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Well, This Is Awkward

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Since not all of you follow me on FB, I wanted to make sure you saw these updates re: my appointment tomorrow. (And I'm sorry to be inundating you with all this personal stuff, but you guys have been so wonderful this week I figure you deserve to know!)

 Update #1:


Just had a reminder call for my Doctor's appointment tomorrow...and the woman on the line was so curt and cold she managed to make "How are you" sound like a dirty insult. Even John commented on how angry she sounded. Then she moved my appointment up by an hour.

Not gonna lie - I'm a lot more trepidatious about tomorrow now than I was an hour ago. [deep breaths]




Update #2:


Uh oh.

John just googled the doc I'm seeing tomorrow & found a bunch of negative reviews: terrible office staff, cold demeanor, even an unnecessary biopsy! ACK!! Even the good reviews say she's always an hour late and a "salesman" more than a doctor. Crap. I think I should cancel - but I've been psyching myself up for this all week! ARRRRG. I need off this emotional roller coaster!

John says you guys won't think I'm a coward if I cancel.

Ok. I'm canceling.

But I promise I'm finding another doctor RIGHT NOW. I *am* doing this. Pinky swear.

So...anyone know a good "lady bits" doctor in Orlando? :/


( Mini Update #3: John's working on a good lead now, and we're planning on calling tomorrow morning - but any recommendations would still be appreciated!)

Posted by Jen at 5:59 PM Labels:

179 comments:

  1. I would advise against seeing any doctor that refers to any part of your anatomy as "lady bits" :)

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  2. I applaud your bravery. I've been going through my own issues with finding doctors and figuring out what's wrong with me.

    Nobody thinks you're a coward for watching out for yourself.

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  3. Glad you cancelled, glad you're using the momentum to make another appointment with a better doctor. You're in my thoughts!

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  4. Jen, I'm so stinkin PROUD that you cancelled. :D Follow your instincts and avoid a bad situation! And HUZZAH for John following up leads.

    Remember the Doctors work for YOU.

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  5. There's a huge difference between being nervous and feeling uncomfortable with a situation. Good for you for listening to your instincts! You are definitely NOT wimping out--you are being an advocate for your body and mental health. It's still a nerve-wracking position, but I'm sure that a more personable provider is a step in the right direction. Good luck!

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  6. You're not a coward. You're a human being who deserves to be treated as such. When someone's planning to get all up in your super personal business--even when that someone is a medical professional--and you feel uncomfortable for any reason, get the heck out of there and don't look back. Good for you for sticking up for yourself.

    Hope this lead you found works out for you!

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  7. Way to go!!! I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and not going to a doctor you feel uncomfortable with! It is your body and you shouldn't settle with a doctor that cares more about their bottom line and less about their patients.

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  8. I think you were right to cancel. It's okay to demand that you be treated nicely! And I bet you'll Google the doctor before making the appointment next time.

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  9. Jen, This is a link to an article in Orlando Magazine about Orlando Top Docs. There are several listed under ObGyn.

    http://www.orlandomagazine.com/Orlando-Magazine/December-2011/Orlandos-Best-Docs/

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  10. I would have cancelled, too. No need to do something when you have a reasonable expectation that it won't go well and you have other options.

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  11. You don't know me from another geeky blog-follower, but I'm proud of you for listening to your gut and taking control of the situation. Yay Jen! And yay John for good advice! :) Good luck in the hunt for someont with a decent bedside manner!

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  12. Here is an article from Orlando Magazine about Top Doctors in Orlando. Hope this helps get you started.
    http://www.orlandomagazine.com/Orlando-Magazine/December-2011/Orlandos-Best-Docs/

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  13. Of course you're not a coward!

    Your doctor should be someone you trust and are 100% comfortable with, even more if you've had bad experiences with one, you are doing the right thing.

    I guess it's not always economically or time-wise (if it's an 'emergency' problem) feasible, but 'lady bits' business is such a personal and specific thing that you could think about 'interviewing' your next doctor, take a whole visit where she/he won't even touch you, and where you just talk, ask all the questions you want, share your past history and fears and such and see how she/he reacts. It could put you at ease instead of making you nervous.

    * crossing my fingers for you to find the perfect doctor *

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  14. Glad you cancelled! Follow your instincts <3 ~Savannah

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  15. Shellie PattersonJune 28, 2012 at 6:29 PM

    Definitely cancel. And see if a new doc will setup a short meet-and-greet before your 1st appointment to see if you mesh!

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  16. Check out Tom Enyart, he used to live down here and I think he's in the Orlando area now. He is wonderful from what my friends have said. He worked in the group with my dr, plus his wife taught my daughter piano lessons (not that that makes him a better dr, I just trust him).

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  17. Cancel! Don't go if you're not comfotable. You're being smart, not a coward.

    I wish I knew a doctor for you! I have a good one here, but that doesn't do you much good, now does it? :)

    Keep us updated! Thoughts and prayers are with you.

    -Alyson

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  18. Jen,

    Be your own biggest advocate! YOU pay the doctor....it's YOUR body....YOU deserve better than a potentially crappy experience for an already awkward situation. I've had bad experiences with regular dr's and ob/gyn's and I stand up and say "no" I don't need that test, and no I am not coming back. It's very empowering when you take your health care into your own hands! I wish you only the best of luck with finding the right doctor....but once you do.....it really does make ALL the difference.

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  19. Go with what your heart tells you. There is absolutely no reason to feel more stressed than I'm sure you already do, and it doesn't seem like that doctor is the right fit. Take your time and find the right one. Just so happy to hear you are still looking! Good luck, I'm sure there is the perfect doctor out there for you!

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  20. Hey Jen. I don't have a personal recommendation, but have you used zocdoc.com before? They'll let you search by doctor specialty, your zip code, and your insurance plan, and you can read reviews of the doctor and schedule an appointment from the same page. I haven't used it myself, but I'm interning in the health care field and someone forwarded it to me as inspiration for another project. It looks like a really great system.

    And it is not cowardly at all to insist on seeing only doctors who will treat you with the respect you deserve. My doctor is phenomenal-- I wish I could send her to you in FL, because I know how much better it feels to be in the room with someone you can trust.

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  21. I'm sorry I don't know of any doctors in your area, but I want to let you know that you are not at all a coward for canceling. Going with your gut is never a sign of weakness. Listening to your instincts is a good thing!

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  22. Given your past experiences, I don't think anyone would blame you for canceling! I hope you are able to find a good, caring doctor. Take your time and find the right one!

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  23. hon, I used to work in patient advocacy and training people to be better patients, and what you are doing (cancelling and finding someone else) is EXACTLY what I would have instructed you to do! LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS. Keep working until you find a doctor who GETS IT, who works WITH YOU to take care of you! This should be a PARTNERSHIP, not you suffering. I am sending you so much love and caring, sweet geeky epbot!!!

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  24. Good for you for cancelling! I had a female OB/GYN several years back who was inconsiderate and abrupt (I winced during an exam, and she actually said, "Oh come on, it doesn't hurt!"). It made me put off getting regular exams. Finally she retired and I now see a very nice, considerate doc with a warm and professional staff. He's in California, however :(

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  25. Eww, I'm SO glad you cancelled! You're not a coward at all for wanting a nice, caring, knowledgeable, non-greedy, and hopefully-warm-handed girly bits doctor. Good for you! Health is mighty important...and so is trusting your doctor.

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  26. You're not a coward. I was the first commenter on your original post about this, and the world's biggest proponent of hysterectomies. (That doesn't look like I spelled it correctly.) What I didn't say in that comment was my doctor was kind, compassionate, and caring. He explained everything carefully and completely, and made sure I understood every step. If you aren't comfortable with your doc, find another. Then have the surgery, 'cause it's awesome!

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  27. Not a coward. A wise move. On all fronts.

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  28. Run Jen Run!!! Been there, done that...not fun, actually made me afraid of them for a long time. Not in FL so I don't have any recommendations for you - but wishing you lots of luck on finding a good one. Hugs!!

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  29. Jen, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are not a coward for cancelling. If you aren't comfortable with her then it's just common sense not to see her. I hope you find a good doc. My biopsies report came back Tuesday. All clear! I'm so glad to have that behind me, but I'm still praying for you, though.

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  30. I go to WomenCare off of 50, been going to them for about 5 years now. The site is http://brendabarrymd.com/. I love them! My best friend goes there now at my suggestion (and she's TERRIFIED of the ladybits doctor!) - she even actually DID need a biopsy, and after every visit she still thanks me for recommending them to her :)

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  31. Very glad you cancelled. I would definitely go with the reviews. Every time I've used ratemymd (Canadian site, I think the US equivalent is ratemds?) it's been pretty much spot on.

    This series of posts have prompted my first comment here (I've been a lurker for a long time and love your blogs). I've been through the medical system a couple of times and have had all sorts of doctors, including the kind that wouldn't give me my diagnosis because he thought as a young woman I wouldn't understand... Anyway, point is, take your time to find a *good* doctor and you won't regret it. The good ones are out there, the ones that like to put their patients at ease, have their comfort and rights at heart, and whose goal is to make you better. They really do exist.

    Best of luck!

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  32. I would have canceled too. You should feel comfortable with any doctor you go to, especially if it's for a problem that makes you extra nervous & worried. Finding a good doctor can be tough, but it can be done. Good luck.

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  33. Your choice to cancel was smart, not cowardly. You need to find a good doctor so you can start down the road of not dreading appointments, and anyone described as cold or "like a salesman" is definitely not a good choice for anyone. It says great things about you (and John) that you would cancel on that kind of doctor. I wish a compassionate, competent doctor upon you, and I hope you find him/her soon.

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  34. Gwyndolyn O'ShaughnessyJune 28, 2012 at 7:23 PM

    You are very brave to cancel. The fact that you go to a doctor at all, given your past experience, is even braver.

    You rock!

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  35. Nope, not a coward. It's extremely important to be an advocate for your own health. If you get the heeby-jeebies from somebody, run the other way. It's good to get suggestions from friends and reviews from others when it comes to finding a good doc. Some people even make an appointment with a doc for an "interview". Think about it...it makes sense. You're basically hiring him or her to help you stay healthy!

    Hang in there, Jen!

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  36. Jen,
    This is a big deal and if reviews are showing that this doctor is not treating patients like their concerns are a big deal, then you are wise to find someone else. NOT A COWARD.
    You have to trust a doctor, especially when dealing with the ladybits. So far this doctor, by reputation and office environment has earned exactly the opposite. Your peace of mind is too important to gamble on a second chance here.
    Sending hugs and best wishes!

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  37. I do not know any good women's health docs down near you, but I can offer myself as a resource if you need any help understanding results/recommendations/etc. I've spent most of the last few years writing about cervical disease and other women's health problems (including the ways in which many M.D.s are aggressive or abusive) , and I'm always willing to answer questions. Just drop me a note at the e-mail address on my site and mention that you're Jen from EPBOT. I've gotten an enormous amount of joy from your sites over the years, and I am happy to give back.

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  38. Cancelling seems more than reasonable. Good luck with the search for a good doctor!

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  39. You are DEFINITELY not being a coward to cancel. Follow your guts.

    Too bad you don't live in central Maine. I love my lady bits doctor.

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  40. I don't know any Drs in your area but I love zocdoc.com, and have found it to be pretty accurate with reviews.

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  41. I'm glad you cancelled! This is too important to see another lousy doctor.

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  42. Jen, I'm glad you cancelled, that was the smart thing.

    I explain that I have had a bad experience and ask the doctor to tell me everything that they are going to do in advance (before my legs are up). It does help to know what is going on, and it's easier to veto anything that you don't want.

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  43. So not a coward. Its called capitalism. The right of the consumer to choose the doctor/service they want. Bad service equals no business.

    Good for you.

    I know the pain makes it so you have to seek medical help but there's no reason for you to be treated badly to boot.

    Good luck. I have my fingers crossed for you.

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  44. Following your instincts and taking care of yourself is NOT being a coward! It's being brave and strong and smart! *hugs*

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  45. Not sure where in Orlando you are but Dr. Katherine Welty is in Southchase Village on OBT and i adored her.

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  46. Dude I know your pain. I went to Planned Parenthood once, and while I support their cause, I left there feeling pretty awful and gross. Poke. Prod. Get you out of the door.
    Here in atlanta we have a Feminist Women's Health Center that's pretty awesome. I'd recommend looking for something similar.

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  47. Choose the person you are most comfortable with. Period.

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  48. http://obgyncfl.com/physicians.html#Vanegas
    Last doc delivered both of my kids at my hospital (outside of Tampa). She's wonderful. we miss her at our hospital (work were I delivered)

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  49. Speaking as a receptionist/phone operator, if the receptionist isn't happy, it's probably not a good atmosphere, and that reflects on the doctors and the patients as well. my mother works for an OB/GYN and they're always relaxed and friendly there because the docs are good people and the patients are happy.

    You can't be told this enough, Jen. YOU ARE NOT A COWARD. Not for this. You have EVERY right to find a doctor that you like and that you're comfortable with. Honestly, your previous doctor should have had her license revoked and been arrested for assault. You were traumatized, and you're so very brave for putting your health in front of your fears and going back. You deserve to have the best experience possible

    And don't worry about dumping your personal stuff on us. What good is having a blog if you can't dump on the anonymous masses.

    I wish you were up here in Jersey. Between my mom's job and my father's health problems, I know oodles of wonderful doctors who would probably slap your old doctor in the face. Right after I did. That's how we Jerseyans roll.

    Remember: YOU ARE NOT A COWARD. You are strong and brave and have a truly wonderful husband.

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  50. Absolutely cancel! (which you've already done) You've got to be comfortable with who you're going to. I believe there is a subscription to Angie's List (I'll assume you know what that is or can Google it) that includes medical reviews. I have not used it, but it might be just the thing for you.

    However, be wary of believing everything you read - or, rather, believing that just because you DON'T find that information about a doctor you're seeing that they are great. It feels to me like the majority of people who are writing reviews are the people who have negative reviews to write. People simply don't write about their positive experiences much.

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  51. Nope, you're not a coward. You're thinking ahead and watching out for your entire well-being!

    I frequently find that the office staff is a good (or bad) barometer for how the doctor will be. They set the tone for the entire practice, evidently. I also love those review sites!

    Hope you find a fantastic doctor. And have fun at the con this weekend!

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  52. I have no leads for a doctor. Just wanted to let you know you absolutely did the right thing in canceling. That's not cowardice, that's smart and brave (gonna have to psych yourself up for it all over again).

    *hugs*

    Andrea

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  53. Jen, here's how I find specialist doctors: I have a primary care physician (PCP) whom I love, and I ask for her recommendations as to which specialist she thinks will be right for me. I found the PCP by asking colleagues/friends what they like about their doctors, and it was clear from the responses which doctor would be the best fit for me.

    It might be easier for you to find a good PCP and *then* a good GYN than to find a good GYN directly.

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  54. Oh man. Canceling DEFINITELY sounds like the best choice there! I don't know any Doctors in Orlando, but I just wanted to tell you there ARE good ones out there! I have several medical phobias including needles and Doctors in general, and I found a "lady bits" Doctor who was AMAZING.

    She saw how nervous I was when I arrived, and decided not to do the exam that day. She spent 40 minutes just TALKING to me. And she gave me happy drugs for the actual exam appointment so I could relax and stop hyperventilating. They do exist! Stay strong, you can find a good one!

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  55. I am so glad you cancelled. Check out raye my doctor in a google search. There is a website that gives great reviews where you can search by speciality and area to find the highest rated docters and read reviews.

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  56. Oh Jen! I don't think any of us think any less of you for being cautious! I once had a doctor (my first grown up doctor, mind you) that was terribly rude and who seemed to want to push antidepressants on me within ten minutes of meeting me! You better believe I dropped her like a stone! The thing about doctors is that they're there for YOU! If they don't respect you, or if they make you feel uncomfortable, then do yourself a favor and GTFO! I hope you find someone good soon. Love from Indiana.

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  57. You're making the right decision. Never go to a doctor with whom you're not completely comfortable. The whole purpose of reviews is to warn people of potentially bad experiences.

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  58. Good for you. I would have canceled just on the tone of the phone call and the moving of the appointment. Even more once I read the reviews.

    You will get through it!

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  59. Jen,

    I am of the opinion that a person should go into any doctor's appointment feeling like they are collaborating with a trusted advisor regarding their health. Anything less should get the heave-ho.

    I have had more positive experiences with doctors than negative ones, and certainly nothing that would qualify as traumatic.

    My husband, who has a rare gastrointestinal allergy, however, has had some appointments that deserve to be on Fear Factor. Persistence, research, and a cheering section (that's my job), have brought him to excellent doctors who are helping him to manage his condition.

    I can confidently say that you will find a good doctor, and the initial fears of treatment will be overridden by the benefits of finding a healthcare provider who treats your condition successfully, and treats you respectfully.

    Thinking of you and wishing you the best,
    A Canadian who has never been insulted by any Cake Wrecks references :)

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  60. So glad you cancelled! Also glad John looked the doctor up first. I wish I lived near Orlando so I could make a recommendation. Hang in there. You'll find a good doctor who will take care of you.

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  61. I am going to suggest again contacting a Midwife for recommendations they will know the best and worst.

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  62. I know that you are scared, which is contributing to your quickness to cancel, but I think you're right to go with your gut and cancel. If there are bad reviews AND you got a bad feeling from the person that called, then that's a bad sign. I always check healthgrades.com before going to someone new. Good luck!! There are lots of us thinking of you. :)

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  63. Jen, You are such a rockstar for cancelling!

    Im sure you will find a lovely respectful doctor but it can take time...

    The fear of being examined (sexual abuse victim) does eventually go away once you have found a gyn who you can trust but it's a long road.

    ER docs (generalising some have been lovely) have been the worst for me! But when you've got lady bits issues ridiculously frequent exams tend to numb the fear...

    (I did however burst into tears the day nefore your earlier post - strange results from my last smear - nothing to worry about but does now mean I have to get one every year unlike the three yearly reccomended in NZ)

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  64. I think it is great that you canceled! It will be so much better to go to a doctor that cares about YOU rather than what you carry in your wallet! You deserve a good experience! :)

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  65. HOLY TAMOLE! You should totally do Dr. Kyle Crowfoot! Not only did he deliver me AND my brothers, but he delivered all of my mom's younger sis' babies when the time came! He is nothing short of amazing, helpful, hilarious, caring, experienced and basically, the best OBGYN ever. I TOTALLY RECOMMEND, and I'm pursing a med degree right now!!! http://www.wellness.com/dir/2078686/obgyn/fl/orlando/kyle-crofoot-md

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  66. I would have canceled after seeing those reviews too! I want to feel well taken care of at a doctor's office.

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  67. the last lady bit doctor i visited i should have canceled and/or walked out when i got there. not only did the doctor have her dog in the office, the dog was roaming in and out of patient rooms. this was possible because the doctor kept the door to the room open at all times because she too kept wandering in and out. while i was in the stirrups. these were some of the best parts of my visit. be an aggressive patient, you and john are the only ones taking care of you.

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  68. Definitely a great idea for you to cancel. I used to see a "lady bits" doctor who came highly recommended, she is quoted in large national publications, received multiple research awards, etc etc. However, she was flighty, constant saleswoman (everything from getting rid of freckles to weight loss surgery, none of which I requested, thank you very much), and just didn't listen to me and my HUGE anxiety over my exams (actually told me to hush once and told me to just "get properly laid" and the exams would go SO MUCH better). Now I see a wonderful doctor, and my anxiety is much lower. It took some time to find her, but it was worth it!

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  69. You might try looking on some "mommy boards" for Orlando. I am also looking for a new OB/GYN and I find that new moms are often a good place to look for quality doctors. They have 9 months of exams and interactions to draw from after all.

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  70. Good for you for following your gut. Having someone check out your lady parts is far too important, you need someone you can trust to do that.

    Just a thought, and it may not be appropriate depending on what you need the appointment for, but have you considered a midwife? I see my midwife for all my lady bits care, not just the pushing babies out bit. I've always felt much more comfortable at the midwife's office than I have at a doctor's.

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  71. Good on ya girl for listening to your gut.

    I think that good dr you are looking for is out there. Don't give up.

    ((hugs))

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  72. You DEFINITELY made the right decision! You need a doctor who treats you like a partner, and not like a paycheck. Best of luck, sweetheart. We're all behind you here.

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  73. First, good on you for canceling! You're not a coward by any means.

    Secondly, I can not say enough good things about Celebration OBGYN. All of the staff are super friendly and amazing, and I never get stressed about my appointments. Both of the doctors I've seen over the past three years are amazing, Dr. Marcantel, and NP Boyette. If you want any more info on them, feel free to contact me! I'd love to talk about them with you if you'd like.

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  74. Without a doubt, you did the right thing.

    As the daughter of a doctor, I grew up with a sacred respect for the profession. The most important thing about medicine my dad taught me, though, was that I am partner with the doctor, and I am in charge of every visit. I bring a list of questions with me, I refuse to leave until I understand and feel good about the next steps, I ask (ahead of time, when I schedule) to be scheduled for longer than a typical appointment if I'm particularly concerned about something, and most importantly, I talk openly with my docs about the second opinions I'm getting and if I decide to go elsewhere. My friends are always amazed that I "get better care" than they do, and I'm often the friend that gets brought along- from ob/gyns to oncologists.

    There are fantastic doctors out there, and when we demand excellent medical care, we can get it. Listen to yourself, and keep demanding!

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  75. The first OB/GYN clinic I went to when I started college sent out a "Congratulations on you pregnancy" postcard to my mother addressed to me and we had a very interesting phone call after that, seeing as how I wasn't pregnant. Fun times.

    Completely irrelevant story, but I thought you might need a giggle.

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  76. You do what is right for you. No one will think less of you. :) Just remember to breathe and give John a big hug for being so awesome. Jen, you're doing great.

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  77. If you lived near me in Oregon you could go to my naturopath. She leaves chocolate mints on my pillow when she needs to give me a pap. There is a lady you can trust. Good Luck finding a doctor that is as good as she is.

    Big Hugs!
    ~Another Jenn in Forest Grove

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  78. :D great job cancelling that appointment! granted, I've read a lot of bunk that passes for "reviews" on the net but you've got enough going on- you don't need to go in there wondering if they're true or not.

    -Barbara Anne

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  79. I'm so glad you cancelled. Nothing even slightly cowardly about it. Fearlessness isn't possible within the realms of sanity, for one thing, and secondly, you have every reason to be nervous/have been given a legitimate reason to think this doctor won't be any better. No regrets necessary. Follow up on promising leads and do plenty of research. If I were you, I'd make sure your new appointment was no less than a week in the future, just to give yourself plenty of time to find out as much as you can and prepare yourself emotionally.

    And when you get there, please please please be open as you can bring yourself to be with the doctor. If your new medical team is comprised of actual human beings, it will help a LOT.

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  80. You're so not a coward for canceling. I went to a new doc a while back for a prescription refill and annual exam. She was rude, abrupt, condescending and made me make a follow up appointment for the exam. I made the appointment to get out of the office without any more conflict and then called and cancelled it as soon as I got home. I just couldn't stand the thought of this awful woman touching me anywhere, let alone my girl parts. Gyn exams are hard enough without having to deal with unprofessional providers. You absolutely did the right thing.

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  81. Sounds to me like you did the right thing cancelling with that doc...definitely not cowardly! I do hope you find someone good soon, though!

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  82. First of all, this is your blog, so you are allowed to post what you want here. The subtitle does include the word "Girliness", and you can't more girly than taking care of your "girly bits".

    I don't follow you on Facebook, so I'm glad you are posting this here. (I probably should follow you, except that I check my blog lists more often than I check my Facebook account.)

    Sending lots of positive thoughts your way that you find a caring, competent doctor that you feel comfortable going to.

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  83. good for you, for both canceling and looking for a new doctor!

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  84. You are absolutely right to cancel if any member of the staff makes you feel slighted or uncomfortable. They are there to serve you, not the other way around. Don't e afraid to walk away if any part of the visit isn't working for you. Even if something unpleasant has to happen, you should understand why first and be prepared, not just thrown into something.

    Good for you, taking control of your healthcare!

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  85. This might sound stupid but I would talk to your local planned parenthood. Not sure if they'd be a good place for something beyond a normal checkup but maybe they can refer you to some places that would be a good option. Social organizations like Planned Parenthood are FULL of resources and are usually very willing to take time to provide you with info. It's what they are there for.

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  86. Normally I'd say cancelling was a bad idea - but now that you have us all watching, you could never skip making and keeping another appointment ;) Good luck with the search!

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  87. My wife has been a patient of Loch Haven OB/GYN (Princeton & Orange Ave, right off I4) and Dr. Crider... He is a great doctor and very personable, especially with husbands who attend appointments with their wives... My wife has struggled with similar issues and having issues starting a family. Dr. Crider is has been a big help and we are hoping to start the process again very soon (finally have the necessary medical insurance)! You will not go wrong with him or any of the other doctors there...

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  88. Yaaaaay you cancelled! Good for you.

    I had a thought - in case the lead Jon's got doesn't work out. I get my girlie doc needs met by a Certified Nurse Midwife. I've been seeing her for years, with no intention of having a child (and boy was I glad, when the no-baby thing changed, that I already knew her).

    A lot of these practitioners handle OB-GYN stuff as well, but more importantly, the whole attitude is light years away from your typical doc. I REALLY recommend you find one because 1) she'll be on YOUR side 2) they tend to be much more compassionate 3) they can do nearly everything an OB-GYN can and 4) if you have a condition she thinks requires an OB-GYN, she'll be right there in your corner with recommendations, referrals to GOOD doctors, and advice if anything goes wrong.

    Most insurance companies have CNMs in-network, so you should be able to find one in your area on your ins company's website, or there's a CNM association with a directory on their website, I think.

    SO proud of you for insisting on care you can trust. Hope this helps! (And I can't believe I remembered that today is Jen Doctor Day at 7 in the morning - I forget my own birthday, for cripes's sake. Sigh.)

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  89. I highly highly highly recommend getting an Angie's List subscription (or "borrowing" a friend's) and using that to hunt down docs. I've used the site to find a number of different docs and it's been right on, every time. (And they're good for other things too)

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  90. yes, never be afraid of canceling with any doc if you're not comfortable with them. it's far better for your health and well being if you are totally comfortable with who you're seeing. Besides, why give them the satisfaction of getting your money if they're going to act like that?

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  91. Good call. Professionals of all kinds aren't perfect, and they're a mixed bag--if your gut is telling you to cut and run (and John agrees), it's probably the right move!

    Good luck getting your medical issues sorted out. You'll get there!

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  92. I had an endometrial ablation from Dr. Lamvu when she was in Chapel Hill. I highly recommend her as competent and compassionate. Good luck.
    http://www.floridahospitalwomen.com/en/finder/physician/georgine-lamvu-md-mph-facog

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  93. I'm not sure where you are in Orlando, but Dr. Advincula at Celebration Health is a star. Very personable, quiet, gentle, explains everything as he goes along. His staff is nice and worked hard to fit me in.
    He's specifically a gyn surgeon, and pioneered some techniques of robotic surgery, which has much shorter recovery time. He did a delicate surgery for me back in February, and did a great job. I would highly recommend him.

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  94. The best of luck to you Jen, you're definitely not a coward for cancelling this appointment if you don't feel comfortable with it.

    Going to this kind of doctor is difficult enough that you need to be able to go with trust that you will be treated with care and respect.

    An idea, on top of the rest, I know I live in a completely different country, but around here, some doctors accept to see you a first time without any touching included, just so you can get to know them and see if you feel like you can trust them enough. Maybe have a look into that? My way of seeing it is that if someone accepts, then they'll probably be worth seeing again; if they refuse, then they're probably not going to earn my trust anyway, so...

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you to find the one who fits you!

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  95. I hope you let them know exactly why you canceled your appointment. they need to know to change their customer service. or to know why they are scaring away business. Doctors are in business and if their employees are chasing away customers they ought to know.

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  96. Good for you! I'm really glad you cancelled, and hope you find someone who can earn your trust. We're rooting for you! ::shakes pom poms::

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  97. I don't blame you one bit, I feel that if the front of the clinic person is giving you bad vibes, there is a reason. I had a dr who did my gastric bypass and the front desk lady was so rude,and snappy on the phone and in person. I should have gone elsewhere, but after the surgery I refused to go back and now go to another clinic.

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  98. Of course you are not a coward! You did the right thing! I hope you find a great doctor as well. On that note, I would like to say that I used to think that a male gyno would be terrible because he doesn't know what any of it is like. However, I've found that my current doctor, who is male, is by far the best one I have. As it turns out, it is because he has no personal frame of reference to compare things to that he believes what his patients say. For instance, when I tell him "I have horrible menstrual cramps" he says "let's get to the bottom of this" instead of saying "oh I know exactly what you mean, I get cramps too. It will go away once you have a baby. In the meantime just take some pain killers." Obviously you want a doctor that you will feel comfortable with, and there are great female gynos, but just don't rule out all the male doctors out of hand. Good luck!

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  99. Don't feel bad! You did the right thing Jen. Trust your instincts on this one. Remember, the doctor and their staff are being hired by you to do a job. It's okay to shop around and to take a few days to make sure that you find a doctor you feel comfortable and safe with.

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  100. You are most certainly not a coward for cancelling. It's incredibly important that you be comfortable with your doctors, and if this one is getting that many bad reviews then I can see why you aren't.

    I'm going through similar issues as you are and I don't know if I would have been able to go through with the biopsies and the potential embolizations and/or hysterectomies that are potentially in my future if I wasn't 100% happy with my two specialists. I do wish I could recommend them both to you, but Canada is a bit far of a commute from Florida.

    I hope you find someone soon!

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  101. I need to find you on FaceBook! I've been thinking about you all week!
    I'm glad you cancelled that appointment with Mr./Ms. JerkFace. Your doctor shouldn't be rude/mean!
    You are NOT a coward for cancelling an appointment with a rude doctor - it takes more guts to cancel an appointment and find a new doctor than to go to the mean one because you've psyched yourself up. (I speak from experiance. :))
    Still thinking about you & sending good doctor vibes!

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  102. Good for you to cancel! No one should ever be treated like chattel. File a complaint with the local AMA Board - they need to know about bad doctors!How lucky you are to have John.

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  103. Go with you heart, Jen!

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  104. finding a better doctor is never a bad thing, but "running late" (especially with an obgyn) isn't always a bad sign either. 1) they may have had to deliver a baby (if they are attached to a hospital) 2) i usually have to wait on my doctor (who i <3), but i know that when it is my turn he will take all the time i need to talk to me, answer me questions, etc. yes, it can still be a little annoying sometimes, but i know that i will feel i am just as important as any other patient once i get in there.

    good luck!

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  105. Like a bunch of others have already mentioned, you really should set up a meet and greet with your new doctor. Any doc worth going to will gladly sit down with you, hands off, and just talk about what's going on prior to any "real" appointment. Then you'll know who's going to be poking and prodding your lady-bits and feel a little more comfortable with the situation. That's the only reason I started going to my current doctor and I've been with her for 10 years through 3 pregnancies...love her, but she's here in California, otherwise I'd recommend her.

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  106. I am glad you cancelled. And I'm really sorry you have to go through this crap.

    I think you should take the rest of the day off to drink hot chocolate and watch The Princess Bride.

    just saying.

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  107. Oh, yeah -- CANCEL. You DO NOT have to put up with that.
    Please keep us appraised, Jen. We care about you and John, you know. In a fun fan, non scary way, of course.

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  108. Not only are you NOT a coward for cancelling, you are standing up for your health. And by doing this so publicly, as vulnerable as it might be, you are setting a powerful example to other people who might let bad medicine take advantage of people's desire to not make waves.
    Thank you for being such a powerful woman! I am keeping you (and John) in my thoughts! Much Love!!

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  109. Thought about not chiming in, because you've already gotten so many awesome support comments, but, then I realized, it never hurts to have one more.

    Jen, good for you for cancelling. When your gut (and internet reviews) are telling you to get out, you should! And then, to continue to face down the fear, and find a new doctor? An even braver move.

    I know I'm just a geeky stranger, but you're good people. I wish you nothing but the best of luck finding a doctor who treats you like the good people you are. <3

    And John, major points for helping Jen take care of herself, and just generally being awesome and supportive.

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  110. You are no coward for canceling. You are smart for checking out the doc. There is no doc/patient relationship so important to me as that one! Also, its great you are lining up a new one. There are really great doctors out there!

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  111. I'm glad that you found out before you went that she wasn't a great doctor. Much better to find out before than during. I had a doctor who tried to diagnose me with post-partum depression because I cried when she did a colposcopy. Which is clipping off bits of your cervix. Which fucking hurts, especially if only a few weeks before you pushed a baby out of your vagina. Bitch. I dumped her like a hot potato and haven't looked back. My new doctor is awesome. Good luck finding a good one!

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  112. What everyone else said -- good on you for listening to your gut and canceling! We've changed doctors because of nasty office staff before, and wrote them a letter telling them the reason just so they'd know what bitchy people they had working for them!

    I don't have a recommendation for finding a doc, but I do have a suggestion for a way to ask a whole bunch of questions that I've used several times with doctors that has been very successful for me: Starting at least a few days before you go see the doc, write down your questions and concerns, your previous bad experiences, anything that you need to help you remember everything you want to talk to the doctor about. Then you'll have plenty of time to add to the list before you go see the doc, and you should be able to remember everything you wanted to say/ask before you go in.

    Also, if you think of more questions after you see the doc, fax or email them to the doc, who can then call or email you back with the answers. This is a great way of letting the doc find a time when they have a few minutes free to really focus on your questions and answer them more fully than they might during an office visit, which is all too often rushed thanks to the dear insurance companies. I especially recommend this if you're going to have any kind of procedure done; I know I *always* think of questions after I've seen the doctor, but I won't let them touch me till all my questions are answered!

    I know you'll find a really good doctor, and by all means don't settle for someone who doesn't meet your expectations. You have a right to good treatment, and you're your own best advocate!

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  113. Here's a smile for you. Check out my friend Ross's post on shyness:

    http://rossbrownfoot.blogspot.ca/2012/06/photo-friday-overcoming-shyness-for.html

    Great pics and a lovely follow-up conversation!

    Judith in Ottawa

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  114. Dr. Krupitky at Altamonte Family Practice does my lady bits exams. He remind me of Egon. :) He's mellow. Been going there for probably close to 15 years. Office staff really tries to be nice, in the face of full schedules and cranky patients, I feel for them. The girls up front are always sweet.

    Dr. Grace Sarvotham in Altamonte delivered my 8-y.o. She was SOOOOOOO sweet and calming. At that time, she was so busy she only accepted pregnant gals. I don't even know if she's still there.

    Egon is though. Took my son there last week. Again, they are super-busy and I do tend to wait about 1/2 hour after arriving to get in.

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  115. NO, we don't think less of you! You know YOU best, follow your instincts! Also, you may want to use your health insurance as a reference. There should be a website or 800 number you can call to ask them who's on your plan and what they know about the doctor. And check out BBB.org (Better Business Bureau) for reviews/complaints...sending hugs!

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  116. John is right, I'm very glad you canceled. It's so important to find a doctor you can trust and this one sounded fishy. I hope everything works out.

    I actually made an appointment for my first Ob-Gyn exam in years, many many years, and part of it was because of you. I figure if someone can go thru all of that and still have the guts to make the appointment, I can too. I had to stop being a baby and put on my big girl pants. I'm going in on Tuesday. Thank you for sharing.

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  117. Is it awful that I LIKE hearing the horror stories?
    I chose my first Dr because he had been my mom's Dr and all that stuff. My first visit, he and the nurse quit what they were doing to admire my watch. While my feet were in the air. Then he had me coming back every 6 months even though there wasn't anything wrong with me. I quit going after he made me bleed.
    My current Dr was very gruff the first time I saw her and refused to believe that at 30, I had never been pregnant or had an abortion. Since I was new in town, I went back when it was time. She's gotten nicer over the years. And after 5 years of living in Reno, I understand her disbelief..

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  118. I'm so glad you are getting so much love and support from your readers, Jen, and that you are sharing the follow-up stories. (Because clearly a large percentage of your readers care)

    I do want to second what one person said about not necessarily trusting the reviews. I mean, go with your gut and choose someone who sounds good, but be open to making up your own mind, either way. When I was expecting baby #2, my OB-GYN was a man who seemed a little cold--and he sat as FAR across the room as he could possibly get from me during the consulations! We're taking rolled that chair into the farthest corner! But I asked him lots of questions, was comfortable with his answers, and decided I was ok with his demeanor, because I wasn't looking for a new friend, I wanted a compentent doctor to deliver my baby, and he felt like it.

    Then at a party I met another woman my age who had seen that same dr for her baby, and she was going off on how impersonal he was. Which, funny to say, brought out my "stand up for the underdog" instincts. ; ) I think I started to pay more attention to what he said, how he acted--and I came to the conclusion that he was likely very very mildly on the Asperger's spectrum, which explained a lot, but that he was also a very gentle, caring man who was also expecting his first child with his wife. : )

    My instincts to stick with him were good ones, and I later found out not only does he travel on medical missions to provide free health services to impoverished people in other parts of the world, but when we had to move before my baby was born and his office staff removed me from the computers too soon and I showed up for my last visit before the move (at 8 months preggo!) he chided the office workers and without a beat ushered me graciously into a consult room, knowing he would not be paid for it because of their record-keeping gaffe.

    So sometimes you have to listen carefully to your instincts--in this case, others would have said he was not a good dr just because of his "cold" demeanor, but under that misperception he was all I could ever hope for. His name is George Stark, in case he is still there in Colorado Springs and anyone needs a good OB-GYN!

    I also want to mention that I don't see dr's for checkups--I always ask for the nurse practitioner. They are usually SO MUCH nicer and gentler than the drs, but are fully qualified. (This goes for the pediatricians too--while they are usually nicer than adult drs, I have been so happy with our nurse practitioners for our kids.) I will never forget the time I went into the gyno NP for the first time, and she cheerfully asked me, "Have you ever seen your cervix?" This is after years of marriage and one baby and I said, "Um, no?" And she handed me a mirror and walked me through my own body parts and showed me what she was doing. (This was Dr. Stark's NP, before I met him) Can we say empowerment?

    Much love and compassion from out here in CA!

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  119. Definitely a good idea to cancel. You did the right thing.

    Online reviews usually skew negative, but I mean, my awesome dentist has all positive reviews, so I feel like they can definitely be accurate and not overly negative. I'm sure you'll find someone good! I wish I had a recommendation to make.

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  120. Oh my gosh, honey, I'm just catching up after a week away. I too am glad you cancelled. You must have a reasonable degree of confidence in your doctor, especially after your horrible experience last time. Absolutely take the time you need to do enough research to feel comfortable with your choice.

    I have been dealing with "lady trouble" myself for a few weeks, and I think I got pretty lucky with the OBGYN I was referred to. (My GP always did my paps.) My biopsy wasn't as bad as I had feared, even though it took two tries! It helped that I did some surfing first and saw advice to take a megadose of ibuprofen an hour beforehand. (Of course, that surfing is also where I saw horror stories that made me nervous.)

    Long story short: Take as much time as you need. You might also first schedule a non-exam-or-procedure meeting to simply meet and talk with the doctor to get an idea if you would be comfortable with them. Any doctor worth his/her salt will not have a problem with this.

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  121. Darlin', I'm more proud of you FOR cancelling! It takes courage to stand up for your own health, and your own healthcare. AND - you are doing all the right things by doing the research. Here's sending healing thoughts that you find a FABULOUS girly doc that meets ALL your needs.

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  122. Good for you, listening to your instincts! Find someone who can make you as comfortable as you can!

    I ignored the warning signs about my OBGYN, the few times I saw her she had the warmth of a dead fish. A couple months ago I was having alot of cramping during early pregnancy, so I went in...she came in looking at my charts (no eye contact) and instead of "you're fine, how do you feel, this is normal" she starts commenting about how weird it is that it was exactly one year ago I saw her because I was miscarrying.
    I see another doctor now.
    Trust your gut. I'm proud of you for shutting that situation down before it got bad...good luck finding the perfect MD!

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  123. Good on you for cancelling - listen to your small still voice. As others have said, it's not wimping out, its standing up for your own feelings.

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  124. I'm glad to hear that you canceled your appointment! Definitely not worth going through all THAT again - especially if you don't have to! Good luck with everything!!!!!!!

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  125. CANCEL! CANCEL! CANCEL! You don't need that! I personally think you need your GYN to refer you to a reproductive endocrinology doctor. Just a thought. And you are darn brave for cancelling that appointment!

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  126. 100% Cancelling was the right thing to do! There is no reason to put yourself through more needless trauma. I've wasted way too much time on crappy doctor's - most recently a chiropractor who's now caused me to have virtigo and throw up all the time. Fun! You deserve kind, respectful care - especially when the lady bits are concerned. :-)

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  127. ALWAYS go with your gut feeling. Hope you find a good OB soon!

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  128. Yup, yup, yup, definitely the right move to cancel!

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  129. Totally not a coward, you should always be comfortable with your doctor, especially one of this type. I saw that someone else already recommended my doctor. While not technically Orlando, I use Dr. Enyart at Florida Women's Center in Altamonte Springs. He and his office staff are great. He is very gentle and tells you what he is doing before he does it, so there are no unpleasant surprises. I recently had an issue with my medication and had several phone conversations with the office staff, who were extremely helpful. He is also my sister's "lady bits" doctor and I switched to him a couple of years ago on her recommendation when my doctor moved to a practice in another town.
    Dr. Enyart

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  130. Go to babycenter.com and see if you can find a forum for your area and either ask for doc recommendations or just search for them. I know that is for "baby" doctors, but the ones that are good at that are usually good at the other stuff too, and pregnant ladies are SUPER picky about their doctors, and (again) no one on that shy is about admitting something they are displeased with.

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  131. Good for you for not going through with a situation that didn't make you feel comfortable. We have got to stand up for ourselves and not worry about how that is going to appear. You've got us all behind you! Oh and have fun at the Con!

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  132. Good job on canceling-- I think you did the right thing. I too had a similarly traumatic experience at the OB/GYN's, and had to keep looking around for a different doctor (I was going to have a baby, which is supposed to be at least a little happier, right?)

    I don't have any leads for a doctor for you, but I think it would be a good idea to let your new doctor know a little bit about what you've been through-- it would remind them to be on their best behavior and at their most attentive. I think OB/GYNs (and other professionals, really) sometimes forget to think about how their patients/clients might be feeling. Good luck!

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  133. You're not a coward at all. You shouldn't have to go to a doctor who makes the whole awkward process of ladybits care any more painful than strictly necessary. Good job cancelling, and here's hoping this next lead turns out great for you -- there are good doctors out there!

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  134. Oh, dear heavens, no! I'm so glad that you had the courage to cancel--if the secretary is that curt and almost-rude and you don't feel comfortable then there's no reason to torture yourself. Glad you're finding someone else.

    I know it may sound weird, but I've been to two guy OB/GYNs and one female one (plus a female NP) and I've *always* had a much nicer experience with the guys. ALWAYS. And in case you might think it's a little awkward, I thought it might be, too, but the first one is the one that insisted on a nurse being there for my appointment and the second welcomed my husband into the room with smiles and inquiries about whether he had any questions (exactly the same way he treated me).

    (I only mention that because your first experience was with a woman and maybe if you have someone completely different it'll help the anxiety. Maybe. :D)

    Good luck!

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  135. As one of the unemployed, I go to the Planned Parenthood across from the Citrus Bowl. They've always been kind and willing to talk as long as I had questions. Good luck...

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  136. Good for You for cancelling. I say do not ignore your gut instincts. And remember, male GYNS are not bad either. My GYN is a male and even though he has GIANT fingers, he is soft spoken and gentle and sweet as can be and so is his staff.
    You could even try a family practice doc. They do a lot of pelvic exams and paps and the key word there is family. They want you to come back and since they see you for everything, their staff and the docs are tend to treat people like old friends. That has been my experience with family practice docs.

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  137. I know so many others have said the same - 100% behind your decision. You have the right to feel comfortable with your doctor. Don't let any crabby office jockie or pushy doctor make you feel any less.

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  138. Glad you canceled, Jen! You don't need yet ANOTHER rotten experience with an unexpected biopsy! I'm glad John has a good lead to finding you a GOOD doctor.

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  139. You are NOT a coward! Also, find reviews on any doctor you consider making an appointment with. Good luck and many hugs!

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  140. Good luck! If I lived in the Orlando I'd love to help, but I'm in Virginia. Stay strong! You can do this; I know some great doctors. :)
    ~Helen F.

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  141. I've never been to an OB-GYN, but when I had paps done I saw my doctors PA, Carol McMorrow I think her name is. She isn't at the same office anymore (which is why I haven't gone back), but she was amazing! That was more in the Oviedo/UCF area though.

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  142. Do you have a GP?
    I always ask my regular doctor about specialists, including lady doctors.

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  143. I agree with others above. Most places with rude receptionists have rude doctors, and rude doctors are almost always the ones that don't know what they're doing. Good on you for cancelling. I know it can really feel like you're kicking up a fuss about nothing, but it's like avoiding an abusive relationship; never, ever ignore your gut instinct. I hope the next appointment works out the best it can for you.

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  144. Like someone else mentioned, I've always had a better experience with male gynos, too. Maybe they worry more about getting sued if they step the slightest bit out of line or act unpleasant? [shrugs]

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  145. GOOD FOR YOU FOR CANCELLING! I mean, I know I am a total stranger and why would you care what I think, but I was clutching the keyboard as I read the first few sentences thinking, "OH NOES, DON'T GO!"

    I think it makes lots of sense to schedule a "get to know you" appointment before the actual exam appointment, as Carotte said, assuming you can swing the cost. Good doctors will understand why, and bad doctors are doctors you don't want anyway.

    And having rude, mean office staff *should* cause a doctor to lose patients. Because if they don't know how their own front office employees are treating people, what *else* don't they know about what goes on in their practice?

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  146. You did the right thing, not a coward at all! But don't forget to also make sure your medical record is transferred to whoever you do choose. Not sure if you have a primary care provider who coordinates your care, but whoever did your previous procedure will probably have made notes etc. Even if you're never going to see them again (which sounds advisable!) your health information belongs to you, and you have the right to send it to the next doctor who needs it.
    Best of luck in finding someone you can trust!

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  147. I’m SO glad you cancelled, that doc sounds scary! I would have been really worried if it had been me, I think was definitely the right thing to cancel and find someone else.
    I meant to leave a comment on your other post recommending my gynecologist to you but I got distracted with my own annual appointment with her last week.
    I have serious anxiety issues and the thought of my first annual scared the crap outta me two years ago, I ended up taking an extra Xanax to keep the panic under control and even then I was a complete wreck. It went wonderfully, she talked me through the whole thing, told me exactly what she was doing and I can felt like I can ask her any questions at any time or ask her to stop. Though it won’t be an issue for you since you have John she always has another nurse in the room as a witness, for both our safeties. She talks a little fast but she puts me at ease and by now we chat like friends at my appointments. I seriously cannot recommend her enough.
    Her name is Marcella Bujnovsky. She just got a beautiful new office down on Narcoossee which even has a nice café downstairs with gelato, which is a nice reward for yourself after getting your appointment over with (20+ flavors!). She works with another doctor named Vandyke, who’s name is on the building. I’ve never seen him however and can’t vouch for him, only Dr. B. Here is their new website. http://vandykegyn.com/

    I really really hope everything goes well, you've been in my thoughts since your last post.

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  148. You're not a coward. Finding a gyn that you can work with is a massive PITA and you should never go with someone who makes you uncomfortable.

    My mom really likes Dr. Durkee at OB & GYN Specialists. She goes to their office over my Oviedo Marketplace, but they have several offices. She's been great through last year's cancer diagnosis.

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  149. Thank you for being so wonderfully wise and canceling with the office that made you feel uneasy. You deserve the best care.

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  150. I am behind on my blog reading but i was thinking about you. I am SO GLAD you cancelled! From this end it sounds like you did exactly the right thing. And you are doing even better by working on finding someone else! I wish I knew someone great to send you to. Best wishes on the new doctor search!

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  151. Dr. Paul Cespedes is an Internal Medicine doctor in the Orlando area (in the Orlando Health organization, you can google him) who is starting his 3rd year of residency, who sees some patients outpatient and who can help you find a great OBGYN. I went to medical school with him, hung out with his wife and kids, and would literally trust him with my life. Drop my name all you like.

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  152. Jen, may I call you Jen?

    This is not the same thing as trying to find a good McDonalds. This is something that is very personal. You placed great consideration into what vet to take you pets to. The same amount of thought for the care of them should be placed towards you, if not an additional amount. Secondly, if there was no qualms about possibly being violated or treated as less than human, there is still the matter of your health. You've made a brave choice about what to do and you should have a doctor who isn't going to be late, who isn't going to be cold. You aren't a car that they have to sell to your husband, your parents or anyone else. It's not being cowardly to want to be human.

    I can't help you with the doctor search, but I send you hugs and the best wishes for the future

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  153. Well Jen...

    I dont have any advice for you. I too, had a terrible lady bits appointment and have not yet found a new Dr. If yours is good let me know Im in Orlando too! Thankfully for regular checkups my family doctor does them. But they still reccomend a specialist... Im with you! Be strong! It will be worth it once you find a good one!

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  154. My sister, a paramedic in Orlando recommends:
    Dr. Bielawny
    407-380-5888
    779 N Alafaya Tr 32828

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  155. 157Jen, I think you were smart to cancel. When you find someone you want to see, don't make an appointment for your pap - request a meet and greet appointment so you can feel comfortable before you get poked and prodded. If they aren't will to do that much for you, consider looking elsewhere.

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  156. Make a consultation appointment with the next doctor--not an exam, no tests, nothing. Just a "get to know you" appointment. There's nothing wrong with it, and some docs will even do it for free. You're well within your rights to have a conversation with the doc to make sure you're comfortable before proceeding. Explain to her your history and concerns and see what she says. This should help put you at ease--and if a doc is unwilling to meet with you to have this kind of discussion, find a new one.

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  157. Sorry. I know an excellent one in Jax/Orange Park, but I doubt that's much help. It's incredibly sad how trial-and-error and how hard it is to find a good lady bits doc. (Even the female ones, whom you'd think would be more understanding/sympathetic, aren't always safe.)

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  158. I am glad you cancelled. Everyone deserves better customer service and better doctor care than what's been going on in that office! I don't know anyone in Orlando, but I know a fabulous doctor in Lakeland. She's warmly professional, completely disclosing, and a former armed services doctor! The office staff are kind and professional. It's North Lakeland so it shouldn't be too horribly far. Lemme know if you want that info.

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  159. Generally speaking, it's always best to follow your gut feeling - if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. No-one thinks you are a coward, you are just going to see someone else who will suit you better. It's a very personal area, you don't want any Dr.Nick type rummaging down there!

    Jumped-up doctors' receptionists with ideas above their station really tick me off - there is no need for it. All it takes is a little empathy and common courtesy. It makes so much difference when you come across one that is warm and friendly who can put you at ease before you start. If they ask you why you cancelled, I'd cite her as one of the reasons....

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  160. Knock Knock. Who's there? Jen's instincts telling Jen to not pass go.

    Yah you!!! Yah Jon!!! Best to have a great doc with an excellent bedside manner. I dropped a doc for being unfeeling when I was upset. Got a doc who not only performed the procedure flawlessly, but took the time to treat me like a human being.

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  161. Come to Gainesville. Dr. Marichal is the best doctor in all the world :)

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  162. So glad you cancelled! Good luck finding a good doc in your area. I have a great one but she is in Oregon and I won't share her with Florida. It's just too far away. ;)

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  163. Glad you cancelled, that sounded like a bad appt in the making. Always trust your gut! I would ask you friends who they use, that is how I found our fantastic pediatrician and our family doc. If you aren't comfortable with your doctor then I would always recommend finding someone else. I live in Oklahoma so no idea on Orlando. Best of luck!

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  164. I liked Dr Lane Mercer (out of Florida Hospital on Princeton) a whole lot. He came highly recommended by the UCF docs, too. Hope you find a good doc soon. :/

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  165. i wish you lived near cincinnati, because i love my OBGYN. I prefer her over my regular doctor and would recommend her in a heartbeat, and i've gotten to see her every 6 months for 3 years now due to abnormal pap results. I hope that someone in Orlando can share a good one and that you find one that makes all your bad experiences a distant memory. Prayers your way for successful treatment and movin on!

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  166. I hope you find a compassionate and knowledgeable, doctor before too much longer. Don't give up, but do pay attention to such red flags as you have. Even if this doctor turned out to be okay, you don't want to have to deal with abrupt office staff. But please, don't give up! Do what you can to find someone who can guide you to feeling better without additional unnecessary stress.

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  167. Just a thought for you:
    i have the most amazing gyno, i absolutely love her (but unless you want to fly to europe for your appointments, sorry, no match for your needs). her assistent though is very cold, up to the point of rudeness, when you are at the phone with her. i usually try to get my next appointment scheduled while at the office so i don't have to talk to her on the phone. once i am in the office for my scheduled appointment though, she is much more friendly.

    I've seen this with a lot of really good doctors - the assistents are so stressed out because they get constantly called from new future patients, and at the same time have to keep the doctors from getting too overwhelmed with truckloads of patients, so they are really unfriendly at first to shoo away some of the potential patients.

    still, in your case, from the bad reviews you read, you've made the right decision to cancel. you don't need a doc with anything but the best reviews.

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  168. I used Dr. John Zittel in lake mary... he saw me through some scary stuff a while back, he's a good. (407) 302-3130
    - MandaLyn

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  169. If you find a good lady bits doctor in Orlando, let us know, I need one too :) I've been avoiding ever going because of my own trepidation surrounding it, so you're kind of my hero.

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  170. You deserve to have a doctor you are comfortable with and one who treats you well--you're not an "appointment" or an insurance number, you're a person. There are a LOT of doctors out there. You'll find one that you feel OK about, I know it.

    I hate going to the doctor, too, so it's worth it to seek one who is patient and who listens well. They're out there!

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  171. I'm late to the party on this one, but echo everyone else's "so glad you cancelled if you weren't comfortable." I did lots of research and was willing to drive a bit to find a doc I'd be comfortable with. I'll attach her link. Husband/wife practice but I've only seen Trudi (wife). Operate out of Celebration Hospital and office is in Davenport. She listens. Really listens. Then gives you her findings/opinions...then **leaves you to make your own decision about treatment without guilt or coercion.*** Love her. And her office staff is helpful and willing to answer any questions for you (I called for clarifications on my procedure multiple times and they never got impatient!) http://allaboutwomen.biz/

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  172. Dr. Farwick is great...her office is at Health Central in Ocoee, but she's a Winnie Palmer dr,too: http://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-eileen-farwick-xxjvn She only does GYN anymore, not OB, but that won't be an issue for you. Her office staff is great, the nurses are wonderful...very nice & helpful office overall.

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  173. Hopefully you've already found a new doc, but I have really felt taken care of by the docs at my local office of Women's Care of Florida. I'm at the Clermont office, but they have an Orlando branch too. A lot of the docs do go back and forth, so I can vouch for some of them. Here's the website: http://www.womenscarefl.com/

    Good luck.

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  174. I've been following this post, and since the latest update shows you're still looking, thought I'd mention a really excellent Tampa OB/GYN. (Not sure which side of Orlando you're on, but he's near St. Joe's Women's Hospital.

    I haven't seen him in a number of years since I moved over to Pinellas, but he delivered my son (via emergency C-section) and probably saved both our lives by having me pop in between appts just to keep an eye on my blood pressure.

    Oh, and he's so calming I didn't realize how dire the situation had been until well afterward.

    The doc's name is Paul Sporn and the office phone is (813) 870-3342. Might be a bit of a wait to get in to see him, though.

    Please drop me a line if there's anything else you'd like to know about him.

    Good luck, and just know that there's even more of us out here who don't usually comment sending lots of warm thoughts your way.

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  175. Good for you! Too many people (both men and women) put up with bad doctors when they shouldn't. Your lady bits are very important. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and it negatively affects my mood, my weight, and my lady bits. I am now with a great endo who takes time to explain things

    Good luck!

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  176. I might be too late here, but I love my OB/GYN. She's Dr. Leigh White at Partners in Women's Health Care, and they have a few offices around Orlando. Also at the same office, Dr. Eileen Hernandez is wonderful, and so sweet. I have a friend who's seeing Dr. Hernandez on my recommendation, and she loves her too. Dr. Kai Fu is also good, but you might be more comfortable with a woman. He's nice, and good, though. I would avoid Drs. Brown and Abrudescu there, though, since they're just more ... standoffish? But Dr. White and Dr. Hernandez are really warm and nice and good. Dr. White delivered both of my kids, so I trust her.

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  177. Unless the referral comes from a good friend whom you trust implicitly, make an appointment for an office consultation only. No paper sheets. Just talk. In his/her office. You'll pay for the visit like it was an exam, but you'll have a sense of what the doc is like.

    I went through the feeling of my doc not believing me about paing for the longest time, I kept being a PITA until we figured out together what was going on. Some of those office visits were consultations only.

    You'll feel much more empowered and comfortable with an office visit. Your lady bits are nothing to be trifled with.

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  178. Here are just a few things you and John can be proud of:

    1) you made an appointment
    2) you followed up a gut instinct with research
    3) you acted preemptively when the research prompted you to do so for your emotional and physical health
    4) you sent me a voucher for a lifetime supply of ice cream
    5) you are not caving into a spirit of fear
    6) you guys are doing pro-active research in order to get a quality doctor as soon as possible

    And now for a funny story.

    All of the schools I have taught at have nursing programs, and pre-reqs always involved my Comp classes. One day, I went into my then-gynecologist (an absolutely wonderful doctor), changed into the paper gown, and waited on the table. Then my former student walked in, wearing scrubs and carrying my chart.

    "Gloria!" says I. "How are you? I haven't seen you in two years!"

    "Mrs. Haiku!" says Gloria. "I did it! I'm a nurse now!"

    And then I realized. Gloria was MY nurse, and I was at the gynecologist.

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  179. I also go to Loch Haven Ob/Gyn, but I see Dr. Boone, not the docs mentioned previously. He's very warm and actually takes the time to see how I feel about by birth control each time I come in. He did a colposcopy on me (biopsy not required) and I made it through without getting too nervous or feeling too much pain.

    Aside from the level of care, Loch Haven is a good fit for me because there's a bunch of doctors in the practice (makes it easier to get an appointment if you're in a hurry) and it's easy to get in and out of the building. They also have cloth gowns instead of paper, which is a small thing but a big comfort. The nurses and receptionists have always been kind and willing to help me with my prescriptions as needed. One nurse even called me in the parking lot because she forgot to give me a prescription form.

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