity and ignorance. I have gotten much better at policing myself on reading everything (I mean when I first got into Twitter I would try to read every tweet on my feed, WTH was I thinking!?). I still struggle with the part on people's terrible comments though. I'll be raging at the insanity until I make a disgusted outburst, where my boyfriend will then ask "If its making you so mad why do you keep reading it?" To which I think, "yep he's right" and I finally close it and don't go back.

    I think your call on letting go of comment moderation is a good one. It will save you the trouble of having to spend so much time on it. You have a wonderful community and I am sure if something really terrible is there, they will let you know so you can remove it quick enough.

    "I write and re-write (and re-write!) the same pithy sentiment over and over until I just delete it because who really cares what my cat's doing, anyway?" - THIS a million times this! I am so so guilty of that, it's part of the reason that I lurk so much (though I am trying to be less of a lurker now). By the time I get something written, half the time I don't care anymore. My solution to this lately has been reread it once, if it makes sense, hit send! If it falls flat or offends someone, well I will deal with that when it comes.

    My best advice, just do what makes you happy. Your joy and passion comes out in your writing when you are, which is why we are all here reading you now, to share in what you love. :)

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  39. Don’t sweat the small stuff. I would to say I live by it but I can’t – complications get in the way – but the one thing I am learning as I get older and life takes it twists and turns is that the small stuff all that nonsense that gets in the way of who you want to be….(and this is so different to the person that everyone –including yourself – thinks you are)is just that small. Life will hit you with big stuff too and you deal with that as best you can, but the rest are just bumps. You are only here once and whilst you may not do everything right at least you can say you did it as yourself – or at least the best version of you that you can manage. May not stop you burning out but you will get to the where you are meant to be as yourself and no one else which has to be a bonus right?

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  40. Jen, I'm glad you're back. I'm going to try to be a more cheerful internet presence too!

    -L

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  41. I have been a reader since day one of EPBOT. I have loved every post you have written. I rarely comment (like 4 times ever) and I know that praise is essential to everyone. This is my commitment to spreading around the happy feelings. :)

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  42. I'll gladly take one post a week from Happy Jen than 5 posts a week from I-have-to-do-this-but-I'm-miserable-and-want-to-quit Jen!!!

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  43. I love this blog, and i am happy i stepped out of lurkdom and started commenting :) (i have been a lurker from the start)
    You do what you need to do to be happy, and all that jazz! its what is most important. I like the craft/costume posts you do and the funny life bits and well.. ok everything :) It has inspired me to make a halloween costume (as best i can with the budget i have) I will be 24 by halloween and i have never done anything like it .. now to decide between The Phantom (from Phantom Of the Opera) Or Rainbow Brite.. soo haard to choose!

    I think you have set up some great tips for other bloggers and I kinda like Nagzilla's idea up there. a Q&A post/email reply it seems like a cool beans kinda idea :)

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    1. Rainbow Brite! RAINBOW BRITE!!

      Then send me pictures. :D

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  44. I found you originally through CW and was drawn in by the posts of your everyday life. I love the pictures and stories you tell about John, yourself and your parents. Epbot makes me happy, thank you!

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  45. Jen,
    I'm happy your sabbatical was both refreshing and informative! As a dedicated reader who checks the Epbot home page multiple times a day, I can say with confidence that we readers want to read what you want to post! And personally, I LOVE your tutorials and would love to see more of them, even if it means that you post less in between! Just keep doing what you need to do for you and for john, and we readers will love you for it all the same!

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  46. Just here to say you're awesome and I'm glad your time off helped you feel better and put things in perspective. So glad you're back, especially with the DragonCon posts! I live the Cons vicariously through you until I can afford to go to one myself. I've saved up all your tips and tricks so I won't be a total mess at it!!

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  47. You are awesome and I LOVE reading your blog. Keep it up and try to ignore the haters. :)

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  48. You learned some great things! There are days that I get to the end of and think "I didn't accomplish anything, but look how pretty my Pinterest boards are!" I started quilting again awhile ago and have really enjoyed that. It gave me that same kind of drive and purpose in the "real world" like you were talking about!

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  49. It is just so wonderful to have you back! We really missed you!! As I'm in the process of designing my science education website, this post came at an amazing time! Thank you!!

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  50. Wonderful post, and I'm so glad you are back (looking forward the house remodel!). I've lurked here for too long, but this post has inspired me to pipe up and say, I love this blog!

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  51. Jen, I love your blog and, in as non-creepy a way possible, you and John . I loved it just as much when you posted sporadically as I did when you posted regularly. I was so happy you realised you could step away from the computer for a while to recharge, but was sad to realise your batteries were so depleted that you needed two months off. Please continue to look after yourself and prioritise your well being. This is your online home, we're just guests. There's nothing wrong with not inviting us in for a three course dinner party every now and then.

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  52. I think you are fantastic no matter what you do. Sure, it's great to read Epbot multiple times in one week, but it's also nice to go away for awhile, and then come back a month later and see that I missed two fantastic posts, instead of 20 okay posts. So, you do what you have to do to keep you (and John and the cats) happy. And we readers will work on keeping ourselves happy too. Because when you are happy, we are happy. We especially don't like to read about your burn-out because of our demands. We love you, Jen!

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  53. So. Just wanted to say. You CAN get 3 stars on level 65 without spending any money! Though I'm convinced it's all luck of the draw of the candy! So... keep playing it until the stars and candy line up to give you three stars.

    And that is my non-lurking comment. :D

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  54. Have I mentioned how glad I am that you're back? 'Cause I am! :)

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  55. Jen, I really appreciate you, and your sense of humor. We have similar tastes in sci-fi and geeky stuff, we're similar height (woot! Hobbits of the world represent!) and we both love crafting things.

    I loved cake wrecks since the first time I read it. My KIDS love cake wrecks and they ask to look in the bakery case at local grocery stores to see if there are any "wrecks" on display. I intentionally ordered a wrecktastic cake for my son on one of his birthdays. He loved it.

    I completely understand your need to take a break, and I'm also very glad you're back. I'm totally jealous of your mad cosplay skills, and that you got to go to dragon*con this year. I was doing something very worthwhile, taking care of a sick toddler (the youngest, cutest whovian I've ever met, my son) but I missed being able to go. Someday, maybe my kiddos will all be grown and we'll make costumes together. I loved seeing you and your mom dressed up, that was fantastic!

    Thanks for sharing little bits of your life with us. Who knows? Maybe one day we'll bump into you at Dragon*con. That would be epic!

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  56. I really missed you during your sabbatical but I'm happy it was such a good experience for you. One great thing about the internet is that there is something for everyone. I recently got into growing an herb garden (okay, it's really just one basil plant, but that is a herb) and I have found all new things and people on the internet. So if/when it gets you down - diversify! Expand your interests! Also, I got an email from you once. I shall treasure it forever!

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  57. I've always said my minimum goal is to post 2 times a month on my blog. When I exceed that minimum, it's just a bonus. I don't like feeling the pressure to blog and I think it helps. And I think my small group of loyal followers enjoy the surprise of seeing my posts show up because they never know when they will be. (And tutorials take for.ev.ER to compose!)

    I also find that Instagram and Twitter give me the more instant gratification and often help me come up with better posts when I do blog.

    As for comments, I only moderate first-time commenters. Main reason I do this is so I'm sure not to miss someone new. Once someone gets past that point (and so far, I've only deleted spam), their next comments post right away.

    Just keep doing what you are doing and love what you are doing. Your posts are like little gifts when they show up in my reader. =)

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  58. Jen, I'm so glad you're back. Epbot has been personally important to me, so thank you. (Not that you should ever feel obligated to keep going for anyone except yourself!) Reading this post, I was reminded that when I was an English major in college and then a law student, I had SO MUCH reading to do all the time that I neglected my own personal pleasure reading. It was a big mistake. Reading for pleasure is how I escape, and I am a much happier person when I take time for it. We spend so much time thinking about what we *should* do, we often forget to take care of ourselves and do the things that really make us happy. You have inspired me by your example.

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  59. I agree with all the 'Hooray you're back but don't post anything you don't absolutely want to post' cheers above.

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  60. Welcome back, Jen. BTW, I am firmly convinced that the makers of Candy Crush are evil sadists.

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    1. They are! They REALLY are! Not sure I'll ever move beyond the mid-70s, since my frustration level is rising. Ha!

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  61. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I completely understand where you are coming from with writing (and re-writing)something because you are worried you are going to say the wrong thing. I do that all the time on different forums and blogs and sometimes I end up completely deleting the post/comment because I am worried about how I am going to sound. I call it posting anxiety.

    And I have not seen the point of trying to get all the stars on Candy Crush, I just want to get to the next level.

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  62. Another long time lurker here. :)

    Thanks for sharing what you learned, and I'm glad you're back! Your thoughts on comment moderation are particularly helpful. I'm not sure what settings I have on the goofy little project blog I recently started, but I had the mindset that moderating comments would be the best way to ensure peace and order... until now. I hadn't really thought about how very un-peaceful such a task would be for me.

    You and John are amazing! Thank you so much for sharing so many projects, thoughts, and experiences with us!

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  63. I actually have a comment blocker on my browser, so I don't have to see all the ignorance. :) And there are certain online magazines and blogs that I used to enjoy but no longer visit--the issues are still relevant and the perspective is still valuable, but like you point out, the anger and tone can just wear you down even though that's not the author's intention.

    On a personal note, I completely understand your need for a Sabbatical...I have had anxiety issues since childhood, and I finally went in today to get professional help. :) Good to know I'm not alone!

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  64. As we say in my house, the Internet is Caketown (Ref: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caaQ4VT9GY8). Which, to us, basically means a conglomerate of the random, the awesome and the just-plain-ridiculous.

    I used to moderate and maintain social media presence for a major corporation. It burned me out something fierce. Sparing all the gory and potentially boring details, I survived because I started forcing myself away from the computer/smartphone for periods of time every day. I even went so far as to schedule it into Outlook. It wasn't easy, and it still isn't. IMHO the false sense of urgency that our social society has created is completely bunk. (Remember when we used to write letters? I loved the anticipation of an answer!) But, I digress...

    I typically received hundreds of emails per day. All of them “urgent.” I would go through them and flag them as I went, depending on which required a lengthy response and which I could reply with a short answer. AND I also created something of an email cheat-sheet for myself, where I would pre-craft answers to some of the most common questions I received. I rarely ever just copied-and-pasted directly from there, but knowing that it was already written gave my brain a sense of relief when things were particularly tight.

    :)

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  65. You're right - to make the world a better place, we have to be positive and stop cutting each other down. Say one kind thing to someone everyday. I thoroughly enjoy your posts. You've given me permission to let my geek flag fly. To not be ashamed to let people know what drives me.
    A tip of the hat goes out to you and to everyone that reads your posts and derives pleasure from connecting with you on a daily basis.

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  66. While I don't have any advice for you, I just wanted to say how much I love Epbot. I also heart CW, but THIS is where your wonderful personality really shines. I feel like I could be your friend if we ever met...we have all of the same loves (particularly Disney, and I am horribly jealous you live close to it) and I have discovered so many wonderful Youtube videos, artists, and webpages through Epbot. I also heavily admire your creativity and adore reading about what you have done to your home.

    So please, keep being you. I check Epbot daily and look forward to reading whatever you post, whenever you get an itch to do so. So glad you're back. :)

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  67. Jen, I love how honest you are - you are easily my favorite blogger in the whole of the interwebz, and no matter what you upload here, I am going to love it, because YOU so clearly love it.

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  68. A long time lurker who loves your blog for all the reasons that everyone else has already said. Which is why I'm a lurker - because usually I just want to say 'ditto' to what everyone else is saying. But maybe I should remember to say thank you more often for taking the time to create and share something that so many people enjoy and connect with. So thanks.

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  69. I have no idea how this will work, as tomorrow is my trial (I guess I can write back in a few weeks to let you know?) but I have decided each Wednesday I am not allowed on the internet (other than what I have to do at work, of course). Not even allowed to pay bills. I'm hoping it will give me enough time to read and work on my own creative things, and break my internet obsession.

    I think having scheduled breaks each week will help me, and it would probably help you too (maybe). I'll let you know if it does!

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  70. Jen,

    I remember being surprised (pleasantly) about how often you were posting this Spring. By all means post less, this is supposed to be the fun blog, not the job. You can't post about fun if you aren't having any. I actually don't share many of your interests, but I love reading about how much you enjoy them. Please be gentle with yourself, you're the only Jen we've got!

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  71. Jen, I suffer from anxiety and I have had to make major modifications in how I approach my online time. I have MANY interests, and I have come to realize that I simply can not follow blogs on everything I'm interested in, keep up with Facebook, read all of my email, etc., etc., etc. About three weeks ago, I had to give up Facebook completely. As someone with anxiety/OCD, I felt compelled to read everything on my timeline, follow links on everything I found interesting (which was A LOT!!!), make comments, go back and read comments on my comments--it was all very overwhelming and I was spending about four (or more)hours a day on it. A few years ago, I had to give up reading one of my favorite blogs because they had too many great posts (at least ten per day), and I simply could not keep up and I felt anxious. Your blogs are great. They are funny, engaging, and interesting, and you don't overwhelm us with too many posts to read. So I understand the need to pull away to regain perspective. You are doing a great job. I hope to meet up with you one of these days at WDW.

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    1. Lisa, you just described my every day, just about! Ha! I'm a completionist, so I HAVE to read every tweet, every FB post, etc. That's why I keep weaning down my list of FB friends to recluse-like levels, and I'm equally ruthless with Twitter. Anyway, glad I'm not the only one, and I hope you'll let me buy you a Citrus Swirl at the MK someday!

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  72. Geek out -- is that the Margaret Todd?? My heart lives on Mount Desert Island, and that you've been to (or maybe been to) my happy place makes me all glowy. :)

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    1. Oh, my photos? Those were taken off the coast of Maine on a touristy boat trip several years back, but I couldn't give you any specifics! o.0 There was a lovely fog, and even though that was before I had a "good" camera the pics have remained some of my favorites. :)

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  73. I have a tip for emails that take too long.
    Regard your reply as ordinary conversation. Just write what's on top of your mind and end with a spontaneous greeting and press send. Don't read through it, don't hesitate. Write it all in one go and press that button! When you're talking to someone you don't get to look your sentence over and rearrange it before letting your reciever hear it, but from what I understand you do just fine talking anyway (and don't you dare argue there, people love you for a reason).
    So stop looking replies over and thinking too much while writing, that extra hour doesn't make it that much better anyway.

    I used to be the same, thinking too long about what to write, changing what I wrote and almost never getting all the way to send before giving up on the whole idea, but since I stopped overthinking and started pressing that button I send about four times as many posts in about half the time.

    Good luck

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  74. I am just so glad you are back! I love EPBOT and Cakewrecks! I also didn't get to go to Dragon*Con this year and even when I got to go last year, your pictures were 100 times better than mine, so I thoroughly enjoyed them. :) I think you've got a positive outlook on blogging and if it took 2 months of "Jen Time" to get there, then I'm glad for it.

    Also, I'm super thankful for your book reviews because I just finished the last book of the Wheel of Time series and I had no idea what to read next. I'm reading Terrier and so far, it's pretty good - not quite sure where the story is going yet, but I'm listening to it on audiobook. I'm also listening to the book I Am Second, which is a non-fiction book that is pretty awesome. It's about the life change various people - from regular every day people to famous people, have experienced with Jesus.

    So glad you are back to writing again!

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  75. We're all so glad you're back. These are great tips and I'm glad you were able to recharge your batteries. Have been greatly enjoying all of the awesome posts since your return. Please don't stress about e-mail replies!!! We love what you share and love to share in return, with no expectations attached save for mutual joy and love. :)

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  76. Thank you Jen. I'd say more, but it's already taken me almost an hour just to write this much, so I think I'll let other people say the rest.

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  77. I guess I better stop lurking. :) This is all really good advice and very well formulated.

    For myself, I've got a couple of blogs that I know will always make me smile (Epbot is one of them). When I don't feel I can take any negativity, I limit myself to reading only those for a few days (and I avoid the comments). It really helps to balance things out, without feeling completely disconnected.

    As for writing emails, I usually type a first draft and then just leave it for an hour or 2 without reading over it even once. After an hour I come back with a fresh perspective and a much better eye for what might come across wrong and I can usually correct it much faster. If I don't do that I just get stuck thinking along the same sentences without being able to think of some alternative way to say something.

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  78. Not so much a blogger here as a forum-ite (and former forum moderator at that). Moderating was fun for me- I love enforcing rules- but I found the job burning me out, fast, and on that I have some (hopefully helpful) tips.

    For me, what really aiding my sanity was simply not forcing myself to do work for 3 hours straight with NO break. My eyeballs would fry after roughly 2 hours of staring at the screen, and my mind would disintegrate soon after (and since I moderated, my hope in humanity). No matter how much you love your job, taking short breaks every hour or so is nessassary to prevent burn-out. If my eyes could handle it, I would watch a stupid YT video or browse a site I loved (tvtropes, pintrest), for 15 minutes before jumping back in. If its been several hours on the computer, I would get up and go on a walk, get a snack, something that requires moving. For me, I could return refreshed to what I was doing, and thus go longer than if I, out of a feeling of obligation, bulldozed for hours on end.

    And sorta like above (and maybe not good for work ethic, but still): don't force yourself to do something well after your sick of it. It will only breed ill will and make you dread what you should love. If possible, swap to another project that needs work, and do that for a few hours (example: reading emails, then swapping to writing a funny post, to researching bad cakes, etc). Even if you don't get burned-out forever, you can burn out for a day. And while daily burnouts aren't detrimental, for me, they made me dread doing my job.

    TL;DR: don't force yourself to work so much that you end up burning. This is a job you love, it shouldn't be a chore or feel like a chore. Yes, work has to get done, even unpleasant work. But there are ways of shuffling things around so its much more bearable.

    And Jen, about the trolls: they are usually needy people who are simply throwing a temper tantrum. I don't know how much they bother you, if at all, but if they do, try remembering that. I found it helped my faith in humanity, at the very least (and made it easier to ignore them).

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  79. Jen, I came to this blog from Cake Wrecks and though I don't read the Wrecks quite as often now, I never miss a post here, because every oen of them is honest, insightful and positive. Thank you so much for writing here.

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  80. But seriously, as much as I missed your posts during your time away, I'm SO HAPPY that you took some time for yourself and got refocused and re-energized creatively. This is by far my favorite blog on all the internets, and you've inspired me to rekindle my own love for creating through your creations. Welcome back and keep up the great posts. Not because you HAVE to, but because you are INSPIRED to. :-)

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  81. Not a blogger, but I had to take an internet vacation myself because there was just too much "BAD" out there. I stayed off of news sites, Facebook, Google+ -- the only three places I would go were my happy escape websites: Pinterest, Cakewrecks and Epbot. Thank you, thank you, thank you for creating such a positive, creative space. Really :)

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  82. Well I just wrote a long comment about how I just wrote a post on my blog about the realization that I was forcing myself to follow rules I made up, but it didn't post. If anyone's interested: http://fortheloveofscifi.wordpress.com

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  83. THANK YOU for crafting and blogging! I am encouraged by your focus and passion.

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  84. I'm stuck on level 65 also and I will not pay money! Glad you are back!

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  85. This is good. I'm glad you took the time to sit back and figure out what you needed to do for you. I think people often plug away at something they love until it turns into something they hate and they never stop anywhere on the way to figure out what's going wrong. I'm glad you did before it was too late. I'm also glad that you shared this as well. I know I can be drained all too easily by all the grump on the internet and it's good to remember that I have control over my time here and some times not only is it okay to say no, I NEED to say no to reading or clicking on various things.

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  86. Great job! And great advice too! Glad you are back!

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  87. I am delighted you are back. Even more so that your craft ideas are back.
    How do I control the "time suck of the INternet"? Setting a kitchen timer to 20 minutes helps. Allowing only 1 day a week to wander around finding oddball sites. And yes, I understand the need to create. A day without cross stitch or tatting for me is a very, very bad day.

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  88. I'm more of an observer in all situations, especially the internet, but I wanted to take your positive commenting advice! Following Cakewrecks led me to Epbot, and now I love both! I read Epbot because I love your personality and attitude.

    I can totally relate to your lengthy email writing. I wrote you an email once years ago with a fun link, and took forever to make sure it was just right before I sent it. Then I was so flattered when you replied! I never realized that reply might have been as difficult for you as that original email was for me :-)

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  89. In the spirit of your blog today I'll post this - because I've also recently decided to tell people what I think instead of only just thinking it, and I'm ok with posting instead of emailing. :)

    I love you. I love what you do for girls and geekiness. I love that you have bolstered my confidence to take my 3 geeky girls and go to DragonCon one day. Maybe next year, if I can get dh on board with it. I follow very few blogs, but Epbot is the exception. Keep being true to yourself and everything else will fall into place.

    And if I had any idea how to post my URL, I'd do it, but instead I have to post under anonymous, so I'll add my name at the bottom.

    Lori Jo

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  90. Jen, you are amazing. Thank you for writing this blog and sharing what you do with all of us. I am a hardcore lurker but I read evey post and every tweet, lol. It never occurs to me to comment. I think we would all agree that we would rather you write fewer posts about whatever you love insyead of more that you don't. Same goes for email. If it stresses you out, don't do it!!! :-) Theway I keep from burnout is if I have something I want or need to share I do and if I just don't feel like it, I
    don't. Even if everyone is waiting for a new post or pictures or whatever, it is your life in the end and your happiness. You have to take care of you first, and if that means taking a few extra days to post something because you are living real life, so be it!

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  91. No wisdom for you, but I just want to say that I'm so glad you're back and feeling re-energized! Good for you for recognizing that you needed to step away for awhile. I think I can speak for your readers when I say that while we love to read your posts, you don't OWE us anything. You keep on blogging for your own enjoyment, and we'll keep on following!

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  92. I'm just so glad you're back! & you outdid yourself with that fabulous White Rabbit outfit!
    Love from Theresa in Tennessee

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  93. You are right...original content posts are my favorites! And having a physical goal to work on is a great motivator. Take regular sabbaticals of any length to recharge yourself every few months. Do whatever works for YOU.

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  94. As someone who has followed Epbot from the beginning, I'd have to agree that your tutorials and the stuff you love to write about (plus the pictures of DisneyWorld!) are my favorite types of posts, because you always seem so happy and glad to share it with us. I love this blog, and CW. And also as someone who has been contemplating starting a small blog with my own tutorials and random posts, these tips are very helpful. I'll also try to not just lurk so much around here. ;) As for tips, I'd suggest taking regular sabbaticals. Recharge more often so things don't get so overwhelming, creating a crash-and-burn scenario. Just my thought on it. Love you guys!

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  95. Very glad you are back and enjoying crafting and life! : )

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  96. Oh, yeah--there's definitely no way to advance in Candy Crush without some cash: http://www.eugenewei.com/blog/2013/8/24/the-ethics-of-candy-crush-saga

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  97. As a fellow blogger, I have to say I agree tremendously with you. It's even trickier for me because I'm balancing a seamstress business and a blog and if one gets really busy the other suffers.

    I have a hard enough time maintaining 2-3 posts per week, I can't imagine five. And I only moderate comments on posts over two weeks old (which is a blogger setting.) It manages to catch most of the spam and approving the occasional comment on an old tutorial is easy.

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  98. I tend to lurk a lot, because I need very long to formulate even a little comment, and tend to delete it when I doubt anybody would be interested. I realized that right now, while reading this post - because I'd love you to tweet about your cats. So - I decided to write spontaneously for once, because I'd like to be one more drop to drown out the trolls. I might even forego the preview button, if I#m feeling brave.

    I love to read the comments on Epbot and CW, they have often restored my faith in humanity. But I know getting sucked into the internet, especially comments. I finally doodled a post-it reading "still interested?" and stuck it on my monitor. Whenever I get distracted (cats are great distractors) I am reminded to at least think about whether I really want to read this - mostly the answer is no. I disabled saving tabs when closing the browser, that helped too. And I scedule evenings off the computer.

    tl,dr: Yay, you're back and doing fine - thank you!

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  99. I have nothing profound to say; just that I'm out here, I really, really enjoy both your blogs, I love your aesthetic, your sense of humor, and your common sense. I wish you the very best always. Your victories over the anxiety/panic thing inspire me to try harder, it's one of my ogres, too.

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  100. I've been a fan of this site for a long time, mostly due to unique perspectives, general cleverness, and understated humor. I love the steampunk crafts, and the various projects such as the crack house. So much of what you do is just cool and not everyday.

    That said, as a person who has been in customer service and support roles for many years (multiple industries), I believe there is a huge disconnect from reality with people commenting on the internet. People say things they NEVER would say in person. People have attitudes and outrages that just wouldn't fly in a real life situation (maybe get them beaten!). Point is, its not a matter of being thicker-skinned, but rather of not developing "online empathy". Save your emotions for what matters, and just tune-out online negativity. Same way you might tune out random graffiti spray painted on a dumpster- its just not worth the time to understand it.

    This leads into another longtime internet concept "dont feed the trolls". Tune em out, don't give them any satisfaction that they even influenced you for a second.

    I've been in a role where I agonized over every email, and felt that I had to reply. One day I realized that the site wouldn't crash, the sun would still rise, if I didn't reply.

    Glad you're back!

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  101. Guilty of lurking...but wanted to comment that I am definitely happy/ fully satisfied with not having daily posts - and I loved your old ones (and new, but your old ones sucked me in in the first place). My favorites are your crafts - inspires me to do more of my own! That's it - no reply necessary and have a great day!

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  102. delurking to say that I love both blogs, and that through epbot you have allowed me to experience many things that I have had the chance to before, like the joy of going to a con and helped me discover steam punk and Dr. who, both of which I am sharing with my kids. to teach the future generations. do what ever you need to to keep posting, even if the posts slow down. thanks for the happys, D

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  103. Delurking after reading both Cakes Wrecks and Epbot from the beginning to tell you how much I love love LOVE both sites. You have brought me to tears, with laughter and from empathy, Jen. Thank you for everything you do.

    As a blogger who's been going for 5+ years myself (and I post nearly every day), I constantly have to remind myself that a. I must do it for myself and b. my blog won't be interesting to read anyway if I don't step away and DO things in real life. I don't have to be "on" all the time.

    In conclusion: rock on with your bad (in a good way) self. :)

    Cheers,
    Sheila

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  104. I'm SO GLAD you're back. This is my favorite blog in the entire world and one day, I WILL track you down at DragonCon and be all steampunk. Did you know that you introduced me to steampunk? Well, you did.
    Thank you for being the best blogger ever! :)

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  105. Jen, your blog makes me feel like I've got a best friend I just haven't met in person yet. I don't mind at all if you don't post every day; if anything, it just makes me more eager to check back the next day, and the day after that. Yay!

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  106. Yup, you inspired me.
    I left a very honest thankful comment over yonder. Thankful to blogger, honest me/kinda tearing up and glad I can't take it back.
    I'm glad you're back. I love the goofy and amazing crafty and geeky fun you share over here.
    I missed your voice on CW, too
    I can tell.
    So welcome back... And I appreciate and encourage any pace you care to keep.
    Have you seen the trailer for Escape From Tomorrow? #DizGeek

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  107. Glad you are feeling better and that you learned some things along the way. :) I am always happy to see when you post, I don't follow many blogs (The Yarn Harlot, yours & Aunt Peaches to be precise)but sometimes you actually post more often then I am at my computer!! I know how I agonize over the written word, can't imagine the effort that goes into posting as much as you do.

    One thing I do, in real life, because strangely I think it matters more there than on-line, is never let a nice thought or compliment go unspoken. Perhaps I am mistaken about that,particularly if you spend a good portion of your time at the computer.

    If I think someone looks really fabulous or gosh that was nice, I try never to keep that as a mental note only and make sure it passes my lips. I am sure I am more gregarious than you but you could give it a try. It really sets you up to thinking nice thoughts and looking for the good in people and situations. It is a bit of the Pollyanna glad game lol.

    I re-read that book before I gave it to my daughters and I hadn't realized that I have been playing that game my whole life. Funny how books impact you at such a deep level and you might not even recognize it. That is a good game to play, re-read some beloved books you had as a kid and try and spot how they made you the person you are today.

    As far as Candy Crush goes, sit down with Jon and the both of you try and beat that level together, my husband's insight was what got me past that particular level lol.

    Enjoy yourself lovely lady. We all enjoy you the most when you are having a good time anyway!

    Hugs,
    Yet Another Jenn (in Forest Grove)

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  108. I can't tell you how much hope this gives me. That Epbot may yet carry on is one thing, but that level 65 in Candy Crush is indeed beatable at all without spending money?? That alone gives me the strength to renew my efforts! Some day I will ascend to the three-star goal, but not for a long while yet...

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  109. I completely agree about the "email debt" issue! But that said, I just wanted to comment how much it meant to me to get an email back from you the one time I did write you. :) Thank you Jen!

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  110. I'm not sure if I ever commented before, but I really love your blog, Jen. I read it both for the content (as a wannabe crafter who is intimidated by the world of crafting, I appreciate the inspiration and the tutorials) and for your personality. I love how positive and real and honest you keep things here.

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  111. I will stop being a lurker too.. Ahem: Hello! I really like you and this blog. Kepp up the good (and geeky) work.

    //Åsa

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  112. Hi I am Lucie, I will stop being a lurker too! That is really good advice which I will really try to remember :) I find you and this blog really inspiring. Keep up the good work x

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  113. I love your blog and your kindness that you spread to the world through your blog! Thanks for coming back from sabbatical.

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  114. I love both of your blogs, but this one makes me feel like you're a friend, not just an anonymous blogger. The only tip I have is that if right next to your email address you say, I might not respond, then it's really okay not to respond. Some of us (me!me!) just aren't comfortable posting things out there in public, but want to let you know how much we enjoy your blog. I'll try not to be a lurker though, and comment more.

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  115. I love both of your blogs, but this one makes me feel like you're a friend, not just an anonymous blogger. The only tip I have is that if right next to your email address you say, I might not respond, then it's really okay not to respond. Some of us (me!me!) just aren't comfortable posting things out there in public, but want to let you know how much we enjoy your blog. I'll try not to be a lurker though, and comment more.

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  116. On a personal level, I definitely enjoy your posts and love coming back a few times a week to find new ones, but...

    I'm also glad you (or John at least) are still answering e-mails because that gives me the opportunity to meet up with you in person next week at Disney! Which is a really awesome thing for you guys to do in the first place :) I don't use Facebook and my twitter is locked, so unless you magically decided to follow me, I wouldn't have been able to ask any other way.

    But in the end - you need to manage your life and your time and your online presence the way that is right for *you*. If people get upset so be it. As they say, haters gonna hate.

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  117. Could you try installing a *submission* link on here somewhere- things like photos or links people want to send- keep it separate form your email queue..perhaps something that someone else even goes through for you.

    perhaps it would seem to insensitive- but you could perhaps even have a page with different submissions- ones for photos of kids.. book recommendations.. and personal comments and letters...or whatever- you could pick and choose what energy and time gets devoted to each category when going through it- some might be more time sensitive.. and many could be subcontracted out to loving friends and helpers...but like i said- maybe that seems to impersonal.. i dunno... we *want* you to be sane you know.. it serves our collective interest to make things easier for you.

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  118. Thank you Jen for all your time that you have already spent over the years in writing these blogs and letting me and the rest of the internet get to know how awesome you are and be introduced to other awesome things because of you. Cake Wrecks brought me laughs and when you began epbot it made me feel connected to a whole new and grand community. You rock at what you do and your kindness makes me want to be a kinder person. I have wished more than a few times that Alabama would host some rocking comic cons so I could meet you but here's hoping for one day!

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  119. Oh snap, you had to call out us lurkers... I'm so ashamed. ;-)
    But, honestly, I never really thought about the fact that the nice people could nullify the trolls just by actually commenting instead of lurking, thinking our thoughts, however nice, are unimportant. So, from here on out, I solemnly swear I am up to no- I mean, I will not lurk. As much. Or I'll try to. At least. Oh, the sunlight, it burns!

    Anyway, thanks for continuing awesome posts, glad you're back, and thank you for making me and so many other people feel, not that we're not weird, because we are, but that most of, if not all, the awesome people ARE weird, and we're in good company. I was cheerfully shocked when you first mentioned that John was the sewing guru in your house, as I am in mine; I taught my wife to sew, and she made a brilliant pillowcase, but otherwise she leaves such things to me. And, everything you post, from your mediums of choice to Disney to Star Trek to social awkwardness - well, its just been awesome to find out that we are all so alike and not so alone.
    One day, we might even make Dragon Con (since it is only a half hour away), or a meet up at Disney (Oh, November, get here soon)!

    Thank you!!!!!!!

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  120. I know the feeling of retyping a word or phrase once, twice, ten times, always in fear that I will unknowingly upset someone unintentionally.

    Just wanted to let you know that I love seeing the tutorials here, the reviews, the everything you want to post. It's obvious that you have a passion for what you're writing about! It is so dang inspirational.

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  121. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your personal stories, such as this one, so openly and honestly. We live in a world where people are quick to flaunt and even exaggerate their successes while ignoring and hiding away even the faintest whiff of struggle (social media sites having made this scores worse in my opinion). And each and every one of these "look at what great thing i did now" posts can easily make you feel inferior and isolated, when the reality is that we're all struggling in one way or another. So it's refreshing to go online and read a post that admits that life can be hard, and even give a few friendly tips on the matter.

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  122. Like many of the previous posters, I've come here from Cake Wrecks. I am also an infrequent commenter. I struggle with what to say, how best to say it, worry about who will misunderstand or become offended, and then most often just end up not commenting because it is overwhelming and stressful. I really like your suggestion to be positive and leave positive comments. It's also good to know that quick comments are okay (I know this one isn't).

    I love both of your blogs. I enjoy the crafts you share here and I read Cake Wrecks every morning. It's good to have a laugh before work! ;) I am always dreaming of different things to do/crafts to make, and really enjoy reading your how-to posts.

    I also want to thank you for sharing so honestly about your life. Its a good feeling to learn that there are successful people with issues similar to me - it gives me hope that I can achieve the things I dream about.

    I'm glad that you took the time to take care of yourself and feel refreshed.

    Emily

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  123. My grandma was a minister's wife, and she used to say (probably because you go to a lot of funerals with that job) that people ought to "send roses to the living." I like myself better when I live that more. So here's why I reccy your site to all and sundry: Yes, it's got all the geeky, girly, goofing off stuff we love so well, but it has those stuff in an atmosphere of happiness and kindness. Of lighting a candle instead of cursing the darkness. So in your honor (and grandmas) here's my new motto: 10 kind, praising comments before I can write anything else (critical or informational).

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  124. I think your first "lesson" is the most important one.

    I'm a member of a certain political party and for a long time read everything I could, listened to the appropriate pundits, etc. Sometime last year (during the election) I found that I was just miserable every time I got an email, a link, checked Facebook or turned on the radio. It took a few days to really figure out what was wrong but I finally put myself on a strict information diet. I turned off the radio (audio books rock!) and unsubscribed to a lot of newsletters and blocked some people on Facebook.

    I am so much happier. It IS exhausting to be outraged, upset, etc. all the time. It takes less energy to block a poster, unsubscribe, turn off and just smile.

    In fact, if you don't mind Jen, I'm going to copy that first paragraph and share it. ((HUG))

    I'd rather you post what you love and have infrequent posts than post daily and feel obligated.

    It doesn't mean I'm not informed or that I don't (mostly) hold the same political beliefs, I was just so overwhelmed that I couldn't think straight on certain things and would get terribly upset about some things and forget the big picture. I had thought that I would eventually start listening again, resubscribe, unblock...but I haven't. Doing even one upped my blood pressure, so I decided that some things would be "need to know only." (There are certain times when the pundits are worth listening to. Not often, though.)

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    1. Somehow my paragraphs got switched around...but I think the point is still there. ;)

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  125. Tweets can be equally torturous, as I write and re-write (and re-write!) the same pithy sentiment over and over until I just delete it because who really cares what my cat's doing, anyway?

    I could have written this but I think we should all remember, EVERYONE cares what our cat's are doing. Plus your other lesson "Write What You Love, Not What You Think Other People Will Love", I love cats so I'm taking this as permission to Facebook/Tweet/Google+ all about my cats.

    Although I do now have anxiety that I'm too late in posting on this post and you won't see it anyway because you've posted something since.

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  126. Internet burnout is awful. I no longer check Facebook. That helps. A lot. Because I really don't care what everyone's cat or child just did, or what they ate for their last meal. Nor do I care about the first world problems drama. I only open Facebook on occasion to communicate with a group I am in charge of, and they all know that the best way to reach me is by phone/text. Since giving up the drain of Facebook, I am a lot happier, so I understand where you are coming from with the internet burnout!

    Glad the time off did you well! And it is possible to get past level 65 of Candy Crush without paying $$, but it's pure luck with which candies are on the starting board. I've been stuck at 117 without buying any extra moves. I will probably be buried under level 117, too!

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  127. There's a lot in this post & in the comments that I agree with ... but I wanted to say a few words in defense of the lurkers.

    I'm an introvert. A happy, well-adjusted introvert; I have a public-facing job, I volunteer with community theater, I keep up with family & friends, I have game nights. But all of this is fueled by an intense need for alone time.

    Being online is alone time for me. (Yes, I'm on social media ... and I check my accounts almost monthly) I read Cake Wrecks and Epbot and a few other regular sites. But it's just Jen & me in the room.

    I've commented a few times before, when there's a specific call to action (arise in support of the beleaguered geek girl!) or a specific question that I actually can answer (getting started with cooking). But suddenly I'm in a room with Jen & myself & 150 other people. Who are all wonderful people that I'm sure I'd like one on one, but being in that social space at all means I'm no longer recharging my introverted batteries .. I'm drawing them down.

    There are only a very, very, very few sites where I check comments at all. There are certain types of sites where I go out of my way to avoid comments (I've been known to resize my browser when I'm going to watch something on YouTube).

    So ... this is my dilemma. I do see the need for positive engagement - but to feel somehow obligated to positively engage isn't true to who I am. Honestly, I can't post like that - but I can sure make myself feel guilty about it.

    I don't know how to solve this .. I don't know how to resolve the sense that by not leaving "good job!" comments, that I'm a 'lurker', a 'taker', that I'm letting the trolls win.

    Guess I just wanted to say a few words in defense - well, in awareness - of introversion.

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  128. Thank you for this post! I have only recently begun blogging, and I am desperately craving comments. I'll admit, I get a little bit sad every time I sign in and there's no new comments. But this post kind of slapped me in the face, making me realize what a hypocrite I'd been! I follow a lot of blogs, but rarely do I comment on any of them!

    Thank you for waking me up. Also, here's a positive comment to hopefully dispel the trolls! :)

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  129. Jen, I feel blessed. Over the years, you've replied to TWO of my emails! Now that I know it takes you as long to write as it does for me to write, I shall treasure your replies all the more. You inspire me. I love you (in a totally non-stalky, non-creepy way) and wish you all the joy in the world. Thank you for sharing your world with us. Post whatever and whenever you like: I shall always be happy to see your posts. Even about cats. Allergy-inducing furry beasts are always much less sneezy online. Hugs! V, mother of tiny Captain Tightpants.
    PS There was a Maker Faire here that I missed, but someone made a huge steampunk golem that made it onto the front page of the local free newspaper. I immediately thought of you, because there's no one here I can squeee with about it. EPBOT helps me feel that I am part of a community. Thank you!

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  130. I don't have time to read you every day. So I don't want you to post too often. I miss stuff if you post too much. Quality is so much more important than quantity. Glad you're back with a new plan to stay sane.

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  131. I am 66 years old. My bras fit for the first time in my life, all thanks to you. You could quit right now and still be ahead of Mother Theresa. What did she ever do for bra sizing? But I'm glad you'll still be blogging. From Kay in Berkeley

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  132. Thankyou so much for this. I'm a "positive troll," always thinking i'm wasting people's space in positive comments that'll just get buried anyway. But since my "Collaborations" post went viral, I have been desperately trying to comment and respond and reply to EVERY SINGLE POST, EMAIL, and whatever. Good golly.

    Just to leave some positive feedback, I think your blog is awesome, and I look to you for inspiration!

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  133. I'm so glad you're back! I had stopped blogging as I was getting so wrapped up in what I should post and whether anyone was reading, but this has inspired me to share what I REALLY love and stop worrying so much. And inspired me to be less of a lurker! Jen x

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  134. Fantastic post. I got caught up into all the blogs that said in order to get anywhere you had to post daily. So I'd start but I got burnt out SO fast. Plus it was pushing me to write what I thought others would read, not what I loved so I've pretty well quit since then. I like blogging but I'm still in the stages of being new enough I get near zero interaction so it kind of bums me out when I write about something I'm excited about and it feels like no one else is, haha! This year, I've trying to be part of that 10% of positive on the blogs I subscribe to, though I normally read on my phone and it's been kind of a jerk lately about signing in for comments (which I'm praying I fixed tonight). Also choose your clicks wisely is such good advice. If an article even seems like it's going to make me mad, I rarely waste my time. I have more important things to do, like read awesomeness, snuggle with my son, and pick out cosplays I hope to make someday! :D

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  135. You are SO right about level 65. I've been playing it a lot lately while waiting for new levels to appear and it's impossible to get 3 stars.

    (Loved the post!)

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  136. I rarely comment anywhere and think about how I should more often, especially on those posts out there that don't have a lot of love. Same with reviews of purchases I've made online. So, in an effort to be the anti troll, I'm so glad you're back. And I had to check-I only got 2 stars on Level 65 :)

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  137. These are great tips. I'm having to learn to stop trying to word things just right. Because you know what? If someone is inclined to take offense, they're going to do it no matter what you say. And if they're inclined to get you, then they will. I can't keep form setting off the crazy.

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  138. agree agree agree!! Thank you so much for this! As one of those "smaller bloggers", I appreciate each and every comment and "like" that I get.... but I never pass it on to the other blogs that I read. Now I will start commenting and 'liking' so much more!

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