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How We Amuse Ourselves

Saturday, January 8, 2011

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UPDATE: Just three hours later, and we have an illustrated version. Thanks, JRose!

Posted by Jen at 7:13 PM Labels:

47 comments:

  1. Oh, now that's hysterical! You and John make such a good team.

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  2. BAHAHAHA! Sounds like something that would show up on my wall.

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  3. You caught me! I read you via Google Reader. I also subscribe to failbook and in my Zuma Blitz break I didn't look what I was reading and was very confused by the use of both names.

    I'll be okay.

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  4. when unicorns get pregnant can they stop seeing themselves?

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  5. Helen the Snowy OwlJanuary 8, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    My fiancé and I are clearly just as bad because the immediate response I came up with was "Yeah, we're hoping she gives birth to a pair of griffins. It makes sense, with a phoenix for a father"

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  6. Once when I was eight there was a possum on our back patio and I burst into tears and ran into my room and hid under the covers. It took my mom an hour to calm me down.

    Sparkles sounds nice, though. Let us know when she foals.

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  7. You two would fit right in here. The little bandits who wander through my yard are all called "Raccoona Matata". (They all look alike, so they all get the same name!)
    In addition, we have Emmy and Wendy O. Possum. (no relation)
    A while back, someone stole bags of rock salt off our front porch. We suspect roving gangs of rogue deer. You can spot the thugs by the smokes rolled in their shirt sleeves (in warm weather), or matching leather jackets once temps turn cooler.
    Even though smoking is unhealthy, I am quite proud of the deer for conquering that whole lack of opposable thumbs issue and finding a way to hold the cigarettes.

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  8. oh, I like the idea of baby griffins! Good thought line, Helen the Snowy Owl :)

    WV-peadoph> don't make those peas mad!

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  9. I once had a possum in my bathroom. I actually petted it for a bit before I realixe that it wasn't my gray cat.

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  10. Fresh grilled fruit-yum! Hope Sparkles has an uneventful pregnancy.

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  11. Wow, I wish we had a backyard unicorn, pregnant or not! All we have is Neighbor Kitty, who likes to walk up to our patio door and make our cats yowl, hiss, and growl at her.

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  12. Well MY family has a troll living under the lake in our backward(he comes out during winter sometimes when it gets too cold and lives in our garage, without our knowledge of course), and lest I forget the fairy colony in the dead tree not too far off. They turned our cat pink at one point, but that's all behind us now.

    Glad to here Sparkles is pregnant! <3

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  13. There were three deer on the lawn as I pulled into the garage this evening. Or maybe they were mystic harts?

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  14. Lol! Awesome.

    We have female moose with babies constantly meandering through our yard and eating our trees.

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  15. My son thinks we have a basilisk in the basement.....

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  16. I. love. you. guys.

    If I ever move to Florida, can we be neighbors?

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  17. The picture is truly FABULOUS.

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  18. Ha! The image of a pregnant Sparkles will probably carry me through the next work week... so thank you. :)

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  19. Why do you hate animals? (j/k, that was hilarous!)

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  20. The possum wouldn't have lived at our house (Australia). :( Our beagle thinks they're the toys that occasionally supplement his meal.

    Unicorns otoh tend to stamp on his enthusiasm.

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  21. When baby unicorns are born, do they already have a horn? 'Cause wouldn't that be a little tricky for the mama? Any unicorn biologists in Epbot land who know?

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  22. I desperately want to be your Facebook friend!

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  23. That was hilarious. Tonight my husband and I came home from dinner and we thought someone was on the roof of our house. After calling the police, we find out we were being stalked by 6 balloons. I'm taking a pic of them tomorrow if they haven't moved on.

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  24. How much do you want for Sparkles' baby?

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  25. Someone needs to put this on 'Failbook' as a WIN!

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  26. Oh man, your amazing nerdiness brightens my day.

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  27. Adopt the stray cats! You'll also have to find good homes for the unicorn babies.

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  28. Oh that Sparkles, always running around with that wild young stallion with the gleaming black hair.

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  29. oh. my. gosh. you guys are freaking hilarious! thanks for a much needed laugh. can't wait to see pictures of Sparkles's baby!

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  30. Up until a short while ago, I lived in a forest. through a series of mishaps, a raccoon found its way into my house while I was napping. I woke up to rustling sounds in the hall and, with my bed right by the door, I pulled it open to see what was going on. There was a raccoon hanging koala style on my door molding to avoid my cats. I think I sat there a moment before managing to say 'uh, hi?' out of just sheer dumbfoundedness :P

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  31. Shiny

    http://www.blackphoenixtradingpost.com/jewelry.html

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  32. So much more amusing than most of the stuff that fills my news feed. Also, I think this is the only blog I read with posts that cause me to google phrases like "how do unicorns reproduce?". Thanks for sharing the awesomeness!

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  33. You have officially made my day. Thank you. :)

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  34. if sparkles doesn't come out from under the porch, she will get bigger as her pregnancy progresses. she and the baby will be stuck. the jaws of life will be needed for extraction.

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  35. sheesh... that Sparkles sure gets around

    thanks for the giggles

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  36. Hilarious! And I love the illustrations of the animals and the potential offspring!!!

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  37. Thank you for always coming through on a Monday with a bit of hilarity to get my week off to a good start! Love reading your blog!!

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  38. ...literally almost fell out of my chair...you totally just made my day lmao

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  39. "And now, Jim will enter the water to capture the anaconda..."

    That was probably my all-time favorite moment from Wild Kingdom. As a kid, I was always amazed at how Marlin let Jim do all the dirty work and risk his neck while Marlin did the running commentary from the safety of the boat/jeep/blind/what have you.

    I always liked that Jim Fowler. :)

    Carmiehead, the Un-Stalker

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  40. i laughed so hard I had a coughing fit. And I kinda wish you guys were our neighbors.

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  41. are you sure we aren't married to the same person? this is an email exchange between me and my husband:

    http://myidiotbrain.blogspot.com/2010/11/shopping-list.html

    ok, so they can't be the same person, john is handy and my hubby is..well, not. maybe they're brothers?

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  42. They're born with horn buds which grow into proper horns as they mature.
    Also the horns are hollow and flutelike. They can be used to snorkel.

    -Paragrin

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