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The World's Most Ironic Mother's Day Card

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Over the years I've noticed that my mother-in-law, Donna, never really reads the front of any store-bought cards we give her. She'll smile and give the card a millisecond's inspection before eagerly turning to the inside to see what WE wrote - which is super cute, but also makes shopping for a Mother's Day card feel kind of pointless.

So when I read this article over on Mental Floss about Anna Jarvis, the woman who first created Mother's Day and then spent the last half of her life decrying its rampant over-commercialization, I discovered the perfect solution:


How badly do I want to print a bunch of these up and sneak them into the Mother's Day section at Hallmark? Really, really badly.


So... will my mother-in-law notice? Place your bets in the comments now!
(And no, she doesn't read Epbot! Ha!)


******

Oh, and in case any of you have moms twisted enough to find this funny, here's the front graphic so you can print your own:


I made this using my own photo, and I intentionally made it kind of busy and scripty, so you have to put a little effort in to read it. (I'm also obviously not a graphic designer, but hey, the cheesier-looking the better, right?)

TIP: Since double-sided printing is a pain and a half, I printed the graphic on glossy photo paper, cut it out, and then used spray adhesive to attach it to a card stock base. That was WAY easier than trying to line everything up properly in Illustrator.


Enjoy, and if you DO print your own, I want to hear all the details after Sunday!

Posted by Jen at 9:29 PM Labels: ,

32 comments:

  1. Love it! I might just have to print one.:-)

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  2. I've commented so many times that what moms really want (the ones I know) are "good kids", maybe flowers/plants, great food, and to be able to sleep in. And a handmade card. Or now I should say THIS card. Love this card because I try and convey this all the time on my blog :) I'm definitely going to print this!

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  3. Your MIL's reaction is a good example of why not to buy cards for anything. Rather than spending half an hour and $4 at Hallmark, I have a vacation photo printed and stick it to the front of a blank card from a craft shop. Total cost ~20 cents, and I get to choose the picture :)

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    Replies
    1. Ok, you totally inspired me: last night I found a goofy pic of my mom & me at Disney, printed it out, and pasted it down to a card just like this one for HER Mother's Day card. Thanks for the idea!

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  4. you can count on me making one of these. I'd post my graphics if I had facebook... sorry.

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  5. Lol! That's too funny. I already did my agonizing over the perfect card but I might ditch the ones for my husband & I's moms cards for this. Haha. Our families (at least moms ) read ours though so I know they'll catch it. I bet your mom in law doesn't catch yours, though. :)

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  6. I have a greeting card program. Makes stuff like this really easy! I may have to do this too...

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    1. I can remember having easy-to-use card programs on the PC when I was a kid, so what happened to all those? You'd think Word would have something built-in - or Mac would! - but I've pulled my hair out trying to find any kind of template. I think it's some kind of Hallmark/desktop manufacturer conspiracy. ;)

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    2. Its called Microsoft Publisher. They still make it. But everybody has kinda stopped using it.

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  7. Love it. My mom has a great sense of humor so she'll love the irony of this. Thanks!

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  8. She won't read it right away. Does she save the cards and hang them on a door or display them on the mantel? If so, she might actually read the front of the card later.

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  9. You really should leave stacks of them in the card department. I'm half tempted to do it myself (only half because I would have to go buy card-stock). Dooo eeeet! If I had a huge gang of friends I would plant them and then arrange to have someone in or near the aisle for the next few hours with a camera. One person loitering would get noticed, but a stream of people wouldn't, and they could also make sure the employees don't pull them.

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  10. I must say, I really hate Mother's Day and Father's Day, because if you really love them, you shouldn't wait for society to tell you to appreciate them on a particular, overly-commercialized date. All you're expressing by giving a little gift/card/phone call on that day is your ability to conform and follow the guidelines set out by consumerism and conformity! So, I always told my parents (even on the day) that I was NOT celebrating the day for them, and that I would do it some OTHER time.... what would be TRULY meaningful is to *spontaneously* call/write your parents and tell them that you love them and appreciate what they've done for you! And wouldn't that have *so* much more meaning to them?
    This kind of reminds me, perhaps I should call my DAD today. :)
    A la Seven-of-Nine: Express your individuality!

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  11. I found a nice card for my mom the other day. It's hard to find the ones that are "from your daughter and son-in-law" but my husband feels left out if it doesn't (he loves my mom as much as I do so it's worth the effort). The stupid thing was $6.99! For a card that just sat there - it didn't blink or play music or anything. I know she is my mom and she's worth it - but that is crazy.

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  12. This is my first Mother's Day, so I feel like I should be a little bit more serious toward my mom and stepmom (I really, honestly want to convey my appreciation, after nearly a year of being a mom myself). However, I will absolutely print this out and save it for next year. It's hilarious. I was looking in the card section yesterday, trying to figure out what three (yes, three - mom, stepmom and sister) cards I would want given to me, along with a fourth card for my smom's graduation which is also this weekend, when I realized that I didn't want any of these cards given to me. Maybe I have no sentimentality, but I feel like they're such a waste.

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  13. LOL - your card is great! I will definitely be printing a couple! I stopped buying cards in general because 1. they are over priced and 2. it gets harder to pick them as the years go by because they are all basically the same recycled messages.

    I know my mother-in-law will get a kick out of the one you designed for sure! Thanks! =)

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  14. That's just the way I feel about gift cards! No thought involved. Might as well had out the cash and save yourself a trip to the store to purchase it. If you even did that much, you might have ordered it online! My son went to a birthday party once, and he was THE ONLY ONE who brought a wrapped gift! ALL the others brought gift cards, some not even in an envelope. My son didn't know the boy well, so took the time to phone him and ask what he wanted for his birthday, and did his best to find one of the items the boy wanted. Sure, the boy could go buy them all with his gift cards, but part of the fun is unwrapping presents!
    I better not get a gift card for mother's day!

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  15. I guess you could call me cheap - I prefer frugal, but hey, cheap works! - and both hubs & I think card costs have gotten way out of hand (not to mention, reach!), so for our own celebrations, we go to the card department together, pick out the cards we like & hand them to each other to read, enjoy & return to the rack. We get the message across, but it's a whole lot cheaper! Of course, for really significant milestones, or cards that simply MUST be saved, we'll go ahead & spring for it. And for our kids & his parents, and any of our friends that need one, we'll gladly purchase the suitable cards, but for ourselves? Nah...we just enjoy the process & let it go.

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  16. When present buying, I use a small inexpensive tags. The 4 to 6 dollars I save is spent on chocolate or candy to be included with the gift, or it means I can spend 5 dollars more on the gift.
    On the day before or the day of the birthday, I would usually send a personal note via email or facebook message.
    I also keep my wrapping costs low. I buy a dozen pack of plain gift bags and coloured tissue paper and ribbon. It lasts me all year and I usually save the reds and green for Xmas. I use Michael 50 percent coupons. It looks colourful and festive when you curl the ribbon. Remember, it's about looking nice until the wrapping paper is ripped and tossed.

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    Replies
    1. When I was little we always wrapped gifts in the newspaper comics. My mom would save them specifically for that purpose. Cheap and colorful!

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  17. This is why I always buy the most inappropriate card I can find. The one I recently bought for a friend's baby shower featured a chihuahua in a cone with an olive sharpied on it (the cone, not the dog), like it was a martini. The inside said, "Feel like a drink?"

    I thought it was funny.

    My friend thought it was funny.

    My friend's mother most decidedly did NOT think it was funny.

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  18. Hee! I am so using this...OR! I might just put something like, "Insert maudlin, insincere, ready-made 'sentiment' of colossal laziness and blatant emotional manipulation".

    : - )

    Andrea

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  19. Speaking as someone who IS a graphic designer, the next time you want to do a well-laid out card, use InDesign. :) Illustrator is a PAIN if you try to do page layout.

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  20. I prefer to give my Mom a present and CALL her to tell her that I love her. To me it feels more sincere.

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  21. I made two mothers day cards and home made tote bags for this year! One set for my mother and one for my boyfriends. The only condition was that he had to fill out the inside of the card himself. It read like a telegram. Short and unsentimental! But hey, he did what I asked.

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  22. Definitely using this- I've been looking for the perfect card.

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  23. This is why I don't do cards and haven't for many years. That people think I'm weird, and they do, just underlines how brainwashed we've become by the greeting card companies.

    Those ads with the woman who buys a special pre-printed box to keep all her pre-printed sentiments in just kills me.

    I'm perfectly capable of writing a letter, thankyouverymuch.

    CJ Long, your comment is the height of irony, do you realize?

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  24. If you use Hallmark software to print out cards, double sided printing isn't a pain if you set up the computer to be in charge of it instead of the software. I could never get the second side to print until I did that!

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  25. I always struggle to find an appropriate card for my mother-in-law. Spouse isn't what you'd call close to her so all the "best mum ever" ones really won't cut it.

    My own mum? She regularly receives "to mummy from your little girl." I am nearly forty but still her wee girl!

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  26. TheLovelyMissBeansMay 10, 2013 at 3:01 PM

    I wish I had seen this last week! My sister and I always send Mother's Day cards to one another since our mother passed away, and I always try to find something ridiculous to send. This would have been perfect. Sigh.

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  27. I wish I had seen this a few days ago. I have already mailed my mom's card. I'm definitely going to save this to use next year!!! So perfect!

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  28. Please don't leave us all hanging: did she notice?

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