tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post6863866887476138651..comments2024-03-14T03:43:02.583-04:00Comments on EPBOT: Writing My Way OutJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11888187687405622408noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-90903651761937952182016-07-26T23:04:18.220-04:002016-07-26T23:04:18.220-04:00Really beautiful. I suffer from panic disorder and...Really beautiful. I suffer from panic disorder and agoraphobia and understand.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-36269501755207956522016-03-29T10:34:09.081-04:002016-03-29T10:34:09.081-04:00Depression Lies. Anxiety Lies. Feelings Lie. Somet...Depression Lies. Anxiety Lies. Feelings Lie. Sometimes it feels good to believe the lies. Sometimes it feels awful. It's hard to remember that any of it is our choice, because then we feel doubly awful, because not only does the horrible feeling exist, but we're doing it to ourselves, as though masochistic to the highest degree.<br /><br />There is something heavy holding me down lately. I don't know if I'll have the strength to fight it, but I've finally begun to understand that it's there -- that it's fightable. That it doesn't necessarily have to be this way.<br /><br />Thank you for your bravery and your compassion, Jen. You're a remarkable human being.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-40939414134937882182016-03-29T03:33:40.515-04:002016-03-29T03:33:40.515-04:00I'm not trying to sell you on Xstianity here. ...I'm not trying to sell you on Xstianity here. Really not. (I feel like the Amway salesman who just happens to have the thing that will get the wine stain out of your cream suede skirt (Yo! Amway-vians: if you do have that product, get in touch.) <br /><br />That said: The story is that Joy is real. Love is real. All the bits that tear you down, the bits where you tear yourself down <i> none of that was neant to be</i>. <br /><br />I'm not sure how to write this sans full-stop evangelising, but I'll try: Don't believe the fools trying to sell you on the ideas that the worst bits are "authentic" and anything horriffic, depressing, or demoralising is Really Real. <br /><br />Bollocks.<br /><br />If someone told you that the really most real thing about Miss Tonks was the litter-box ean-ups, the hair-chewing whatsits--? Would you believe them? After all, they're not wrong. Those things exist. They matter. You have to deal with them. But you KNOW her.<br /><br />Yeah. <br /><br />Well it isn't true about you, either.<br /> The Overgrown Hobbithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09806927514541692971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-15778624470883682272016-03-26T23:00:12.849-04:002016-03-26T23:00:12.849-04:00I really, really needed the reminder that feelings...I really, really needed the reminder that feelings aren't permanent just this very minute. Thank you, oh wise one!Rosie Dasherhttp://www.shemightberight.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-77570474631755799442016-03-26T19:14:03.247-04:002016-03-26T19:14:03.247-04:00Thank you Jen for sharing what many of us are afra...Thank you Jen for sharing what many of us are afraid to say out loud. Life isn't always going to be easy but it is especially bad when our feeling lie to us and we believe them. We need to acknowledge out loud that life stinks yet find the courage to find some spark that brings us joy. Nothing is ever permanent - joy and peace are fleeting but it can be found. We are responsible for our own happiness and inner peace. Hugs and prayers to everyone who needs them.Kylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10901027323207014779noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-33857869089498073802016-03-25T19:41:33.261-04:002016-03-25T19:41:33.261-04:00Thanks for you lovely words, Annette! If I can hel...Thanks for you lovely words, Annette! If I can help someone else start their own path of healing then this time of trial will be worth it. I really like that quote. I had never seen it before and it speaks to me deeply. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02697333148851347980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-34441023793085829592016-03-25T18:27:53.583-04:002016-03-25T18:27:53.583-04:00I'm always telling my SO's GPS to "st...I'm always telling my SO's GPS to "stop telling me what to do!" I feel you <3 Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05226740509628091408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-80683134244352951402016-03-25T13:14:15.470-04:002016-03-25T13:14:15.470-04:00Wildstar _ I haven't walked your path but so ...Wildstar _ I haven't walked your path but so many of the things you said resonated with me. I lived with deep depression and anxiety for about 10 or so years. When I was young I was abused at home and bullied at school. This led to me being so damaged I could only ever feel emotional pain and fear. It was constant all consuming with only a few reprieves that I can remember. For that time and for many years after, I would analyze rooms, people, look for escape routes, make sure my back always faced a wall.... and I HATED anyone standing behind me. <br />I wanted death so many times in those years. I took each day as it was and just hoped I made it to the next one and maybe one day of those days I would feel things the way everyone else did... until I did. The day I started to feel different emotions than the ones I had lived with so long was the day I actually thought "this it it I'm dying". But I made it through, I made it to a place where I can enjoy my life & actually experience joy. <br />So - I won't tell you to just be happy. I just want you to have hope, to take that hope through days where if nothing else you think tomorrow will be better... until you have fewer of those bad days. Depression is a lying thieving cancer that destroys your soul - I want you to have hope and fight itMeghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14194309112558069687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-61194138247092347202016-03-25T12:04:41.000-04:002016-03-25T12:04:41.000-04:00rotten lying bastards. Yes. thank you. rotten lying bastards. Yes. thank you. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-11164487091553971592016-03-25T07:28:57.963-04:002016-03-25T07:28:57.963-04:00I gave up sugar a month ago and was so amazed at t...I gave up sugar a month ago and was so amazed at the feelings withdraw induced in me. I was so miserable, I thought I would never be happy again. I mourned my lost substance. I felt empty. I felt hopeless. And I knew all it would take would be a snickers bar to make me feel like a million bucks. It started to even out and then, after throwing a dinner party, I decided to just finish off the cake instead of finding room in the fridge. I can not begin to explain the horrors. I did feel good, real good, until I was jittering around the house with the walls spinning. When I crashed, my husband asked in a panicked voice if he should take me to the ER, because I was sprawled across the floor sobbing and twitching.<br /><br />Because of a food! <br /><br />Good heavens! I suffer from a lot of health issues, and each carries its good and bad days, but to be reduced to that left me feeling really betrayed by my body. So in other words, I get you. I also suggest taking birth control year round, going off the pill once or twice. It's really helped with my pms. Alexandria M Powellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03075554506775246616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-49726274174941841372016-03-25T03:24:15.155-04:002016-03-25T03:24:15.155-04:00Thanks Jen, I needed that. xThanks Jen, I needed that. xCaroline Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16458832101616631036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-44620802598876211252016-03-24T21:32:53.032-04:002016-03-24T21:32:53.032-04:00You are a remarkable human being, Jen! You've...You are a remarkable human being, Jen! You've articulated part of the foundation of being human - and it such a beautiful way! Please keep writing and posting! It means so much to so many people. I think that a lot of our tendencies to grab onto the negative is built-in: it's the most basic survival instinct that's hard wired in our nervous systems. Once a upon a time, a common shared ancestor of ours ate something that made it sick and it remembered because its survival depended on remembering. We're made up of layers and layers of brain lobes and functions, our highest cognitive functions are overlaid on top of very ancient wiring - it's no wonder so much makes no sense! But, there is a much wiser part of us, deep within us, that we have to learn to listen to. The fear, the anxiety, all of the shadowy moody parts of us are just another facet of ourselves that we have to learn to embrace. I am, again and always, so glad to have found your blog! Thank you! You are remarkable, Jen!Epbot Fanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09032834473130279248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-55366943801753281142016-03-24T20:54:36.887-04:002016-03-24T20:54:36.887-04:00Keep hanging on - your story brought me to tears! ...Keep hanging on - your story brought me to tears! Every day you wake up and decide to be here is a victory, even if you cannot see it. Please reach out to someone where you live even if it hasn't worked in the past. A virtual hug and a prayer for today have been a good day - and if not, know that there is more than one person who is grateful that you are still here, telling your story and being part of our world.Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17597852466280313342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-78999362566184184062016-03-24T20:43:24.877-04:002016-03-24T20:43:24.877-04:00Thank you for sharing so much about your life and ...Thank you for sharing so much about your life and being so brave to say you need more help. You may not realize it, but by telling someone else you are doing it, you are surely inspiring someone else - “Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.” ― Anne Lamott May your dawn comes soon and you begin to feel better!<br /> Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17597852466280313342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-49674978782733490342016-03-24T20:39:09.228-04:002016-03-24T20:39:09.228-04:00Your optimism is beautiful and courageous - thank ...Your optimism is beautiful and courageous - thank you for sharing. A wise woman on the internet said, “There will be islands of joy in this pain, that you can climb onto and rest before you have to slip back into the deep waters.” May you have less pain and more joy in the days ahead.Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17597852466280313342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-23635331721167019952016-03-24T20:17:35.745-04:002016-03-24T20:17:35.745-04:00I will most definitely look for that book! Thank y...I will most definitely look for that book! Thank you for being so helpful and giving to us all! <3Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02697333148851347980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-44882959343710483322016-03-24T18:34:57.666-04:002016-03-24T18:34:57.666-04:00While I have always felt bad about your anxiety is...While I have always felt bad about your anxiety issues, I couldn't really relate. UNTIL SUNDAY that is. I was freaking out...home alone...and so anxious about stupid stuff that I was scared and unable to function, and not doing anything but trying to breathe. WOW! I think I finally figured out why I was having the anxiety and haven't experienced it again, but now I can relate. I love this post and it helps me also understand what you and others go through on a regular basis. (My husband has anxiety/depression attacks sometimes too and while I just hold him and try to comfort him, now I understand better what it does to him).Kalendinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-62373777009615441212016-03-24T15:47:52.390-04:002016-03-24T15:47:52.390-04:00This made me cry, in a good way. Thank you. So muc...This made me cry, in a good way. Thank you. So much.skiprilla95https://www.blogger.com/profile/15966489518349029407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-39977356027921993372016-03-24T15:21:09.963-04:002016-03-24T15:21:09.963-04:00Your story is interesting. I had the opposite resp...Your story is interesting. I had the opposite response. I remember the day when I discovered that my thyroid problems followed the calendar. I was soooo happy... now I had a grip on why today was so hard when last week was so easy.<br /><br />Also, my herbalist fixed me up with St. John's Wort to balance my mood and hormones... amazing stuff.Sofourthhttp://sssscomic.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-44359264105682062062016-03-24T15:17:09.916-04:002016-03-24T15:17:09.916-04:00I have nothing to say that hasn't already been...I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said by others, but wanted to give you some genuine, from the cockles of my heart, kinda-but-not-really-weird-because-I-don't-really-know-you LOVE. I hope you can see what you've done here...it seems to me that you are some people's salvation, and that should make you proud. LaurenKEnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-4235594982152507072016-03-24T15:14:03.621-04:002016-03-24T15:14:03.621-04:00I'm so proud of you, Stephenie!!
While you&#...I'm so proud of you, Stephenie!! <br /><br />While you're waiting for that first doctor appt, you might check out "Hope And Help For Your Nerves" from the library. It's an old, tiny little book (pay no attention to the reference to electric shocks...), but the tips I learned there were a major turning point in getting me through my anxiety attacks. Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11888187687405622408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-67707793426473424012016-03-24T15:10:03.276-04:002016-03-24T15:10:03.276-04:00I feel you, Wildstar. I can't say I fully unde...I feel you, Wildstar. I can't say I fully understand, or even that I've been where you are, but I believe you in a visceral way, if that makes sense.<br /><br />I can't imagine having my broken parts broken so long that I forget what it's like to have a reprieve. Nothing I can say will make that feel better, because, again, *lying bastard feelings.* In your case, though, I truly believe this is the lie your body is feeding you: "...nothing in the world can stop it, or help... the only thing I can do is try to drown it out."<br /><br />Please don't give up hope and believe this lie. Something out there - something you haven't heard of yet or tried or read or tweaked the dosage of - SOMETHING can help. I believe this for myself, and for everyone. It is definitely NOT "just your perspective" - it's that your quest is a helluva lot harder than ours, and you have to work so much harder just to keep breathing. <br /><br />I'm amazed and proud and inspired that you're still here. Every day you open your eyes is a victory; you are an epic warrior goddess slaying monsters most of have never SEEN. So please keep fighting - even when the "fight" means watching videos all day to drown out the monsters. Choose to believe something out there will help, even if everything in you screams this is a lie. Because one day - and maybe sooner than you think - it won't be a lie. Promise.<br /><br />{hugs}Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11888187687405622408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-85556775478900339712016-03-24T14:42:31.038-04:002016-03-24T14:42:31.038-04:00Thank you Jen. I've been going through more di...Thank you Jen. I've been going through more difficult than usual times the past few weeks, and this post was exactly what I needed.Jen Knoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-52092235959824534232016-03-24T13:28:58.920-04:002016-03-24T13:28:58.920-04:00I think by the shear number of comments here, it i...I think by the shear number of comments here, it is obvious that this post was thoughtful, moving, and truly resonated with so many people-including myself.<br /><br />I have suffered from anxiety and depression my entire life. I have been on different depression medications for the past 16 years. However, something that worked for me is Whole30. Has anyone heard of it/tried it? Since August 2015, I stopped eating sugar, gluten, soy, and "frakenfoods" and now only eat vegetables, fruit, meats, and healthy fats like avocado, olive oil, and coconut oil. For the first time in 16 years, I have been able to wean off and completely stop my medication!!! Eating healthy foods has helped me so much with my anxiety and depression, it's just mind-boggling. I would highly recommend trying a diet switch when dealing with these issues. I just wanted to share and hope this may help someone!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-83703293126056945572016-03-24T12:35:41.506-04:002016-03-24T12:35:41.506-04:00Thanks for this. My husband struggles to understan...Thanks for this. My husband struggles to understand why sometimes (it can be for only a day or last for months, really) I just can't see past the darkness- and this explains it perfectly. I haven't yet gotten to the point where I can recognize that it is just a phase- but this helps. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com