My Scruffy Guardian Angel

Today I had a treadmill stress test at the cardiologist's, and at the last second the technician (a rather gruff ex-parole officer) banned John from the room.

Thing is, John is ALWAYS in the room. Every doctor's visit, every exam, no matter how benign. (There's a traumatic back story for this, but let's not dwell.) Anyway, the exchange happened too fast for me to really assure John I was OK with it, so when I emerged 17 minutes later I found him directly behind the waiting room door - like, I nearly banged into him - positively vibrating with nervous rage.

It took me the whole drive home to convince John I really was fine, since I'm famous for saying I am when I'm not - especially at doctors' offices. Plus the tech had promised we'd only be 10 or 12 minutes, so us going long hadn't helped. "Three more minutes," John said, "And I was going in there."

Believe it or not, John's not inclined to be the over-protective sort at all. It's just something he's learned since the night my panic began 8 years ago, since I've clung to him so many times for strength and for sanity.

Sometimes I see a certain look cross a nurse's faces; a look that wonders if John is really some kind of a brute, and if my dependency hints at something darker. It's a variation of the store clerk's look when John asks questions for me, with me standing right there. The look that says, "Geez, dude, let her talk for herself." 

I want to tell them I don't *want* to talk, that John is my everything who does anything to spare me pain. That this is the gentle giant who moves the stars for me. That I am not weak for stepping back sometimes, and letting him lead me through.

I don't say anything, though; I just smile, and remember how grateful I am that John doesn't care what others see or think. He's my scruffy guardian angel, here to ask how I'm doing during the exam, here to fight and laugh and create with me, here to blame his toots on the cats. ;)

Aha, and now it's tomorrow, my mumble-dy mumth birthday, so check out my birthday card that turns into a robot:

:squee!:

It's from friends I met through Epbot (thanks again, Jen, Jeff, & Emily!), and when I think about how I've met almost all of my closest friends today because of this blog, well, heck, you just don't get a better birthday present than that.

Although John tells me we're going to visit some sloths today, so WE SHALL SEE. 

This Unicorn Princess Has Good News, Also Tsums Too Much

The past week has been lots of routine doctor visits (Tomorrow I have to RUN. On a TREADMILL. NoooOOOOoooo), frantic last minute cosplay crafting (which will never be done in time for MegaCon, but hey, it's fun to try, right?), visits with friends we don't see enough, and of course, stressing about how to fit it all into my incredibly tight schedule of trying to sleep, joking about bad cakes, and Tsum Tsum-ing.

Have I mentioned I made the mistake of downloading BOTH Disney Tsum Tsum *and* Magic Kingdom on my phone last week, and am now a Disney zombot (zombie robot, duh) who hears fairy swishes and chirpy chipmunk voices in her sleep?

John finally pointed out that my feverish poking fits while playing this game are probably not helping my insomnia at night. The adrenaline rush is real, peeps.

Then there's this thing:

TAP ALL THE THINGS.

This one is more relaxing, at least, but for the first 10 minutes I was like, "How does anyone find this addicting? You just tap on check marks!"

[Cut to 3 days later when I'm obsessively opening the app every 15 minutes to tap on check marks.]


Getting back to my doctor stuff, I have good news regarding my Hashimoto's I want to crow about, so STAND BACK:

Ahem hem hem.

[steps up on chair]

[crowing] MY ANTIBODIES ARE STILL DROPPING, AND (here's the best part) I DID IT WITHOUT GIVING UP GLUUUUUTEN!!!

I know that's going to ruffle a lot of feathers out there, but after being lectured by yet another doctor last week about how I had to go GF  - even though all of my tests for gluten sensitivity/allergies were negative, including the rare IgG Antibody test, and even though I did a full month trial and felt zero improvement - it was incredibly satisfying to see said doctor's eyebrows shoot up at my last test results.

My antibodies have steadily decreased with every test since I was first diagnosed with Hashi's, and as I told the doctor - much to his displeasure - I have gluten with every single meal. (MMMM GLUTENY GLUTEN.) My antibodies are down to 136. The goal is zero, of course, but I started around 200 - and keep in mind many Hashi's sufferers have antibodies in the thousands, so I'm one of the fortunate souls who caught it early.

(For those who haven't had to read a bunch of books on this stuff: the antibodies I'm talking about are the things my own body is using to attack my thyroid tissue. Which is why we want zero. And also what makes Hashi's an autoimmune disease.)

Since I was massively deficient in vitamin D when I was first diagnosed a year and a half ago, and a vitamin D deficiency can actually trigger Hashimotos, I believe my silver bullet has been the D drops. Plus maybe the Selenium and other supplements I'm taking.

Anyway, new Doc finally grudgingly admitted that 20% of Hashi's folks maybe *don't* have to go gluten-free, and I was all:

But in a super lady-like manner. (Did I mention I was wearing my rainbow glitter shoes?)

I'm still struggling with energy levels and other less-fun stuff, but we're tweaking some meds and working on it, so there's always hope. I like hope. Hope is good.

One final happy thing: I wore said glitter shoes out to an indie craft show last weekend, and I got more compliments on them than I've ever had on anything ever, possibly including my own wedding. Vendors were literally standing up from behind their tables to watch my feet go by. Then this hair color lady came over and put (temporary) glittery purple and teal streaks in my hair, and I felt like a freaking unicorn princess. It was glorious.

And no, you don't get pics. You just got awkward Jen pics last post! Besides, this:

Slothilda is my spirit animal.

 Happy Tuesday, y'all. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go tap some check marks.