tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post2252119250080738497..comments2024-03-14T03:43:02.583-04:00Comments on EPBOT: Mailbag: How Do I Manage Crowd Anxiety At A Con?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11888187687405622408noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-6443738384153953282016-01-28T11:58:49.456-05:002016-01-28T11:58:49.456-05:00This is probably the most useful advice I've r...This is probably the most useful advice I've read so far, being a fellow Aspie. (Aspies unite! :P) I'm thinking of going to the Sherlock convention in London, and thought I should get some advice before I bring it up with my mum. Thanks a lot! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-32360396838248003182016-01-28T11:53:13.086-05:002016-01-28T11:53:13.086-05:00Thanks! This was actually quite helpful! (Not that...Thanks! This was actually quite helpful! (Not that I expected it not to be!) You actually sound like me!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-55853763519492339422013-08-09T20:27:15.279-04:002013-08-09T20:27:15.279-04:00Thank you for the tips. We will be attending our 1...Thank you for the tips. We will be attending our 1st con in November and these will help a lot. Feliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13403802699380839879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-11507122877700152042013-07-19T13:37:26.944-04:002013-07-19T13:37:26.944-04:00I'm programming director for a small con in Na...I'm programming director for a small con in Nashville, TN called Hypericon. So I'm seconding (or more) what a lot of people here have said. We get less than 300 people most years, so it feels like a party with friends. None of the rooms are packed full, there are plenty of semi-quiet spaces, and if you go more than once, you learn everyone by name. So instead of it feeling like a con, it feels like a really organized party for a bunch of your friends. I did panels this year where I could name every audience member by name. <br /><br />Look around online and you can find a list of cons in your area. Don't be afraid to email the con and ask how many people they get. Stay away from big cons. Dragon or GMX or any of the Comicons are just way too big for people who don't like crowds. Ink Monkey Magazinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08263294396574590178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-54197686661323083972013-07-02T12:46:53.137-04:002013-07-02T12:46:53.137-04:00Heh, I'm only 4'10" tall, platforms w...Heh, I'm only 4'10" tall, platforms wouldn't help me at all ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-15663319277068745702013-07-02T12:45:28.683-04:002013-07-02T12:45:28.683-04:00If you can stay in the con hotel, do so. A private...If you can stay in the con hotel, do so. A private space to escape to without leaving the venue is invaluable. I like to take on a task or role for the event so that I can put that purpose between me and the crowd. I am a Dealer (this one is great, I get to meet people but there's a table between us as a shield), or a Gopher (running around, too busy to panic & forced to actually talk to people I don't know), or whatever. <br /><br />A partner to buffer you & to say "you're getting a little stressed, do you need down time?" & to remind you that it is OK to take time out. <br /><br />A map & timetable with the locations and times of all the events that are a MUST Attend for you. I like to also mark of "nap time" on mine - in addition to the agoraphobia I have fibromyalgia so downtime/naptime is essential to keep me going.<br /><br />If you're a newbie to cons, then start with smaller events. I am biased because I am on the concom now for the Discworld Convention in the UK, but they are really great (there are sister conventions in the US, Australia, Ireland and other places in Europe (I can't remember all of them off-hand). relaxed, friendly, less than 1000 people.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-55230042643662708562013-06-24T10:31:45.211-04:002013-06-24T10:31:45.211-04:00That is an annoying phenomenon, and we hate it whe...That is an annoying phenomenon, and we hate it when we encounter it. The worst I've ever seen in that category was at St Paddy's parade when parents lost their minds and started sending their kids INTO the parade to try to get pictures with moving cosplayers. Crazy!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-73340069460135011612013-06-22T05:26:22.420-04:002013-06-22T05:26:22.420-04:00I am beyond shocked and dismayed to hear that anyo...I am beyond shocked and dismayed to hear that anyone at any con has been treated or spoken to that way. In the future, should it happen again, make a note of the person's name and department, and then narc their rat ass OUT. If said jerk is the head of their department, report them to Con Management. This is utterly inexcusable. Where was the head of disabled services, and how were they not alerted that the policies were not being followed??<br /><br />(The preceding was from my late friend Robert Goodwin, who started the SDCC Disabled Services Dept. in '87, as channeled by me, his loyal assistant of over 10 years. Seriously, I hear this pissed off, slightly lisping Smaller Person in my head, mad as a wet Targ! "If any of MY thaff acted like THAT, I'd demand their Agonizer!")<br /><br />Cheers, and I hope whoever said "Hurry up!" falls on their ass real soon, and HARD,<br /><br />StormStorm the Klingonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-56024451188183170412013-06-22T05:14:40.939-04:002013-06-22T05:14:40.939-04:00With all due respect, could you please mention to ...With all due respect, could you please mention to your cosplaying husband that it's people like him stopping the crowd every few feet for picture-taking that makes the dealer's room of almost any convention unbearable for crowd-hating folks? Again, no disrespect intended, but it drives me MAD. As a longtime costumer, I get the kick of having my picture taken (Being a Klingon is the only time anyone I don't know well ever wants my photo), but I *always* politely say "Sure, I'll pose for a picture, *if we can find someplace out of the way to do it*". I don't want to make an entire aisle of people pause and wait for me to get just the right pose for the guy that can't seem to operate his camera under pressure.<br /><br />Two things that keep me from going into any dealer's room (and contributed to my retiring from Comic Con after 25 years); the aisles are always ALWAYS blocked up with people posing for pictures in the worst possible spots, and dorks with HUGE strollers. If your baby is small enough to need a stroller, IT IS TOO SMALL FOR CON!<br /><br />Cheers, thanks a lot,<br /><br />StormStorm the Klingonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-6071354569406804832013-06-22T05:04:05.936-04:002013-06-22T05:04:05.936-04:00Awesome. Like RuPaul says, "What other people...Awesome. Like RuPaul says, "What other people think about me is NONE of my business"!<br /><br />Kids, I've made friends and lovers (YES! You CAN get laid at a Con! Bring condoms! ;) for life at Cons. People who I consider family, people who are better to me than my "real" family, people who are/were also a li'l weird and nervous, but still managed to make it to a con and talk to a weird, loud, redhead with funny teeth. This was in my teens, I'm in my 40's now, and we're still friends, dozens of us.<br /><br />And yeah, line-chatting is a fanTAStic ice-breaker and friend-maker! You're all there for the same reason, you're all stuck there a while, and you all have at least ONE thing to talk about. But yeah, let people finish sentences and don't turn every story around to YOU; engage in the convo, don't monopolize.<br /><br />Really. I can practically promise you guys; you're gonna have fun and make at least ONE new friend. And if the one turns out to be a Friend For Life, than I say "Quality not quantity", and Bowie bless you.<br /><br />Cheers,<br /><br />StormStorm the Klingonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-71149816751881427362013-06-22T04:45:18.789-04:002013-06-22T04:45:18.789-04:00No, you've got it just right, sweetie; one of ...No, you've got it just right, sweetie; one of the common reactions of a person starting to panic is to literally forget to breathe, which gets the pulse racing even faster and makes you feel even more out of control. Deep, cleansing breaths, in through the nose out through the mouth, are often all it takes to get the person to at least think rationally enough to get themselves through whatever is freaking them out. Well done! :)<br /><br />Cheers,<br /><br />StormStorm the Klingonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-82673958191542786252013-06-22T04:40:16.399-04:002013-06-22T04:40:16.399-04:00As the kids say, "^THIS!^" Either Con Re...As the kids say, "^THIS!^" Either Con Registration or Disabled Services should have maps ready and available. If not, go to the Information Booth/Area for the venue itself, and they should have them handy, as well as guides and recommendations for nearby places to eat.<br /><br />Cheers,<br /><br />StormStorm the Klingonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-65828485543860485492013-06-22T04:36:49.798-04:002013-06-22T04:36:49.798-04:00Sweet Mother of Bowie, THIS is why I try not to go...Sweet Mother of Bowie, THIS is why I try not to go for a week without modeming/surfing/computating or whateverthehell you youngsters call it now; I miss the Big Discussions!<br /><br />Girl. GIRL. TRUST me on this; you have panic-related agoraphobia, and you have had such for some time now. I have it, too, I've been diagnosed, and you and I are total crazy-sisters. <br /><br />Yeah, sometimes uneducated folks say things like "You have agoraphobia? I thought that meant you can't leave the house?" Just educate them on the fact that "never leaving the house" is *extreme agoraphobia*, a diagnosis/illness in itself, whereas you/we have panic/anxiety with *attendant agoraphobia*, which means our attacks/fears are so bad that they keep us from dealing with people/places, especially those we are not extremely familiar with (and sometimes even then). When I first started seeing her, I asked my old doctor "I can't seem to get it together to go anywhere without freaking out, especially if I have to be alone. I CAN NOT be alone in public-- what is up with THAT?!" And she reminded me that my first major freak-out (I thought I was having a simultaneous heart attack and nervous breakdown) was in public, and all alone with no one to help me, so now my weird brain has piled that way on the tip-top of Things I Can NOT Deal With, So Don't Ask Me Or I Will Hurt You.<br /><br />Lawrence has it right, and I back him up as both a fellow zany person and as a longtime con volunteer for Disabled Services; they are there to provide you with maps of the center and environs, all the exits and stairs are marked, and they may even have a quiet, screened off space for you to chill. Technically, this space is for breastfeeding moms, but more than one person has come up to me in the past and asked "Can I just go back there and lie down on the floor for like 5 minutes? I'm freaking OUT from the crowds and noise!" Listen, Disabled Services doesn't want a guest freaking out any more than Security wants to deal with said freak-out, and like it or not, this zaniness we live with *is* a disability. Not in the same way as a person in a wheelchair, or with vision or hearing problems, or battling cancer or something, but it's still valid. Having your brain lie to you many times in many ways (including telling you that you don't need or deserve help like other people do) is a VALID DISABILITY, and no one has the right to put stigma on you/us if you need help; just because a person's disability is not readily apparent does not mean they don't need or deserve help. Mental illness and disability are becoming better understood, and as I have mentioned here many times, many MANY people involved in cons are a li'l bit weird themselves, and can relate. TELL YOUR CON REGISTRATION STAFF (if there's no Disabled Services) that you have some needs including that your Con Buddy/Helper is with you at all times; they will do what they can to allay your fears and hook you up. And if by some strange chance you get the snotty teenaged hipster that can't be arsed to help, go over his back-combed head to his boss, and narc his ass out; CON STAFF ARE THERE TO HELP YOU ENJOY THE CON. Make us earn our free badges! Give us something to do besides people watching and playing "Oh, No, You Did NOT Wear THAT To Con!"<br /><br />Shine on, you crazy diamond,<br /><br />Storm<br /><br />Storm the Klingonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-41984315365953473632013-06-21T17:57:47.681-04:002013-06-21T17:57:47.681-04:00Great advice! I have "crowd" anxiety, an...Great advice! I have "crowd" anxiety, and these are all tricks that I use. Thank you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-32727778100125825622013-06-19T15:29:02.160-04:002013-06-19T15:29:02.160-04:00The biggest thing for me was telling myself (and h...The biggest thing for me was telling myself (and having a friend remind me throughout) that being awkward, making mistakes, being stupid, etc are ok.<br /><br />The first time I got a disabled badge for PAX I asked the wrong person, started to panic and headed the wrong way, thankfully the enforcer stopped me and pointed out 'right there', otherwise I would have gone without, and likely would not be going anymore. The enforcer probably did not remember the crazy girl on a cane that panicked because she asked the wrong person, and I mostly just remember because looking back that moment is hilarious (I was 3 feet off, that is not worthy of panic), and as a reminder that mistakes and my awkwardness is not a bad thing, it is just a thing that needs to be worked through.Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06992681509609412342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-43170531115705045402013-06-19T10:49:43.920-04:002013-06-19T10:49:43.920-04:00Knowing I can stop and/or leave at anytime is the ...Knowing I can stop and/or leave at anytime is the single thing that keeps me going the most. Even driving on the freeway...if I tell myself I can get off at any exit, I'm able to make it all the way. If I tell myself I have to make it all the way, I'm a frantic mess. Always have an out! I just think, I don't HAVE to do this, and I'm better able to get it done.Betty Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02185785966008220637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-35604642288593805372013-06-18T20:24:00.362-04:002013-06-18T20:24:00.362-04:00Debra - as a rookie staffer at PHXCC this year, le...Debra - as a rookie staffer at PHXCC this year, let me apologize for any staff member being so incredibly insensitive... I will certainly share the anecdote when this year's volunteer meetings begin.<br /><br />The elevator fiasco is another frustration. Sadly, that was the convention center and security force rather than any PHXCC staff, but again, I will definitely share that facts of the incident.Annettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00894513996852045761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-87795880609519041502013-06-18T18:13:40.040-04:002013-06-18T18:13:40.040-04:00This might sound silly but...get yourself a pair o...This might sound silly but...get yourself a pair of plataform shoes. They don't have to be heels, you can get platform sneakers if you want. Something comfortable with a platform. But this way you can hang back away from the crowd and still see the show. You can always find a spot in the fringes, the only problem is visibility is usually no that good. That's where a little extra height comes in handy. I don't have a fear of crowds/tight spaces, but I have damage on my wrists and left elbow so I get really worried in crowds that I will get bumped and hurt. (even a slight bump can hurt A LOT. Like "feel like throwing up from the pain" lot.) I found that people tend to crowd right at the center stage at shows and often leave big open spaces on the side. I say an obstructed view in peace is better that being right in the middle of it having a bad time. Aralishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05448478672229765850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-9800040780461526392013-06-18T17:49:43.624-04:002013-06-18T17:49:43.624-04:00I have a few strategies that help me: 1. set up a ...I have a few strategies that help me: 1. set up a "soothing playlist" on my ipod - whatever music calms me down. It doesn't have to be quiet music - just something that helps me feel better. I often need that to help me when my anxiety is kicking in. 2. deep breathing exercises & relaxation techniques. I practice these at home daily, even when I'm not having panic, so that they feel normal when I need to use them in public. Getting my breathing under control always helps me when I'm having a panic attack. 3. Sit on the end of a row at the back of the room (or stand, like Jen mentioned). I've gotten better and can now sit in the middle of the row in many situations, but in a big crowd and a new situation, I really need to be on the end. 4. As others have said, having a safe person and a safe place to retreat to makes a world of difference. I also like to bring a good book with me, so I can go find a corner somewhere, put on my calming playlist, read my book, have a little snack, and regroup.<br />To be honest, my favorite "safe place" of all is to hide under a table that is covered with a long tablecloth! I know it sounds crazy, but I love to feel hidden away and in my own little fort. As a 40-something it's not so socially acceptable, however, and just comes off as weird and awkward. My 5 yr old is adorable when he hides under a table. Me, not so much. :) But if I could have my own personal "fort" to hide in whenever I'm feeling anxious, I'd be pretty happy!Bethanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14794846683551309991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-30099596818365210032013-06-18T16:35:06.319-04:002013-06-18T16:35:06.319-04:00In big cons I'm always afraid I'm going to...In big cons I'm always afraid I'm going to get separated from my hubby. So one of the biggest saviors for me is to have charged cell phones. We rarely get separated, but just in case I know I can reach him. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-45111433060112423002013-06-18T15:45:58.738-04:002013-06-18T15:45:58.738-04:00Cons are not always good at accommodating the hand...Cons are not always good at accommodating the handicapped...our recent trip to Phoenix Comicon resulted in many incidents where my boyfriend, who uses a cane, was yelled at to "hurry up" by random con staff, forced to stand in long lines even though his "mobility badge" was supposed to allow me to stand in line for both of us, and we were also blocked from using the elevator on a number of occasions because we didn't have a stroller. Um, okay, let me just take "Cane Man" down your four flights of rickety elevators, then (I'm not joking about rickety, the things actually broke down several times during Con). I hate to be Debbie Downer, but I'm worried about people with special needs getting the impression that they will be surrounded by people willing to help them out and accommodate them...that is not always the case. I think your best bet is to have companions who know your struggles and have a plan to assist you as necessary. <br /><br />I second the "find a quiet place to hang" suggestion...at Phoenix Comicon, there were some tables right outside of the main ballroom that were NEVER occupied, for some mysterious reason, so when we needed to rest or duck out of the crowd for a time, we'd head there to snack and plan our next event.<br /><br />Also, don't pressure yourself into doing or seeing everything. You don't have to stay all day. You don't lose your "Comicon Champ" badge if you miss the first big presentation of the day, or if you don't stay until 11:00 p.m. for the Geek Prom or the showing of the newest indie zombie movie. You don't get a special prize for ending the weekend with blistered feet and a frazzled brain. Look over the schedule, plan your attack, pick a few things to attend every day. If you end up in a panel that's a stinker, duck out and wander the exhibitor halls for awhile. Sit somewhere out of the main traffic flow and check out the costumes. Con's not supposed to be a race from one packed event to the next. Take your time, be gentle with yourself, and have fun!<br /><br /><br /><br />Debranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-15811192487946305502013-06-18T13:18:03.274-04:002013-06-18T13:18:03.274-04:00I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has a...I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has a hard time just running basic errands. (Though of course it's terrible for you.) It's really difficult explaining that getting your car's oil changed or going to the post office is terrifying--I'll do almost anything to put those tasks off. And I totally agree with the cosplay. I rock Halloween like nobody's business. And I've started "cosplaying" as a more capable, confident person when I need to run errands as well. Sometimes a smart outfit and red lipstick, and a bit of pretending that I'm someone else, helps me feel braver, even when I have to do something alone.Dana the Bipedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08620827608073208107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-31356390135348003562013-06-18T12:12:26.009-04:002013-06-18T12:12:26.009-04:00My daughter has Asperger's, and we handle cons...My daughter has Asperger's, and we handle cons by making sure there's downtime/places away scheduled when the overstimulation hits (or to prevent the overstim in the first place). I know Meta is one of the larger cons in the Twin Cities, so if you want to try out something smaller go to Anime Fusion. I know Steam Powered Giraffe isn't on the guest list, but it's a great place to get your feet wet. <br /><br />We'll be attending Meta for the first time this year as well, so if you'd like to do a meet-up, give me a shout out.Nagzillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17759428185831351862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-12961756221357309532013-06-18T12:10:56.969-04:002013-06-18T12:10:56.969-04:00These are some fantastic suggestions. I could tota...These are some fantastic suggestions. I could totally use these in other areas of my life when I get dragged/willingly if stupidly attend something that could up my social anxiety. Wish I'd thought to bring earplugs to the bar to watch the hockey playoff the other night! Maybe I'd still have my hearing, haha.Dog Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07412689558186924274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1724594058209899258.post-91454553321535131752013-06-18T10:41:21.829-04:002013-06-18T10:41:21.829-04:00This is all really good advice and I'm probabl...This is all really good advice and I'm probably going to end up making use of a goodly chunk of it the next time I try a convention--but at #2 I have to admit I got derailed by Fezzik. "Everybody, MOVE."Shae R.noreply@blogger.com