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Procrastination Station 2/9/13

Saturday, February 9, 2013

John and I are gutting our laundry room, painting, and laying tile today, but here are some more entertaining options to keep *you* guys occupied:

The PULP-O-MIZER magazine cover generator has been everywhere online this week, and it is ridiculously fun to play with. Naturally, I had to waste a bunch of time research this myself:


The website lets you download a small version of your finished image for free, but also offers all kinds of products you can buy, from posters to note cards. A 12X18 poster is only $14, too - not bad!


For my fellow Disney fans, the Tumblr photo blog WDW Pics is like Pixie-dusted crack. There are 113 pages of photos there so far, and I'm at page forty-something, and I CAN'T STOP, you guys. Just look:

The gal behind the blog is a fellow Orlando native, so I can only hope I run into her someday - if only so I can bow down and declare how unworthy I am to be in the presence of her photographic genius. She mostly focuses on stunning up-close portraits of the Princesses and other face characters around the park, and, WOW:

How? HOW DOES SHE DO THIS?!

Seriously, just about everything she posts looks like an official park postcard. I love all the little details she's able to capture, from close-ups of Mary Poppin's lace gloves to the various signage around the park. Stunning, stunning, stunning. Oh, and she also has a Flickr account with the pics arranged in albums by character, so head over there to see more!


And finally, I was checking out a few new (to me) web series last week, and I highly recommend the somewhat autobiographical My Gimpy Life. There are plenty of funny moments, but it's also got a bittersweet twist to it that really draws you in to Teal's life. Here's the first episode:


There are only five episodes to season one (watch the rest here), so I'm hoping there will be a season two. (And you've gotta love Felicia Day playing her best friend - with a ringtone that play The Guild's theme song. Ha!)

I also watched some of the Jeff Lewis 5-Minute Comedy Hour, and found a few gems. (You might know Jeff Lewis as Vork from The Guild.) A lot of the episodes are too crass for me, but luckily the more R-rated ones all come with a warning up front. Anyway, of the half-dozen or so I watched, THIS is the one that had me laughing 'til it hurt at 3 o'clock in the morning a few nights back:


If you're a Guild fan, you're going to recognize all these characters - in fact, I think some of them originally met doing this series. Anyway, if this made you laugh, I also recommend Doctor and ATM. I don't usually like cringe-comedy (ala The Office) but those had me guffawing.

Ok, I'm off to help John, since so far he's been doing all the work in the laundry room. (Funny how that worked out for me, huh? ;)) Hope you guys are having a great weekend!

Posted by Jen at 4:22 PM   |  16 comments  |   Labels: , , ,

Just A Flesh Wound

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Yesterday I made my first-ever trip to a dermatologist, but don't worry: I have no scary medical traumas to relate this time. (Yay!) I was still ridiculously nervous, though, since doctor's offices just have that affect on me, and also because I knew they were going to be cutting things off my body. o.0 (Just a few small moles, but still...)

Happily the nurse who brought us back was super awesome, and we chattered away about tattoos and superheroes and how much she liked my pink cat necklace, so like most things in life, it was the waiting that was the worst part.

Well, except maybe getting stabbed in the back with a needle. That and the waiting are about tied for the worst.


Here, I took a picture of my necklace. Cute, right? I think this was my first Etsy purchase ever, like a million years ago.


John was there in the room with us, of course, and when the nurse left so I could get undressed he helpfully started unfolding the paper "smock" she left for me to wear. Except it wouldn't unfold, and it was this weird 2-ply thing, and it just. kept. ripping. After a few moments I tried to help, since at that point I was mostly naked and getting a little chilly, but I only succeeded in making about three more arm holes in the thing. (!!)

Cut to another minute later, and we're both giggling helplessly like guilty schoolkids as I clutch a giant wadded-up ball of tissue paper to my chest. "Find another one!" I hissed between giggles. So John starts searching through the drawers and cabinets, and I'm watching the door like a jewel thief, and then John gets curious and tips over the Nitrogen blow torch thingie on the counter which immediately starts hissing out gas and I'm like "I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE" but then he found another smock so it was all good.

During the exam I discovered another advantage to being a hermit night-owl blogger: my skin never sees the sun. The words "perfect" and "Snow White" were used, guys. For realz. The doc was so proud I almost felt guilty explaining it's more from poor social habits than actual skin care. ;)

The nurse used straight lidocaine in my numbing shots, since the epinephrine they normally include triggers almost instantaneous panic attacks. (Epinephrine is adrenaline, so no surprise there.) That's fine - lidocaine numbs everything up perfectly, but - Fun Fact! - it turns out the epinephrine is what stems a lot of the bleeding.

Have I mentioned yet that John doesn't do well with the sight of needles or blood? And that he was in the room? And that my paper smock wasn't *nearly* absorbent enough?

Poor guy. Thank goodness there was a chair in the room, though of course it was facing the table I was on. John sat and looked at the wall while the doctor was cutting, but he had to stay seated 'til long after the bloody smock and table cover were whisked away, and they'd wiped all the smears off my arms and I was bandaged and dressed again. He kept asking (while not looking) how I was doing during the few minutes the doc was cutting, while the nurse kept warning him he better not faint on her, which prompted me to ask how *he* was doing. I'm not sure who was more worried about who, to be honest, or who deserved more concern, for that matter. Ha!

I love that we're such a mess together.

Anyway, the BEST part came after John and I left the office and were taking the elevator down to the car. A dignified-looking elderly couple got in the elevator with us, with the woman facing John from one side. We spent a moment in the usual uncomfortable elevator silence, and then just before the doors opened, she said in a small, shocked voice, "Oh...oh WOW."

I had no idea what had distressed her, and so was even more confounded when John started apologizing. "Oh, ha! Sorry about that," he said, looking pained. "Sorry." We were walking away, and he was still calling back over his shoulder, "Sorry!"

I looked at John for an explanation, and then - and ONLY then - realized which t-shirt he'd chosen to wear that day:


 That's my hubby.

And now I really want to know what that lady thought his shirt was about.


(The shirt is from Woot, btw, and I just found out you can still order it. Now I'm tempted to order one in my size. Heh.)

***********

Technical Note: WHOOPSIE.  Comments were down there for a few hours, but they should be working again now. Thanks for your patience, guys!

Posted by Jen at 9:04 PM   |  38 comments  |   Labels: , ,

My Portal Valentines (Free Printables!)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I'm not very good at coming up with Valentines crafts, to be honest. Since I don't have kids, the only Valentiney stuff I'm interested in is stuff John might like, which generally rules out things like heart doilies or cake pops or adorable paper garlands draped around the mantle. ;)

So that left something simple, like a handmade Valentine. I mulled it over for a couple days, and then came up with a few ideas last weekend that made me giggle. Putting them together was a pain and a half  - not to mention tested the limits of my Photoshop know-how - but I finally have a few options to share with you guys. I hope you like them!


That's my own hen-scratched drawing up there, since I didn't have the time to get a more artistically-inclined friend to do it for me. My ancient tablet refuses to work in Photoshop, but John found me a simple Paint-like program for the Mac called Paintbrush. I gleefully took to it this afternoon like a three-year-old with a new pack of crayons - and that's actually my THIRD attempt up there, so I welcome your derision and/or pity.

Ah, but wait, there's more!

You KNOW I had to make one with a cake pun, right?


This seems a little too clean and bland, though, so I also scribbled one up for you:


Notice the arrow pointing from "lie" to the cake? Hehehhe.

You could also print the first one and then go to town on it with some markers - maybe add a little custom graffiti? Sky's the limit, really.

(The cake outline is the one used in the game that you see all over online [I used the version from this free desktop wallpaper], but the rest of the design is my own. I never plan to sell these or anything, so hopefully Valve is Ok with my using it here.)

So that's one sweet one, one punny one...what's next?

Why, something EVIL, of course!


 I get the feeling this is exactly the kind of Valentine GLaDOS would send.


And finally, I had to do one more sweet one, if only so I could inflict my childish scribbles on you guys again:

I think this is my favorite. Not because of the art - although I think I had some limited success in making the Turrets look cute - but because of the sentiment. It's perfect for me and John, not to mention the geek community as a whole, really. Plus John hasn't seen this one yet, so I think it's going to be his official - albeit early - Valentine. (Hope you like it, Sweetie!)

Feel free to save and print any of these you like, guys. (Click the pics to embiggen.) I tried to make the watermarks as unobtrusive as possible, but you can still always erase them prior to printing. Just keep the watermarks in place if you share or post these online, please - we all know how images have a way of wandering far from home on the 'web.

Oh, and this is the perfect time to announce the winner of my Portal Lemon Grenade! So, the randomly selected winner IS...the Elizabeth with a blog called The Elizabeth Archive! Congrats, Elizabeth, and please e-mail me your mailing address!

Posted by Jen at 10:32 PM   |  24 comments  |   Labels: , ,

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