Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Awesome, Chow! The Ultimate Hamilton Punny Party Menu, Because This Is The Quality Content You're Here For

You and I've been through a lot over the years, so I'm sure it won't surprise you to learn that I've spent the last week thinking up groan-worthy Hamilton food puns. Because it's all about quality and priorities and as many puns as possible here.

And just to give full credit where it's due: I found several of these puns on this 2015 Tumblr post, including the OUTSTANDING jello one, but the rest John and I came up with on our own. So as we prepare for the big Hamilton debut on Disney Plus this Friday (EEEEE!), let's make sure dinner that night includes intellectual intercourse over four sets of courses. And if it's noisy, well, hate the din, love the dinner.

(Oh yes, it's already begun, Ham fam. BUCKLE UP.)

For the Young, Scrappy & Hungry: 
Awesome, Chow!
 Be sure to use the Best of Knives, Best of Linen


A Winter's Cheese Ball: 

- Pardon Me, Are You Camembert, Sir?
- How To Say No To Swiss 
- History Has Its Eyes On Blue
- Raise A Glass To Edam
 - Two Pints of Sam Adams and I'm Workin' On Brie

Bake For It (Bake For It!): Rye is inimitable, Rye is an original

Searchin' For A Gerkin That Will Feed You Ideals

"I'm a Kosher baby, you can trust me."

NON-CHOPPED: Why Do These Legumes Seem The Smartest In The Room? 

Main Courses:

 In New York You Can Be A New Ham

 Just you wait... 'til it's out of the oven

Who Lives, Who Fries Your Cacciatore?

Aaron Burr-gers & Never Be Satis-Fries

"Fries UP!"

Chicken A La King George

 "You'll be the one complaining when I am gone."

Washington On Your Sliders 

 "Onion mother*****g dainty mini burger buns!"

Take a Steak!

"Run away with us and the butter."

And for the catch-all mystery option:

Whatever It Is, Jefferson Started It

 (found here, hah)


 Puns & Chips: The Fact That You're A Chive Is A Miracle

I Am Not Throwing Away My Tots

The Venerated Virginian Vegetarian:
Lining Up To Feed You All A Vegetable

And my personal favorite:

I Will Send A Fully Fried Vidalia To Remind You Of My Love

"Da da da da daaaa"


What'd I Whisk? What'd I Whisk?

 "Virginia, my home sweet home, I want to give you a  kiss."

Whatever The Hell It Is You Do In Mound-A-Jello

I'm Profiteroles, WHEEE

The World Turned Upside Down Cake


Bend Over, I'll Show You Where My Choux Fits

 (I'd like to thank British Bake Off for teaching me that "choux" rhymes with "shoe.")

Gonna Teach Them How To Bake A Pie, A Good Pie:

Grab My Sister And Whisper, "Yo, This One's Lime"

 Relax, Have A Drink With Me:

- Hurricanes
- Manhattans
- Shots
- Sam Adams 
- One Last Wine
- Not Throwing Away My Pop (for Northerners)
- Remember You Belong To Tea

I hope these helped you smile more. Now please feed my obsession by sharing your own Hamilton food puns in the comments!

And remember:

You'll Be Back, Time Will Tell
You'll Remember That I Served You Well 



P.S. For Movie Night this week we'll be watching - what else? - Hamilton! So come join us on the Epbot Discord server Friday night if you'd like to chat with some fellow Ham fans.


P.P.S. Our Squeeginner winners for June are Jennifer H. & Carolyn B.! Congrats, you two, watch for an e-mail from John in your inbox so you can claim your prizes.

I'm sorry I forgot to remind you all to enter the Squeegineer give-away last week (where did June go??), but remember you can enter anytime during the month via e-mail, details here. And as always, if you donate any amount via PayPal during the month then you're automatically entered.  

I have to say again how much I love you guys, and that John and I are continually humbled and honored by your support. Whether that's with your clicks, your shares, or your money, we know it's a sacrifice, and we dearly appreciate you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


  1. I laughed all the way through that!
    I am paying for one month of Disney+ just so I can overload (it that even possible?!) on Hamilton! Hoping they release a DVD sooner rather than later!

  2. "Raise a glass to Edam" I'M DED

  3. These are AWESOME!! My planned menu for the night includes A.Ham Sliders, Not Throwing Away My Tots, Jefferson Mac & Cheese, You Don't See How the Sausage Roll is Made, and Three Fundamental Fruits at the Exact Same Time.

  4. Huh. Maybe I will get them after I see Hamilton. I love a good pun!

  5. Yes! I was already going to have Sam Adams but now I need to add brie to the grocery list. I'm thinking of having Aaron Burr-itos.

  6. I died and was reborn with each one of these. Glorious!!! I'm not having a watch party until later this month, but I'm bringing a My Dearest Angel(ica) food cake and serving that with 3 Fundamental Fruits at the Exact Same Time. I'm technically supposed to bring a side dish, so I might have to steal the cheese plate idea because *Chef kiss*

  7. That poor man, they're going to eat him a chive?

  8. Well now I know what I'm fixing for dinner on Friday. I sang every single one of these puns.

  9. This is awesome! I have had the same obsession, but trying to find puns to fit our pre-planned menu for my Hamilton/4th of July party on Saturday. So far I have: Aaron Burr-gers; Not throwing away my BRAT(s); Buns & Chips (and all the condiments); And if you don't know, POTATO (salad), Mr. President; History has its (deviled) EGGS on you; Rise up, when you're livin' for BAKED BEANS; A MELON things I haven't done; Washington on your Side Salad; and Angelica, Eliza and VEGGIES. Dessert is still TBD, but I'm hoping for 3 Fundamental Fruits in the Exact Same PIE!

    1. a MELON things I haven't done is so simple and elegant. You win. Have fun!

  10. Have you ever read Lilek's Gallery of Regrettable Foods? :)

    1. Omg, yes! He also wrote a book on 70s decor once that made me laugh myself silly - I need to go find that again, it is so good.

  11. Is there an updated link to join the Discord server?

  12. Can you add another discord invite? The one I clicked on has expired.

    1. Done! Should last another 24 hours now.

  13. I'm making "The shroom where it happened" (stuffed mushrooms).

  14. Marquis de Wafflayette! (We will probably be watching over breakfast ;)) Also Alexander Omeletton.

  15. Have you in the past couple of months changed how your images are hosted? For at least a couple of months now, (maybe longer, COVID has given me that blursday feeling for months now) all of your image links have been broken when I access the site from my work computer. We have one of the most locked internet accesses I've ever seen. Lots of things that work in most places don't work here. So I wouldn't be surprised if it's not a common problem, but I don't have any problems with Cake Wrecks.

    1. Hmm, I haven't changed anything, no, but it's possible Blogger has - and we have Cake Wrecks on a different hosting server, which would explain why you can still see those photos. My suggestion would be to clear your cache, since that often helps, and then check to see if your browser needs any updates. (Or just try a different browser.) Usually if it's not the cache it's something with the browser!

  16. Why do you cook like you're running out of thyme?

  17. I completely lost it with the Fully Fried Vidalia. Considering King George's parts were my favourite parts of the musical, your pun on that was GENIUS.


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