Friday, July 7, 2017

Deep Impacts (But Not In A Dirty Way)

Minor Editorial Note: I wrote this a few weeks ago. So, you know, just so you know:


:D

***

Our washer broke this week. It just up and stopped draining mid-cycle, so we had a tub full of water inside and a week's worth of laundry waiting in the wings.

Before I could have my first nightmare about buying a new machine, though, John had gone online, diagnosed the problem, and ordered the $7 part with 2-day rush shipping. Yesterday he removed three screws, installed the doo-dad thingamajig, and bam. We're back in the laundry business.

This is just the latest in hundreds of home repairs John has done - for us and others - over the years, but it still amazes me. Even when it's something anyone could do, like removing three screws and plugging in a thingamajig, it always seems like magic. Most of us aren't wired to think we're very handy, or we're scared we'll make it worse somehow, but John? He charges in.

John's always been the doer, while I'm more of the "big picture" dreamer/lazy type. I'm also insanely pessimistic, so while I think it'd be cool to build, say, a rocket ship, I'm also convinced it'll just crash and burn and kill us all anyway, so why bother?

Me halfway through literally everything.

Believe it or not, I face that "THIS WILL ALL END IN RUIN" wall every. single. project. Every craft, every home renovation, every cosplay.

John breaks through my inertia, though. He balances out my negativity with his exhaustive optimism and energy, and is often midway through a build before I'm done listing out all the reasons it will fail.

Yesterday, after John fixed the washer, re-lacquered the coffee table, washed the floors, and mowed four yards in the 90 degree heat, he looked at me and told me he worried he wasn't doing anything of impact. That fixing things and maintaining things felt less than what I do, here on Epbot.

Just for reference, John works with me online and does All The Things here in the real world, while *I* haven't left the house in 10 days. I made a sudden change to my hormone meds on top of some stomach bug, so I've been physically hurting and tired and angry and sad and then angry again for nearly two weeks now. A lot of those days I watched TV or played a video game to stop myself from crying over what a useless lump I'd become. In short, I feel anything but impactful. I feel like a lazy cop-out who's missing out on her true potential, putting a burden on her husband, and neglecting her friends.

So as I listened to John say these things, I realized how impossible it is to think we're ever doing well in life. How easy it is to assume no one notices or benefits from our existence, when I know and can promise you they do. Because if John thinks I'm doing more, and I know he's doing more, then where does that leave us?

I think it leaves us here: together, leaning on each other, pushing, sometimes dragging each other along. Whether it's a single partnership or a community of friends and family, we - the big, collective "we" - fill in each other's gaps. We balance out our weaknesses and magnify our strengths.



Maybe you stink at keeping in touch with your friends, but you're an amazing listener when you DO see them. Maybe you plan all the get-togethers and remind the introverts that leaving the house can be fun. Or maybe you just hide at home and tell strangers on the internet that you like them, and that it's going to be OK.

That's OK.

I'm a little low right now, but John's got me. Next week I may be high on life again, full of ideas and projects and things to say - and when that happens, it will be thanks to his impact. John's example and his care come out in everything I say and do, and I know you guys can see it. Everyone sees it. John helps me be the best me.



Maybe you're a little low right now, but you don't have a John. In that case, we've got you. Your friends, your family, this quirky band of internet geeks you've never met - even this lazy lump of a blogger who isn't sure she'll ever post this - we've all got you. It's OK to be down here a while, where just breathing is a victory. It's OK to feel it. But you do have an impact, even now. Maybe it's not loud or flashy or in the spotlight right this second, but it's there, holding others up, making others smile, paving the way to the better "us" we all want to be part of. You don't hear this enough, so let me say it: thank you. For the things you do, the things you say and care about. Thanks for still being here.


John, sweetie, I didn't let you proof-read this because I wanted you to see me shouting it from my virtual roof top: every good and lasting thing I've ever done, or ever will do, is because of you. You're my shelter, my co-conspirator, my rocket fuel. But beyond that - beyond just me, beyond our family and circle of friends - you have this stunning legacy and impact here online. See, I'm not just "Jen" anymore.  I'm the Jen of "Jen and John." Do you know how proud that makes me? I see how you give people hope in their relationships, how you inspire them to do more and create more, how complete strangers use you as a goal post for the kind of person they want to be, and I think, "I get to be a part of that." Heck, I even get to take credit for some of it. (AWW YEEAH.)

You and me, babe. We're gonna change the world -  at least a little - for the better - together.

And hey, the rest of you?

Ditto.

Though I probably won't call you "babe."


But no promises.

61 comments:

  1. Thanks, I really needed this today.

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  2. Seconded. I have been having a really rough couple of months, and a really bad brain week, so this was perfect to see. Thank you so much.

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  3. Thank you, darling Jen. I needed to hear this reminder today! That we are all out there, doing our best, living the best life we can.

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  4. welp i'm all teary eyed now thanks T~T

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  5. Thank you. I needed to hear this today. And thank you for being the kind of person who lifts people up, even in your dark days. Thank you.

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  6. Onions! There are onions in here! Oh, and I love you. And him. That is all.

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  7. Every lawn mowed, and blog post written makes an impact on someone. I don't know you IRL, but I love you both. You've blessed me with insight and instruction, both equally important in different ways. Keep being you, you're both pretty dang awesome.

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  8. I'm totally in girl-crush love right now with you. Thank you.

    Jen, you *have* made a huge impact on the world and in the lives of my two geeky daughters. They adore you and think you're probably the coolest thing ever. When my 16-year-old daughtbot was recovering from surgery in May and totally tripped on pain meds, she rambled at length about about how she wanted to be Miss Jen when she grew up, being an encouragement to girls all over the world.

    Please, do not doubt yourself. "Jen and John" are truly a Force in this world. And I am very grateful for you!

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    1. Wow, mom! You could've told me you had posted a comment here already. I just posted something saying practically the same stuff! Although I would add that I don't need to be trippy on pain meds to ramble about the awesomeness here, since I do that almost weekly. :3
      Pinkie Welborne, 16
      Indiana
      (Obviously the daughtbot!)

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  9. I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying! Ok, maybe we're both crying. No, really though, I needed to read this today. Thank you to you and John for both being so awesome.

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  10. Lovely post Jen, and reminded me how I don't tell my husband that I appreciate him and all he does as often as I should. I will rectify that now. Xx

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  11. Thank you Jen. I can't make the words come out of my fingers to tell you how much I needed this today, so I'll just say thank you with big virtual hugs. <3 You and John cheer me up on so many down days and my world would be a much sadder place without you.

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  12. Ok. You may not be a big Anime fan but we just watched an episode last night of one called Re:Zero and theres this scene where the main breaks down and talks about exactly how it feels to be this person who feels like they cannot make the impact they want. It was hands down the best scene in an anime Ive ever seen. My husband is that guy, he is also my hero. (THAT said...the anime may be too much for those who do not like violent ends.) I love that you two do so much and that we get to see snipets of your lives like this. Thank you both for being such amazing people.

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  13. I'm sorry, but when I read that John felt he wasn't doing anything impactful, I started laughing. I think about the wonderful, amazing, supportive Facebook communities that are a result of this beautiful and SAFE place on the interwebs, and it stuns me that either one of you would EVER think you aren't making a difference.

    Please know I was absolutely NOT laughing AT John or his feelings, not at all. I know our minds just LLLOOOOOVVVEEEE to diminish our accomplishments, but it was so crazy that here's all this evidence he HAS made a MASSIVE impact on many many lives, and even he has moments where he can't see it. That, and your lovely words, were a timely reminder that we DO all make a difference.

    Much love and gratitude to the both of you. :-)

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  14. *tears*
    You both have made such an impact on all of us. Because of you, a community was made and I am so glad to be part of it. Thank you so much!

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  15. Thank you for writing this. I needed to hear it today. You and John Rock!

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  16. This blog has great meaning for me. I am so glad that you share so much about yourself and your wonderful husband. It has helped me to keep on keeping on and encouraged me so many times. I'm glad you have John. He reminds me of my own spouse. He never flags in his cheerleading as I work on my own projects and second guess myself and wonder if I should continue on at all. Thanks Jen.

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  17. I NEVER post on blogs and social media because I have some kind of online introvert thing, but I lurk religiously. I've done so for so long, when I reference one of your posts or projects to my husband, I only say John and Jen and he knows exactly who I am talking about. You are a household name around here! Thanks for all you do.

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  18. So there's onions being cut around here... You two. Seriously. #lifegoals

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  19. It's really cool that despite some really big differences, you still speak to me and put stuff I feel so succinctly. When I spent a week fending off anxiety about (I wish this was a joke) the caldera volcano under Yellowstone, my guy is there, doing and being so strong and effective and unflappable. He's not handy. I am. You are kid free, I have five and a grandbaby but still, is really cool that you 'get' stuff I feel about myself and my sweetie. So thank you, Jen and John from Christy and Geoff.

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  20. John worries he isn't making an impact??? OH MY WORD. If someone as amazing as he is thinks that, what hope do us mere mortals have? John you are the greatest! The way you love and support and advocate for Jen is so inspiring. The things you're able to create are astonishing. You brought so many people joy as Dreamfinder and some of your other amazing cosplays. That story about you "selling" an old table on Craigslist and you refinished it and gave it away for free? You are a GEM, John. I'm positive there are people who will never, ever forget your kindnesses. I think very highly of you and I don't even really know you! I'm sure if I did my estimation of you would only go up (although it may never happen since this comment probably has you considering a restraining order, LOL.) Anyway - you're pretty awesome!

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  21. I'm feeling very Kate Monster these last few days (if you dont know to what I'm referring, look up the lyrics to "It Sucks To Be Me" from Avenue Q) and really, really, really needed this.

    I hope I can find my John one day. I feel every day that it's less and less likely, but I'm glad that you have found yours.

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  22. Thank you for sharing it's always so relaxing when I find out other people go through the same stuff as me. Also I HAVE to know: What is the gif of the winking chick in goggles from?

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    1. The new Ghostbusters movie...

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    2. Haven't seen it yet, that's why I didn't recognize it. It just moved a few slots up my must watch list. Thank You! :)

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  23. Thank you for this post. It's my 10 year anniversary and each day I realize just how much my husband is my rock, much in the same way that John is for you. Your post just reminded me of everything he is to me. By the way what you both do has an impact even though it might not always seem that way.

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  24. JOOOOOOOHHHHHHNNNN!!!! How in the world can you think for a moment that you don't have an impact??? You've touched so many lives, and, like, at least half of FoE has a crush on you. Jen may have started Epbot, but your footprint is just as big. Do you even know how inspirational you are to everyone??? I think of myself as a bit of a "John" in my marriage. I'm the optimist, the "why can't we do that? we totally can" person.

    But Jen, just so you know, I (the John) gain a lot from my hubs. He grounds my constant optimisms. He (my hubs) questions all my dreams and ideas so that I have to think critically about them, which in turns makes them even better because I've worked out all the kinks without actually having to go through the kinks. Realism, even slightly (or not slightly) negative, pessimistic realism is powerful and useful.

    Point is, you both have major impact on each other, and in turn, you are able to inspire and encourage and engage so many people that you don't even know. Dynamic Duo 101. Keep rockin' it.

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  25. Both of you make a huge positive impact on thousands of people every day!!! Never think that you don't make a difference in the world - either one of you! Just making people laugh at Cakewrecks is fantastic - but you both go beyond, impacting lives for the better with Epbot and FOE!

    But this post was about John by Jen... My daughter is a "Jen" - brilliant, talented, funny, kind, with great fashion sense, etc., but she also has the serious health problems, pain, anxiety, sleep troubles, mental health issues, problems finishing projects (she's dropped out of college 7 times - she's 30)... I wanted you to know - for years I've thought to myself: "I wish there was a "John - just like Jen's John" for my daughter!" (You are a rare & amazing person John Yates!!!) I don't know if there are any more gems like you out there (I seriously doubt it!) - but my daughter has a knack of picking boyfriends that are your polar opposite and they make her feel worse about everything...

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  26. Thank you Jen. I really needed to read that, and it came at the perfect moment.

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  27. I needed this post today. I even sent a bit off to my dad. We're both on the bottom right now, and I know I'm definitely depending on people to make me do things (Going out is fun? I should socialize?) Thanks for reminding me I make an impact.

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  28. John,

    I know that without you, neither Epbot nor Cake Wrecks would exist (and thrive!).

    I know this because I have been involved in theater productions. When you go to see a play, what you see on stage is actually the work of dozens (or hundreds) more people than "just" the actors you see. I'm not talking about the playwright or the director either. They are often recognized along with the actors. I'm talking about costume designers and seamstresses, lighting designers, board operators, stage managers, set designers, set builders, the whole prop department (be that one person or 20), sound designers, spotlight operators, interns, ushers, box office staff....I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

    We may only mostly see Jen as the "face" of Epbot & Cake Wrecks, but I, for one, know that there are other people needed to make it happen. YOU are the most important of those.

    So, thank you, John, for everything you do. Keep being you because you are awesome. :)

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  29. I like you and it's going to be OK.

    I definitely have moments of "oh my god why am I bothering, nothing will work out" during things I make, too. Or anything creative, really. It's good to know I am not alone in that feeling, and that we have to push to get through it (or be pushed).
    Thanks for always sharing yourself candidly with us.

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  30. My wife said that you can call her babe all you want, fine by her. ;)

    I totally get you on the "everything is going to fail". It came to be a running joke that if my cooking failed (almost never does, but I almost always worry about it), that we'd order Chinese. We had 4 friends over on July 4th, and I was super freaked out that dinner would be awful because the Chinese place was closed. It turned out that it was fine, but I was really really nervous.

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  31. Hi, Mr. John! I have a few things to say, and it's probably gonna take a while. :-) I totally understand the feeling of "I have no impact". My little sister spent most of 2016 doing community service as Indiana's Miss Amazing Pre-teen, and mom was in charge of that stuff. While they were out doing interviews, fundraisers, charity drives, 5Ks, etc., I usually stayed home and edited/uploaded to Facebook the pictures from the previous event and did household chores. Besides being generally helpful like that, I was encouraging to and supportive of my sister, and mom says that makes me just as amazing as her. Mom-ness aside, that makes sense. Not many people (my age or otherwise) are friends with people who have special needs, let alone know how to help them.
    You're supportive of Jen, and that's amazing in itself, not counting how helpful you are to your local community or the community here from Cake Wrecks, Epbot, and "Facebot". Including that stuff, I say you're Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious level amazing!!!

    Miss Jen, even a "lazy lump of a blogger" can make an impact too, just by existing and writing. There's thousands of people you inspire, and the numbers rise with every post you make. I won't go into all the instances (mostly because there's too many to recall of the top of my head) but you've created a positive safe space for geekery, girliness, and goofing off here on the internet, and more places like this are sorely needed. (I personally am wanting to make my own blog but am kinda hesitant, mostly because I can't decide on a domain name yet.)

    I know this is a bit jumbled together, but my point is that the both of you are an unstoppable team of awesomeness who have a HUUUUUUUUUGE impact, and everyone loves you. (Even my mom, who has apparently already commented the same type of stuff!)

    With love, hugs, sprinkles, gratitude, and smiles,
    Pinkie Welborne, 16
    Indiana
    (aka the daughtbot.)

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  32. Gosh, I so needed that. I always try and tell myself that but it helps a lot when someone else says it too. I'm not a much of a hugger in real life but *eHug*!! Jen and John, you guys are awesome.

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  33. Dang it, who let the onion chopping ninjas in here again?!? Thank you for the reminder that we need to remind those important people in our lives that they ARE important and our lives are richer because of them.

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  34. I have read your blog for years now and I hardly ever comment, but I always find myself perking up when I see an email from Epbot in my inbox. It always seems that no matter what the post is about, whether it be insightful or funny or interesting, it just always seems to resonate with me. I love that you both always seem to find beauty and happiness in the world and then take the time to share that hope and humor with all of your faithful readers. While it definitely sucks to be feeling low, and believe me this has been a low year for me, I try to remember that the low times make us appreciate the high times even more. So keep on keeping on you two! This whole community loves you. You make a difference and an impact in MY life ALL THE TIME! :)

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  35. You two are all kinds of fantastic! I love being able to "know" you through the Interwebs!
    -Zippy

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  36. Man, I really needed to see this today. I had a miscarriage two and a half months ago, and I have been struggling so much with it. While I have support from friends and family, it's nice to know that I can find it here too. I've been reading your blogs for years, and got to meet you on one of your book tours. It's comforting to know that, even here amongst strangers, there is support. Thanks, Jen.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. My husband and I are well familiar with that pain. Please know that the pain will get better. It will never go away, but it will become easier to breathe, easier to think about babies, easier to live again. Hugs and a cup of comforting tea, along with my heart-felt prayers.

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  37. My John is named Rob.
    He is battling Chronic Lyme disease, a permanently dislocated shoulder, fibromyalgia, Rhumatoid Arthritis and COPD...just to name a few. Yet...he keeps me going. When I freaked out over a new job, he let me cry...and he let me quit because the anxiety was hurting me, even though the cut in income REALLY hurts. He let me keep a third cat. He prays with me and lets me cry and then takes me to a sci-fi convention and a special showing of Transformers...because he's just that awesome.

    So...to all the Johns and Jens out there...you're someone's awesome. Really.

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  38. Jen and John, it is so encouraging and heartwarming whenever there are posts that highlight the ways you love and support one another and lift each other up. You make each other better, and shouldn't that be how all relationships are? What a wonderful reminder to appreciate the people in our lives who do the same for us.

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  39. Okay, I am totally crying right now. I hope you both know that you guys impact a lot of people. I have been inspired to try new things and Jen, you once gave me great advice to help my kidbot who has anxiety go to Harry Potter World and John, you helped out with our FoE safe space, even when it made you the unpopular guy to some people- but the awesome guy to a lot more. Thanks to you both for being yourselves and inspiring a lot of people to let their weird lights shine brighter.

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  40. Jen and John - This resonates with me because I may have found my John finally. ..I kinda don't feel like typing it out, because I want to go make an iced coffee, play the Sims 4, and I need to type some stuff and do research for work. But I just got a text from him telling he made it home safely, and I'm thinking back to how I want to do some housework and how he reminded me before he left, that he'll help me with anything and next weekend.. maybe we can do the one small thing of installing a new phone jack. THe thing is.. I'm terrified to make that first cut in the drywall and add to my huge list of house home improvements my childhood home needs. He's not... and I think, With him I can do this small thing. It's just an electrical socket. I'm not knocking down a wall..

    but yeah..I think I've found my John except we're Shrimp and Apple (our nicknames for eachother obviously..)

    Thanks.

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  41. Your post hit SO MANY nails on heads! I, too, suffer depression and anxiety, and not leaving the house would be ideal for me. Unfortunately I have to go to work, so I wake up every day with dread and trepidation. I had to stop travelling in via Public Transport because the confrontations over minor things (like seats, bags, folding bikes etc) became overwhelming.

    I, too, feel as though LeHusband takes on the lions share of work while I am a useless, pointless, waste of space. A FAT useless, pointless, waste of space who is so fat the doctors can't fund a round of IVF. So I'm actually a BARREN, FAT, useless, pointless waste of space.

    Some days just getting out of bed and putting on clothes takes every ounce of energy I have.

    My weight ballooned when I went on Anti-depressants because SSRIs inhibit the signals which tell your brain 'I'm full'.

    So my stomach is saying "ARGH! STOP FEEDING ME!" and my brain says "Yeah, but I'm hungry though." Then my stomach says "No, you really aren't. I'm stretched to capacity here." Then my brain says "Yes, but I'm hungry, though."

    It's a no-win situation. You find yourself constantly fighting the urge to eat. When you do eat, the second you start to put food in your face it's like you've been on a starvation diet for 3 weeks - you JUST. CAN'T. STOP. EATING. So you're always fighting your brain and it's EXHAUSTING.

    No-one really seems to understand; They all nod their heads and make agreeing noises like 'Mmm Hmm' or 'Of course', but they just see 'Typical fat person, making excuses for their overeating and greed'.

    So I have to lose 7 stone. In a Year (because apparently the cut-off date for IVF funding is 35, and I'm about to turn 34... So I'm trying to come off the AD's. I tried breaking the tablets in half, but a half dose gives me awful headaches. So I have resorted to taking a full dose every 2 days instead of daily.

    It's not going as well as I'd hoped. It's SO HARD to break out of the cycle of anxiety and try to manage my symptoms on my own.

    But through it all LeHusband is my rock. He works so hard and I feel terrible for being so useless. But he manages my freak outs, makes sure I get fed, picks up the slack when I spend half the day in bed. He is my John.

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  42. *sighs*
    *looks around cluttered room, filled with half-finished projects..*
    *sighs again*

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  43. I have a John too - that is literally his name - so this made me cry in a good way. Glad you posted!

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  44. Jen and John, you guys inspire me so much. I could ramble forever, but instead I'm going to say this: my Monday morning read, that starts me off for the work week? It's Cakewrecks and Epbot. That way I know, no matter what else happens, I've started off the week in a good place.

    Thank you, from the bottom of my geeky, nerdy heart, for everything you do here. You have more impact than you know!

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  45. hi. you both matter. daily. you are both appreciated more than words can possibly convey. thank you for sharing your lives with us. the internet can be a scary and even dangerous place, but you both manage to create a bright, glorious, and safe spot for all. xo

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  46. I teared up a little reading this, especially this part:

    Maybe you're a little low right now, but you don't have a John. In that case, we've got you. Your friends, your family, this quirky band of internet geeks you've never met - even this lazy lump of a blogger who isn't sure she'll ever post this - we've all got you.

    I feel a little like where you're at, but, yeah, I don't have a John to balance me out. To have you then follow-up to say this collective has me? This hit me right in the feels.

    We haven't interacted much and I don't do Facebook, but your blog has become one of my favorite things on the internet. I love your DIY creativity, your cosplay, and your bravery to open up about the physical and mental issues you deal with, making yourself vulnerable to the hundreds of readers. It inspires me and lets me know I'm not alone feeling the way I do.

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  47. Tears. I has them.

    Honestly, I'm a bit behind in my RSS feed, but today was exactly when I needed this. We just moved and I've been feeling paralyzingly overwhelmed with everything I have to do, to finish unpacking, to install, etc. And my husbot has been amazing and done a lot too, but he works outside of the house which means a) he's gone 8 hours each day and tired (particularly as an introvert who's been around people all day) when he gets home, and b) that the things I, who am home all day with a 5yo and 2yo, consider higher priority aren't the same things he sees as higher priority. So anyway, I've just been reaching this point where I want to shut down and say, "So what? We'll love out of boxes the rest of our lives. All the work I'm doing and there's nothing substantial to show for it." So thank you for the encouragement that it does make a difference.

    And it's kind of funny to me reading your description of him being the detail guy with the plucky optimism and you being the big-picture dreamer with the pessimism. My husband is the detail guy, but pessimistic, and I'm the dreamer with the big picture scenarios in mind, but waver between optimism and pessimism constantly. :P

    Also, John, I just wanted to mention that even though your name in my brain is pretty well cemented as John-the-hubby-of-Jen, I also think of Jen as Jen who's married to John-the-hubby-of-Jen. As far as I'm concerned, you two are a package deal and have both made a huge difference in my life. A very positive difference. Thank you both!

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  48. How lovely this note is.

    My beloved passed away 2.5 years ago. With his passing went my cheerleader, my gut-check, my ground, my bashert (soulmate). On snowy or icy mornings, he'd actually drive my route to work (we worked a few miles from each other, but in the same direction) and then call me at 5:20 am to give me a road report, before I left for work at 6 am. The first bad weather day after his passing was REALLY tough.

    We were both DizGeeks (Pooh and Piglet were the cards we sent to each other) and I always wanted us to dress up for Dapper Days. When he got sick, I'd show him the photos from your blog here, Jen.

    We spent our honeymoon at Disney World and had a GRAND time. We had planned to do it up for our 10th Anniversary at the Grand Floridian, but did not get the chance.

    Every day is a gift, people. Never, EVER take each other for granted. Jen and John, please love each other - every single day. Don't let a day pass without telling each other that you love them.

    I miss him, I love him still. He's with me every day. As a Pooh to Christopher Robin card that I got him said, "Promise me you'll remember me - even if we live to be 100". Patrick, I certainly will.

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  49. Thanks for the reminder. I am 60 this year. I have changed careers 4 times, went back to school three times (once for 5.5 years when my daughter was 2), have the job the exceeds the job I wanted when I went back to school, raised my girl (now 26 and successfully employed with a great job) without a partner, sent that girl to college, survived two years of unemployment with no financial help from anyone . . . I could go on and on. Most of the time I still feel like I am lazy or a slacker, or an impostor and throw whatever else you can in there. Then I read an article like yours and remember that it was ME who did all that! Thanks. And then I laughed when someone on FB called me a Snowflake today.
    Shelley

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  50. This is the sweetest!! I have a John too, only his name is Joel. I definitely get in the same boat as you from time to time, and more so now that I'm in my first trimester and have ZERO energy. And my husband is a constant-motion machine every single day and thank Odin for him! But I definitely feel the guilt, and he's amazing enough to remind me that it's his tic that he can't sit still for more than 20 minutes, and so what if he almost always does the dishes? We fill each other's gaps for sure and that's the important part. :) xoxo

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  51. I wish I was more eloquent so I could adequately express my gratitude to both of you for being here and creating this awesome little corner of the internet. You both have made such a huge difference to so many people, myself included, that it's honestly a little baffling that you sometimes doubt your impact. I mean, I get it, we're all human and have those low moments, but I hope that in those harder times you remember how, just like you said this community is here for each other, we're here for you two, too! We love you both and are here to support and encourage you just like you do for us.

    Thank you from the bottom of my geeky heart for all you do and have done and for just being here and sharing your lives with us. Much love to you both! ('cuz you are a package deal, both equally important and impactful [which the computer is telling me isn't a word, but I've decided it is])

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  52. All I can say is thank you, from the bottom of my lurking little heart.

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  53. I see you guys as a team - 100%. all the gratitude i have for Epbot and Cake Wrecks and now Friends of Epbot is for BOTH of you. you can't have one without the other! x

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  54. Awww - the onion ninjas again...

    And you're both super awesome and make a huge impact! Hus-bot was super psyched to get to hang out with you while we were on our honeymoon and he was like "yeah it will be an hour or so" and was all "OMG I can't believe it's this late" when we left Disney Springs. It was totally awesome and like hanging out with people we've known IRL since the beginning of us knowing each other (let's not do that math, it makes me feel OLD)

    So yeah - I lost myself there.... thanks and you're awesome. and all the Epbot fans and peeps on FB - you're all awesome too!

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  55. Oh. My. GOSH. You could've been writing about my husband and me! I am the luckiest girl ever and he is the most wonderful man I could ever wish for. I spend a lot of time thinking about how much I love him and how I don't deserve him. He's the doer; I'm the pessimistic naysayer. He can fix anything, make anything, explain anything. He's my rock and the absolute love of my life. We've been married 37 years and I can't imagine what my life would've been like without him. And I call him baby and honey all the time.

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  56. Just...Thank you.

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