Sunday, February 14, 2016

This Twerking Bear Butt Is My Valentines Gift To You

A few weeks ago John and I thought we'd found the most high-class Valentine plush one could ever ask for at one's local Big Lots:

 A pole dancing pink leopard.

("Beware Of The Leopard" comes to mind...)


BUT THEN....

We found this:

My favorite part is the dead-eyed stare.

And I think I sprained something holding in my laughter for the entire 30 seconds it took to film this. Do I get some kind of wounded-in-action medal for that?  (Or would it be, "wounded in the line of.... DOODY?" Heyooooo)

In the end [snerk] we skipped Sir-Twerks-A-Lot and instead bought this robot for my mom:


It's no bear butt, of course, but c'mon. SO CUTE.


Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

*****

P.S. - Wait, wait, WAIT. YOU GUYS. I just realized the leopard has a push button, AND I DIDN'T PUSH IT. So if any of you get her as a gift today, PLEASE, upload a video of her in action. I have to know how much better/worse this gets. Kthxbai.)

******

REALLY IMPORTANT UPDATE:
we now have video:

40 comments:

  1. "You had me at "twerking bear butt."" I think tom cruise said that. Just think. An engineer designed that, got it through several corporate boards, manufactured probably somewhere where its meaning is completely lost, and then delivered for display and purchase. If that's not a Valentine's day miracle, then I don't know what is. Thank you, Jen. Just knowing it exists makes life a little brighter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A Valentine's Day miracle indeed. All we need now is a Hallmark movie to preserve it so we can watch every year.
      I'm almost tempted to go to Big Lots myself.

      Delete
  2. I'd call it being wounded in the line of BOOTY! :)

    Happy VD!

    -Zippy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dang it! That's the joke that I wanted to make, but I was too darned late! *kicks at rug, pouts*

      Jen, I'm currently trying to get rid of a lot of our Stuff, so we absolutely do not need a silly twerking bear, but I am fascinated by it and trying so hard to come up with a valid reason for getting one. Nope, not working. But it's so ... so ... twerky!

      Delete
  3. I'm very tempted to hit up the local Big Lots and see if they have pole-dancing pink leopards in stock, because now I'm immensely curious.

    Does anyone else think it looks like the robot keeps trying to hide behind the leopard? It's a shy love-bot! So cute.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is what I thought. Or else he was just trying to get a better look from another angle.
      No, no, no. He's shy, trying to hide.

      Delete
  4. You had my curiosity piqued so I searched for a video and, lo and behold, found a video of the leopard:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EVFJEz6Cac4

    Twerky the Bear still wins the ridiculousness award (and the bot for cuteness), but her little shimmy toward the end of the routine is pretty hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How did you find this? I did a google search and just came up with a lot of naughty stuff. And of course the ads on my laptop will be questionable for awhile. (Yay.) Not worth it for me. Wish I would have read the comments first.

      Delete
  5. Apparently though tweaking isn't just for Valentine's Day. Santa and his friends like to tweak too. href=https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=C_EkZFB1sxU

    The Easter Bunny should be tweaking soon at a store near you!

    Coming soon tweaking Easter Bunny and sterling Leprechaun for St Patrick's Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, I have to reply - it's tweRking. Tweaking is something entirely different.

      Delete
  6. my Valentine's day is complete, and it's not even 10am ! bahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was showing the video of the bear to my husband and I swear it looks like the tag is a piece of toilet paper hanging off the Bear's butt. Give a whole new level of eeeewwww to the experience!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yeah I also thought the tag looked like toilet paper hanging off it's butt...eeeeewwww indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  9. We actually dance to that song in my Zumba class! I also agree that the tag toilet paper was one of the first things I thought of when I saw it. Poor placement there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You tube saves the day! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sKLmSkTiDUk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you. As soon as I saw the pole dancer I knew she had to dance and when Jen and John didn't have a video of it...well, lets just say my life would be incomplete without knowing what sort of dance and music she had. Thank you for finding and posting it.

      Delete
  11. Does the robot remind anyone else of Dr. Zoidberg?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you mean Bender? Dr. Zoidberg is the crab-kinda-guy.

      Delete
  12. It's a sign of how far the economy has fallen when the illicit love child of Chester Cheetah and The Pink Panther has to dance her way through med school just like the rest of us.

    ReplyDelete
  13. As mentioned in the Mandrake post, I have a relatively high tolerance for creepy stuffed things. But Twerky the Bear just took it too far. Now, I'm sort of disturbed (more disturbed that I already am).

    ReplyDelete
  14. Jen,

    I just LOVE reading your blog. You lighten my day constantly! Happy Valentine's Day!

    Maureen

    P.S. It was great to see you in Pittsburgh!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, Big Lots! Years ago I had a dog food emergency and ended up buying a few cans of dog food there that had exactly one ingredient: beaver meat. It made my dog violently ill and I will always think of them as The Beaver Meat Place (well, that and Pick n'Save). Your videos do nothing to disprove this opinion. >:D

    ReplyDelete
  16. The dancing bear and the pink leopard give Miley Cyrus a run for her money. Kinda makes you wonder what else corporate America will come up with to sell for the next holiday?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow, those are all kinds of wrong, except the robot - he's pretty fabulous =)

    ReplyDelete
  18. What the... what... WHAT. I have no other words.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dude, gross! And I think that robot is kind of terrifying.

    ReplyDelete
  20. The robot wasn't bad but the bear and leopard.....truly horrifying! I really wonder what possesses people to make such things.

    ReplyDelete
  21. O...M...G... I'm dying! I thought the bear was bad but that leopard is just pure gold. Solid Gold! *jazz hands*

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have to admit, I'm somewhat jealous. We don't have tweaking Bears, or stripper leopards here. You Americans get all the best stuff

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *twerking, not tweaking. Stupid autocorrect

      Delete
  23. Oh Jen, you find such funny stuff. However, I had finally purged my brain of twerking images, and now you've firmly planted them once again - sigh. It's all good, though.

    @Toad White: You win the internet for your comment about the pole-dancing leopard! Love child, indeed...

    ReplyDelete
  24. My "new" New Years Resolution - Start every day by watching the dancing robot.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh god. I'm dying. Why did you do this to me Jen? I need to live to get to work! I have a lunch date with a friend. I'm too young to die...

    ReplyDelete
  26. How have I watched this bear 5 times already...with no sign of stopping??

    ReplyDelete
  27. I didn't see any of these at my Big Lots! I feel cheated!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oh god. I'm dying. Why did you do this to me Jen? I need to live to get to work! I have a lunch date with a friend. I'm too young to die...

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh!! I want the twerking bear!! I don't care how creepy that sounds.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You have the best commenters. I knew if I checked back someone would send you a vid of that bizzarro pink pole-dancing valentine... thingummy.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Pretty sure that song it's playing is "The Stripper." Why do I know that song? Because my high school marching band played it, obviously. Nothing to keep high schoolers in line like playing a song called "The Stripper."

    ReplyDelete

Please be respectful when commenting; dissenting opinions are great, but personal attacks or hateful remarks will be removed. Also, including a link? Then here's your html cheat sheet: <a href="LINK ADDRESS">YOUR TEXT</a>