tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post4114643158579790795..comments2024-03-14T03:43:02.583-04:00Comments on EPBOT: The Enduring Hope of "Someday"Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11888187687405622408noreply@blogger.comBlogger342125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-15925445030446058922014-05-15T19:56:20.427-04:002014-05-15T19:56:20.427-04:00Thank you for this, largely for the two reassuranc...Thank you for this, largely for the two reassurances that a) it doesn't make me weak and b) that it's okay to take the time to heal because "conquering" it isn't always the answer. I spent a lot of time with my mom kind of forcing me to function even when I probably couldn't, and nowadays that I'm long gone from that environment, I'm still learning that it's okay to curl up and hide for a while instead.DamienFoxhttp://facebook.com/damien.fox.391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-35051009124156115422013-10-10T02:54:36.786-04:002013-10-10T02:54:36.786-04:00Thank you so much for posting this. One of my dea...Thank you so much for posting this. One of my dear friends has pretty bad anxiety, and I've been trying to understand it. She hasn't been able to articulate it well, and this really helps me understand her.<br /><br />Thank you for your honesty, and all of the work you put into both this blog and Cakewrecks! They have made my day on more then one occasion.Miss Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12238350777844809269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-2757699813916822292013-05-31T22:09:01.803-04:002013-05-31T22:09:01.803-04:00I have agoraphobia also. Right now I am on vacati...I have agoraphobia also. Right now I am on vacation with my family, a 12 hour drive from home. A year ago I couldn't ride in a car period. I deal with the same 'need to have an escape route' among other crazy things, but that's my biggest. 2 years ago I traveled 14 hours to Disney...wrapped in a blanket and crying! It's an up and down battle, but I've learned that the ups do come, and that helps. I couldn't help but laugh when I read some of your post..like how you panic in stopped traffic; that is so me. Thanks for this post! Knowing there are others who suffer from the same crazy irrational fears is healing :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-82954129581233037152013-03-14T00:36:00.031-04:002013-03-14T00:36:00.031-04:00Okay, I know I'm a little late to the comment ...Okay, I know I'm a little late to the comment party, but I had to share... Your post brought tears to my eyes (so many things do), mainly because I've been reading Cake Wrecks for years and Epbot on and off for at least a year. I have yet to see you at an event, but I feel like I know you. This part of your life I didn't know. I'm usually a very upbeat and cheery person, but every four years since I was 12, I've gotten suddenly depressed. I've been so grateful to the family and friends who waited through the spells where I would go from laughing to crying in mere seconds. It can be hard for them to understand and to be honest it's hard for me to understand. As if the periodic depression wasn't enough, I think I have (mild) panic attacks when certain subjects come up. Usually they're subjects that have caused a major conflict between myself and someone I love, but it usually goes the same way. My stomach hurts, my ears ring, I shake uncontrollably, my thoughts move too fast for me to make sense of any of them. Sometimes I could swear it even blurs my vision. The one thing that has helped with these mini attacks is writing. Whether it's a bit of fiction or an essay capturing my high-speed thoughts, I'm always much calmer after I write. That said, I hope you find your blogs to be a calming outlet too and I want to add to a previous commenter's post: They suggested finding out if your church streams or uploads messages, but many aren't quite so tech-savvy. It's usually a pretty simple matter to get a sound tech (or person with a recorder) to make a cd for you when you can't be there. My mom has done it a number of times with great success. All that being said, thanks so much for all you do, and best of luck with your somedays :DAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14868762284434343400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-10882113752928409372012-11-28T18:05:56.855-05:002012-11-28T18:05:56.855-05:00I just want to say thank you for this post. I had ...I just want to say thank you for this post. I had my first ever panic attack 13 days ago and then another one last night. Because of reading this I understood what was happening even if I couldn't control it. Taking quick action during the second my husband called the nurses line and got me into see the psychiatrist today. I now have a diagnosis and meds to help me have more control next time. <br /><br />I still feel like a burden but I will keep your motto close. I will also send it to my husband to remind him how wonderful I am still. Hoptrollophttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10866692240835777699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-48210571452400268602012-11-05T01:26:17.777-05:002012-11-05T01:26:17.777-05:00i know this is an older post, but i'm only jus...i know this is an older post, but i'm only just now reading it. i'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through. my heart goes out to you.<br /><br />i don't have panic attacks or anything but i've definitely allowed myself to be consumed by phobias. people just won't get it. i'll be out and need to do things a little differently and i should just buck it up and deal with it, as if it's really that easy.<br /><br />if we were all able to face our fears so easily and just take a big gulp and do it (whatever it is), no one would have any fears. everyone has some kind of weakness, we can't be strong all the time in every aspect of our lives.<br /><br />i figure when it comes to these sorts of things, most people will look at you funny at first. in your case, a friend might not get why you can't just go on a simply kiddy ride. but if a so-called friend keeps pushing, time after time about why you can't do these kind of things, then they're no friend. if i knew someone who was afraid of the dark i wouldn't turn the lights off when they were in a room, so if someone can't understand a person's fear or anxieties even after some time, then they just don't want to and they're not worth being friends with.khanadahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01847427279630804606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-45764700762938616152012-11-01T17:46:26.664-04:002012-11-01T17:46:26.664-04:00I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the Wreck the Hal...I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the Wreck the Halls tour. I know I did, and it'd be really weird to find out, this long later, that when I was geeking out, you were fighting off panic attacks. (Houston)<br /><br />Now that I've said that, I couldn't help but notice....<br />Weeping Angel gargoyle!!!<br /><br />-ParagrinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-49881527007717551872012-10-21T23:00:30.666-04:002012-10-21T23:00:30.666-04:00Jen... my anxiety is not nearly to the degree of y...Jen... my anxiety is not nearly to the degree of yours, but I want you to know that you are not alone. I admire you for the things you do accomplish... :) i avoid going to disney (or any other amusement park) because I can't handle crowds of people walking towards me. conventions overwhelm me (i was at one recently and was exhausted by the end of the day on saturday that i spent the next day as a hermit). concerts that didn't bother me when i was younger, now i have to have space in front of me, away from people bumping into me, etc... i admire that you still go to disney and conventions and that you go on the cake wrecks tour... i admire that you have found the strength to do those things. i have found myself thinking, "if Jen can do this, i can too..."<br />just wanted to let you know! :) Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12334166437272245900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-949924900738447332012-10-21T01:09:31.594-04:002012-10-21T01:09:31.594-04:00As someone who also suffers from anxiety, I know f...As someone who also suffers from anxiety, I know from experience that the hardest thing is feeling alone and like no one, not even those closest to us, can possibly understand what you are going through when the panic attacks and fears are at their worse. Thank you for finding the courage to post this so everyone with a similar story knows they are not alone in their struggles =)Omegalinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14772272805919967385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-71286309662198264482012-10-19T10:36:50.538-04:002012-10-19T10:36:50.538-04:00Because an attitude of utter and true acceptance i...<br /><br />Because an attitude of utter and true acceptance is the keystone to recovery when suffering from panic and anxiety, it is vitally important that a person understand acceptance, its exact meaning and how to practice doing it. Unlike learning a dance step or riding a bicycle which requires initiating action, this is more a matter of being still, immobile, and simply "floating" so to speak. The key is to not react to a stimulus. Accepting means allowing unpleasant thoughts, frightening thoughts and even terrifying sensations to come and not withdrawing from them. Allow them to come at any time without preparing for fight or flight,. A person's only response at the moment should be to relax to the best of one's ability, to loosen that tight hold on one's self, to feel one's body go loose all over and not shrinking from any feeling or thought. A person should never be bluffed by a feeling. The thought and feeling is present to be sure. But what a person perceives as a threat is not real and can render no harm. Remember, THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS. Acceptance is an ally, resistance is a foe. Withdrawal is a jailer. Do not be imprisoned!<br /><br />A person should not expect to master the technique of acceptance at first. Fear and withdrawal may be an established habit over a long period of time. But as one practices on a repetitive basis, the point will be reached where the thoughts and feelings no longer matter. Then, freed from tension and anxiety, a person's adrenalin releasing nerves will gradually calm down and fear will automatically decrease and finally cease. Oh, what a wonderful revelation! What a sense of peace. Let the feelings and thoughts come. Accept them with a quiet, relaxed courage. Watch how harmless they really are. A person should give themselves as much time as necessary. There is nothing threatening. Give one's self a break. Be kind to one's self. The human body wants to cooperate. This is a method can be trusted with blind obedience. Acceptance really works. With practice, a person will find that acceptance becomes an automatic habit that occurs without conscious thought. Acceptance neutralizes fear every time. Allow one's self to heal with the best available antidote that will never leave: ACCEPTANCE. In acceptance, a person will find the key to recovery from panic and anxiety for the rest of their life.<br /><br />For five years, I experienced the debilitating symptoms of fear, anxiety, and depression. Often these symptoms are diagnosed by physicians as panic attack disorder or anxiety disorder. In a constant state of anxiety and panic, I searched desperately for a way out of my forest of despair. Following what seemed to be an almost insurmountable degree of frustration and disappointment, I found the way to permanent recovery from my severe anxiety symptoms. Visit our website http://www.frompanictopeace.com for more on finding permanent relief from anxiety and panic.<br /><br />Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7239059<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-88398450311831252572012-10-16T16:34:42.959-04:002012-10-16T16:34:42.959-04:00I have GAD, so I relate to all of those feelings, ...I have GAD, so I relate to all of those feelings, especially the frustration when people look at you with incredulity when you can't just rationalize the panic away. <br /><br />That being said, why in the heck would you choose a WEEPING ANGEL to be the poster child for your inspirational quote?! AHHH! (=SugarMandolinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-58900071620028231822012-10-16T00:42:40.810-04:002012-10-16T00:42:40.810-04:00Have you considered asking your doctor about beta ...Have you considered asking your doctor about beta blockers? I got them to manage my stage fright back when I was performing often, and they can really help! They work by blocking the effects of adrenaline on your body, so you can more easily face situations that are likely to trigger an attack. Rosesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-75657561145920534922012-10-14T21:53:38.300-04:002012-10-14T21:53:38.300-04:00I really really hope that this battle you are figh...I really really hope that this battle you are fighting gradually becomes easier and that you win back pieces of your life for good. Anxiety has been a center piece of my life since I was little. I think I have avoided the worst of the attacks because it was such a normality for me that I just started out scared of everything, rather than having things taken away from me. I still have attacks occasionally where I feel so powerless that I cannot speak. This happens a lot less often now and there are significantly fewer things that I am scared of (though still a lot). I really believe that this is something that will improve with time. I'm so sorry that you had so much of your life taken away from you this way. GoodluckKellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13430786099778170383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-27617994941474919382012-10-13T22:49:55.809-04:002012-10-13T22:49:55.809-04:00As you've learned, anxiety is a brain malfunct...As you've learned, anxiety is a brain malfunction, not a character trait or habit. It's very common in ADDer's. I had panic attacks during my 20's, then they just went away. My son started having them in elementary school. Medicine has been a life-saver for him. <br />If Xanax isn't working the way you want it to, there are plenty of other meds. Keep trying them until you find one that works! Supplements might help, too. We go to an ND, who prescribes my son's med, but also set him up on amino acids and minerals that kind of "finish the job" the meds start.<br /><br />Best wishes for you and the incredible husband who stands by you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-31158417324757083462012-10-13T09:02:01.717-04:002012-10-13T09:02:01.717-04:00Panic and anxiety disorders strike me as a lot lik...Panic and anxiety disorders strike me as a lot like phobias, and indeed, you seem to have suggested you have a phobia that triggers your panic attacks. Maybe a phobia is a type of anxiety disorder? I don't know enough about them to say. But they sound very similar. They are not on the same par as a person who is just scared, even terrified, of something. They trigger something irrational inside you. I don't have a phobia or anxiety disorder. But one of my best friends in highschool had a phobia, of grasshoppers. She couldn't look at a photo of one in our grade 9 science textbook without nearly ending up in tears. In grade 11 on school camp there was one in the same room as her (a room big enough to hold a hundred people) and she started hyperventilating and it took every ounce of willpower she had not to run from the room. It's not something you can use logic or reason on. I get the impression anxiety conditions are the same. When something leaves a psychological scar on someone - whether it's an event you can clearly pinpoint (like in the case of my friend), or whether you have no idea what caused it, like perhaps in your situation - it can trigger things you can't reason through. I hope more people understand this. I don't want it to be an excuse for anxiety-sufferers to not even bother trying - because as you've so inspirationally explained, there've been times you've pushed yourself to do something and been successful - but when they reach the point where they go "no, I really can't do this", then I hope more people come to understand why. Leahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17403983176561111203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-9585512951807186562012-10-13T01:08:48.137-04:002012-10-13T01:08:48.137-04:00Love this. You write so openly and honestly. I tot...Love this. You write so openly and honestly. I totally understand how you feel. I suffer from anxiety and mild depression. I've had two really scary panic attacks in my life, and trying to explain to someone who's never had one how they feel is just... frustrating. Somehow I got myself in such a place for several years that I was afraid to do anything by myself. I'd panic if I had to drive anywhere, even down the street to McDonald's; and forget the drive-through, that wasn't happening. I panicked over bad weather, even though I hardly ever drove in it. Needless to say this wore on my now-ex-boyfriend, who has the patience of a friggin' saint. But when he had to drive me everywhere because I was afraid to or go with me everywhere because I was afraid to go alone, it became too much for him. I didn't even want to socialize with friends or family if it meant leaving our house. I was really a mess. After I had a very bad breakdown that hospitalized me and among other reasons, once I was financially able to, I moved into my own place and we broke up. It has honestly been both the absolute scariest and best thing for me. I was finally able to see what a mess I was and make changes for the better. I don't worry about driving anymore because I have no choice, although heavy traffic and nasty weather tend to still freak me out but I'm able to tell myself to breathe, go slow and it'll be ok. I'm actually not afraid to socialize anymore, albeit in small doses because large crowds and lots of noises still make me pretty anxious (something that's always happened and likely always will) - I find myself actually seeking out things to do. I have a pretty good going out/staying in balance right now. But if you compared the me now to the me I was two or three years ago, you'd be amazed. I feel like a completely different (in a good way) person. I don't think my depression and anxiety make me weak, in fact I think they make you and me and others like us so much stronger. We're wired differently and have to learn to handle things differently than most people. I think it also gives us the clarity to know what our limits are, and when to push them and when to not. And I'm sure the majority of us if we had a choice would choose not to have to deal with anxiety and depression daily, but we do; we get through our lives with it, despite it, and I think that makes us very strong indeed.<br /><br />LizLizikinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18043673212240874128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-82795134905012994822012-10-12T11:08:13.022-04:002012-10-12T11:08:13.022-04:00My friend shared this post with me as she is aware...My friend shared this post with me as she is aware of my panic disorder and agorophobia. I absolutely loved it and laughed heartily at some of your comments. I accept the fact that this is who I am, although I have accessed CBT therapy and have returned for a refresher when I have huge relapses. I shared your post on my own blog regarding Panic and immediately received advice for programs out there. I am an odd duck, but I float just fine!! You are a lovely duck, paddling like crazy beneath the water but smooth and calm to all of us looking at you!!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153278150125054927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-44744491138384479872012-10-11T05:42:53.123-04:002012-10-11T05:42:53.123-04:00I don't have anxiety but I do have depression ...I don't have anxiety but I do have depression and fibromyalgia. Fibro is horrible because I am in physical pain ALL THE TIME. I've been in constant pain for the last 14 years and because of that I am able to ignore it to the point where I seem to be functioning like a normal person. In reality I am one spasm away from being a wreck. <br /><br />My right arm hand is numb quite often as is one or more of my feet and I suffer tension headaches everyday. Ironically I used to weigh 130 kgs and was told to lose weight to help the condition. I lost 65 kgs and the condition got worse. 30 kgs has slowly crept back on simply because physical activity is exhausting and painful. Something as simple as a casual walk causes each and every muscle to ache and also exhausts me. I haven't slept a full 8 hours in 5 years. If i average 2 hours of solid sleep a night for a week then i've done well. I'm constantly exhausted, in pain and people wonder why all i want to do is hop into bed and read or watch a movie on my laptop. i've slowly become more and more reclusive because everything tires me. it's even harder when i have a flare up and people at work say 'but you don't look sick'. <br /><br />since developing this condition i've become very careful now to not judge someone else for their 'invisible illness'. it sucks but it's nice knowing we're not alone.<br /><br />thanks for sharing your struggle Jen. you are the top level of awesome on the epic scale.MissRonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15037268961320809313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-40761036776765117792012-10-10T15:06:09.256-04:002012-10-10T15:06:09.256-04:00Thank you, I'm so glad you posted this! I hate...Thank you, I'm so glad you posted this! I hate the stigma attached to anxiety, like it's not a real thing, that we just overreact to stupid stuff that everyone else has the balls to deal with. I'd like to thing that I'm braver because of it- I have to work to do things other people take for granted, and I'm still a much more positive person than a lot of people. So don't tell me I'm just a coward and to get over it.<br />Mine started out of nowhere too, just showed in highschool with no warning. The first oh my god, I'm going to die panic attack I can remember having was sitting in the movie theater at the midnight premiere of the very last Harry Potter, silly as it sounds. It kinda freaked me that this thing that had always been a part of my life, my escape from anxiety, was ending all of the sudden. <br />I think I just have issues with loss of control or being trapped, and it's so hard to explain to people. Not to mention the fact that mine is hormone related so I'll be completely fine one week and an utter mess the next. But I take daily medicines, and am weaning myself off of Xanax. <br />And it's getting better. Slowly, maybe, but it's moving forward and I know that my someday isn't too far off.Ashley Knoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-50106785749500822072012-10-09T21:48:18.123-04:002012-10-09T21:48:18.123-04:00I totally know what you mean about not "just ...I totally know what you mean about not "just doing it." I have a very physical response when I am scared, and I HATE being scared. <br /><br />My husband is always trying to get me to go on roller coasters. He says that if I just try it, I'll realize that I like them. I know that I won't. Even if I survive, which I suspect I would, I would not be less scared the next time. Same thing with scary movies.Mrs. Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16320432718436523149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-61607651367927807372012-10-09T19:33:30.405-04:002012-10-09T19:33:30.405-04:00Thank you for posting this! I've never had any...Thank you for posting this! I've never had anybody be able to capture my anxiety attacks in writing, and this describes it so successfully. Thank you for sharing and keep writing!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-79849641401813421312012-10-09T19:01:56.569-04:002012-10-09T19:01:56.569-04:00Thank you. I can't come up with anything more...Thank you. I can't come up with anything more elegant, but thank you. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-69024590135208499212012-10-09T17:17:50.698-04:002012-10-09T17:17:50.698-04:00So I know that I am very late in leaving this comm...So I know that I am very late in leaving this comment. <br /><br />However I want to say thank you for sharing. It is very encouraging to read not only your story, but also many of the comment. It makes me fell less alone and happy to know that most people figure out how to go on...<br /><br />I suffer from some sort of social anxiety, however it has been there from when I was a kid, so it's something that I am somewhat used to. That doesn't mean that I am happy about it. All through my childhood people (including the therapist I went to) told me that it would get much better when I grew up. Well it didn't. <br /><br />Now I have to face, that social relations will probably always be something that I will struggle with. I do have some anxiety issues, but for me, the main problem is that I do not believe that anyone really likes me, or want to spend time with me. So I push people away - make it true.<br /><br />For me I think the thing that I think about the most is choosing your battles. Sometimes you have to push and sometimes you take the "easy" way out (for me that would be not going - sending an email instead of calling and so on)<br /><br />So thanks for sharing.Kiranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-54718089676256325402012-10-09T12:30:47.749-04:002012-10-09T12:30:47.749-04:00Just do what you can. No more.
I have just run o...Just do what you can. No more. <br /><br />I have just run of the mill claustrophobia (which I discovered when I got stuck in an elevator with 15 other people - good times), and the stalled tram and ride would've freaked me out too. And the It's a Small World Ride is the cutest circle of hell - there are loads of reasons for skipping it.Jen Andersonhttp://www.fashionablylatetotheparty.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-6118466833067089722012-10-09T00:04:50.547-04:002012-10-09T00:04:50.547-04:00Jen, you are amazing! Thanks for posting this. SO ...Jen, you are amazing! Thanks for posting this. SO brave of you! Good job!!!!! :)The Harper Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07298885558292598693noreply@blogger.com