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Bio Shocking

Friday, May 14, 2010

So John and I are playing Bioshock 2 together.

And by "playing together," I mean he plays and I sit next to him offering valuable tactical advice, like:

"BEHIND YOU!!"
"Shoot him again!"
"Shoot him again!"
"NOW IN THE HEAD!"

This, naturally, leads us to the question of whether video games promote violence. My opinion? Absolutely. Why, the instant some drug-addled, tommy-gun-bearing mutant crawls across the ceiling in my direction, I am totally firing a frag grenade in his a$$.

Hiii-YA!



Truth be told, though, I am a huge wimp when it comes to video games. I generally prefer ones like (I am not making this up) Ty the Tasmanian Tiger - the game that taught me Australians randomly exclaim "Crikey!" and "You beauty!" when excited. (Good to know in case I ever visit; I'll want to fit in.)

So anyway, the first time I saw John kill a Bioshock bad guy and blood spatter across the screen, I cringed away and had to watch through my fingers.

Fortunately, though, the game gives you lots of less gory (and far more entertaining) options for whoopin' up on the baddies. Which is my excuse for yelling out "Oooh, now try a proximity mine! And Inferno Blast 3! Oh! Oh! And what about the armor-piercing rounds?" while we were playing last night.

Given my enthusiasm, you might think I would try to play the game myself.

Well, I did try.

First I made John stay in the room with me, because - remember the wimp thing, now - this game scares the bejeepers out of me. Then I started a new game from the beginning. I was practically humming with excitement (I believe it was the Imperial March), certain that all my time watching John play would assure me an easy victory.

I finished the beginning cut scene, gripped the controller tightly in anticipation, and...

...promptly ran into a wall.

John snickered.

"Not so easy, is it?" he asked, perhaps because I may have possibly at some point called him something like a doofus for dying during a boss fight. Possibly.

"Hush," I said, and tried again. "Ah. Whoops."

"Is that the floor or the ceiling?"

"Uh..."

"Look, you use your right hand to look around, and your left to move. Just try to do both at the same time."

"Ok."

[a pause]

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get through this doorway."

"So walk through it."

[through gritted teeth] "It's not. that. easy."

Who needs bad guys?


After a few hours, I gave up. I can only assume that going two years without playing any video games at all (blame CW) has left me irredeemably uncoordinated. Plus, at one point around 2AM I was stuck in a bathroom stall (Hellooo, shades of my 6th grade dance) and this terrifying mutant lady leaped into my face shrieking and I screamed and John screamed and the cats looked at us like we were idiots and that was more than enough for me.

So, for now I'll stick to being John's co-pilot: reminding him when to use a med kit, that the drill dash is best on the big Brute guy, and explaining why finding Schroedinger's cat is awesome. But I guess I'll also lay off calling him a doofus. For now.

Posted by Jen at 10:30 AM Labels:

236 comments:

  1. I don't like gory video games either. Have you tried playing the Lego video games. They have a Star Wars one. I enjoy playing that one with my boyfriend. He likes it because it is 1-Star Wars and 2- a video game. I like it because the Lego characters are cute. And there's no blood. Did I mention it is Star Wars? There's also a Batman one we like, and Indiana Jones. Harry Potter is supposedly coming out next month.

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  2. I had the same experience with Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds...I watched my brother play, giving all sorts of useful advice like: "Stake him!" until he got frustrated and told me to play if I knew so much about it....now I just look up cheat codes for him...
    P.S. So glad you're expanding away from cakes...your commentary is the reason I read cakewrecks

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  3. You really gotta watch those walls. They look all 'innocent' just standing there, holding up the ceiling. But then BAM! They are all up in your face, keeping you from walking through doorways, laughing at you the entire time.
    I hear some of them use camaflouge velcro.
    Tricky little buggers.

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  4. Bwahahaha! That is EXACTLY how Michael and I play Bioshock!!
    However when we play Ratchet and Clank (which I introduced him too), I have to pry the controller away from him when it's my turn. "My turn! Me! We said when we die it's the other person gets a turn!" "That didn't count. It was an accident." "Yuh huh! Gimme!"
    And since I die quicker, I spend much time yelling "one behind you! Use the triangles (throwing stars)! Throw some babies (cute little death bots)! The Glove of Doom! Turn them into penguins!!"
    Awesomeness.

    Alex

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  5. BioShock scares the crap out of me too! Try Little Big Planet. It's a ton of fun and a great co-op game. No gore, and you can smack each other's little sack people.

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  6. I LOVE video games, but, alas, have absolutely NO hand-eye coordination. The whole camera thing is the death of me. My 14 yo had me play HALO with him, just so he could have the joy of killing me several times while I was blindly looking up at the sky (the wall, the floor), trying the figure out how to freaking WALK (let alone know how to use any of the weapons....just shoot me son, put me outta my misery!).

    Love the new blog!!

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  7. I'm another video backseat driver too. I used to drive my son nuts when he was playing any of the Final Fantasy games, nagging him about powering up his avatar thingies evenly, and stuff like that.
    Now I do the same to my foster-son, like last week when he was showing me Batman - Arkham Asylum.
    Ahhh, good times!

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  8. Oh, Bioshock 2. I loooooooooove the Bioshock games. The first one is... well, it's perfection. Anecdote - a couple of years ago, I decided to throw a surprise party for my husband's 30th (he had conspired with my mom to do the same the year before, but it's impossible to surprise me). To prepare him, we spent a couple of hours playing Bioshock - right in the thick of the game - then I decided that I was hopelessly bored with being at home, and wanted to go to my brother's house to play pool - there may or may not have been much whining on my part. We get there, my brother is standing at the table playing pool, we walk in, and then 20 people pop up from nowhere and yell surprise. All I can say is that everyone in that room is really lucky that I didn't get him Incinerate for his birthday, because - I scheiss you not - he raised his arm up to try to zap everyone. That is easily my fave story (loosely) about that game.

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  9. I laughed so hard reading this. The scenerio of you offering advice to your video-game playing mate reminded me of the long, alcohol soaked nights of my mid twenties, watching my ex play a Playstation 2 game that gave me nightmares if I watched too much of it. I have no idea what it was called (it was about about escaping from some island prison that was infested zombies) and I used to scream my "advice" from behind my hands in a panic striken voice:
    "KILL IT!! KILL IT!!"
    "RUN FASTER!! OMIGOD, WILL YOU JUST RUN?!?!"
    "Can I look yet?"
    Good times. Good times.

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  10. Yeah, I watch Adam playing Halo, Grand Theft Auto, Mass Effect....I feel like a football players girlfriend on the sidelines. Only...

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  11. I looooove BioShock. I got about halfway through it before my boyfriend "accidentally" saved over my file. But yeah, Xbox 360 controls are tough. I hate having to make sure I'm looking the right way! And thanks for not giving any second game spoilers away. I still haven't played it. :P

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  12. I see myself in your post. "Behind you, he's coming up behind you!" "Jump, you need to jump NOW" "Why did you do that? Stop dying or I won't watch anymore". Yeah. Good times.

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  13. I "co-pilot" my fiance's video games all the time. You wouldn't think watching someone else play a game would be that fun, but it is! All the fun of playing without all the stress of actually doing anything, haha.

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  14. Heh, we play video games like you two do. My husband plays, and when it's interesting I'll become a back seat gamer. If it isn't interesting (leveling up gets boooooring), I go back to surfing the Web on my laptop. ;)

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  15. video-game-backseat-drivers of the world unite!

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  16. I'm terrible. TERRIBLE. At playing video games. I was always the girl who jerked my controller up whenever I wanted Mario to jump? Yeah, I still do that. Less than I did when I was 15, but I'm 32 now and still do it so...yeah. But I'm an EXCELLENT co-pilot!

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  17. Oh, my, how I snickered through this entire post. I am the SAME WAY with my husband. I will never forget when he finally convinced me to play World of Warcraft with him...remembering what button makes you run is HARD! And then I'm supposed to, like...attack things? Huh? Way easier when I just sat there and watched him do it.

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  18. OMG you made me laugh. This is so me! ALL of it!

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  19. I'm also in the "wuss" category when it comes to video games. I grew up w/ 4 siblings so when something jumps out at me onscreen, my reaction is to lash out physically. (My hus wisely doesn't sit near me when I play.)

    You might try Kingdom Hearts 1 or 2. They are from the makers of Final Fantasy but have Disney characters. Added bonus for me was looking like a bad@ss to my nephews when I told them I was at 99% complete. (Damn that last boss.)

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  20. Ha ha that is fantastic. Maybe you should just start on a less scary game that has the same sort of controls.
    When my husband plays Half Life (which is another creepy game) I turn all the lights off and try to be really quiet because then the experience is oh so much more scary for him.

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  21. Haha My boyfriend and I play the same way. Except it's mostly racing games so the commentary is a little more "Sharp left up ahead." & " Ohh he's gaining on you go go go!!" While I'm practically jumping out of my seat in excitement.

    (but of course when I also get behind the controller it's right into the wall!)

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  22. Great game for teamwork: Super Mario Galaxy. I am the queen of collecting starbits!

    Totally have had the same experience while watching hubby play Godfather, Grand Theft Auto, etc.

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  23. You gotta try "Lego Star Wars"--lots of action, no blood or guts (actually adorable Lego guys exploding into individual Legos), but best of all, MINIMAL coordination or video game skill required! There is also a nice dual-player mode.

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  24. Yep, not a bloody gory video gamer myself. However, I do agree with e.m. - I LOVE the PS3 Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones. No blood! And they're gosh darn cute when the fall to pieces when they die. Hubby and I work *great* as a team on those, but I completely suck by myself. However, when I switch over to my 4yo daughter's Dora Snow Princess on the PS2, I'm almost wishing she *would* die. But that would be too much violence for a toddler, I guess, either that, or they didn't want toddlers asking about death. Never mind in my family - Jayna thought it was kinda cute when my brother passed away in October "Mommy, why is uncle Josh in a treasure chest?"

    -Carrie

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  25. xD The BioShock games are really more about the story than the game play. Why bother working, when someone else will do it for you?

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  26. I play an absurd amount of video games for a 29 year old woman. I mean like obscene. However, a few years back I took an extended break from gaming (law school does it every time) and when I tried to get back on the horse, I had big problems with the two joystick controls required in Bioshock and other great games like Halo and Borderlands. Eventually, you can get good at it. I can now totally kick butt at any of those. But - Bioshock still gives me the creeps!!

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  27. I love having another blog to read - thanks for keeping us laughing.

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  28. I don't really 'get' why people enjoy video games. Although I like the Wii Sports games... Sigh...I feel helplessly old some days...

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  29. Ha! Sounds like every video game conversation between my husband and I - I sit and knit and kibbitz, he plays the game while I "help". I'm terrible at actually playing, but every once in a while he convinces me to try and I flail.

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  30. YAY new blog!
    I am such a sissy when it comes to games, I don't watch anything that the badguys don't die by jumping on their heads. I'm even worse when it comes to playing, I get completely lost in anything that isn't a side scroller, Mario Galaxy made me cry after 15 minutes. I am loving the new Mario Bros. it's side scroller and I can just turn into a bubble and float along while I "help" my hubby when it gets hard!

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  31. Oooo I completely understand my fiance is in love with his xbox360. I am honestly ok with that, because like you I enjoy a video game from time to time. As well as watching him play... aka "playing" along. When we first moved in together I watched him play Call of Duty online with his friends pretty often. I would also have conversations about the game and the strategies the boys have with "the girlfriends." I often thought to myself "how hard can it realllly be?!?!" Well I attempted to play myself, alone, to save me any possible embarrassment. OOoo and was I glad I did! It wasn't walls I was running into, it was the forest. Alone. Not knowing where exactly I should be heading. It was awful. Since then I have bought "Viva Pinata" which is a "Sims" type game. Didn't hold my interest as long but it was something that I could handle the logistics of.

    ps I also love your commentary on CW that I am glad you are expanding into "geek-dom" -- its highly relate able :) keep up the good work!!

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  32. I have always enjoyed being a back seat video game player!! Makes it fun and something to do together!!

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  33. I *loved* the Ty game!! Oh wait...I mean....my KIDS do....*I* merely WATCHED them play......oh whatever, I loved playing that game. Now I might need to find it again at a used game store, because I'm sure our copy is lost or scratched all to heck, lol. Hmmmmm, I wonder if they have it for Wii now.......

    WV: bilywoen....."Awwww, MO-OM....bilywoen let me play games and I wanna!!"

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  34. My husband loooves Bioshock and I can't even offer advice, it creeps me out. He also played Fallout and I participated in the story line but then the dang music got into my subconscious and it would follow me everywhere, elevators, dreams... Now I have to be careful what games I help him with ;)

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  35. And all of a sudden, I flashed back to when my guy friends were playing Halo 2. They were all level 18 or thereabouts, I was a n00b. And, I finally figured out I was just there for cannon fodder, to boost everyone elses' scores when they killed me. Yeah... I'll stick with my game boy, Zelda and Mario and Tetris. ;)

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  36. I have the exact same problem. I love watching my boyfriend play those games, but the gore wigs me out and whenever i try to play, I get so frustrated within 2 minutes of game play, I end up wanting to throw the controller across the room.

    I blame not playing a game system more complicated than the original NES for years. I'm sticking by that :)

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  37. Heeheehee. I just like to watch my hubby play these games for the coolness. The Bioshock games for the cool Art Deco surroundings and steampunky goodness...Fallout3 for the cool music and fun dystopic environment. :D

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  38. This whole thing SCREAMS of me in college. Halo has just recently come out and everyone (read: all the guys and a couple of the girls who all seemed to have big brothers who taught them how to work both sides of a controller at the same time) was obsessed. I was dating my next door neighbor (as is only appropriate as a freshman in a co-ed dorm, never again after that) and would ONLY try to play when both his roommates were gone and it was just us. That lasted about 3 tries worth and then I went back to watching movies on my laptop while laying in bed next to him yelling at the TV.

    Ahhhh college.

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  39. I feel the same way. I'm much better at watching someone else play games than actually playing them myself. I remember *back in the day* watching my brother play through resident evil several times, but when I finally went to play, I was so scared that a zombie was going to jump out and eat me, and at my first encounter, I screamed and ran out of the room heh. Nice to know there's someone else like that out there :)

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  40. This is like reading a story about me and my husband. LOL :-D

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  41. I have the worst time with console games. I grew up playing computer games so for me using the keyboard and mouse are so much more natural than a controller. My husband loves to laugh at me on the rare occasions that I attempt a console game.

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  42. I must say, I know how you feel. I laugh at my hubby all the time for not making it to the check point. But there is NO way I would make it through the door either. Once they tell you to use use the left and right joy stick...I am out :-)

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  43. I totally understand the screaming at video games. I'm normally a pretty jumpy person, but when you add a terrorist with a semi-automatic or a creature from another world, I can barely keep it together.

    I was playing a military recon game on the plane once, earphones in, totally dorking out (I actually really like video games....they just don't like me), and this terrorist comes around the corner and scares the crap out of me and I end up screaming on the plane and throwing the hand-held gaming device in the air. I thought my husband would never be seen with me in public again!

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  44. When I play Mario on my DS, I'm in control, and I can kick some Koopa butt! When I try to play Harry Potter on my XBox...I'm falling right off the library shelves onto Filch because I can't walk in a straight line....I guess I"ll stick to Tetris and BeJeweled!

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  45. I am so with you. Hubby plays these crazy complicated computer games. Me? I just shelled out $200 for an old Atari/colecovision combo w/ 56 games.

    His version of difficulty is, as you described, multi bad guy, multi gun, strategic, complicated action.

    My version of difficulty is trying to make an Atari 2600 (circa 1983) hook up to a flat screen TV (circa 2009), blowing in the cartridges to make them work, and playing frogger with an atari controller which may or may not respond to your command to jump.

    Interestingly, we both swear about the same amount on our respective games.

    K-

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  46. You just perfectly described me with video games, except I may be worse... Katamari makes me nervous, and so does Mario, although I LOVE to watch other people play! About the only video games I can play are puzzle-type games, Wii Fit and Resort games, and racing games... and only racing games if nothing's shooting at me. I'm glad there are others out there like me. :)

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  47. This post made me laugh really hard. I've never seen Bioshock, but my husband plays God of War 3 on PS3 and it too is pretty graphically gory. I sit behind my laptop jumping and screaming at him to kill it, and then I demand to know if is really necessary to rip the guys head off and hold it up like a trophy after he's dead. I have had to leave the room on more that one occasion!

    I'll stick with games like Peggle, yeah cause that's how I role :)

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  48. Ha! This is exactly how my husband and I play Bioshock - but, more because I am a wimp and it is a little too creepy to play by myself. However, I did play the multiplayer and have yet to come in last (second to last is not last) so you might try that.

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  49. All I can say is, 'lmfao'. I was laughing so hard I actually scared my dog away.
    ~Miss Megan

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  50. I can't use an Xbox controller to save my life. You should have seen the first time I tried to even WALK in Halo. My friend, bless his heart, was very patient and tried to teach me, but I was laughing too hard to see, much less attempt to fix my ridiculousness.

    My mom, however, is famous for "steering" with the controller while playing Mario Kart, like it's a steering wheel or something.

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  51. Haha! My favorite game to backseat paly is Grand Theft Auto. Cause really, how many times do you get to yell "No Baby, steel the Hummer!"

    Oh and the new blog...it is Wuv, Twu Wuv!

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  52. I'm awful at those kind of games! Don't feel bad Jen!

    -Sarah
    www.theoddbookout.blogspot.com

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  53. Ugh. Had the same experience, only substitute my 7-year old nephew for John, and Harry Potter for Bioshock. And add this comment, "You're not very good at this, Aunt Alison."

    Thanks sweetie. And no, I don't think we're gonna be going for that ice cream later. So sorry.

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  54. Hahaahha. The makes me glad Callum (the hubby) likes silly games like lego star wars, or Mario Cart. :)

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  55. If it makes you feel any better, I'm not particularly coordinated when it comes to controllers with lots of buttons and multiple joysticks. Give me the original NES any day. (Oh yeah, I'm so old school.) :P

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  56. You just convinced me to get the game. I'm a gamer, but I am not content to watch someone else play. In fact, that drives me crazy. I don't play on consoles any more, though. I play on the pc. And if you haven't tried Oblivion, or even better Fallout 3, you really should!

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  57. If it makes you feel any better, I'm not particularly coordinated when it comes to controllers with lots of buttons and such either. Give me the original NES any day. Oh yeah, I'm so old school. :P

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  58. Too funny! I seriously suck at video games...except for the Tekken Fighting games. I do love a good one on one @ss-kicking!

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  59. Uhhh...that's a little creepy. My husband, cats and I would like you to please stop watching us in the living room and then blogging about us (so clever to change the names)!
    Now if you are ever in the DC area and want to come over, announced-feel free! But this late night stalking stuff's gotta stop!

    -Terri B. and family

    PS: congradulations on the new blog!

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  60. This all sounds very familiar. I just can't get the hang of the first person shooter camera thingy. Drives me nuts. If I play at all I have to use range weapons, because when I get too close to the monsters, I lose them and can't get myself turned around to find them again. I get too flustered. LOL

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  61. Oh MY Goodness that game scares the crap out of me! Congrats on trying it, you are braver than I. (but I did enjoy watching and... ah hem.. encouraging my husband as he played.

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  62. Two words (and a conjunction): Chuzzle, and Bookworm.

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  63. Keep at it! My husband plays all the Call of Duty war games and has for years. After Thanksgiving when his brother was here and they had an absolute blast playing together, I picked up a controller and said I'd learn to play. I swear, I've never seen him that happy before! He was positively giddy.

    To say that I sucked the first few days would be putting it mildly. I also had trouble walking through doorways and (oh, god) climbing up ladders, but I figured it out. Now instead of hamstringing him, I'm actually a worthwhile partner.

    Sadly, he got called up in the Reserves just a few months after we started playing, so we can't play together for 14 months. Boo! But I'm practicing while he's gone and intend to knock his socks off with my mad PS3 skillz when he gets home next year. I can't wait!

    And I second the person who suggested the Lego games. We have Star Wars, Batman and Indiana Jones, but Star Wars is by far my favorite. We're hopelessly geeky and quote lines from the movie at appropriate times. It's. So. Much. Fun. And the best part is that you can't die. I mean, you die, but you get a new life instantly and keep playing, so it's totally user friendly for the inexperienced gamer. Go check them out!

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  64. Also, Katamari kicks ass, and it's a good way to familiarize yourself with the controller and moving around.

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  65. I wasn't allowed to play video games as a kid and I'm convinced that if you don't learn by a certain age, your video game muscles atrophe.

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  66. Try turning off the video camera inversion (when you push up, it looks down) under the controller settings. Guys seems to love it but I can't play like that. My fav position is as the co-pilot though, all of the glory (for helping, of course) and none of the responsibility for sucking.

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  67. First person shooters are hard to get used to. Third person games are a lot easier and I'm saying this from experience as I did the same thing! It took me a long time to get used to controlling the character and the camera. BioShock is easily one of my very favorite games to play. Love! :D

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  68. I love it! That description sounded exactly like my boyfriend trying to teach me to play Gears of War!

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  69. Omgosh. I wanna be you when I grows up.

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  70. That is so great. I used to watch Grand Theft (& sometimes play - jet-pack cheat code ftw!) and give advice on what I wanted to see. My pre-teen daughter would walk in and say, "Zoom in & shoot their head off!" I was like that too. Then my (now) ex got an old game for ps2 called Turok Evolution (not the 2008 one!). I could actually play that game. My daughter played it too. Scared the crap out of me when those dang dinosaurs tried to eat me but I loved it. There was a weapon that you shot at enemies that hit them and exploded them into itty bitty bits and I was just fascinated by watching the pieces. Is that wrong?

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  71. So, I read this and finally emerged from lurkage. My husband and I do this all the time! In fact, we even do it when he's playing on-line with his friends. They can all hear me yelling over the blu-tooth things like, "WATCH OUT THAT GUY BEHIND YOU!" or "NINJA!" (their current game of choice is Uncharted 2). There's nothing more gratifying than getting a "Thanks" from them for saving their butts from a ninja bent on snapping their neck like a twig. It brings us closer. :D

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  72. LOL!! I love this! That would totally be me! I just want to say Thank you for your awesome blog. I already love it! I have loved CW for sometime and have always loved your comments. Keep up the great work, I can't wait to keep reading. :)

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  73. Ha - I used to do that with my older brother. He'd play "Tomb Raider" (the original) and I'd watch, though I usually tried to be quiet because I wanted to seem cool. Years later I tried the game myself and it was, um, really hard. Who knew?!

    -holly

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  74. My husband is a few years younger than me, and I'm finding that if you missed those all-too-critically-formative aim-and-shoot gaming years as a child, it's really difficult to gain that coordination. So, when the hubby's playing Left for Dead or Mass Effect, I just have to watch (a little sadly, because Mass Effect looks awesome).

    But give me a sword or a spellbook and I'm good! I loved Fable, Dragon Age and even Knights of the Old Republic (a light saber's still a sword!).

    I second recommendations for the Lego games and Little Big Planet, for fun, less intense fare. I must also add the Katamari games, which, like Little Big Planet, actually exercises your coordination. Plus, it's all pretty and rainbow-y. And just a little trippy.

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  75. We play Call of Duty, and I get to have any gun I want, but he only gets a knife. This way, he can't pick me off from a sniper position.

    He still beats me on a pretty regular basis.

    I did beat him once. Of course, he was on the phone at the time.

    Also, how about putting something on the left side of your blog so the words don't run into the edge of the screen. I know it's picky. You could put the blogs you follow. That would be fun for me.

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  76. oh my god that is us! Halo, i died in the first second of playing, so now i am look out!

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  77. OH MY GOSH! I'm such a skittish gamer, I named a character after myself. The Professor's game of choice right now is Fallout3. Talk about gory. The way we play is I'll type, watch his story unveil and look up map locations on the laptop. :-)

    This made me laugh - we game much the same way. :-D

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  78. Bioshock is so beautiful - even if it is terrifying! My daughter plays and I scream at her to loot the bodies - I know the neighbors must thing we are crazy. But I don't play - not since I tried Zelda on the Wii and in the very first scene I had to walk into a cave and some bats flew out. I screamed and threw the controllers at the screen. I'm not allowed to touch the games anymore!

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  79. I advise my husband also, when he plays video games (his preference is first person shooters). But the only game I play is Mario Kart for Wii because in pretty much every other game, I suck. And I die very quickly. Once, I was playing Super Smash Bros with a friend and we were fighting on a cloud. I kept falling off. He even started jumping off to help even things up a little. I still lost.

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  80. I have to say that reading the beginning of this post reminded me so much of how I interact with my boyfriend. He is obsessed with Modern Warfare and I too, sit there and give him "advice."

    I cannot watch for long periods of time though because the first person view makes me nausea.

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  81. I think your "incessant yammering" is HILARIOUS! I read CW and now your blog, at work and I have to attempt to stifle my giggles, which just makes me snort and make other weird noises that have my co-workers giving me odd looks. Blog is now on my favs :-)

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  82. Hehehe. This sounds like the EXACT conversations that go on when my husband plays video games.

    The first time I tried playing Halo with him he kept asking why I wasn't moving - but I couldn't look straight AND walk...it just wasn't happening.

    So, I sit back and tell him where his enemies are shooting him from, and remind him of his mission in case he missed it on the screen. Much better :)

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  83. Ha, this is how we "play" Quake. Although my 7 year old has started subbing for me, awesome.

    You really should try the Lego games - my kids play those on the Wii and they are soooooo cute. The Indiana Jones one is my favorite.

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  84. Oh, I'm so glad. Now I can laugh even more.

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  85. I can never get those complicated games down. Give me a two finger racing game ANY DAY and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to beat every high score on the planet.

    Or Dance Dance Revolution.

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  86. HaHa, one of my housemates plays this all the time and we all sit around him watching and giving advice too. We also won't let him play if we aren't there. I also tried once... and failed horribly, the controls are just too complicated, I'll stick with playing Wii games :)
    P.s. they made Big Daddy plush dolls, I saw them on a site somewhere, but unfortunately they were out of stock :(

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  87. Like e.m., I'm not into the violent games. Or anything that requires too much coordination. If you want something fun, easy and ultra cute (while still making you feel like a badass), try mini ninjas. IT ROCKS MY FACE OFF. And I usually suck at video games. For real.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH1bXA4Q15s

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  88. Ha ha. This sounds like me and video games. The first time I tried playing Halo, I pretty much just gave up and stood in one place attempting to shoot my foot (which I still don't understand why you can't do). I guess I'll have to stick to cute, easy little lion king video games and the like.

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  89. I'm an avid gamer (and a girl! woot!), but at first I was like you; slamming into walls, mumbling unladylike things under my breath the whole time, and seeing red when my husband and his friend decided to use me for target practice in a free-for-all multiplayer game. One thing that threw me was the looking around and walking at the same time thing. I gave up for awhile and pouted, like any good girl would ;) and then my husband suggested something to me I wouldn't have thought of on my own:

    Check how your Y-axis is configured in your controller settings. I *have* to have an inverted Y-axis in order to not walk into walls and get dizzy or confused while walking. Might be worth a try! :)

    Keep at it! We need more a$$kicking gamer chicks in the world!

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  90. This is the one with the art-deco-retro-20s/50s feel that happens underwater, right? Were one of your abilities is some weird telekinesis/electricity from your hand thingie? I totally co-piloted that game with my BF. But play it? No thanks :).

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  91. HAHAHAHA!!! My husband and I do the EXACT same thing. I say "we" play games, really, he plays and I tell him what to do. He gets angry at me, and when I try to play, I end up in a corner staring at the floor. I am a wonderful tactician though!

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  92. ROTFLMAO! Oh it does my heart good to know that I am not the only video game flunkie..flunkie as in I flunked! Another thought: Visualizing you on the sofa, yelling commands...what must the neighbors think? LOL!

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  93. Haha, Imperial March... It's amazing how frequently that plays in my head.

    I think I've finally convinced my husband that I missed the crucial window of opportunity for gaining the hand-eye coordination for video games. I can't last more than 30 seconds in Super Mario Brothers.

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  94. Okay, you've probably already tried this one but if not, you really should try Katamari Damacy. The premise is pretty much you roll things around and stuff sticks to what you are rolling. Doesn't seem like something that would make for a fun video game but it does.
    My roomie's sister got her hooked and it is fun to watch as well.

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  95. Yep that is exactly how I play games too... telling my husband how to do things, and for some weird reason he likes it. I also stink doing it myself so i just stick to co-piloting!

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  96. After reading this I immediately sent it to my fiancé. This is almost action for action the same thing that happens to us. She sits beside me while I play and yells out helpful hints between covering her eyes and letting out scared squeaks.

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  97. I have NEVER been in the least bit interested in video games. It's our son who is the total fanatic in our house--has been for years. Sadly, gone are the days of Pokemon and Sonic....now it's all about war, blood, guts, fighting, fighting,strategy, and more fighting. Halo, Call of Duty, Battlefield, etc. (XBox 360).
    Sigh.
    But man, is he GOOD at it! He's only 16, but has been getting the games that are *supposed* to be only for 18 and over (BAD PARENT ALERT!). I figure, let him get his anger/stress out online rather than in real life. And he's so darn GOOD at these things. His online friends are his school buds as well as all over the planet. His future is in I.T. (maybe game designing).
    He will be RICH. And he will support his parents in their old age.
    I aim high.
    *snicker*

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  98. This is one of the reasons I like Guild Wars so much: I am a HUGE fantasy geek, and as much as I love to blow things up with the awesome powers of my mind, I am not so much about the gore. Also, I seriously lack the coordination to play console games and I can play (and have played) GW quite successfully using just my mouse. Click! You're dead, ugly stone elemental!

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  99. I have been reading CW for a while and of course started reading this blog 2 days ago, My husband is a WOW addict and this is exactly what we sound like especailly when he askend me to try it out. You are too funny!

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  100. I don't even try with video games anymore! haha After they added more then 4 buttons on the right side and 4 joysticks I don't even know how to hold a controller right! haha
    But I have mad co-pilot skills :)

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  101. yeah, I've played Bioshock with my husband like that. I did play the first one myself for a bit, but one Xbox and two people, I'm usually on the couch. I don't think it causes violence, but I also don't think it acts as a release like my husband tries to tell me, as he is always more annoyed after a game then before!

    Rosalind
    Girls Are Geeks

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  102. Also, never forget the value of screaming "HEALTH!!!!" and "EVE!!!!!!" at regular intervals. It's helpful and jarring, all at the same time.

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  103. Games like that make me nausious. I can't play them because I get dizzy, frustrated and want to throw up. Can't we just play frogger and be done with it?

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  104. I do the same thing when my fiance is playing Call of Duty. I love video games, but I've realized that I really suck at first person shooters. I'm more or a third person view kind of girl.

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  105. I try to get my husband to just play and let me be co-pilot, but he's all about teaching me to fish, so while I've avoided Bioshock 2 so far, I have indeed played through much of the first one. Egads, I walk like a drunk on a weekend bender when I play FPS games. Hehehe.

    I agree with the Lego Star Wars fans. Also, consider moving on over to Steam (PC) and playing World of Goo. I can built towers of Goo balls for hours. :)

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  106. I try to get my husband to just play and let me be co-pilot, but he's all about teaching me to fish, so while I've avoided Bioshock 2 so far, I have indeed played through much of the first one. Egads, I walk like a drunk on a weekend bender when I play FPS games. Hehehe.

    I agree with the Lego Star Wars fans. Also, consider moving on over to Steam (PC) and playing World of Goo. I can built towers of Goo balls for hours. :)

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  107. If you add my knitting needles to that picture - it's me too!!!!

    The only video game I have ever played well is the Smurf game for the Colecovision!!

    I love how I can completely identify with some of the things you write (and it seems a lot of other people too!!!)

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  108. I just got Bioshock 2 last night and began to play it. My husband screams at the screen when something scary happens, but I just keep going... And make sure the lights are all on. >.>

    If you haven't played any games in a while, start with some 3rd person view games (I usually play Crash Bandacoot *cough*) because First Person Shooters are hard to get used to. My husband blames the fact that I'm a girl.

    And did you have it on Easy? I put it on medium today, and I'm getting the crap kicked out of me. Bleh.

    But this is usually how me and my husband play. I usually stick to Crash Bandacoot and Tetris and my husband plays all the bloody, gory war crap.

    The only reason why I even play Bioshock is because of the music. >.>

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  109. Ok, if you like video games but have a hard time w/ the hand-eye coordination and doing things really quickly (because if I cared about those things, hey, I'd play spots) check out the Zelda games. Also try Katamari Damacy for a non-violent game.

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  110. LOL awesome!!
    You sound quite like me and those types of video games. I'm very much the "back seat video gamer". :p

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  111. I love Ty the Tazmanian Tiger! It was one of the first games that I bought when I got my PS2. Though I got kind of stuck and haven't been able to collect enough geodes to make it any further. So I don't think owning it is that bad. What is really shameful to admit is when you get totally stuck in a game like Hello Kitty Roller Rescue (which I've done) ^-^
    You sound like me when a friend of mine plays Silent Hill. She loves them but gets really creeped out by them so my boyfriend and I have to have to watch her play and make fun of the monsters so she doesn't freak out. We've given her tons of great advice like "Behind you!! It's the guy with the knives!" and "He's down! Kick him in the junk!"

    Oh, I feel the need to mention that the first time I played Goldeneye (the old James Bond shooter for the N64, I got stuck in a hallway and couldn't get out.

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  112. The one time I tried playing a "shoot 'em" game (I have no idea what it was called), I had to leave the room and lie down for 30 min because I felt nauseous after playing for 10 min. I think it's because my mind wanted me to move in a certain direction, but my (lack of) skills prevented that from happening, and therefore my eyes did not see what my mind expected. So lame.

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  113. OMG, this is totally us, too! I sit and direct while Jason plays. We've been doing that since the days of Goldeneye on the N64 when we were first married.

    Recommendations for ones you might be able to handle - any of the Lego games (Star Wars, Indy, Batman - and soon Harry Potter!) or Knights of the Old Republic (TOTALLY fun, slower paced, Star Wars game).

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  114. Video games intrigue me, somewhat, at a distance, sorta. They certainly do look snazzy nowadays. But my video game playing peaked with "Pong" (about 1975) which I never did master. So probably ahead of me with your mad skilz.

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  115. Don't feel bad, I have trouble with the Bioshock games as well, so I just sit and co-pilot for my hubby.

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  116. I know I personally suck at video games (unless they are of the karaoke variety; those I can rock at) and I don't blame you for getting trapped in a bathroom stall. You would think these people would be easier to control considering you have to make they coordinated enough to kill things. I haven't played any violent ones, but I tried the fourth Harry Potter game and somehow got stuck on the roof. Maybe some people are just not meant to be gamers.

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  117. Are we related? I totally suck at video games. I love them, but the only ones that love me back are tetris and... well, tetris.

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  118. This is me THROUGH AND THROUGH. I sit and watch my fiancé play all the games... Gears of War 1 & 2, Dante's Inferno, God of War, etc... but I can't figure out how to play any of them myself! Too much gore, and I jump every time he kills someone.
    Thanks for brightening my day, and I'm glad to know there are others out there like me!

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  119. My game of choice is Halo. I've got the whole looking around/walking thing figured out, I don't run into walls and I'm great with a rocket launcher (or I was, I haven't played so much lately), I am strangely detached from the gore which means I can also play Gears of War! (chainsaw to the head, anyone?)

    But I love kittens too. And puppies. And cake!

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  120. Oh, as an addition to my previous post, I also occasionally cried when I lost and threw the controllers on the floor in rage. You know, just to remind everyone that I was, in fact, a girl.

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  121. I'm like you, Jen. I just don't play and make fun of my hubby when he plays. But I WOULD have played Fistful of Boomstick if they made it for PS3. Any chance to listen to Bruce is worth it.

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  122. I'm not a big fan of gore, but sometimes the violence is just funny!

    My brother tried out the demo for last planet 2... or was it lost planet? I don't remember.

    Anyways... You're walking around looking all ninja-ish then suddenly BOOM! you fly sky high and your body lands to the ground like a rag doll. Looks pretty funny if you do it right!

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  123. I am soo glad I'm not alone in the "I have more fun watching you play video games than actually playing them with you" category :)

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  124. I would rather die than let someone watch me play a video game. Because, like you, I am terrible at it. But if I'm all alone in the house, with some party music on, and no one around to care that I cannot make it past like Level 5 on the original Super Mario Nintendo game? Fun times.

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  125. So funny! Are you sure you're not my clone?

    I only play MMOs because you don't need much hand-eye coordination and the husband is always there to tell me what to do when I'm lost. Which is a lot.

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  126. So I'm really sorry, I'm sure this has been repeated to you a million times but there's no time to go through 115 comments -

    Do you play with tank controls? I ask because me and my husband play games differently - he likes the camera to look where he's got the joystick - like, if he moves it right, the camera goes right. I CANNOT PLAY LIKE THAT.

    So when we play games and trade off, I always have to go into the menu and change it to where things look the OPPOSITE of where I point the stick.

    Try it out, it might help a lot!

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  127. Schrodinger's cat!!! Awesome!
    My cat's name is Schrodinger.
    (I found him in a box)

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  128. I'm a gamer. That is, if gamer means that I have a few good friends, and I often watch them play video games. I also like game fandom a lot. I could trick most people into thinking I actually play Team Fortress 2. (Spoilers: I don't.) Bottom line is, that sounds EXACTLY like what happens every time I actually try. XD

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  129. HAHA I am the same way with video games! I nearly shot my feet as often as I even found another player during a Halo night... granted, alcohol was involved, so I just use that as my excuse hahaah

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  130. OMG my hubby and I worked on all three of the TY the Tasmanian Tiger Games as artists. We totally appologise for the third one.
    I'm not a big gamer so we play most video games together just like you and John.

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  131. @e.m. - I already pre-ordered Lego Harry Potter ;-)

    -Julie

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  132. I loved watching my then boyfriend (now husband) playing video games. I know you're going to hate me for this, but has John ever played Clive Barker's "Undying"? You have to help this one man rid his family of a curse that has made everyone turn into a raving beast of some sort. That's the 5-second synopsis. Of course, I can't tell you the kicker of the story. You can watch between fingers - I love blood and gore and I still watched between fingers at times.

    Have YOU played "Tasty Planet"? or "Plants vs Zombies"? Both are excellent in their cute destruction. And no, I don't have a console, so all of these are computer games.

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  133. I'm not much of a first-person-shooterist, but I've played Bioshock 2 three times through. Scott played it through once, but he's not the achievement fanatic that I am. I've also played through the original game 5 times.

    I actually enjoy spotting for Scott more than I enjoy playing certain games myself. Half-Life 2 was all his; I just looked for health packs and such. He summed up our cooperative gaming experience perfectly here: http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2009/11/15/how-to-play-video-games-together.html

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  134. Hahaha. I did the exact same thing when I first played some...fighting game...or something on my friend's X-Box. Ran into a wall, screamed when the monster came and then gave up in a fit of disgust while everyone I knew laughed at me. Good times...XD After that I just became the commentator. "Oh, she's heading for the Room of Death! GET IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! Oh, yes!"

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  135. Jen, you are hilarious!

    I watched my husband play Left for Dead and I wanted to try, but when I got behind the computer, I was too scared of the zombies to move and I basically just spun around in circles and shot at the walls. My group left me behind and when I heard the zombies attacking them, all I wanted to do was hide!

    The games are too real! LOL!

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  136. I play lots of video games, frequently. However, put me in front of a first-person shooter and I die almost instantaneously T_T
    For awhile Hubs and I were playing Halo 3 with friends, and after awhile they took pity on me and if the pink Spartan was running in a circle looking at the ground they would not shoot me...
    The crazy thing is, I'm great at 3rd-person shooters!

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  137. it gives me great joy that shrodingers cat is an egg in the game. the geeks shall inherit the earth!

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  138. Hubby and I play video games about the same way, lol. I sit there and half pay attention while he's doing things, and randomly spurt out "You're about to die!" "Watch out!" "Oh, no!" "Get the thingy!"

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  139. oh god, thanks for the laugh! I "play" the same way when I'm at my brothers or visiting my parents & helping my dad. I tried my hand at some WW2 shooting game against my brother & he just kept killing me & laughing because i was stuck behind a wall.

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  140. So, just to make sure you don't feel alone in not being good at/liking those video games: the only video games I play are Little Big Planet (you SO should play that) and Mario! :)

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  141. Haha...My husband likes to play Halo 3 and then I tried to play it, but I wasn't coordinated enough to walk and look around at the same time. I'm ok now, but I will only play against my husband because he lets me win. lol

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  142. You may just find that you need more practise at first-person shooters. I've been playing games for years, but FPS never really intrigued me until Bioshock and the like came out, and therefore I am still terrible at them! Give me a platformer or RPG and I am GONE though!

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  143. I ALREADY love this blog. I worship those cakes, but I LIVE for the commentary more! seriously.

    Annnnd. The only "video" games I play are on iphone apps, specifically "scrabble" and a game called "Sneezies" where you initiate sneezes and they burst these google eyes in their bubble and then parachute away....are u riveted yet? Is John looking over your shoulder going WHAT NEW GAME IS THAT!?!?!??!

    yah.

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  144. Bioshock rocks. Have you tried hacking anything (well, in the first one—I still only have a PS2)? That always calms me down when I've been shooting creepy dudes and running away from Big Daddy. It's like "Toobz" but prettier.

    My mom and I team up for Zelda games, but she's the one who either looks through her fingers or leaves the room when I put in something like Resident Evil 4.

    Your post got me in a video game mood...

    Now, 'scuse me while I go play Silent Hill 2 for a few days.

    *readies her favorite section of lead pipe*

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  145. Ahh, I tried to play a slightly less gory game that my husband was doing well in (portal (the orange box thing)) and found i couldn't manage it. So I did similarly and just kept telling him what to do. He doesn't listen tho - is that common? ;)

    Either way, song at the end was good, even if I hadn't made it there myself. :D

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  146. This is why we have a Wii. It's scary enough for me fighting Bowser & his buddies. :) Tried Halo once... I lasted for about 5 minutes. Then I realized the person who was teaching me to play was NOT on my team like he promised me he would be. We had words, and I went back to my Nintendo.

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  147. heh i'm terminally challenged in the video game department, so i feel ya. i can't even win mario.

    came over from cakewrecks, looking forward to the dorkiness! in a good way.

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  148. I just finished Bioshock 2 today. I loved it, as I did the first one. The endings always make me cry because I am big softie, especially regarding little girls.

    However, my husband has the same annoying habit as yours, to give 'advice' while I'm playing. Now I'm not as good has him but I have played many games in my time. I have to tell him to bugger off now.

    As for a non-violent game, I really recommend Tropico 3. You play the president of a tropical Caribbean nation. It's sort of like Sim City but with a better soundtrack and more fun (you can be good and democratic, or a despot).

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  149. Yup. Another "backseat gamer" here. My favorite helpful line is to simply yell "GRENADE!" whenever some baddie has tossed said offending object at my fiance's character. I also make fun of his inability to drive in game. He has a tendency to flip over whatever vehicle his character is driving. Oh, and like the first commenter said, I highly recommend the LEGO titles if you want to get back into gaming. They are fun and not too challenging.

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  150. the closest i can get is webkinz. you should look into it. it helps if you have a young niece to use as your cover. "Oh i just have one because SHE has one. i'm not insane." so far so good.

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  151. I'm the same way with my husband! He plays assassin's creed and I help him with the puzzles and stuff, but give me the controller and I will be irreversibly stuck in a corner of two walls staring at the sky...I am completely uncoordinated. I do, however, enjoy playing The House of the Dead Overkill - a campy zombie game for the wii. It's awesome...I just hold the gun and shoot zombies...it moves around for me! :P

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  152. I don't mind the gore and the violence, but like you, I cannot coordinate myself in video games. Any game that involves controlling vechicles is an even worse disaster. Perhaps there's a good reason why I never learnt how to drive....

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  153. Lol reminds me of how I play the Halo games. I make my husband drive the tank and stuff because if I did it innocent marines would die by being crushed by me.. sad but true I am hooked and making him help me out lol.. hey at least he got me to play the thing after months of trying to get me to do it finally I gave in now I am a killing machine.. of aliens and innocent people apparently.

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  154. I love your new blog! I just finished Bioshock 1 & 2 and I must admit I was on the edge of my seat and jumped at every sound in the game. I also now imagine every little girl I see draining the Adam out of my corpse which made babysitting over the weekend unusually disturbing.

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  155. Hahaha that is SO me! I sit there and tell my younger brother what to do, and when it's my turn to try I freak out if I'm about to die, and he laughs and refuses to help, so I just give him back to controller and revert to telling him what to do....until he stops listening. Then the vicious cycle repeats.

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  156. That game is HARD. I always have issues with first-person shooters, so I leave those to my husband. Have you played Star Wars: The Force Unleashed? If not, you totally have to. I'm secretly pretty awesome at it. The sequel is coming out later this year and it looks AMAZING.

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  157. Hi (I thought you might be more likely to see it here than among the 1500+ comments on your first post)! I'm so glad you're expanding your influence over the blogosphere with EPBOT.

    I wish I were more of a video game player, as my sister works for a gaming company (actually, she designed all the packaging and printed promo materials for BioShock, including the logo and everything in the special edition package) and could get me all the games I wanted. Unfortunately my hand-eye coordination is barely enough to let me play a game of Tetris so, oh well.

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  158. I do the same thing with my husband and L4d2. Hooray for the "backseat" gamers of the world.

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  159. My brother LOOOOOVES video games. I try to get him to get me past levels, shouting, "TURN AROUND! HIT HIM AGAIN! FASTER!"
    And then he turns around and gives me this dirty look and says, "OK, if YOU know how to do it, be my guest!"
    Haha. So, enjoy your video games/gamers, folks.

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  160. I already commented, but have to share...
    So I read your post to my Hubby. He agreed it was hilariously similar to our gameplay.
    Now, guess where we are?!
    Yes, GameStop, buying BioShock 2!
    How much is this new blog going to cost me? Hmmm?
    Alex

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  161. Ha! My husband and I are just like you two! I totally suck at video games when I have to use both sticks. I enjoy watching and helping my husband play his games. Glad I'm not the only one. I love your blog so far :D Keep 'em coming!

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  162. Ha ha, this is so me trying to play a video game with my nephew. I love that you have a new blog and find the details of everyone's life but my own fascinating so yay Jen! Get on with your bad self!

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  163. I used to jump out of my skin every time Jason showed up on the Friday the 13th Nintendo game.

    Also, try WoW... nothing like being uncoordinated AND having 13 year olds call you a noob all day. Good stuff. ;)

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  164. Oh wow, that was SOOOO me as a teenager! My best friend (and neighbor) loved video games and always wanted me to play the 2-player things with her. I'm... pretty sure my player looked more like a deranged retarded cat learning to walk.

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  165. hahahaha! Not 'at' but "in". Too Funny!

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  166. Australian's DO yell out crikey and you beauty at random times...

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  167. This is also how I play video games with my husband. Couch-coaching. Bioshock is really scary. But supercool in a steampunk way. But also major creepy.

    Like you, I prefer kinder, gentler games when I play. I love the classics like Tetris, Zelda and Super Mario Bros.

    Speaking of, YOU MUST WATCH THIS AWESOME VIDEO if you haven't seen it yet. It's the marching band at Cal Berkeley doing the best old school video game tribute in the history of mankind. It's from 07. LOVE!!!http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1789288

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  168. I will always love you, Bubble Bobble. Always. *tears*

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  169. I know exactly how you feel! I was playing a game... I can't remember what it was now. All I remember was it being on the XBox and you had to kill these rats. Every time one came up to me I screamed! It didn't help that the controller shook every time I was hit. Then there were some zombies or something... and I picked up their rotting flesh and it slowly started killing me. (I'm an RPG playing girl.) Luckily I am getting better at video games, but I still jump and squirm.

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  170. you should sooo get Rockband. You can sing at first, and then learn how to get the guitar and such. Lego Rockband is pretty cool too, although I don't recommend trying to play dumbs on Blur's Song 2 on ANYTHING other than 'easy' it's not pretty. if anything Jon will get a chuckle at you attempting to keep up, like my husband did.

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  171. Jen, I can TOTALLY relate to this. I actually laughed out loud reading your post. I consider myself a skilled gamer - erm, make that a skilled civilian tactical advisor to my husband. When he convinced me to try playing World of Warcraft with him, it took me several days to master the art of walking. His big mistake was showing me how to obtain and ride a horse in the game. After that, all I wanted to do was gallop around with sparkles streaming out behind me while he took care of the killing part.

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  172. I love this blog already! You might consider making a facebook page and update it with your posts. That way I could "Like" them and spread the word to this new awesomeness!

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  173. haaaaaa this is so hilarious ! My husband is right into those shoot em and kill em games....usually i burst into the room screaming IM HIT !! MAN DOWN, MAN DOWN !! and throw myself to the floor amidst fits of laughter.
    oh and i thought you might like to know, im an aussie and we dont all say Crikey and You Beauty, oh and we dont all say G'Day Mate either. I know i know, ive totally ruined your whole image of us for you now havent i? HAAA. Sorry but it had to be done.

    Great new blog by the way ,

    CRIKEY IM LOVING IT.

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  174. I also watch my husband's video game playing and shout directions. (Oblivion, btw is too cool, think slashing dragons and trolls while trying to find a cure for vimpirism) And, I too cannot control it. So, I prefer to watch and figure out the puzzle while he kills. And, yes, I will scream and wake my children when the random creepy comes along.

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  175. My husband LOVES to play video games, and my nickname for BioShock is "the scary game"- I can't stand it! Have you ever fallen asleep to it? You wake up to the Little Sisters' high-pitched "Where are you, Mr. Bubbles?" and have no clue what's going on? Eerie...

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  176. I love watching my boyfriend play Bioshock! I quit trying to play games like that, but something about that game I just love watching!

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  177. I'm so bad at video games, but they are my boyfriend's life source, so every once in a while, I try to play with him. Mostly I'm god awful, but we did successfully play through Resident Evil 5 together and I had a blast BUT the walking around and looking at stuff at the same time thing still boggles my mind. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

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  178. They seem so easy until I try to play them myself! Then I am not so good...

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  179. Jen, I am really enjoying getting to know you and John more. You have a true gift with words. Blessings to you both.

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  180. Co-pilot is my favorite way to play video games as well.

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  181. This sounds like how my boyfriend Jon & me play video games. Except, I refused to even watch him play BioShock, because it scares the crap outta me! It took me FOREVER to learn the whole moving with the left, looking around with the right thing. But I've finally got the hang of it, and now we play Oblivion together every night. I do all the travelling and talking, he does all the fighting and killing while I look away. It's actually pretty fun!

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  182. I love your humor and now my son is a fan too. When he quit chuckling about your post he mentioned tht you played better than I did. I'm thinking about breaking his thumbs . . .

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  183. I know EXACTLY what you mean about being uncoordinated. I've spent years watching my guys play, and I mean, how hard can it be to aim and shoot? My first attempts at Assassin's creed led to me running off a balcony instead of taking the stairs, falling down a hill, accidentally kidney-stabbing someone I was supposed to interview, and all around failing at stealth, losing my life to a bunch of templars who caught me. But don't worry. Boys ARE doofus'. Doofuses? Doofi?

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  184. HAHAHAHA!!! I did the same thing with BioShock numero uno... over the space of TWO relationships!

    Then I tried to play Fallout 3 by myself.

    I didn't make it out of the basement thingy.

    Glad I'm not the only one!

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  185. as with the other commenters, i too am a back-seat driver when it comes to those high-level video games. my favorites to actually play? anything on the wii (hooray for things like bowling, i kick my husband's a$$ every time!) and classic super mario bros., which my brother was able to get for the wii. your commentary made me laugh out loud at work -- thanks! :D
    can't wait for more epbot posts!

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  186. I feel your pain with video games. I used to play Lego Star Wars and the only thing I was good for was team play where the other person ran around and did everything and I picked up all the coins for the death and destruction. :) I am a loyal ready of the CW, and I'm so excited to hear what you have to say about things other than cake!

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  187. I watch a few guy friends tear through these video games, and hear them talk about them all the time. I dropped several heavy hints that I wanted Dragon Age:Origins for Xmas and was giddy when I got it. I started playing, got to the second fight, killed everyone and spent the next HOUR trying to figure out how to get back out of the frelling castle. I'm also lost somewhere in Lego Star Wars and can't get out of the forest in my Harry Potter game.

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  188. I'm exactly the same! I just don't have the coordination to look places and walk at the same time. I played Halo once, and that inolved me looking at the ground and running around in circles with all my friends laughing at me. I'll stick with mario games and super smash bros, thank you very much.

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  189. Jen-- I whole heartedly approve... and by the way, MY DH and I play 90% of video games EXACTLY the same way (YES, I find it fun too!) Only one or two exceptions to that rule. And yes, it's my job to be the extra eyes AND the medkit life reminder!

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  190. I feel your pain on the first person shooter games...the first time I tried playing one (after ridiculing a friend for sucking at it) I proceeded to epically (sp?) fail at EVERYTHING I tried to do. Couldn't walk, couldn't shoot, nothing. Just ridiculous. (btw...been reading CW for months and months...LOVE IT!!!)

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  191. This is an identical replica of my relationship with both video games and my husband.

    There are very few things I love more than hanging out with the hubby screaming random advice while he fights baddies.

    I have also had the experience of walking into walls and door jams while he snickers loudly.

    I also enjoyed the strange vindication I experienced when he finally convinced me to play two player with him on Call of Duty and about 5 minutes into the first level he questioned, "Why are we out of ammo???" Tee Hee.

    Thanks for sharing this!! Bioshock is a GREAT game!! :)

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  192. Love the new blog. Have you seen this little guy?
    A robot necklace that tells time!

    http://www.modcloth.com/store/ModCloth%2FWomens%2FAccessories%2FNecklaces/Wind+Me+Up+Necklace

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  193. I laughed out loud. a lot. And then I made my bf read it and he snickered too. We've had remarkably similar conversations. like, almost the same. I also help "coach" when he plays sports games, and I'm usually the mean coach, not the happy, cheerful, positive reinforcement one, I'm sad to say.

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  194. I looove Bioshock!! Mass Effect is also fun, but mainly ruined for me by watching my man play it first...kinda ruins the surprises when you know what's coming. The new blog is a great idea, have added it to my reading and looking forward to more funny writings from you...Viva la girl geek!!

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  195. I'm so glad that I'm not the only backseat gamer wife! :) On the other hand, I've found that I'm halfway decent at Halo multiplayer when I', rather tipsy; it keeps me from over-correcting aim and view field as badly. Also, Ghostbusters is a really fun game to watch!

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  196. This is sooo me and my guy. Except he gets a little frustrated with me.

    What a great post. I read it aloud him.

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  197. I love CW, just as much for your commentary as for the photos, and I am so excited about this new blog! I had never heard of Bioshock (My husband and I are still stuck in the iron age playing Age of Empires) until I read this hilarious post, and just now I found this through crochetpatterncentral.com:

    http://nerdigurumi.com/2010/02/big-daddy-bouncer-from-bioshock-with.html

    Looking forward to the next post!

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  198. WHERE!! did you get that robot? Did you design it??? I LOVE IT!!!

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  199. OMG...Jen, I feel you about the nervousness. I play Bioshock 1 when I visit my brothers, and I think they let me play just to laugh at me. I spend most of the time going "AAAAAIIUUUHHHHHH!" And shooting at walls, missing my target completely. Scary stuff... But also fun. And amusing to others.

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  200. Definitely a back seat player.
    I stick to my Sims style DSi games, and my blogs of course.

    Loving this new blog BTW.
    Came across CW and stayed purely for your witty commentary.

    P.S I am Australian.
    I only say "Crickey" when ripping on Steve Irwin

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